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lfdfforever
05/23/06, 08:30 PM
it needs work but i'll see what everyone thinks about it


why do after effects strike us before we're ready, its not much of a excuse so excuse me while i think of something because i know my two cents are anything but gold, you dance and play as your young, i grew up wondering how people think and how they go through and do the horrible things we see day by day, it's like they lost the sense of someone elses feelings, maybe they don't look for the thought or pass by every good choice they could've choosed, i'm tired and barley awake thinking about it, can your warmth hide my cold shoulder in the heat of a winter evening, coats hold their arms to fever based heads, is this real or am i really not real at all, picking your path along every trail couldn't be any harder so walk away and watch the windows as hazed eyes push you on your way, your way keeps you burning in another candle lit day, lord where ever you may be, i'm still right here, waiting for the truimpents to play such a sweet song and for the choir to sing "god has come back for us, his childern, amen in your name" amen in the grace of god

a speedo model
05/24/06, 07:53 AM
i like it. it shows definite improvement. you've got a lot of really good lines in it. but it is still a little choppy at times, the flows off some places. sometimes, it feels like lines just kinda thrown together. but it's definitely better then your previous works. keep it up.

lfdfforever
05/24/06, 12:05 PM
i like it. it shows definite improvement. you've got a lot of really good lines in it. but it is still a little choppy at times, the flows off some places. sometimes, it feels like lines just kinda thrown together. but it's definitely better then your previous works. keep it up. thanks man