way to go

[thetrueblood]

When will this end? When will I find the strength to just walk away?
my skull is fractured in 12 places and i'm giving you the hammer.
after every merciless blow i keep coming back for more.
fuck oliver twist.
i'm on the stage covered in pigs blood and i'm blowing you a kiss.
I'm still writing on Xanga like a prepubescent child.
i'm standing at the window while a feast is being served,
and you're drawing the curtains-- and everyone's telling me
to find someone I deserve. who deserves me.
I deserve some chocolate mousse.
I deserve to get fucked senseless on the roof.
I deserve ultimate truth.

this is the sound of my soul letting go,
this is the change from the melting snow.

my heart has been racing for so long i don't have the will to tell him he lost.

I want to write songs and lyrics. I want to sell t-shirts. I want to start a venue.
i want to travel the world. except for africa. i want supreme knowledge. i want to enlighten people. i want to change one person's view of the world. I want people to always have a place to go when things get rough. i want to die alone and smile on my deathbed and whisper to myself in the final moment "you were always too good for this place"

i want to forget your taste.

i want to put the fruit back on the tree with duct tape and pretend it was never taken off to begin with.

I want to stand on the roof of my van and drive down the interstate and pretend i'm surfing and then backflip into a convertible and whisper to the driver "stop tailgating me."

I want you to see things my way.

this is the sound of my soul letting go.
this is the sound of my soul letting go.
this is the sound of my soul letting go.

this is absolute silence.