Working on yourself.

[Bishop]

Hey PL,

So my first long term girlfriend and I broke up over a month ago. I've been all emo and stuff over it because we both did really dumb things in the relationship and she told me she has no interest in ever dating me again.

So instead of getting even more depressed about it I've decided to work on myself. I've mostly been learning how to cook new things, trying to find a therapist so I can talk about some of my issues with anger, abandonment and bitterness I hold against those that have hurt me in the past (which was the major downfall of my relationship), also looking to take some Krav Maga classes to learn how to fight and also getting back into college for Spring semester.


Anybody else go through a bad situation and instead of just letting it defeat them or hold them back, used it as a force for positive change and what kind of things did you do to make yourself into a better person?

[KidRobot]

Good stuff dude.

Keep your head up, it'll be far in the past pretty quickly.

[sleepyseanzzz]

i got dumped right before college by my high school girlfriend, and had a very tough time adjusting to college. i went to school with the same kids pretty much from kindergarten through senior year of high school so being split up for the first time was very tough at first. also being 2 and a half hours away from home and being a straight edge virgin didn't help me find many friends. i ended up gaining a lot of weight first semester because i was emo and stayed in bed all day. i decided it was time to change myself for the better so spring semester i joined the wrestling team (i wrestled in high school and didnt want to cut weight in college which is why i didn't join at first) and i made a bunch of new friends especially a lot of my older teammates. i also worked out like mad in addition to wrestling 5 days a week. i met a girl, ended up losing my vcard to her but i regret it because it ended very soon after.....VERY soon. that was a minor setback but it only motivated me more to keep working on myself and id find someone that would get me.

freshman year ended, and my first weekend back home i got a call from an old friend (who was a girl ive known since 1994) who invited me and my buddy from high school to see a movie with her and her friend (they were coworkers but i didnt know her too well, we hung out once when i was home for spring break)....anyways after the movie we all came back and my buddy and the girl ive known forever left, leaving me with this girl ive known of for a bit but never thought id have a chance with. she stayed and we talked and hit it off. ended up hanging out some more times. we have so much fun together and a year and a half later im very happy about the way things happened and the depressive state i went through because it made me much stronger in the long run and i couldnt be any happier.


you are doing the right thing my friend. keep it up, trust me, it will work out in your favor.

[Waldorf]

Nothing's worth being too depressed over.

[denissuxx]

Stay strong

[loudpunkguitar]

you are on the right track man, keep going!

[pshh]

just try to find a lesson in what it all meant, significant value you had. if you find something out about yourself that you can change for the betterment of your future then in essence it was a positive outcome despite the heartbreak, waste of money on pointless gifts, and sex.

[4N6 science]

I just broke up with my long term girlfriend too. I think you're doing all the right things. I've been doing some work on myself and reevaluating the way I go about things.

[bladerdude360]

Way to go, this is definitely good for you. It sucks that you had such a rough breakup, but identifying issues that you could work on and facing them head on will be very beneficial. Good luck to you.

[iAMhollyood315]

Life is a test, learn to persevere and you will find happiness. i've been in this situation and many others and it all turned out for the better.

[argg_xo]

I went back to school and got new friends, so far so good!

[billyboatkid]

I started working out and lost 20 pounds. I found comfort in getting in shape again. It's helped a lot.

Hope things go better for you buddy. Just stay strong.

[fightinirish217]

Kudos to the OP, hope it works out.

[kbi the crowing]

Hey PL,

So my first long term girlfriend and I broke up over a month ago. I've been all emo and stuff over it because we both did really dumb things in the relationship and she told me she has no interest in ever dating me again.

So instead of getting even more depressed about it I've decided to work on myself. I've mostly been learning how to cook new things, trying to find a therapist so I can talk about some of my issues with anger, abandonment and bitterness I hold against those that have hurt me in the past (which was the major downfall of my relationship), also looking to take some Krav Maga classes to learn how to fight and also getting back into college for Spring semester.


Anybody else go through a bad situation and instead of just letting it defeat them or hold them back, used it as a force for positive change and what kind of things did you do to make yourself into a better person?

fuckin' respect dude, good for you getting back on your feet.
I have a story of a rough time like that, but I think it's too unrelated to help you too much and I think you're going on the absolute right path, too.

[anamericangod]

P90x

[inasaltwateroom]

P90x

bahahaha. i lol'd



but seriosuly guys. insanity > p90x

[anamericangod]

bahahaha. i lol'd



but seriosuly guys. insanity > p90x

If you go through the P90x program, you won't have the time or energy to focus on girl problems, not to mention you'll probably be able to pull more girls when you're done with it.

Now if only I had the motivation to actually start it.

[Sventhegreat]

If you go through the P90x program, you won't have the time or energy to focus on girl problems, not to mention you'll probably be able to pull more girls when you're done with it.

Now if only I had the motivation to actually start it.

I tried it out for a while, it was fricken intense.

