PDA

View Full Version : Wow...this is gold...


CallMeChief
04/14/06, 11:01 PM
One of my friends directed me toward my neighbor's (he's, like, 12) myspace and he is apparently a vehement yankee hater, which is funny because i cant picture hating anything at 12, but my friend wanted to show me this post, 50 reasons to hate the yankees. I read it out of pure interest, and it was absolutely hilarious. Only about 1/3rd of it (MAYBE) even makes sense.

1. The first and foremost reason ought to be their post-season successes. Under the ownership of George Steinbrenner the team earned the credibility, affection and endurance.
2. Steinbrenner did not have to go to jail after having been convicted for his criminal act. Yankees GM is merely 33 years of age. Derek Jeter dated Mariah Carey.
3. The Yankees privileged a truant, Jeffrey Maier, whose intrusion altered the momentum of the 1996 playoffs. He turned an out into a series-turning Yankee home run.
4. In 1942, Joe Gordon won the MVP honor over Triple Crown winner Ted Williams.
5. Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak in 1941 is considered to be a record in baseball.
6. Reggie Jackson's and Billy Martin played a combined twelve seasons for the Yankees and hit .261. The Yankees retired their numbers.
7. The Yankees admirers are very enthusiastic and deck up themselves irrespective of the jeer they earn. Roger Angell described them as "overdressed, uncomprehending autumn arrivistes."
8. In the worst-ever made-for-television movie, Dent played a football player who fell in love with a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader.
9. Yankees ought to owe the supremacy of their dynasty to Red Sox owner Harry Frazee and their good luck. An envious reason indeed.
10. The Yankees were destined to become the powerful team. They superseded the Chicago White Sox who were on the verge of establishing themselves as the team of future. It was only after the Black Sox scandal, the Yankee dynasty became all the more powerful.
11. Yankees broadcaster Phil "Holy Cow" Rizzuto. His partialities would have earned him the nickname "Homer" despite of the fact that he hit only thirty-eight four-baggers during his thirteen years of major league career
12. Convicted criminals Darryl Strawberry and Steve Howe played efficiently in the Yankees uniform.
13. As a Yankee, Don Zimmer has advanced from "the Gerbil" to a Grand Old Man.
14. The Yankees followed their glorious past consistently and won the coveted Fall Classic title 26 times.
15. The Reggie! Bar was as hard to stomach as its namesake.
16. Steinbrenner after having been rusticated from baseball for life restored his duties once again after three years.
17. Yankees never dying spirit resulted in Joe DiMaggio winning the 1947 MVP accolade over Triple Crown winner Ted Williams.
18. Roger Maris played only for three seasons in the Yankees jersey. Yankees gave him his due obeisance and retired his number.
19. Yankee reliever Sparky Lyle wrote The Bronx Zoo, a 300-page book, which revealed the tid-bits about the tough life faced by a contender who earns handsome salary for pitching for a World Series winner.
20. The adversities in the Yankees are believed to consume the nation. Tony Conigliaro, whose life was more tragic than Munson's, and who hit more home runs than Manson’s was simply forgotten by the Red Sox.
21. Jim Leyritz.
22. After the culmination of World War II, Yankees after winning their first flag in twelve years lost the Fall Classic title against the Cincinnati Reds. Steinbrenner criticized the loss and took it as a personal humiliation.
23. The Kansas City A's were effectively a Yankee farm club.
24. Probably Babe Ruth’s Story was the worst sports movie ever made.
25. In the 1970s Howard Cosell praised Mickey Rivers and Chris Chambliss when the Yankees were on Monday Night Baseball in the 1970's.
26. Monday Night Baseball was indeed The Yankee Game of the Week.
27. The above-average playing skills of ordinary Yankees contenders were published on the magazine covers.
28. Chris Chambliss's trip around the bases after his 1976 pennant-winning home run was more of an adventure
29. Steinbrenner has demanded from the New York City to build him a paint-by-the-numbers stadium with lavish boxes.
30. The former owner of the team, Larry McPhail made it unfeasible for Hall of Famers Joe McCarthy and Bill Dickey to take the hold of managerial duties of the Yankees.
31. Steinbrenner and five-time Yankee manager Billy Martin patched up and broke up recurrently.
32. A Yankee fan's contribution to baseball chat rooms is restricted to "Red Sox suck" and "1918."
33. Yankees after exiling their star player Babe Ruth to Boston Braves gave the opportunity to stars like Frank Colman and Roy Weatherly wear Ruth's #3 before retiring it.
34. Yankee co-owner Del "Mr. Baseball" Webb.
35. Yankee General Manager George "Chuckles" Weiss.
36. Catcher Charlie Silvera contended in 227 major league playoffs and one World Series game. He was also on six World Series winners.
37. Bill Mazeroski hit the World Series-winning home run and batted .320 in 1960, but Yankee Bobby Richardson earned the MVP honor.
38. Yankees have the largest payroll.
39. Bouton is a liar. The Yankees issued a paycheck to a big-mouthed complainer who had a record of 4-15 1965.
40. DiMaggio was voted baseball's "Greatest Living Player."
41. It was awfully wrong when Luis Tiant pictured in a Yankee jersey, holding a hot dog and saying "It is great to be with a winner."
42. Wally Pipp could not play with a headache.
43. The Yankees prohibited radio broadcasts of their games in the 1930’s and 1940’s.
44. You had to applaud for someone in the Billy Martin-Ed Whitson fight.
45. Shane Spencer had a few great weeks in the New York jersey. The media compared the initiation of his career with various Hall of Famers. A great achievement indeed.
46. Hurricane Hazle, after a six-game major league career with the Reds, hit .403 in forty-one games for the '57 Braves and within a year the twenty-eight-year-old was gone from the major leagues. He often visits ailing kids in the hospitals.
47. The Yankees have assisted cause the exorbitant salaries in baseball. Bernie Williams makes over $12 million a year.
48. Ron Blomberg earned the designation of baseball's first designated hitter.
49. Jerry Coleman, whose malapropisms (unintentional humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase) as a Padres announcer are renowned. Incidentally he is a former Yankee.
50. Hillary Clinton claims to be a lifelong Yankee fan despite of not knowing much about the game.

