my song. . .

[the_martyr]

Tell me things make me feel much better,
Why don’t you,
Just give me the fucking truth,
You spent so much of your time pretending,
That I can read the vibes you’re sending,

If you don’t care then why should I?
If you don’t love me then why . . . should X 2 (end on scream with WHY SHOULD I?)

You’re content,
Living your own lie,
I’m doing fine,
You won’t miss,
When I’m gone,
Really so save it
We both know x 2

My descent starts here,
I will say my farewell,
Because good intentions are never enough,
It’s easy to be happy when you have so much X 3 (third time is scream)
You could lose it all today (mid to high)

ITS EASY.....TOO BE HAPPY.... WHEN YOU HAVE.....SO MUCHHHHH!!!!! (low)

[Praetor]

This + his posts in the politics forum = joke account.

[the_martyr]

i would love to hear the songs you've written. . .since you're so judgmental.

[The Personist]

If you're twenty five and you think this is good enough to pass for a song, then there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.

[the_martyr]

If you're twenty five and you think this is good enough to pass for a song, then there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.

clearly; there must be seriously wrong with me. maybe you would still like to share why it's not good enough for your standards to be a song.

[The Personist]

It's a piece of shit. Nothing interesting or original in the writing, and you did that stupid thing where you marked where the screams and vocal changes and shit are. It's stupid...and no one who writes (decent) songs that I know is dumb enough to do that.

[the_martyr]

It's a piece of shit. Nothing interesting or original in the writing, and you did that stupid thing where you marked where the screams and vocal changes and shit are. It's stupid...and no one who writes (decent) songs that I know is dumb enough to do that.

hold that. the question i asked was a loaded one. i don't care what you think. your a fucking prick.

[Praetor]

i would love to hear the songs you've written. . .since you're so judgmental.
I'm a fairly bad songwriter. I have tried and failed in the past. But at least I'm smart enough not to broadcast my lyrical abortions for all the world to see.

[the_martyr]

I'm a fairly bad songwriter. I have tried and failed in the past. But at least I'm smart enough not to broadcast my lyrical abortions for all the world to see.

aka i don't have what it takes to write my own songs, and it makes me feel better about myself if i bash other people's work because i'm a coward.

[The Personist]

I wish the OP was a coward so we didn't have to see this tripe.

[Praetor]

aka i don't have what it takes to write my own songs, and it makes me feel better about myself if i bash other people's work because i'm a coward.
Yes! That's exactly what I was trying to say. If only I possessed your literary prowess, I could properly express myself.

[Ryzenfall]

aka i don't have what it takes to write my own songs, and it makes me feel better about myself if i bash other people's work because i'm a coward.

I've decided it's not worth it to explain to you why this is so logically flawed it hurts.

[The Personist]

What the fuck is a pretentious math riddle, and where can I read one?

[the_martyr]

I've decided it's not worth it to explain to you why this is so logically flawed it hurts.

ya. because his feedback was so well structured, its not like he was trolling or anything.

[the_martyr]

What the fuck is a pretentious math riddle, and where can I read one?
read your own writing then.

[the_martyr]

Yes! That's exactly what I was trying to say. If only I possessed your literary prowess, I could properly express myself.

aka im still a coward.

[The Personist]

read your own writing then.
I've never written a math riddle, but that sounds pretty cool.

[Praetor]

aka im still a coward.
No, I just know my limits.

[the_martyr]

I've never written a math riddle, but that sounds pretty cool.

you know, that shitty excuse for writing that you do. where you hide behind big words because you think it makes it more artistic, and bash anyone else that tries to write differently.

[the_martyr]

No, I just know my limits.

yes. we all know you have many limitations. this is no big news.

[The Personist]

you know, that shitty excuse for writing that you do. where you hide behind big words because you think it makes it more artistic, and bash anyone else that tries to write differently.
http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=1280652
OMG LOOK AT ALL MY BIG WORDZ

[Praetor]

yes. we all know you have many limitations. this is no big news.
haha, you wrote this.

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?p=47158241#post47158 241

I have limitations. But at least tolerance isn't one of them.

[The Personist]

haha, you wrote this.

