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View Full Version : Message From Selena Of One Way Letter


Rohan Kohli
05/02/06, 09:15 PM
Selena Langley of One Way Letter (http://www.myspace.com/onewayletter) recently posted the following message on the band's MySpace page:
I've learned a lot of things in the past year. Some things I personally would rather not have to know. Others, I gladly accept.

During the recording of "Where Everybody Knows Your Name", I was angry. Angry at any and everyone who stood in my way. Telling me I wasn't good enough and that I couldn't make a difference in the face of music. "There's no place for girls in rock" was a favorite line. I wanted to scream in the face of anyone who told me I wasn't good enough because of boobs... how I was born into the world. I was out to destroy anyone of any size who told me there was something I could not do..

In the past year, I have come to realize that this anger I had.. this enormous swelling of fear and jealousy of the unattainable (being accepted like the guys), wasn't changing the face of music. It was changing me.
I watched myself force away people I loved because they didn't understand my way of thinking.
I hid away backstage until time to play. I let people think I just ran merch to avoid the awkward feeling of people judging me half way across the country.
I found strangers even more frightening. They had the power to look me up and down with one glance and automatically assume I was worthless, and all at the cost of admission. Playing for them brought a sense of release, and whenever I get the occasional "I hate girl singers, but you guys are fucking awesome!" it, of course, has and always will bring a smile to my face...
I guess night after night of hearing it, it becomes unbearable to even set your microphone upright and look anyone in the eyes. They all seem to judge and ridicule without even a word. I felt like a display model in a window for anyone to mock or tease behind a glass wall; which, of course, makes it all okay.
The initial fear would subside, but I knew it would be back the very next day. That thought alone drove me mad.
I never want to be the vocalist hiding backstage until it's time to play...
But I felt myself gravitating more toward it everyday. Waiting in the comfort of the van until it's safe to come out.
Unfortunately, I don't see that fear ever completely going away.. there will always be an asshole in the crowd. Someone will always hate you because of something you have no control over be it race, sex, religion, or physical deformity. It's depressing to think about.


What is it that separates me from the guys? I get just as uncomfortable on tour as my male counterparts. I have a voice and an idea just like they do. These things used to burden me so much.
I found myself waking up grinding my teeth. I was diagnosed with "Shingles" a common (usually in older people) but extremely painful spinal infection brought on by extreme amounts of stress. I hid it well. I've never been much of a complainer when it comes to my physical ailments.
I hate showing such weakness when I'm already a minority in my profession, if you will.
Our new song "Take it Slow" is a stretch into a new territory for me, and it's about my tonsil surgery I had last summer. I found myself wagering what was the most important to me. My music is my soul! If I lost my voice, I don't know what I would do. The older you are, the harder the healing process. I should have had mine out at 5, but waited until 21. I had 9 strep throat infections before the doc told me it was either my hearing or surgery. One hurts... 9 in a row is just stupid. The fear of losing my voice or not waking up overwhelmed me when the needle went into my hand. I burst into tears at the thought that I had any remote chance of death, and I think I really upset the nurses.
I haven't done what I need to yet. There are so many things I need to say..

Once I woke up, I started saying them. To friends, to family members, and in my music.
At the pinnacle of my "revelation", I realized even farther what it meant to finish business in life.

Mark recieved a call in the Shreveport, LA Books A Million from his mom. His dad was dying. A phone call changed us all forever, and over the phone his dad pleaded with him to continue on tour.
His mom told him they were removing the ventilator that night. Mark said his goodbyes, and we played a show. I can't believe we made it through that show. The next morning Mark called home and was met by none other than his own father's voice! He made it through the night and was looking so much better. A week later while staying with Mark's sister, we decided to come back home. Things had gotten much much worse almost overnight. His father passed over, and it took a toll on all of us.

The fear of losing someone while so far away with no money for a plane ticket became a reality!
No one ever saw that coming.. we were invincible.

We've been through divorces, death of friends and family members, sickness of all kinds, days upon days of dirtiness, and so many van problems..
The one thing I have learned from all of this is that there is nothing more important than saying what you mean... and living each day like it was the only day you had to live. The only boundries you have are the ones you let others set for you. When you start letting other people tell you that you're worthless, fat, ugly, and meaningless, you let them limit what you're capable of! But you are worth so much more. Wanting to be someone you are not is a waste of the person you are.