I especially like number 5 ( yea, its not like joe dimmagio actually holds a record?) and number 50, just because how the hell is number 50 a basis for hating the team. It's rather hilarious. i didnt read through it all though.

Broken Parachute
04/14/06, 11:20 PM
Hahaha Yeah I've seen that. This one is better:

10 RULES FOR BEING A YANKEE FAN

1. It's important to point out past post-season success as often as possible. However, if anyone points out anything in the past that doesn't reflect positively on the Yankees, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter now. For example, it is okay to point out that the Yankees beat the Mariners in the 2000 ALCS. However, if anyone points out that the Mariners beat the Yankees in the 1995 ALDs, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter.

2. Nothing in the regular season matters, unless it's favorable to the Yankees. For example, Roger Clemens is 16-1 this year, and has dominated. However, if anyone points out that the Mariners have beaten Clemens twice this year, respond by saying, "Regular Season doesn't mean crap". Regular Season wins and losses are especially irrelevant, unless you are the 1998 Yankees.

3. Statistics are for losers. Whenever someone posts a statistic that you find confusing, quickly point out that the Yankees have won 4 out of the last 5 World Series.

4. If anyone accuses the Yankees of "buying" their championships, argue that Jeter, B Williams, Pettitte, Soriano, Rivera, and Posada are all home-grown talent. Then, hope that nobody notices that this represents only 6 out of 25 players, and hope they don't bring up Clemens, Mussina, Hitchcock, Witasik, Wohlers, Stanton, Martinez, Sojo, Knoblauch, O'Neill, Brosius, Justice, Lilly and more. Also hope they don't mention the fact that Gerald Williams was recently acquired but never plays, much like Jose Canseco last year.

5. Whenever you argue with a Red Sox fan, always bring up 1918. This will infuriate them and while they type a response, you can point out that the Yankees have won 4 out of the last 5 championships. See Rule #1

6. Statistics and records are never as important as name recognition. Statistics should always be dismissed unless they are favorable to the Yankees. For example, Clemens is 16-1. That's a good statistic. Mussina is 12-10, but that doesn't matter because . Well-known names are always better than any statistic. If anyone argues with that, see Rule #2.

7. Defend Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens at all costs. Resort to name calling and threats of violence if necessary.

8. All other fans of all other teams are bandwagon fans. Nobody has a more loyal, more dedicated following than the Yankees. If a team is hot, or is playing well, call that team's fans bandwagoners. Then point out how many championships the Yankees have won. See Rule #1.

9. The Yankees are the Defending World Champions until baseball adopts a policy forbidding them to play in the post-season. Such a policy will never exist, because George Steinbrenner vehemently opposes anything that doesn't directly contribute to the success of the Yankees, so therefore, the Yankees will forever be the Defending World Champions. If another teams wins the championship, then it was because of . Refer to Rule #1.

10. The following traits should be avoided at all times: logic, humility, reason, and class. You are the World Champions. You should act like it and point it out at all times. See Rule #1.

mikeford
04/15/06, 07:12 AM
things like this make me hate red sox fans.

Scott Weber
04/15/06, 10:44 AM
Haha, I thought those were hilarious...especially the stuff about how NY glorfies players that really weren't that good (Reggie Jackson)

mikeford
04/15/06, 10:48 AM
yeah reggie jackson wasn't that good. he wasnt one of the best postseason players ever or anything.

Jesse2
04/15/06, 10:56 AM
Some of those might have been funny if they didn't seem like they were written by a retard with a baseball almanac.