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?p=47158241#post47158 241

I have limitations. But at least tolerance isn't one of them.
Hahahahahaha wow.

[Praetor]

So wait, math riddle = big words?

[the_martyr]

http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=1280652
OMG LOOK AT ALL MY BIG WORDZ


aka hey everybody look at me, i am the most original writer to grace the earth and i must bash everybody else because clearly they are not good enough to compare.

wake up call. you are not an artist, just another asshole. get over yourself.

[the_martyr]

haha, you wrote this.

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?p=47158241#post47158 241

I have limitations. But at least tolerance isn't one of them.


is this how you act when confronted with the truth? why are you so desperate that you feel the need to dig up posts about me saying im a christian. matter of fact, lets all laugh because thats so funny. how dare i be a christian!

you're pathetic.

[The Personist]

aka hey everybody look at me, i am the most original writer to grace the earth and i must bash everybody else because clearly they are not good enough to compare.

wake up call. you are not an artist, just another asshole. get over yourself.
It doesn't matter what I say in response to you, because no matter what, you're still going to call me an asshole. It's rather liberating, don't you think?

[as_we_learn]

This is bland, trite, and cliche. Nicest way I could put it, it's not good.

[the_martyr]

haha, you wrote this.

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?p=47158241#post47158 241

I have limitations. But at least tolerance isn't one of them.

the irony being that you are extremely intolerant of others.

[the_martyr]

This is bland, trite, and cliche. Nicest way I could put it, it's not good.

in your opinion its not good. thanks for your contribution.

[The Personist]

the irony being that you are extremely intolerant of others.
Isn't carrying on calling people assholes very UN-Christian? Just sayin'...

[as_we_learn]

in your opinion its not good. thanks for your contribution.

In terms of being structure and other things this piece isn't good. It's not opinion, most people will tell you it's poorly written.

[the_martyr]

Isn't carrying on calling people assholes very UN-Christian? Just sayin'...

says the person who used every post in this thread to try to troll and insult me. its just like you, the coward, to spend your efforts trying to create a negative atmosphere then you go crying when you get stepped on. man up. don't play with fire if you don't like getting burned. every time you post you expose a little more of your true nature. you have all the tendencies of a cockroach.

[the_martyr]

In terms of being structure and other things this piece isn't good. It's not opinion, most people will tell you it's poorly written.

but it is an opinion. its your opinion. and its not worth much.

[The Personist]

says the person who used every post in this thread to try to troll and insult me. its just like you, the coward, to spend your efforts trying to create a negative atmosphere then you go crying when you get stepped on. man up. don't play with fire if you don't like getting burned. every time you post you expose a little more of your true nature. you have all the tendencies of a cockroach.
Can you direct me to a post of yours in this thread that ISN'T insulting?

[the_martyr]

Can you direct me to a post of yours in this thread that ISN'T insulting?

nice try. when we both know i was attacked in this thread from its creation. stop pretending. you're an asshole. i know it and you know it.

[The Personist]

nice try. when we both know i was attacked in this thread from its creation. stop pretending. you're an asshole. i know it and you know it.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. That's one of those Christian tidbits you should know, but don't. Another lovely adage: "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Your conduct isn't justified by mine. Grow up.

[as_we_learn]

but it is an opinion. its your opinion. and its not worth much.

Why are you taking the criticism so personally I was trying to explain why it isn't very interesting, so you could try and go differently to improve.

[the_martyr]

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. That's one of those Christian tidbits you should know, but don't. Another lovely adage: "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Your conduct isn't justified by mine. Grow up.

you really are slimy filth. you think i need a theological lesson from you? do me, and everyone else a favor, go back to writing your boring poems and if you really enjoyed them that much you wouldn't need to bash others.

i see through you.

[the_martyr]

Why are you taking the criticism so personally I was trying to explain why it isn't very interesting, so you could try and go differently to improve.

because you really didn't give me any criticism, you told me its cliche and not structured properly, but then fail to show me how it should be structured properly. also, i have read your style of writing and i do not like it. i don't think it would make a good song, and im not trying to write poems im trying to write music. so any constructive criticism i would actually appreciate. but some of these real assholes like the personist are just looking to cause trouble.

