just another clichéd songwriter :)

[gilfers]

I get it this time baby
I'm not a fool no more
we wanted different things
so you walked out the door
it's kinda frustrating
even more then before
when I hear you're sleeping around town
'cos I couldn't be there anymore
none of you people know me
you don't know what makes me tick
you don't know if it's all the truth
or if I'm taking the mic
you don't know me from Eve
don't know what habits I wanna kick
don't know me, don't know me, don't know me
do you Nick?

I'm just another clichéd songwriter
a girl growing up to fast
a kid trying to slow the world down
so my memories here will last
I'm a person making my own mistakes
a bird afraid to fly
a reflection afraid to open up
a ghost afraid to cry

I always knew you'd let go
so it kinda feels alright
I'm just a chapter in your life
& there's no bookmark on me tonight
to you we're not worth remembering
to me we were like the night
all dark and mysterious
that always ended right
this city's getting deeper
and I don't give a damn
everybody seems to be moving on
and I'm still who I am
do you think in 25 years time
you'll all still call me Ham?
you don't know me, don't know me, don't know me
do you Sam?

I'm just another clichéd songwriter
a girl growing up to fast
a kid trying to slow the world down
so my memories here will last
I'm a person making my own mistakes
a bird afraid to fly
a reflection afraid to open up
a ghost afraid to cry

I'm breaking up stereotypes
and I'm kinda proud of that
making everybody excepted
erasing skinny and fat
everybody's socially excepted
so who cares where you're sat
but you don't know me, don't know me, don't know me
do you Matt?

[gilfers]

guuuuuys, i could really do with some thoughts on this pleaseeeee :)

[Robin.]

is this supposed to be a rap? cause it is longer than any other rap song I've heard really, you need to shorten it up a lot

i personally dont like it...

[gilfers]

no it's not a rap, but thanks :)

[TK]

I'd try to give constructive feedback, but I really don't feel like taking the time to tell you everything that's wrong with this. I don't want to be a dick, but this honestly is one of the worst things I've seen posted in this forum. Please tell me this wasn't serious.

[Robin.]

I'd try to give constructive feedback, but I really don't feel like taking the time to tell you everything that's wrong with this. I don't want to be a dick, but this honestly is one of the worst things I've seen posted in this forum. Please tell me this wasn't serious.

God, dude. I thought it was bad too, but I didnt want to be such a jerk.

She is only 17, and I guess this is her first song/poetry (have no idea).


It was pretty bad though, you gotta make an structure first and then post it back as a song cause it isnt arranged it is a total mess.

[TK]

God, dude. I thought it was bad too, but I didnt want to be such a jerk.

She is only 17, and I guess this is her first song/poetry (have no idea).


It was pretty bad though, you gotta make an structure first and then post it back as a song cause it isnt arranged it is a total mess.

I mean, I don't want to and I'm not trying to, but I really don't care if I come off as a jerk. I'm being honest.

It also doesn't matter that she's 17, do you want to wait until she gets older to tell her the truth?

To the OP: If this was serious, then you need vast improvement in several areas. Your rhymes are so blatantly forced, it's hard to read them. Nothing in here is said in an original way. You can't keep expressing the same old things in the same old ways and expect people to like it. Listen to some bands like The Weakerthans, Why?, Bright Eyes, Bob Dylan, Frightened Rabbit, etc... who write good songs with good lyrics.

[Robin.]

I mean, I don't want to and I'm not trying to, but I really don't care if I come off as a jerk. I'm being honest.

It also doesn't matter that she's 17, do you want to wait until she gets older to tell her the truth?

To the OP: If this was serious, then you need vast improvement in several areas. Your rhymes are so blatantly forced, it's hard to read them. Nothing in here is said in an original way. You can't keep expressing the same old things in the same old ways and expect people to like it. Listen to some bands like The Weakerthans, Why?, Bright Eyes, Bob Dylan, Frightened Rabbit, etc... who write good songs with good lyrics.

Yes, I got your point.

Seriously, whats going on with those names? Sam, Nick?

do you think in 25 years time
you'll all still call me Ham?

What the fuck does that even means?

You gotta express yourself so everyone can understand you, it is alright to talk in metaphors but those arent metaphors, those are things that only you can understand, so people wont ever get the point of your lyrics.

[The Personist]

Frank O'Hara is turning in his grave somewhere.

[Kirsty.com]

i agree with you all...