Making A Break For It

[a speedo model]

here's one i started last year but never finished, i stumbled upon it a couple days ago and decided to finish it. i've been writing alot of pop-punky stuff lately so this was a nice break. anyways, i'd love some feedback...


"Making A Break For It"
With every sin I choose to shed
A new man is killed and another bred
And every attempt to change the present
Is presented as a noose around my neck
“We have uncovered the truth
And all the evidence points to you”
So deny like I know you can
This has the makings of solitude
Matched only by lonely hands

If you insist on being careless (I couldn’t care less)
You bring up secrets like they were meant to share
But what brings me down brings you along
So I honestly don’t care

The fingerprints alone
Could set the record straight
“We’re going public with the evidence”
So just what do you have to say?

I’ve seen the looks and denied the charms
But I was betrayed by her gracious arms

If you insist on being careless (I couldn’t care less)
You bring up secrets like they were meant to share
But what brings me down brings you along
So I honestly don’t care

And I like the tune you sing to when saving your neck
At anyone else’s expense

And all night in my cell, I sang...
"Joliet, Joliet
Oh, how you betrayed me”
And all night in my cell, I sang
"Joliet, Joliet
Oh, how you betrayed me”
(I was aiming to make quite an impression)

[eleven-eleven]

mm, i like this. i mean, it's packing some serious emotional heat, without sounding like a lamess.

:D

good job, bum.

[apoemtothedead]

a bad model

[a speedo model]

mm, i like this. i mean, it's packing some serious emotional heat, without sounding like a lamess.

:D

good job, bum.

thanks.

[matt_rawlings]

"And I like the tune you sing to when saving your neck
At anyone else’s expense"

Great line

[iHATEapril]

It's pretty cool, but I think you can do better.

[a speedo model]

"And I like the tune you sing to when saving your neck
At anyone else’s expense"

Great line

thank you very much.

[a speedo model]

It's pretty cool, but I think you can do better.

thanks. yeah, i know i've done better.

[a speedo model]

bump

[iHATEapril]

bump

I don't even bump anymore, after you post it's basically like just waiting for Tariq and James.

[a speedo model]

I don't even bump anymore, after you post it's basically like just waiting for Tariq and James.

i know, it's sad. we need more fucking people in this forum.

[lfdfforever]

I think you write the best lyrics/poems on ap.net

[ArTkY_]

I don't even bump anymore, after you post it's basically like just waiting for Tariq and James.
hahahahahaha, its sooo true. I never caught your name by the way.

Anyways, this was a pretty decent work, you've definetly done better. Its not flawed or anything, its just that its not your best. Good job.

[ArTkY_]

I think you write the best lyrics/poems on ap.net
Ellie.

[a speedo model]

I think you write the best lyrics/poems on ap.net

wow. thank you.

[a speedo model]

hahahahahaha, its sooo true. I never caught your name by the way.

Anyways, this was a pretty decent work, you've definetly done better. Its not flawed or anything, its just that its not your best. Good job.

thanks, man.

[wyverna]

I love your work, although this wasn't as good as usual, it's still good. You're one of my favorite members in this section of the forum :thumbsup:

[a speedo model]

I love your work, although this wasn't as good as usual, it's still good. You're one of my favorite members in this section of the forum :thumbsup:

thank you very much, i'm really glad you enjoy my work. i have respect for you, so it means a lot.

[iHATEapril]

hahahahahaha, its sooo true. I never caught your name by the way.

Anyways, this was a pretty decent work, you've definetly done better. Its not flawed or anything, its just that its not your best. Good job.

Mike, and I have songs you are to go look at immediately. haha

[ArTkY_]

Mike, and I have songs you are to go look at immediately. haha
Will do.