[The Personist]

you really are slimy filth. you think i need a theological lesson from you? do me, and everyone else a favor, go back to writing your boring poems and if you really enjoyed them that much you wouldn't need to bash others.

i see through you.
You should thoroughly critique my works to explain how they are boring so I might learn to be as masterful as you.

[the_martyr]

You should thoroughly critique my works to explain how they are boring so I might learn to be as masterful as you.

just be you, minus the asshole.

and ill be me. thanks.

[as_we_learn]

because you really didn't give me any criticism, you told me its cliche and not structured properly, but then fail to show me how it should be structured properly. also, i have read your style of writing and i do not like it. i don't think it would make a good song, and im not trying to write poems im trying to write music. so any constructive criticism i would actually appreciate. but some of these real assholes like the personist are just looking to cause trouble.
Ok then I'll bold what's cliche.
Tell me things make me feel much better,
Why don’t you,
Just give me the fucking truth,
You spent so much of your time pretending,
That I can read the vibes you’re sending,

If you don’t care then why should I?
If you don’t love me then why . . . should X 2 (end on scream with WHY SHOULD I?)

You’re content,
Living your own lie,
I’m doing fine,
You won’t miss,
When I’m gone,
Really so save it
We both know x 2

My descent starts here,
I will say my farewell,
Because good intentions are never enough,
It’s easy to be happy when you have so much X 3 (third time is scream)
You could lose it all today (mid to high)

ITS EASY.....TOO BE HAPPY.... WHEN YOU HAVE.....SO MUCHHHHH!!!!! (low)
Next time don't put where all the screams or vocals and stuff work. People will not take you seriously if you do.

Again, not trying to be a dick, just trying to help.

[The Personist]

just be you, minus the asshole.

and ill be me. thanks.
Specify.

[the_martyr]

Specify.


be happy living your own work and doing your own writing. there is no way in hell i would ever come into your thread, (and i have read a couple of your poems) and say something so rude even if it wasn't my thing.
if you had been nice to me and pointed out what to change i would had been fine with that. . .so at the very least, learn that lesson from me.

[as_we_learn]

Btw my poem was devoid of emotion or passion because I didn't use caps, exclamation points, and write where I sing, sing loud, sing louder, or scream.

[The Personist]

be happy living your own work and doing your own writing. there is no way in hell i would ever come into your thread, (and i have read a couple of your poems) and say something so rude even if it wasn't my thing.
if you had been nice to me and pointed out what to change i would had been fine with that. . .so at the very least, learn that lesson from me.
You did it to as_we_learn. You're a hypocrite.

[the_martyr]

Ok then I'll bold what's cliche.

Next time don't put where all the screams or vocals and stuff work. People will not take you seriously if you do.

Again, not trying to be a dick, just trying to help.

ok. i can work with this. this is a rushed piece i did recently that is in direct relation to an event in my life. so i don't mean to be cliche but some things are personal and that's how i write.
the captions for my screams are only there because of my bad memory and meant no offense by them.
also, this is only third song i have wrote lyrics to, so obviously there is bound to be mistakes. . .

[the_martyr]

You did it to as_we_learn. You're a hypocrite.

every time you post you degrade yourself further. to what end? no one believes you.

[The Personist]

every time you post you degrade yourself further. to what end? no one believes you.
Haha. Wow.

[the_martyr]

You did it to as_we_learn. You're a hypocrite.

your obviously coming to grips with realization of your own cruel nature. i wish you the best, but you are rather unpleasant, and think it would be best if you had some healing time. you aren't really contributing anything and i think it would be best for everyone if you had some alone time to reflect on how to treat others. then you could write about that in your poem. it might even make it interesting.

[The Personist]

your obviously coming to grips with realization of your own cruel nature. i wish you the best, but you are rather unpleasant, and think it would be best if you had some healing time. you aren't really contributing anything and i think it would be best for everyone if you had some alone time to reflect on how to treat others. then you could write about that in your poem. it might even make it interesting.
You're the one arbitrating who is and isn't an artist, though, which is a little more pretentious that I've been.

[the_martyr]

You're the one arbitrating who is and isn't an artist, though, which is a little more pretentious that I've been.

you tell yourself that.

