a note to the fallen

[SHUTYOUREYESx]

Was it the constant fear
That led me here
To struggle on my own
Was it the lack of life
I feel inside
That put me in this hole

Was it the presence or the absence
Of this pen creating madness
Was it blown off desperation
or just sorrow with a passion

Was it the wins or the loses
That led me to darkness
Consumed by a fire
Of destruction and false lips

Where there’s no truth, there’s no shame
There’s no doubt, there’s no faith
There’s no tears, there’s no pain
There’s no touch, There’s no taste

Here, I stand on this ledge
Between life, between death
With one shot, just one chance
To stand tall among men

See this note to the fallen
Is my final installment
Of life or death questions
Broken down into sonnets

For these words and these lines
Give dead hearts and cold eyes
A new hope that in time

They’ll stand tall and soar high

[SHUTYOUREYESx]

bumpeth...!

[iHATEapril]

It reminds me of stuff I wrote a few years ago, like when I first started. I think you just need to adapt what you do, it's very cliche and needs some work. Use of phrases like dead hearts and cold eyes seem to be a big turn off and are overused. It just doesn't bring anything new to the table.

[apoemtothedead]

Body: Don't read me.

Love,
SHUTYOUREYESx

[SHUTYOUREYESx]

Body: Don't read me.

Love,
SHUTYOUREYESx
You could of told me whats wrong with it instead of bashing me. Well, whatever. Your choice. =]

[SHUTYOUREYESx]

It reminds me of stuff I wrote a few years ago, like when I first started. I think you just need to adapt what you do, it's very cliche and needs some work. Use of phrases like dead hearts and cold eyes seem to be a big turn off and are overused. It just doesn't bring anything new to the table.
Thanks for the tip.
I love people like you.
Instead of being "Yea thats really good." or "You suck." You help me out and help me figure out what to do next time I want to write something. Thank You!