This next album is meant to inspire you to think farther than you've been taught to think, to put value into what you know you have it in you to be. Do that, and you become limitless. I mean to make you think about what matters and inspire you to live without looking in the mirror and critiquing every square inch! Change the world by unconditioning yourself. Take back your own skin. I'm not trying to be anything other than exactly who I am right now, and this next album will reflect that. These songs are a journey for me... a story of what I'm coming out of.. reaching such a low point you start to convince yourself to become another person, and saying what you want to say instead of what you should. I'm not apologizing for it, and neither should you.

Selena

leftstranded
05/02/06, 09:29 PM
i love that girls are starting to come into rock. got sick of people saying that there is no place for women in rock. plus this band is sweet

CaliHGiloveunot
05/02/06, 09:36 PM
There are so many amazing girls out there in the scene. Its sad though that a lot of them are never heard, and that lots of times people are sexists.

Roboman
05/02/06, 09:38 PM
I love female vocalists.

writethewrxng
05/02/06, 09:57 PM
i hate to spam links on posts about other bands but i could not help but notice the support for girl singers in the post. i am in a female fronted rock group called Celestina, you can check us out at the links below. let me know what you think.

www.purevolume.com/celestina (http://www.purevolume.com/celestina)
www.myspace.com/celestinarock (http://www.myspace.com/celestinarock)

beenbrokenx
05/02/06, 10:01 PM
we should be given a chance.


i put up with that kind of shit all the time. but, i dont care. people can say what they want...i am who i am, and no guy can change that fact.

djUbilla
05/02/06, 10:04 PM
Amazing. Simply.

dontgrabtindy
05/02/06, 10:16 PM
i love paramore

shtjames
05/02/06, 10:22 PM
i love whitney houston

shynomi
05/02/06, 10:26 PM
this band is amazing!

Ratherbedead22
05/02/06, 10:59 PM
never heard of them.

SurfinPunk
05/02/06, 11:18 PM
I try and I try and yet I will try again...but I can never get into girl lead rock bands. Sure this band makes a great sound, but I guess they are not for me.

Lemieux66
05/02/06, 11:32 PM
i love that girls are starting to come into rock.


I think you might have missed riot grrl and janis joplin, just to name a few.

ishotthepilot
05/03/06, 03:10 AM
wow. that's... i don't even have words for that.

of course, it is 6 in the morning. but i now love this girl even more, not to mention the band One Way Letter which fucking rocks.

"so choke, choke on your words"
I try and I try and yet I will try again...but I can never get into girl lead rock bands. Sure this band makes a great sound, but I guess they are not for me.

the problem i have with people saying this? in the cases of Paramore and OWL, you would hardly say right away from their voices that 'oh, it's a female vocalist ew.'
so fucking many kids on here thought Hayley was a boy just singing really high/emo... weird but true. not because their voices are unfeminine, but because it was unexpected- so peoples ears make up excuses.
too many excuses. probably some nonsense about 'not having enough stage presense.' "i can't get into girl singers" why? some male singers sound more girly than Selena does, certainly. i "can't get into" CIWWAF because he's nasal [and that's the only way he sings, he's never NOT nasal and to me that's like saying he cannot sing], i think that's a valid reason more than 'the lead singer doesnt have a Y chromosome.'

and punk and rock are supposed to be breaking the mold, right? :dry:

Russ Hockenbury
05/03/06, 04:18 AM
On the subject of women in music, I know several girls that aren't into female vocalists. To me, that's the saddest thing when you can't even get support from your own gender. Maybe it's jealousy. Stupid girls like boys in bands.

updownleftright
05/03/06, 04:56 AM
i love whitney houston
wow, i see you everywhere james haha. its grant, helped you with your myspace. hope all is well : )

moistvagina
05/03/06, 05:10 AM
girls that make music rule, i have no idea how anyone could think differently....seriously.

Tony Pascarella
05/03/06, 05:51 AM
*applause*

I have so much respect for them, and specifically Selena. Wow.

zclark
05/03/06, 07:30 AM
On the subject of women in music, I know several girls that aren't into female vocalists. To me, that's the saddest thing when you can't even get support from your own gender. Maybe it's jealousy. Stupid girls like boys in bands.

i've heard the same thing from some girls i know, weird.. but i really respect this girl from this band not just for saying what she said about being a girl in a band, but for the whole message she seems to be trying to convey. very cool. plus your avatar brings me back to 8th grade, a time when i listened to lechuza at least 4 times a day for a couple months. so thank you for that.

eniac
05/03/06, 07:38 AM
the problem i have with people saying this? in the cases of Paramore and OWL, you would hardly say right away from their voices that 'oh, it's a female vocalist ew.'
so fucking many kids on here thought Hayley was a boy just singing really high/emo... weird but true. not because their voices are unfeminine, but because it was unexpected- so peoples ears make up excuses.
too many excuses. probably some nonsense about 'not having enough stage presense.' "i can't get into girl singers" why? some male singers sound more girly than Selena does, certainly. i "can't get into" CIWWAF because he's nasal [and that's the only way he sings, he's never NOT nasal and to me that's like saying he cannot sing], i think that's a valid reason more than 'the lead singer doesnt have a Y chromosome.'

and punk and rock are supposed to be breaking the mold, right? :dry:

people thought they were dudes because guys like claudio sanchez and anthony green made us realize that dudes can sing like homos.