[as_we_learn]

your obviously coming to grips with realization of your own cruel nature. i wish you the best, but you are rather unpleasant, and think it would be best if you had some healing time. you aren't really contributing anything and i think it would be best for everyone if you had some alone time to reflect on how to treat others. then you could write about that in your poem. it might even make it interesting.

Dude, you're the one being extremely intolerable. Take the criticism good or bad and run with it, rather than complain. You're writing music, you're going to get people being dicks to you, get used to it. Stop trying to change people and go change yourself and improve your writing.

[the_martyr]

Dude, you're the one being extremely intolerable. Take the criticism good or bad and run with it, rather than complain. You're writing music, you're going to get people being dicks to you, get used to it. Stop trying to change people and go change yourself and improve your writing.

where do you people come from? do you live in some alternate reality where the opposite is true? go back to the first page, and read how this thread played out, then tell me i'm the one being intolerable. there was no criticism offered just personal attack, and you reluctantly offered your shred of advice after i pried it out of you. the other insane thing is that after provoking the whole mess, the perpetrators try to act like the victims.

[as_we_learn]

where do you people come from? do you live in some alternate reality where the opposite is true? go back to the first page, and read how this thread played out, then tell me i'm the one being intolerable. there was no criticism offered just personal attack, and you reluctantly offered your shred of advice after i pried it out of you. the other insane thing is that after provoking the whole mess, the perpetrators try to act like the victims.

You're so emotional because your post got flamed. You shouldn't post on the internet, if you expect people to be kind and polite. Seriously, this isn't a formal writing forum, people can say what they want. Regardless right you're acting like a little girl about things.

[the_martyr]

You're so emotional because your post got flamed. You shouldn't post on the internet, if you expect people to be kind and polite. Seriously, this isn't a formal writing forum, people can say what they want. Regardless right you're acting like a little girl about things.

if you believe that your just as bad as the rest of them.

[as_we_learn]

if you believe that your just as bad as the rest of them.

Then by all means leave, we don't need a whiney little bitch in here.

[the_martyr]

You're so emotional because your post got flamed. You shouldn't post on the internet, if you expect people to be kind and polite. Seriously, this isn't a formal writing forum, people can say what they want. Regardless right you're acting like a little girl about things.

furthermore, whats it to you? what does it say about your own character, to go out of your way and basically tell me i should accept that everyone is an asshole online and i shouldnt expect to receive constructive criticism. your 16 years old. i was writing before you were born.
have some respect and learn how to become a man. thats my advice to you.

[the_martyr]

Then by all means leave, we don't need a whiney little bitch in here.

don't worry about me. ill be up way past your bedtime son.

[the_martyr]

whose next?

[as_we_learn]

furthermore, whats it to you? what does it say about your own character, to go out of your way and basically tell me i should accept that everyone is an asshole online and i shouldnt expect to receive constructive criticism. your 16 years old. i was writing before you were born.
have some respect and learn how to become a man. thats my advice to you.
I'm saying if you don't like this forum leave, we've become comfortable enough with the way we criticize here.

Nice on playing the age card, made me feel less worthy because you started dying earlier than me.
don't worry about me. ill be up way past your bedtime son.
Don't say son to me, I won't be up because I have school and a job to go to. Unlike you, I'm not unemployed.

[MSIndulgence]

Then by all means leave, we don't need a whiney little bitch in here.
This.

and HOLY LOL at that song, sounds like a some rejected shit from Escape The Fate's This War is Ours and that ain't a good thing.. that record was fucking terrible

[the_martyr]

I'm saying if you don't like this forum leave, we've become comfortable enough with the way we criticize here.

Nice on playing the age card, made me feel less worthy because you started dying earlier than me.

Don't say son to me, I won't be up because I have school and a job to go to. Unlike you, I'm not unemployed.

spoken like a true child.

[as_we_learn]

spoken like a true child.

Spoken like a true ignorant fool who's run out of things to say.

[the_martyr]

This.

and HOLY LOL at that song, sounds like a some rejected shit from Escape The Fate's This War is Ours and that ain't a good thing.. that record was fucking terrible

awesome.

[the_martyr]

Spoken like a true ignorant fool who's run out of things to say.

somebody is getting cranky. don't worry, mommies gonna heat up some milk for you.

