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anon_poems
09/23/09, 03:40 PM
How could a scoundrel like me seek friends or lovers?
With a resume as impressive as mine,
I’d feel over qualified for a simple task of living life or making love.
Perhaps it’s just that I’ve met a variety of people who are all the same.
And none that weren’t.
That is,
I can find a target, hunt it down and make it mine
Much as an owl in the night, only less wise.
But I still can’t answer these simple questions:
Who will matter in the long run? It’s rhetorical, I know the answer. But I am open for suggestions
What is love, and why do I need it? I heard love brings pleasure, But I’ve only found pain.
Why doesn’t the world apply, what I see fit? There’s a great deal to loose, but even more to gain.
So if you ever are being tracked by the owl, ask him these questions as he is wise and find out
how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.



What is good and bad about this? i want to start focusing on how to be a better writer and it will never happen unless i hear some honesty.

strikefirefall
09/20/10, 10:38 AM
you're a good writer

cshadows2887
09/20/10, 11:50 PM
The end of any piece is important and the tootsie pop reference just seems silly.

crackedthesky
09/21/10, 12:03 AM
Well, out of the whole thing, two sets of lines rhymed and the rest seemed to be completley free-form, so the ones that rhymed almost seemed out of place. The end was just silly. You also have a handful of grammatical errors. Other than that, it was okay. I can go into greater detail, if you'd like.