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View Full Version : My MASTERPIECE... Took a while PLEASE READ.


ImpulZe
05/02/06, 12:09 PM
Masterpiece
(A Broken Community)

There was a child with her head in her hand (she had no plans)
There was a father who drank himself to death (rum and Gin)
There was a mother, pregnant all the time ( No fathers)
There was a little boy whose batteries ran dry (never again)

She said if you ever leave just leave a note
The child by her side ran out of hope
She had no plans, she had no friends
So one night she put a bullet threw her head

She said if you ever leave just leave a note
The not on the dresser, didn’t talk, but spoke
Short and Sweet, a Quiet goodbye
Dear World, I am writing for the last time

There was a father on an empty stage
Fueled by rum, exploited by rage
All alone, but never looking back
His whole world was train ran off the tracks

She said if you ever leave just leave a note
The note by the lamp didn’t talk but spoke
Long and Dark an abrupt long cry
Dear world, I am writing for the Last Time

Dear everyone I’ve hurt, Dear everyone I’ve lost, I am gone , I am nothing, I am worthless, thank you for a chance, but I have lost on my game of life, continue to strive, continue to black out empty walls, continue to break the silence with cries off pain, I beg of you, just play by the rules

There was a mother housing all of her kids
A saint by day, but yet as dark as sin
Poison the veins, quick running dry
A saint by day, but still dead by night

She said if you ever leave just leave a note
The not on the fridge didn’t talk but spoke
Loving and concerned, children close your eyes
Dear World, I am writing for the last time

Children take the reins
The family name must change
Your life is not to waste
A deadly high speed chase
My children I love dear
Please have no fear
Mommies just running errands, mommies just going away for a while

There was a little boy trapped in his room
A dungeon of chains, more like a tomb
Pencil marks and blood stains line the walls
But the younger they are, the harder they fall

The starving boy deprived, unrepaired
He starred threw bars, bugs in his hair
Four walls always speak the truth
Here at Sunny Hills Mental Institute

Seen a chance, ran for his life
Took a chance, running for the light
He reached the grass and thanks the gods
Fell to his knees, ended by shotgun rounds

She said if you ever leave just leave a note
The series of life took by their own soul
Unhappiness is the closest to home
Check the notes, find a path, live to the end, it’s yours to grasp
Because in the End the Strongest is the Weakest at the same time.

TheHeretic
05/02/06, 12:13 PM
I really dig it man!! good job! is it a poem or a lyric though? really doesn't matter , but still...

ImpulZe
05/02/06, 12:15 PM
lyrical. Wrote it after a friend took his own life.

TheHeretic
05/02/06, 12:36 PM
oh I'm sorry man.......

ImpulZe
05/02/06, 12:52 PM
hey no problem.

a speedo model
05/02/06, 08:15 PM
it's good. not bad, man. keep it up.

ImpulZe
05/03/06, 10:27 AM
bump this one i want responses this one i have been writting for 3 weeks now. (on and off of course)

iHATEapril
05/03/06, 02:14 PM
It's strong at the beginning and has quite a few great one liners. There is a bit of filler I think, but overall a fantastic job and a big increase for you.

ImpulZe
05/04/06, 07:05 AM
thanks

ArTkY_
05/05/06, 03:26 PM
Good stuff. Its a little predictable and choppy at times, but its very good nonetheless.

apoemtothedead
05/05/06, 07:02 PM
Why do you feel the need to center it?

ImpulZe
05/08/06, 06:45 AM
I dont know... Trademark?