This is titled, I swear.

[OveriseFan]

Tariq took too long to get online. April didn't help me at all. I went at it alone, and the finished product show this. However, I still kind of enjoy it, and seeing how they never help me anyway it doesn't really matter. I don't have a title... And that angel line is a joke that'll be removed...



I need to delve into some romance
I’ll call her name out from every window
Formed from fragility; Deceived by Naivety
We’ll move along fast and see how far we go

Oh and this Puerto Rican girl, goddamn!
With her short black hair and her skin so tan,
She does not adore me, I’ll admit
But I locked her in a music box
Now that is where she sits…

It's like I'm floating on air,
I swear, I swear
Just for this summer, please
Our own lovely reprise…
And I swear, I swear, I swear
This will all be over before the year.

Meet me in the middle of the night
Therefore, I can hold you tight
Do the stars still dot the sky?
Is it possible I caught her eye?
I do not even mind,
If this is all it is...

It's like I'm floating on air,
I swear, I swear
Just for this summer, please
Our own lovely reprise…
And I swear, I swear, I swear
This will all be over before the year.

I have a book of matches


To light your cigarette


But baby I’ll strike mine first
And inhale all the poison for you…
Hopefully you won’t be able
To feel the cancerous vibes

It's like I'm floating on air,
I swear, I swear
Just for this summer, please
Our own lovely reprise…
And I swear, I swear, I swear
This will all be over before the year.
I’ll jump out…
A second floor window
Just for her attention.

I’ll dive out
A second floor window
Just to get her attention…


But no one wants to see an angel cry…



It's like I'm floating on air,
I swear, I swear
Just for this summer, please
Our own lovely reprise…
And I swear, I swear, I swear
This will all be over before the year.

[iHATEapril]

Told you I loved it before, and I will say it again.

[OveriseFan]

Told you I loved it before, and I will say it again.

love it?

Wow...

[a speedo model]

i don't know...it's not bad but it's not your best. and the "locked her in a music box" line reminded me of that new thursday song. anyways, it's good. keep it up.

[OveriseFan]

i don't know...it's not bad but it's not your best. and the "locked her in a music box" line reminded me of that new thursday song. anyways, it's good. keep it up.

Which one?

I thought it might remind people of "Voicebox" by Pistolita.

[ArTkY_]

Oh and this Puerto Rican girl, goddamn!
With her short black hair and her skin so tan,
She does not adore me, I’ll admit
But I locked her in a music box
Now that is where she sits…

That's what you did with that? My God dude, you had so many possibilities. You should have waited for me to get on, I wasn't home most of the day.

It's like I'm floating on air,

Don't use that. Its not you. (the rest of that stanza is excellent though)

But baby I’ll strike mine first
And inhale all the poison for you…
Hopefully you won’t be able
To feel the cancerous vibes

That's hot sex right there. Great job with that stanza.

I’ll jump out…
A second floor window
Just for her attention.

I’ll dive out
A second floor window
Just to get her attention…

Eh... I don't know what to think about that.

I'd say about 75% of this song is good, 45% (of the good part) is excellent and the other 25% is either meh or bad. The excellent lines, however, are fucking incredible... like WOW good.

[a speedo model]

Which one?

I thought it might remind people of "Voicebox" by Pistolita.

"Telegraph Avenue Kiss" it goes something like "she's the song that you tried to sing, and the note that you couldn't hit, so you locked her up in a music box". i just thought of that when i read that line.

[OveriseFan]

"Telegraph Avenue Kiss" it goes something like "she's the song that you tried to sing, and the note that you couldn't hit, so you locked her up in a music box". i just thought of that when i read that line.

FUCK

I remember reading that somewhere now about two weeks ago.

I thought of the stanza, which in my opinion makes it better, as I hate the way it ends.

"She's that song you couldn't sing
And that note you couldn't hit
So you locked her in a music box
Now that is where she sits (or) Cause that is where she fits."

Funny how personal this is too, without even the subject I'm writing about being that personal to me.

Weird.

And Tariq, get on AIM now, because you need to help me revise this. I know the bad parts are bad.

[ArTkY_]

FUCK

I remember reading that somewhere now about two weeks ago.

I thought of the stanza, which in my opinion makes it better, as I hate the way it ends.

"She's that song you couldn't sing
And that note you couldn't hit
So you locked her in a music box
Now that is where she sits (or) Cause that is where she fits."

Funny how personal this is too, without even the subject I'm writing about being that personal to me.

Weird.

And Tariq, get on AIM now, because you need to help me revise this. I know the bad parts are bad.
I don't even get home until 4:20 kid.