'She hangs out with you to make her boyfriend jealous'

[llwilliamsll]

The situation: Known this girl for 2 years. At first, we hung out quite a bit. I was into her and I'm pretty sure she was into me. I didn't pursue her because I one day no longer was attracted to her. Not really sure why. Possibly because I
a.) Want what I can't have, and once I can have it, don't care anymore
or
b.) Something happened that changed my feelings towards her (not sure what it was though if that's the case)
So fast track to this year, she starts dating this guy. No care really, but, as I said before, want what I can't have. I also find enjoyment out of pursuing girls who are unavailable for the sake of the challenge. Shitty I know, and I haven't really succeeded that much. It's more of a game to me I suppose. Could be because that's how I got my first girlfriend.

So she's dating this guy, who she already broke up with once. 50/50 on whether I had a chance during their break. We still hang out and I enjoy our friendship. I'm not caught up on her or anything. I just enjoy being around her because I can be myself/a dick and she doesn't care. Mind you when I say 'a dick', it's not like I treat her like shit. I guess it's just more teasing and what not. Kind of like how kids are in elementary school. So at this point, I figure if something were to happen I would welcome it, and if nothing happens, then I am 100% fine with it.

The question: I hear through the grapevine that one of the purposes she hangs out with me is to make her boyfriend jealous, when he's being a douche or for no reason at all. I don't remember. It's possible that it's the only purpose she hangs out with me. I was a bit stoned and/or drunk when I was told this.

So my question is what does that even mean? I understand the obvious possible answers like 'she's just using you' or something. But why does she use me to make her boyfriend jealous, etc? I am flattered that I have that kind of capability, but if anyone can expand on it, that would be awesome.

tl;dr: Friend who is girl 'hangs out with you when she wants to make her boyfriend jealous'. What does that mean?

I have tried anal, but she wasn't having it. So I raped her. Thus, I already tried anal.

[phil19]

who has a fucking clue why girls do anything that they do

[llwilliamsll]

I was hoping the girls of AP would

[phil19]

i dont even think girls know why they do the things they do.

[bNz719]

Most obvious reason (of the many wild reasons this happens) I can think of is if they get into a fight or anything of the sort,
she would hang out with you to make her boyfriend realize that she could just as easily leave him, move onto another person, and be happy.
Thus, making him realize that right or wrong, he does not want to lose her and must therefore put the issue aside and make her happy.

[HometownHero]

i dont even think girls know why they do the things they do.
Its like you are a prophet. Quoted for fucking truth

[erikbue]

i dont even think girls know why they do the things they do.

they are all just programmed with a 'fuck-with-your-head/heart' gene

[voncorn]

Most obvious reason (of the many wild reasons this happens) I can think of is if they get into a fight or anything of the sort,
she would hang out with you to make her boyfriend realize that she could just as easily leave him, move onto another person, and be happy.
Thus, making him realize that right or wrong, he does not want to lose her and must therefore put the issue aside and make her happy.

I like this theory.

[Nick Le]

I like how you threw in the tl;dr summary and beat everyone to the anal punch. But....

anal.

[llwilliamsll]

i dont even think girls know why they do the things they do.
I was thinking the exact same thing as I posted my first response to you. Quite confusing I must say.

I like how you threw in the tl;dr summary and beat everyone to the anal punch. But....

anal.
I make sure to cover it all so as it's easy reading for you posters.

[anthonydarko]

I'll come back to this when I'm sober.

[crimsonandclovr]

ok you guys make it sound like all the girls in the world are evil and they break your heart. (just like girls think all guys are assholes... but that's another story)

i'm not really sure what you don't understand. why do girls use nice guys like you to make their boyfriend jealous? well like you said, her boyfriend is a bit of a jerk. so if he's not treating her right, she's going to run to someone else to treat her right. not because she wants someone else, but because she wants to show the guy that there are other men in the world that can take care of her. see, if she feels under appreciated, she's going to go to someone to make her feel desirable (for lack of a better term) again. it's like screaming to the guy "hey, appreciate me more!". i guess some use it as some kind of test too, just to see what the guy would do, how far he'll go or if he'll change his behavior. really, the girl just wants some kind of reassurance of how the guy feels about her. does that make sense?

i know it' dumb, but neither sex is perfect.

[timb89]

does anyone read these if there to long?