The Revisionist
05/03/06, 07:42 AM
She is of course right that men should not display sexism toward women in bands... at the same time, this band is pretty awful.

Tony Pascarella
05/03/06, 08:12 AM
people thought they were dudes because guys like claudio sanchez and anthony green made us realize that dudes can sing like homos.Hahaha. Not sure I'd put it like that, but touche.

I love bands with female singers. Straylight Run, Paramore, and Pretty Girls Make Graves have released some great music lately.

backstagebethy
05/03/06, 08:31 AM
On the subject of women in music, I know several girls that aren't into female vocalists. To me, that's the saddest thing when you can't even get support from your own gender. Maybe it's jealousy. Stupid girls like boys in bands.
I'm not into a lot of female vocalists, and it's got nothing to do with jealousy. A lot of the times, their voices don't go with the music. I can dig things like Eisley, you know, Straylight, Yeah Yeah Yeahs...I like what I've heard of Paramore, the Forecast, the Hush Sound, there's this band called Pony Up! that I saw a couple years ago that were pretty rad, and I really dig male-female vocals, going back and forth....okay, so maybe I'm more into female vox than I realized. But I think it really depends on the type of music. I've never heard One Way Letter, but a lot of harder bands, I think girls sound bad with them. It's not that I don't support female musicians, or that I only wanna see dudes rocking out on stage or whatever, it's just that when a girl makes a big deal out of being a girl in a band...who cares, man, if you want your gender to be accepted than don't make an issue of your gender.

joz
05/03/06, 08:36 AM
I try and I try and yet I will try again...but I can never get into girl lead rock bands. Sure this band makes a great sound, but I guess they are not for me.
you must like one of them? Theres loads of decent ones.,.

Tsunami Bomb, The Gossip, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Rilo Kiley, Jenny Lewis, Metric, The Organ, The Sounds, Morningwood, Help She Can't Swim, Denali, The Forecast, Be Your Own Pet, The Epoxies, Surferosa, Partyline, Cruiserweight, The Soviettes, Partyline, Bikini Kill, erase errata, delta 5, gravy train!, smoosh, the like, the hush sound, feist, straylight run, horrorpops, agent sparks, the feverfew, le tigre, eisley, duchess says, giant drag, monsters are waiting, con amore, the cinema eye, a certain something, the rogers sisters, sleater-kinney, zolof, stars, yeah yeah yeahs, circle takes the square, paramore, tegan and sara, sahara hotnights, do me bad things, the eyeliners, ladytron, gregory and the hawk, element 101.,.

i know theres like a million i've missed and some of the bands aren't fully female led but yeah, you're bound to like one of them.

Pretty Girls Make Graves have released some great music lately.
indeed!

sparksfly
05/03/06, 08:57 AM
there are a few bands with girls singing i can get into - the hush sound, straylight run, eisley , pretty girls make graves (to a point).
i saw one way letter live once and i just didn't enjoy her voice. matter of preference i guess. keep at what youre doing though i'm sure theres people out there who do like it.

Spiffysthebest
05/03/06, 09:04 AM
This girl rules.

I hate it when people are sexist or rascist when they're joking around. That's not cool.
Event though everybody thinks they're funny, there's always at least one person who's like "what the hell?"

RegularMax
05/03/06, 09:24 AM
I want to know who is discriminating against these female vocalists? I haven't heard anything. I think they are great, but it kinda gets rediculous when these said vocalists put hardships on themselves. This is a really simple concept.....play your music, rock out, and stop plotting yourself against the world. Criticism should be any musicians fuel, you don't need to write about it in an online zine to get everyone to understand your album.

