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floz2323
05/27/06, 08:03 AM
Rip Tides

You dive in before you know how deep for fast the water goes
and the current could sweep you away
you're a note in a bottle on the crest of a wave
and your message is lost on a foreign shore
if you’re never found what did you do it for?

Enclosed inside your green glass shell
the bottle has turned to your jail cell
and trapped you'll stay until the day
someone happens upon you you'll just have to pray
that they open it up and pull you out
they'll ask you what it was you were writing about....

Those years ago;
when you composed that poem and made your decision to sail from home;
with no direction except away from there,
your vessel was launched on a wave and a prayer,
what did you mean? what is your meaning?
Your meaningful I know,
But your written in a code...that I cant comprehend

FScott
05/28/06, 12:11 PM
I definetly think this is good but it seems you end it to soon

a speedo model
05/30/06, 01:32 PM
great stuff. i really enjoyed it. i like it alot, keep it up. you've got talent.

floz2323
05/31/06, 07:49 PM
I definetly think this is good but it seems you end it to soon
Hey, thanks for reading. How do you recomend that I go about extending it? I appreciate the input.