[phil19]

Its like you are a prophet. Quoted for fucking truth

thankyou good sir. you shall be the first phil-ite. spread the gospel far and wide

they are all just programmed with a 'fuck-with-your-head/heart' gene

i find it hard to disagree with this

I was thinking the exact same thing as I posted my first response to you. Quite confusing I must say.


I make sure to cover it all so as it's easy reading for you posters.

yeah it is. i honestly do hope someone can help you with this. if you find the answer, you must share it with your fellow man

[lostxmyxmind]

Some girls are just nuts and want to mess with guys in order to get what they want. Basically, they think that the only way to get things done is to be manipulative. I know girls who have to have a boyfriend in order to "function." It is messed up, but that is how they are. Basically, she is looking for validation from a guy where-ever she can find while at the same time wanting to make the other guy "see what he is missing."

Hope that helps, but half the time I don't even understand why some girls do what they do.

[ted is lying]

ok you guys make it sound like all the girls in the world are evil and they break your heart. (just like girls think all guys are assholes... but that's another story)

i'm not really sure what you don't understand. why do girls use nice guys like you to make their boyfriend jealous? well like you said, her boyfriend is a bit of a jerk. so if he's not treating her right, she's going to run to someone else to treat her right. not because she wants someone else, but because she wants to show the guy that there are other men in the world that can take care of her. see, if she feels under appreciated, she's going to go to someone to make her feel desirable (for lack of a better term) again. it's like screaming to the guy "hey, appreciate me more!". i guess some use it as some kind of test too, just to see what the guy would do, how far he'll go or if he'll change his behavior. really, the girl just wants some kind of reassurance of how the guy feels about her. does that make sense?

i know it' dumb, but neither sex is perfect.
The first female response makes all the men on the thread look like idiots.

Guy response: Is she hot? Is she hot when really drunk? Would you hit that? Would you hit that when you really drunk? Would you hit that if some crazy dude had a fun to your head? If you answered yes to any of the questions above cock slap her in the face, and tell her to stop using then which will lead to amazing awesome break up sex for her and new relationship sex for you. But the real question is what is better break up sex or getting together sex?

[kbi the crowing]

I don't think theres one right answer to this situation
ask her?

[Chancetobe]

Well if you stopped hanging out, and now she only hangs out with you to make her boyfriend jealous, it may not be so much a reflection upon the awesome power of you, so much as the fact that you are there and willing.

[jmirand1]

I didn't read the situation, but here's some timeless advice: If you can fuck her, then hang out with her and do it. Who cares if she's using you? If not, tell her to fuck off. End of story.

[richter915]

is this chick fat?

[Peter1987]

hhahaha dude are you really 22? you should know by now that women make no sense.

[1mastalker]

The situation: Known this girl for 2 years. At first, we hung out quite a bit. I was into her and I'm pretty sure she was into me. I didn't pursue her because I one day no longer was attracted to her. Not really sure why. Possibly because I
a.) Want what I can't have, and once I can have it, don't care anymore
or
b.) Something happened that changed my feelings towards her (not sure what it was though if that's the case)
So fast track to this year, she starts dating this guy. No care really, but, as I said before, want what I can't have. I also find enjoyment out of pursuing girls who are unavailable for the sake of the challenge. Shitty I know, and I haven't really succeeded that much. It's more of a game to me I suppose. Could be because that's how I got my first girlfriend.

So she's dating this guy, who she already broke up with once. 50/50 on whether I had a chance during their break. We still hang out and I enjoy our friendship. I'm not caught up on her or anything. I just enjoy being around her because I can be myself/a dick and she doesn't care. Mind you when I say 'a dick', it's not like I treat her like shit. I guess it's just more teasing and what not. Kind of like how kids are in elementary school. So at this point, I figure if something were to happen I would welcome it, and if nothing happens, then I am 100% fine with it.

The question: I hear through the grapevine that one of the purposes she hangs out with me is to make her boyfriend jealous, when he's being a douche or for no reason at all. I don't remember. It's possible that it's the only purpose she hangs out with me. I was a bit stoned and/or drunk when I was told this.

So my question is what does that even mean? I understand the obvious possible answers like 'she's just using you' or something. But why does she use me to make her boyfriend jealous, etc? I am flattered that I have that kind of capability, but if anyone can expand on it, that would be awesome.

tl;dr: Friend who is girl 'hangs out with you when she wants to make her boyfriend jealous'. What does that mean?

I have tried anal, but she wasn't having it. So I raped her. Thus, I already tried anal.
Unless she told you face to face, don't believe it.