TENCopeland
05/03/06, 09:58 AM
i'm sorry that was just too long of a rant. i think female vocalists are great, i've loved them ever since The Anniversary (RIP). but she wants to "change the face of music" and feels like everyone said she couldnt because she's a girl. i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that there are so many bands around and your chances of making it are slim. i'm sorry but what i read seems like she did it to herself, which at least she admits to an extent. it's not that i don't respect her, but this is just a bit too dramatic.
maybe it's cause i've never seen this prejudice, i don't know anyone who has a problem with females in bands. most people i know totally support it.

road to joy
05/03/06, 11:05 AM
at least you're not being a total ass about it, but i think selena has the right to say what she feels just like everybody else. i thought it was a good statement, and if it was rambling, well fuck, i think everyone is entitled to one of those once in a while, especially considering the shit they've been through.

i've been listening to one way letter since they played at orlando skatepark two years ago...that was when they only had a four song demo, played to about 25 people, and drove down from atlanta for very little money to do it. and i have to say, not only was it one of the best live shows i've seen, but they were some of the coolest, nicest people i've ever talked to. i'm sure shit has changed, and i'm sure the stress is much higher now that they're signed and all...but i fully support this band. selena was awesome then and i have no doubt that she has done anything but get better since then. fuck everyone else...what's the difference between girl and boy singers? good music is good music. listen to jenny lewis, neko case, sleater-kinney, beth orton, joanna newsom...and of course one way letter. all are fucking great. gender doesn't mean a thing, even if it determines ability/inability to have a baby. which is pretty fucking crazy if you think about it, but it doesn't change the music.

we are cured
05/03/06, 11:16 AM
any singer is great when he or she sings melodies that mesh well with the music.

Downtown37
05/03/06, 11:30 AM
The way I see it...

Being a female singer in a band gives your band just as much if not more attention than other bands. Look at ALL of the bands out there, trying their hardest to "make a dent" and "get noticed"... Bands in "this scene" (which I use loosely) get twice as much coverage/attention when there is a girl singer because it gets made into an issue. I mean look at this news post as an example. People can choose if they like the music for themselves. If anything-- it just increases their exposure.

I'm not saying anything specifically in regards to this band. Of coure she can post whatever she wants and how she feels. It's important to let your feelings out.

I'm just a little tired of bands who use their "hardships" (some more serious than others, that's for sure) for promotion. I can name SO many musical acts fronted by women that are extremely popular. If you have to deal with "being judged" as a woman, it is because you are one. It's more admiriable when you just work hard and don't remind and inform everyone about it.

OveriseFan
05/03/06, 11:59 AM
You guys are totally missing the point of this letter.

I don't know if you read the whole thing, but it was simply beautiful.

I can't wait for a new album now actually, not to say that I've gotten the past one yet, because I can't find it anywhere.

But a beautifully written message, Selena.

Blake Solomon
05/03/06, 12:24 PM
What a well written letter. I really admire what she is doing and I think even guys can take something from this. She let other people dictate her life, and it got so bad she even had medical consequences! I think, especially in this "scene" we care too much what people think. We should all just do what we love and tell anyone who hates to fuck off, because if they cant support you, you dont need them.

ishotthepilot
05/03/06, 12:58 PM
On the subject of women in music, I know several girls that aren't into female vocalists. To me, that's the saddest thing when you can't even get support from your own gender. Maybe it's jealousy. Stupid girls like boys in bands.

yeah, its the strangest thing to me...

The Revisionist
05/03/06, 01:32 PM
http://www.myspace.com/thereputation
http://www.myspace.com/lemuria

VitalJ
05/03/06, 02:56 PM
i hung out with her and her band when I was on tour(tour manager) with Upper Class Trash & The Sophomore Year. She is a great person to talk to and they are very solid live. She is a very down to earth person and this bands needs more credit then they get now.

relevanceof27
05/03/06, 03:09 PM
I'm noticing that on most of these messages trying to downplay her message saying "people who use their hardships to their advantage" and such are from MALES. Who are you to question whether or not she hasn't blatantly been told by people, "you'll never make any waves in music because you're a girl," seriously? Put yourselves in someone else's shoes (it's done for you right within that very message). Grow some breasts and a vagina, get a band together and see if you're not scoffed at by sexists just because you're female.

I know this is odd coming from me, a male, but until you experience discrimination, be it gender, race or religiously affiliated, I don't think you have much of a right to criticize. It's almost as bad as saying "black people should get over racism..segregation ended in the sixties." Everyone knows (or SHOULD know) that segregation still exists in the form of ghettos and unequal opportunities, and everyone should also know that gender discrimination within the music industry is still quite prevalent.

I, for one, like One Way Letter and I get psyched any time I hear of females that are interested in making music that this "scene" appreciates. Who says it has to be only dudes that sing super high?

Sorry if I offend at all.
<end soapbox>