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SockMonkeyRiot
05/22/06, 04:52 PM
The title is still tentative.

Slow Dull Burn

And Anna once told me "son,
you've got a lot to learn"
and that living life is easier
with a contract in your hand
so she pretends that she is doing fine
while she's just barely getting by
she says that someday she'll get this right

"but that still never stopped the thoughts
I guess I fell into a life I didn't want"

she said "so don't believe that lie you're told
that if you love something you should let it go
because having faith in what you thought was right
ain't worth the sleepless nights
and you'll toss and turn, and wonder why
you cry those tears through half shut eyes,
I guess the slow dull burn of love
just ain't for me"

well my friend Michael painted pages
from books he read, he said it never changes
the reoccuring characters
act so one dimensional
it's not the happily ever after
that gets to him, it's that no one questions
if this was meant to last

"and maybe I'll wake up feeling a little less dead
but there is still no life in this empty bed"

he said "you can try and try but it's not enough
when the books you read all turn to dust
and every word and happy ending
comes with a clause
where every mention of "I do"
is filled with divorce lawyers and IOU's
I guess the slow dull burn of love
just isn't real"

Baby, It's a half-life we're living these days

lfdfforever
05/22/06, 05:12 PM
this is pretty good

a speedo model
05/22/06, 05:56 PM
i agree, very good and i like what you're trying to say with it, too.

SockMonkeyRiot
05/22/06, 08:01 PM
Thanks, I'm recording a little "cd" in my room this summer, both this and "A Lounge Pianist in D Major" are gonna be on it, so I'll keep posting lyrics as I finish them up.

parallelism
05/22/06, 10:15 PM
I like this a lot more than the other one, which also wasn't bad. But, I've noticed you seem to "borrow" too many Bright Eyes ideas, sometimes even going as far as almost using the same lines.

It's a shame, because they're good lines mostly, but most of them would lose their flair if you changed them.

Other than that though, good work. I can see myself enjoying your future works a lot more.

SockMonkeyRiot
05/23/06, 02:50 AM
What lines did I steal this time? If I did then I didn't even notice.

parallelism
05/23/06, 03:49 AM
I don't have a ton of time to do this right now but:

"that if you love something you should let it go"

That line stands out to me as a little bit too similar to, "If you love something, give it away," for example. Not a bad piece, overall, though.

SockMonkeyRiot
05/23/06, 10:16 AM
well "If you love something give it away", "If you love something let it go", If you love something set it free", etc, is a common phrase, hence the entire point of that line.

parallelism
05/23/06, 11:31 AM
well "If you love something give it away", "If you love something let it go", If you love something set it free", etc, is a common phrase, hence the entire point of that line.

Well, I'm just giving you my honest input.
Simple as that.

What really leads me to see the similarities between the two lines is that you had so many lines similar to Bright Eyes in your last piece, too. It's just that you seem to use so many of them in such similar context.

SockMonkeyRiot
05/23/06, 01:17 PM
Well, I'm just giving you my honest input.
Simple as that.

What really leads me to see the similarities between the two lines is that you had so many lines similar to Bright Eyes in your last piece, too. It's just that you seem to use so many of them in such similar context.

I know and I thank you for that, I was just interested if I subconciously flat out stole a line or something like I thought you were saying.

parallelism
05/23/06, 08:27 PM
I know and I thank you for that, I was just interested if I subconciously flat out stole a line or something like I thought you were saying.

Oh, nope; that wasn't what I meant. It just reminds me of it a little bit too much, that's all.

SockMonkeyRiot
06/07/06, 12:35 PM
I put up a recording of this song

http://www.myspace.com/johnnymainstream

let me know what you think.

de la sympathie
06/10/06, 08:47 AM
I always love the stuff you write, and this one was no exception. Admittedly, the Bright Eyes thing the other guy pointed out is there again, but I found it for another reason - the premise of the guy Michael reminds me of 'Waste of Paint', strikingly. But your writing style is kind of - actually, alot - different than Conor Oberst's. So it's okay. But good work, once again, and your CD 'thing' would be nice to hear.