I learned that the hard way.:-(

[Yellowcard2006]

Pics of girl?

[richter915]

Pics of girl?
agreed i need to know if this is worth my brain power.

[llwilliamsll]

ok you guys make it sound like all the girls in the world are evil and they break your heart. (just like girls think all guys are assholes... but that's another story)

i'm not really sure what you don't understand. why do girls use nice guys like you to make their boyfriend jealous? well like you said, her boyfriend is a bit of a jerk. so if he's not treating her right, she's going to run to someone else to treat her right. not because she wants someone else, but because she wants to show the guy that there are other men in the world that can take care of her. see, if she feels under appreciated, she's going to go to someone to make her feel desirable (for lack of a better term) again. it's like screaming to the guy "hey, appreciate me more!". i guess some use it as some kind of test too, just to see what the guy would do, how far he'll go or if he'll change his behavior. really, the girl just wants some kind of reassurance of how the guy feels about her. does that make sense?

i know it' dumb, but neither sex is perfect.
But I'm not exactly 'nice', unless being nice means hanging out. It's not like I take her out to dinner or would do anything to make her feel 'appreciated'. Oh well, I understand what you're saying, and that is definitely a plausible reason.

I don't think theres one right answer to this situation
ask her?
I was told by person who told me that I could not bring it up with anyone.

Well if you stopped hanging out, and now she only hangs out with you to make her boyfriend jealous, it may not be so much a reflection upon the awesome power of you, so much as the fact that you are there and willing.
The thing is we stopped hanging out for only a brief time and started hanging out before she met her boyfriend

is this chick fat?
No

hhahaha dude are you really 22? you should know by now that women make no sense.
Where do I imply that I was unaware that women make no sense?

Unless she told you face to face, don't believe it.

I learned that the hard way.:-(
feel free to explain

Pics of girl?
I would rather not. I would say she's a in the range of a 6-8.

[Yellowcard2006]

I would rather not. I would say she's a in the range of a 6-8.

Well that's understandable.

Don't lose your head over this though. Just take a step back and decide whats the best decision for you.

[llwilliamsll]

Well that's understandable.

Don't lose your head over this though. Just take a step back and decide whats the best decision for you.
100% agreed. The thing is, I'm not tied up over this or anything. I enjoy hanging out with her and our friendship. I'm just curious as to the reasoning behind the whole 'make her boyfriend jealous' thing. I'm not losing sleep or anything over it.

[jay_klinkhammer]

i'm not really sure what you don't understand. why do girls use nice guys like you to make their boyfriend jealous? well like you said, her boyfriend is a bit of a jerk. so if he's not treating her right, she's going to run to someone else to treat her right. not because she wants someone else, but because she wants to show the guy that there are other men in the world that can take care of her. see, if she feels under appreciated, she's going to go to someone to make her feel desirable (for lack of a better term) again. it's like screaming to the guy "hey, appreciate me more!". i guess some use it as some kind of test too, just to see what the guy would do, how far he'll go or if he'll change his behavior. really, the girl just wants some kind of reassurance of how the guy feels about her. does that make sense?



This broke my heart because this is probably the exact situation I'm in.

You're a genius.

[mattmatumbo]

i dont even think girls know why they do the things they do.

/thread

[crimsonandclovr]

This broke my heart because this is probably the exact situation I'm in.

You're a genius.

you being used too? i feel like AP is full of people whose life anthems should be "nice guys finish last". that's not a stab at you or anything - it's just lately i've been finding threads with people's stories like this. it's either the good guy waiting for the girl in a relationship with a jerk boyfriend, or a girl whose luck just sucks when it comes to finding decent guys.

[stuntmaniac]

wow ... im confussed .. and im sober ... but yeh, girls are rubbish like that sometimes, although guys do similar things some times i guess, my advice, find someone you like and get on with your life, stop trying to play games with girls , coz if you do that, then you really have no excuse when they play games with you.

does that make sense?

[songydarko]

She probably AT LEAST thinks you're attractive enough to make her boyfriend jealous. Then again, half the time it doesn't take much for girls to get guys jealous. Really depends. Could mean something, could mean nothing at all.

[SincerelyMe]

Sounds like she's crazy and doesn't know what she wants.

[AndrewIcex]

Tell her you are not going to stand for this, and to fuck off.

If, and only if, she is indeed doing what you suspect.