Who They Are

[ali1mg]

feedback appreciated :). also i'm only 13, is this okay for someone at that age?

Now you see me;
On this day of casualty and fiction
Hiding behind the attention of affliction
Show me the distant future that I call home
Proves to be more than lone call, a tie of disarrangement
And I'll pause to see that I'm fulfilled at base

I'll let the room temperature drop below zero to feel something new,
To enjoy my profound cause

The big hand spins twice over
Desolation is my vow of isolating the right and the wrong
Here they go again; time to hit and run
Why can't I feel my presence?
Maybe that's who they are

Now you see me;
Shoving all of this nonsense in the back of my room
I'm sitting here talking to this wall
That instructs me to go and watch them fall
A way to blockade the surreal transitions in this fabrication
Speaking of which there may be a way not to salute its call

I'll let the room temperature drop below zero to feel something new,
To enjoy my profound cause

The big hand spins twice over (Over and over)
Desolation is my vow of isolating the right and the wrong
Here they go again; time to hit and run
Why can't I feel my presence?
Maybe that's who they are

I can't see through the icy storm
Keep me locked within these words
Everything against the norm
Who cares, objective heard

[metalmauzen]

this is great for some one at the age of 13 dude but somehow I think when I read this , you use pretty difficult words only to be taken more seriously . Don't, simplicity is good 2 :-d

[ali1mg]

thanks

[wholeofheart]

got good stuff in there

[Blackend_Tearz]

Pretty good for 13 thats when i started writing not that long ago though:-)

[DaKilla623]

Very good at your age. Well done. Keep it up!

[SPooKYshtik]

too good for a 13 y/o. tone down your vocab overall well writen