[as_we_learn]

somebody is getting cranky. don't worry, mommies gonna heat up some milk for you.


I love how to attack my age and then stoop down to my level. It's good though at least it brings out your true character.

Btw I believe you were the one getting cranky because someone "attacked" your personal "piece." Haha You're such a fool.

[the_martyr]

I love how to attack my age and then stoop down to my level. It's good though at least it brings out your true character.

Btw I believe you were the one getting cranky because someone "attacked" your personal "piece." Haha You're such a fool.


the day i care what you think, well. . .that day will never come. so you can save your time.
you act your age. it shows. you don't know much, and have a problem with accepting. i mean every word of this: grow up.

[MSIndulgence]

I love how to attack my age and then stoop down to my level. It's good though at least it brings out your true character.

Btw I believe you were the one getting cranky because someone "attacked" your personal "piece." Haha You're such a fool.
agree with this guy. don't waste your time with that idiot haha

[the_martyr]

I love how to attack my age and then stoop down to my level. It's good though at least it brings out your true character.

Btw I believe you were the one getting cranky because someone "attacked" your personal "piece." Haha You're such a fool.

such selective memory you have. since when was it my piece that got attacked, and not me personally? hold that thought. we both know the answer.

[as_we_learn]

the day i care what you think, well. . .that day will never come. so you can save your time.
you act your age. it shows. you don't know much, and have a problem with accepting. i mean every word of this: grow up.

You seem to be the one that doesn't take his own advice, you're the one having a hissy fit on the internet.

Btw You don't seem to act your age, it shows. I mean every word of this, grow up and get ready for the world to take a big shit on you.

[the_martyr]

agree with this guy. don't waste your time with that idiot haha

indeed. don't "waste your time".

[the_martyr]

You seem to be the one that doesn't take his own advice, you're the one having a hissy fit on the internet.

Btw You don't seem to act your age, it shows. I mean every word of this, grow up and get ready for the world to take a big shit on you.


lol! i knew you would crack and let that whiny little five year old out eventually. do you have tears in your eyes right now? you're speaking nonsense kid! lmao

[as_we_learn]

such selective memory you have. since when was it my piece that got attacked, and not me personally? hold that thought. we both know the answer.

I said your "piece" got attacked and I mentioned it was one that was personal since you did say what you write is personal, so your post here is irrelevant considering it's not what I said at all.

[MSIndulgence]

lol! i knew you would crack and let that whiny little five year old out eventually. do you have tears in your eyes right now? you're speaking nonsense kid! lmao
dude, give it up

[as_we_learn]

lol! i knew you would crack and let that whiny little five year old out eventually. do you have tears in your eyes right now? you're speaking nonsense kid! lmao

How is that me cracking? You're a troll, there's no way there's someone alive as ignorant as you.

[the_martyr]

You seem to be the one that doesn't take his own advice, you're the one having a hissy fit on the internet.

Btw You don't seem to act your age, it shows. I mean every word of this, grow up and get ready for the world to take a big shit on you.


its ok. mommie is going to tuck you in real tite. its nappy nap time for kido.

[the_martyr]

How is that me cracking? You're a troll, there's no way there's someone alive as ignorant as you.

dont get cranky with me kiddo. or else there will be no video games for a week.

[the_martyr]

Funny thread :ok:

oh its on now.

[as_we_learn]

dont get cranky with me kiddo. or else there will be no video games for a week.

Haha You're just joking I get it now.

[the_martyr]

now that i've put the children to bed we can move on to more pressing matters.

[as_we_learn]

now that i've put the children to bed we can move on to more pressing matters.

Or you could attack him based on the fact that he's a year younger than me. You're such a hypocrite.

[the_martyr]

Yes, like your dignity!
:buddies:

I've spent entirely too long with this. It was fun. Let's do it again sometime.

[Ryzenfall]

I find it hilarious how the OP finally got the fairly constructive criticism he claimed to so desperately want, from as_we_learn and never gave a word of thanks.

[Praetor]

If you didn't want opinions, which you obviously don't, why did you post this here? If you can't take criticism and respond to critiques with "It's your opinion, it means nothing" then I don't see you having a very successful life.