Yankees' #1 Fan
04/15/06, 11:00 AM
those are two horrible lists.

people that laugh at those, are people that laugh at stupid tshirts and horrible bumper stickers

Caleb Cattivera
04/15/06, 11:07 AM
i cant believe boston fans are sticking up for this thread haha.

Jesse2
04/15/06, 11:14 AM
i cant believe boston fans are sticking up for this thread haha.

because these aren't funny at all.

I laugh when Bill Simmons makes fun of the Yankees, because that guy is hilarious. these lists suck.

Scott Weber
04/15/06, 11:16 AM
even though some of them were dumb, the pointing to post-season success immediately is totally true.

ThriftWhore
04/15/06, 12:48 PM
I dunno if anybody heard, but that kid Jeffrey Maier who stole the homerun for the yankees recently broke the record for the most hits at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut.

CallMeChief
04/15/06, 01:03 PM
I dunno if anybody heard, but that kid Jeffrey Maier who stole the homerun for the yankees recently broke the record for the most hits at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut.

who cares? The yankees have won the last 4 out of 5 championships.

kshtoinks12
04/15/06, 01:06 PM
yankees pwn n00bs like whoa

ThriftWhore
04/15/06, 01:25 PM
who cares? The yankees have won the last 4 out of 5 championships.
Who cares what a 12 year old on myspace says? Oh, you, that's right.

Have they won the last 4 out of 5 championships, because I don't think they have. Unless you're referring to the AL East, or something else that has no relevance to the word "championship" whatsoever.

mikeford
04/15/06, 01:35 PM
last 5 world series winners dont even include the yankees... LOL

white sox - 05
red sox - 04
marlins - 03
angels - 02
diamondbacks - 01

FondestMemory
04/15/06, 01:38 PM
maybe what he meant was that they've been to two of the last five, and those just happen to be the two years that the national league won it.

either he meant that, or he has no fucking clue what he's talking about.

i'm going with the latter.

mikeford
04/15/06, 01:40 PM
im pretty sure what it actually means is that this is mad old.

Yankees' #1 Fan
04/15/06, 01:55 PM
yeah, definitely just means its old.

justinevans
04/15/06, 02:55 PM
obviously if anyone had a brain you'd realize that was from a few years ago lol.

selftitled85
04/15/06, 03:16 PM
can someone explain to me how dimaggio's 56 game hitting streak should not be a record?

selftitled85
04/15/06, 03:25 PM
5. Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak in 1941 is considered to be a record in baseball.
7. The Yankees admirers are very enthusiastic and deck up themselves irrespective of the jeer they earn. Roger Angell described them as "overdressed, uncomprehending autumn arrivistes."
11. Yankees broadcaster Phil "Holy Cow" Rizzuto. His partialities would have earned him the nickname "Homer" despite of the fact that he hit only thirty-eight four-baggers during his thirteen years of major league career
14. The Yankees followed their glorious past consistently and won the coveted Fall Classic title 26 times.
18. Roger Maris played only for three seasons in the Yankees jersey. Yankees gave him his due obeisance and retired his number.
22. After the culmination of World War II, Yankees after winning their first flag in twelve years lost the Fall Classic title against the Cincinnati Reds. Steinbrenner criticized the loss and took it as a personal humiliation.
46. Hurricane Hazle, after a six-game major league career with the Reds, hit .403 in forty-one games for the '57 Braves and within a year the twenty-eight-year-old was gone from the major leagues. He often visits ailing kids in the hospitals.

5) See my earlier post
7) Have you seen fans from other teams? Much weirder. Someone else talked about going to St. Louis and everyone is wearing red so this is a completely ludicrous reason...also look at the oakland raiders
11) The fuck?
14) Yeah because tradition has anything to do with winning world series. "hey guys the ghosts are telling us since they won earlier we must now."
18) When you hold the home run record I think your allowed to get your number retired
22) Except Steinbrenner wasnt running nor even part of the admin for the yanks then.
46) The fuck?

CallMeChief
04/15/06, 09:50 PM
Who cares what a 12 year old on myspace says? Oh, you, that's right.

Have they won the last 4 out of 5 championships, because I don't think they have. Unless you're referring to the AL East, or something else that has no relevance to the word "championship" whatsoever.

....i was kidding dude. chill out. it was a joke, i was referring to the second post and playing with the "yankee fans are stupid" theme...

jaimej
04/15/06, 11:02 PM
Wow these are ridiculous. Don't even begin to say they're funny weebs haha.

hockey0001
04/15/06, 11:09 PM
some of the ones on the second list made me laugh a little bit, but most of them were just dumb.

preppyak
04/16/06, 08:08 AM
I dunno if anybody heard, but that kid Jeffrey Maier who stole the homerun for the yankees recently broke the record for the most hits at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut.
yeah, this was on ESPN today, they featured him on Sportscenter