[mikeXXXnj]

i've been there for awhile. my ex dumped me, got a restraining order on me for absolutely no reason, and started dating this guy she had been cheating on me with. We had been dating for 3 years, i wanted to marry her. and when it ended i couldn't see myself ever getting back on my feet. but i decided to get over this hurdle.
I went to the gym and dropped 30 lbs, i started dressing nicer. I stoped being such an introvert. i can't say i'm completely back to where i was when i was happy with her, but i'm getting there and i'm pretty happy with my self image more than i was when i was with her

[Miketheunicycle]

i also just came out of a long term relationship. lasted from grade 7 up until september of this year, now in grade 12. the reason being i went to my dads this past summer, who lives in saskatchewan, i live in ontario. basically while i was gone for only 2 months she had decided to find someone new. lied to my about it when i got back home, and yeah... shitty situation. i've handled it a lot better than i originally thought i would. gave me a good chance to really set back and think about what i want. and coming out of that relationship just really opened my eyes and i feel better emotionally, physically, and mentally then i ever have. going to the gym quite often, unicycle way more often than i was. it was a learning experience for sure.

[TheLoyalVox]

P90x

Legit. Went through it last year. Best thing I ever did.

[TheLoyalVox]

i've been there for awhile. my ex dumped me, got a restraining order on me for absolutely no reason, and started dating this guy she had been cheating on me with. We had been dating for 3 years, i wanted to marry her. and when it ended i couldn't see myself ever getting back on my feet. but i decided to get over this hurdle.
I went to the gym and dropped 30 lbs, i started dressing nicer. I stoped being such an introvert. i can't say i'm completely back to where i was when i was happy with her, but i'm getting there and i'm pretty happy with my self image more than i was when i was with her


I'm right there with you. Dated this girl for a long time, basically wanted to spend my life with her, then she cheated on me with her ex... so I started lifting 5 days a week for the 9 months since... and dropped 4 inches on my waist and gained 30 pounds. Nothing better than making them realize they made a big mistake.

[theguilt engine]

surf 4chan for 8 hours a day.

[Waldorf]

surf 4chan for 8 hours a day.

Nothing better than that to help you build a sense of maturity and a strong moral backboner.

[barkingincision]

ive had my fair share of ordeals and tribulations
stay the course and stay up dude

[Waldorf]

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
One more son
If you can hold on
If you can hold on, hold on
I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know - no you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of men
I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
...

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the blackburner
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and out, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

[Hamlet]

Keep it up dude.

My turning point was the last girl I fell in love with, and she never wanted me back. That was early this year. Looking back, I can't believe how much pointless time I spent pining for her. But it was probably the best thing that could've happened to me because it got me to the point where I wanted to change for the better.

I'm done with being single and lonely. I said to myself, fuck this - if I keep doing what I'm doing, I'm going to keep getting what I'm getting. If I want to get a girlfriend, I first have to become the kind of guy that girls want.

This year I took a break from chasing my career goals. I've been doing shows and auditions so often that I've let myself fall behind in other areas. First, I have to define myself as an adult. So I've been working on my independence, and my look.

I replaced my glasses with contact lenses, they always made me look geeky, and I don't ever want to give off that vibe again.

I got braces early last year, I should've got them years ago in high school, but luckily it's almost over - they come off at the end of November. After that I'm going to get my teeth whitened.

Now I'm working full time. It's an admin job in an office, not what I want to do for a living, but the money is consistent and the people make it a lot better than the drudgery that it could have been.

I got rid of almost all the old clothes I have from high school, they're baggy and look terrible and I hate wearing them. I've been getting into fashion and style, and upgrading my wardrobe, wearing clothes that actually fit, colours that work, and proportions that flatter.

I grew my hair out over the holidays last year and have been getting it cut at a salon. It's amazing how a new haircut can make you feel like a new person.

I'm saving up for my own car, I'm about a third of the way there... I'd be closer if I didn't get distracted by Windows 7 and upgrading the computer...

At the end of the day it's all about confidence. Do whatever you can to maximise it, whether it's going to the gym and bulking up, getting some new threads, moving out, getting a car, talking to random strangers, learning an instrument, or whatever.

Become the guy of your dreams, and the girls will come.

[zonto]

Keep it up dude. Become the guy of your dreams, and the girls will cum.

Fix'dz

[zonto]

But in all seriousness, if you aren't ok being single and completely happy then you shouldn't be in a relationship. The only types of relationships that last are when both parties are completely self-sustaining and independent, but together they enhance each other. If you can't function on your own and be someone that you're happy looking at in the mirror, then take care of that first (some of the listings here are means to that end.)

[&IllBeTheReason]

That's so cool. Very few people can take charge of their life like that after a bad experience.

[Jake Denning]

dont do Krav Maga though, do Kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

[InvisibleFellon]

i'm in the process of working on myself right now. i reallllly need a car though

[phil19]

when my gf broke up with me a few months ago i decided to loose some weight. been running and stuff and eating better and its been working. feel good about that. but still get depressed about being alone and not having anyone

[papa_smurf]

Hey PL,

So my first long term girlfriend and I broke up over a month ago. I've been all emo and stuff over it because we both did really dumb things in the relationship and she told me she has no interest in ever dating me again.

