No name as of yet

[wyverna]

falling out of love with saviours and saints
this guilty feeling makes me want to throw up my conscience
there's nothing wrong with me if you don't count everything
it was meant to be two's company but that's just because i get lost in a crowd
i don't know who i am anymore but i'm still more myself than i could ever want to be
you're trouble with a capital T but i want you with a capital L
underrated, over looked, we all know that i'm just fucked up
i'd love to say i'm my own worst enemy but that title belongs only to you
i don't think anyone could stop this hurting inside
i know i'll have to deal with this
have no feeling for this

[xllirikx]

shouldn't songs have a central thesis. I have no idea what thats about.

[crit]

this is pretty good. i like this line a lot:

this guilty feeling makes me want to throw up my conscience

[wyverna]

shouldn't songs have a central thesis. I have no idea what thats about.

It's about wanting to be with someone that you know you shouldn't, because you'll only end up hurting them. It's about a feeling when you know nothing's going to go right. Sorry if it wasn't clear, it's hard to explain.

this is pretty good. i like this line a lot:

thanks, that's one of my favorites too :)

[matt_rawlings]

As a poem/thing I really like it and it works really well.

However, I have no idea how it could translate into a song

[wyverna]

As a poem/thing I really like it and it works really well.

However, I have no idea how it could translate into a song

Yeah, it's meant to be a poem :) I can't write songs

[xllirikx]

It's about wanting to be with someone that you know you shouldn't, because you'll only end up hurting them. It's about a feeling when you know nothing's going to go right. Sorry if it wasn't clear, it's hard to explain.



thanks, that's one of my favorites too :)

it being hard to explain is understandable, but for anyone to like it, it really should be more clear.

[OveriseFan]

Um, if you couldn't figure out what that meant... you really need to read more.

srsly.

Anyway, I enjoyed this, but couldn't help, as I progressed, feeling like it's a bunch of clever one-liners with some filler thrown in. Take this as you will but it's kind of like Cute is What We Aim For... clever as fuck, but it's got nothing more to it. Like eating dessert for every course of the meal. You know what I mean? Just my two cents on it.

Very good though, don't get me wrong.

[wyverna]

Um, if you couldn't figure out what that meant... you really need to read more.

srsly.

Anyway, I enjoyed this, but couldn't help, as I progressed, feeling like it's a bunch of clever one-liners with some filler thrown in. Take this as you will but it's kind of like Cute is What We Aim For... clever as fuck, but it's got nothing more to it. Like eating dessert for every course of the meal. You know what I mean? Just my two cents on it.

Very good though, don't get me wrong.

Yeah, I actually know exactly what you mean as it was what I was worried about myself. I'm really glad you said that and now I have a better idea of what I need to work on. Thanks a lot :)

[OveriseFan]

Yeah, I actually know exactly what you mean as it was what I was worried about myself. I'm really glad you said that and now I have a better idea of what I need to work on. Thanks a lot :)

Haha, I tried to put it in a way to make you understand. It was hard to explain what I meant with that.

Don't get me wrong, you have wit better than any of these "emo" bands around, but you need to harness it better and use it more sparingly or else it's like an overload and you don't enjoy it as much. Old TBS did it perfectly, in my opinion.

[wyverna]

Haha, I tried to put it in a way to make you understand. It was hard to explain what I meant with that.

Don't get me wrong, you have wit better than any of these "emo" bands around, but you need to harness it better and use it more sparingly or else it's like an overload and you don't enjoy it as much. Old TBS did it perfectly, in my opinion.

That really helps. I do know what you meant, thanks :) I'll definitely keep that in mind, I always like your criticism

[OveriseFan]

Your avatar is amazing.

[a speedo model]

i really enjoyed it, especially the opening line. good job.