So instead of getting even more depressed about it I've decided to work on myself. I've mostly been learning how to cook new things, trying to find a therapist so I can talk about some of my issues with anger, abandonment and bitterness I hold against those that have hurt me in the past (which was the major downfall of my relationship), also looking to take some Krav Maga classes to learn how to fight and also getting back into college for Spring semester.


Anybody else go through a bad situation and instead of just letting it defeat them or hold them back, used it as a force for positive change and what kind of things did you do to make yourself into a better person?

Keep it up dude.

My turning point was the last girl I fell in love with, and she never wanted me back. That was early this year. Looking back, I can't believe how much pointless time I spent pining for her. But it was probably the best thing that could've happened to me because it got me to the point where I wanted to change for the better.

I'm done with being single and lonely. I said to myself, fuck this - if I keep doing what I'm doing, I'm going to keep getting what I'm getting. If I want to get a girlfriend, I first have to become the kind of guy that girls want.

This year I took a break from chasing my career goals. I've been doing shows and auditions so often that I've let myself fall behind in other areas. First, I have to define myself as an adult. So I've been working on my independence, and my look.

I replaced my glasses with contact lenses, they always made me look geeky, and I don't ever want to give off that vibe again.

I got braces early last year, I should've got them years ago in high school, but luckily it's almost over - they come off at the end of November. After that I'm going to get my teeth whitened.

Now I'm working full time. It's an admin job in an office, not what I want to do for a living, but the money is consistent and the people make it a lot better than the drudgery that it could have been.

I got rid of almost all the old clothes I have from high school, they're baggy and look terrible and I hate wearing them. I've been getting into fashion and style, and upgrading my wardrobe, wearing clothes that actually fit, colours that work, and proportions that flatter.

I grew my hair out over the holidays last year and have been getting it cut at a salon. It's amazing how a new haircut can make you feel like a new person.

I'm saving up for my own car, I'm about a third of the way there... I'd be closer if I didn't get distracted by Windows 7 and upgrading the computer...

At the end of the day it's all about confidence. Do whatever you can to maximise it, whether it's going to the gym and bulking up, getting some new threads, moving out, getting a car, talking to random strangers, learning an instrument, or whatever.

Become the guy of your dreams, and the girls will come.


You guys are dweebs
Going about this the whole wrong way!
First off, you're both obviously douchebags and geeks.
But, fuck it, be yourself.
Don't just sell out on yourself just to get some skank ass bitches.
fuck that!
If you are true to yourself, you'll have the ladies.

I've never had any problem getting chicks....everytime i'm single for like a week, I have the next bitch already loaded up and ready.
I don't even get any time to think about myself, and it's fucked my whole life up!
Fuck bitches man....:hitler:

[rollerman4221]

Im glad that I went through my emo/depression over a girl in highschool so college is so much easier now

[Bishop]

You guys are dweebs
Going about this the whole wrong way!
First off, you're both obviously douchebags and geeks.
But, fuck it, be yourself.
Don't just sell out on yourself just to get some skank ass bitches.
fuck that!
If you are true to yourself, you'll have the ladies.

I've never had any problem getting chicks....everytime i'm single for like a week, I have the next bitch already loaded up and ready.
I don't even get any time to think about myself, and it's fucked my whole life up!
Fuck bitches man....:hitler:


I doubt you are being serious but on that off chance that you are, what in particular makes me a douchebag?

Is it the going back to school to get an education to get ahead in life? Maybe it's the fact that I actually enjoy cooking and want to get better at it? Oh no wait, maybe it's the fact that I want to deal with emotional problems that seem to creep up on me at different points in my life and instead of just ignoring them face up to them?

[Reaver]

I started working out and lost 20 pounds. I found comfort in getting in shape again. It's helped a lot.

Hope things go better for you buddy. Just stay strong.

sounds like your gf dumped you for becoming fat.

jk.

[overdrive91]

This happened and i learnt the art of drinking immensely.

[theguilt engine]

Nothing better than that to help you build a sense of maturity and a strong moral backboner.
exactly.

[Truman122]

The title of this thread mislead me a little...

[Waldorf]

As4ErbHaNws

[Corgkowznor]

dont do Krav Maga though, do Kickboxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

False, Krav Maga is the shit...I'm in the USCG and lots of us do it.

[Corgkowznor]

This happened and i learnt the art of drinking immensely.

Cold, light, and domestic beer can cure lots of problems.

[zion the lion]

I took up smoking and found religion.

[AlkalineAshes]

You guys are dweebs
Going about this the whole wrong way!
First off, you're both obviously douchebags and geeks.
But, fuck it, be yourself.
Don't just sell out on yourself just to get some skank ass bitches.
fuck that!
If you are true to yourself, you'll have the ladies.

I've never had any problem getting chicks....everytime i'm single for like a week, I have the next bitch already loaded up and ready.
I don't even get any time to think about myself, and it's fucked my whole life up!
Fuck bitches man....:hitler:
as you can see, and ive learned, the less thinking, usually the better and easier life is

[caress me down]

Yoga helped me a lot. I dunno if you'll be into that though.

I love your avatar. That was one of my favorite books as a little kid and I still love reading it

[overdrive91]

Cold, light, and domestic beer can cure lots of problems.

Alcohol solves almost everything.