Help/Advice

[saveferris]

On the front news page today I saw that The Syndicate is look for synners. People to pass out flyers, talk to clients, etc. This is something i'm extremely interested in doing. At this point I have no job and won't be able to get one til the end of January in my town. My sister lives in Fairfax which is about ten minutes outside of D.C. My plan was to apply to the one in D.C. and room with my sister for a while. The only thing is I don't know how i'm gonna convince my parents to let me do this. How should I go about asking them? And what could I say to convince them to let me do this?

[Kassie09]

Is your age of 21 a lie?
If not, you're 21. Not 12..do it anyway? As long as your sister is gonna give you a place to stay, sounds like you're good.

[saveferris]

Is your age of 21 a lie?
If not, you're 21. Not 12..do it anyway? As long as your sister is gonna give you a place to stay, sounds like you're good.
Yes i'm really 21. My parents are really protective when it comes to things like this. I should just be like fuck it and do it anyways but that wouldn't end up too well. They just want the best for me but at this point they should just let me do it regardless. I'm positive my sister would be more than happy to let me stay at her place.

[bladerdude360]

You're an adult. You can make your own decisions.

[saveferris]

You're an adult. You can make your own decisions.
You'd think that wouldn't you? Playing the "I'm an adult I should be able to do whatever" card rarely works. I always get some kind of comeback from my parents that can't be contested. It's worth a shot to give them the i'm an adult comment. It couldn't hurt.

[Christrings]

You're an adult. You can make your own decisions.

This, all that needs to be said really.

[saveferris]

My responsibility has been lacking recently. And for some reason they don't want me to do things like this. I'm kind of nervous to bring it up because I don't wanna get shot down and then be frustrated.

[saveferris]

This, all that needs to be said really.
You're right. But you don't really know my parents. I'm still under their roof so they kind of control my decisions sometimes. It's been hard to keep a job around here unless you have some serious connections. That being the reason I still live at home. I feel like this could be my chance to show them some resposibility and break out of the house.

[terror_91]

Stop using your parents as an excuse. Just ask your sister. Tell your parents you are leaving and that they can't change your mind. Say "I am an adult now and I feel that I need to being to make my own way in the world. I feel that this is a great opportunity to further myself as a responsible adult." They can't argue with that because that is gold right there. If they try to argue, leave and do it anyways.

[saveferris]

Stop using your parents as an excuse. Just ask your sister. Tell your parents you are leaving and that they can't change your mind. Say "I am an adult now and I feel that I need to being to make my own way in the world. I feel that this is a great opportunity to further myself as a responsible adult." They can't argue with that because that is gold right there. If they try to argue, leave and do it anyways.
They'll find a way to argue with that. I could see them making a reasonable argument.

[saveferris]

I should mention that they have a lot of legitimate things to worry about if I go out on my own. But I feel like if I stay with my sister they'll consider it. Seeing as my sister is way more responsible than i'll ever be and will keep an eye on me.

[terror_91]

They'll find a way to argue with that. I could see them making a reasonable argument.
So the conclusion I have come to is that you are a complete and utter pussy. You have already defeated yourself. If you've not got the balls to even fucking ask, then what is the point of this thread?

[saveferris]

So the conclusion I have come to is that you are a complete and utter pussy. You have already defeated yourself. If you've not got the balls to even fucking ask, then what is the point of this thread?
Considering that you don't know me at all i'm gonna take that with a grain of salt and also add that i'm taking all of this advice into consideration. The more and more I think about it I think that it could work. There is a lot holding me back though. It has nothing to do with whether I have a lack of balls or not. But readying myself and see if there is a good tactic to bring this up. I'm not just gonna improvise this.

[saveferris]

The point of this thread was to see how many people had different things to say. Maybe there's a different angle I could use that I haven't tried.

[Smash Adams]

I should mention that they have a lot of legitimate things to worry about if I go out on my own. But I feel like if I stay with my sister they'll consider it. Seeing as my sister is way more responsible than i'll ever be and will keep an eye on me.
I mean you're not gonna be in DC proper, if that was the case I could understand, is Fairfax a nice area?

[brokenwings]

haha wow, this is funny

[saveferris]

haha wow, this is funny
Oh yeah it's hilarious. A kid who sees the oppurtunity to be able to do what he's wanted to do since high school but might not be able to because of medical problems and the disapproval (understandable) of his parents. I couldn't think of anything funnier. You must be a Dane Cook/Carlos Mencia fan.

[saveferris]

I mean you're not gonna be in DC proper, if that was the case I could understand, is Fairfax a nice area?
Fairfax is a pretty nice area. I actually grew up around there but haven't experienced it from a working standpoint. It's also a tough area to drive in especially considering my driving experience has been limited to the small town I live in now. Other than that the town is very progressive and busy.

[4N6 science]

Fairfax is not a tough place to drive. I've lived there for 20 years.

Dude you're a legal adult. Tell, don't ask, your parents that you're leaving to work. Stop being a pussy.

[terror_91]

Considering that you don't know me at all i'm gonna take that with a grain of salt and also add that i'm taking all of this advice into consideration. The more and more I think about it I think that it could work. There is a lot holding me back though. It has nothing to do with whether I have a lack of balls or not. But readying myself and see if there is a good tactic to bring this up. I'm not just gonna improvise this.
Congratulations, you are taking complete strangers' advice with a pinch of salt. A big step forward.

There is nothing holding you back other than yourself. You are an adult and you can do what you want. Your parents aren't going to cut you off and even if they do, you need to move on.

I'm not saying improvise it, I am saying do it. You are just putting it off.

[saveferris]

Fairfax is not a tough place to drive. I've lived there for 20 years.

Dude you're a legal adult. Tell, don't ask, your parents that you're leaving to work. Stop being a pussy.

Again with the pussy comment. I'm not afraid to ask. I just want a real legitimate argument to use when I do ask. I've asked for things like this before and i've been turned down for good reasons. And of course you don't think it's tough to drive in Fairfax if you've been there for 20 years. I don't have much driving experience in a busy traffic filled area like Fairfax. There is absolutely no traffic in Wilson.

[brokenwings]

Oh yeah it's hilarious. A kid who sees the oppurtunity to be able to do what he's wanted to do since high school but might not be able to because of medical problems and the disapproval (understandable) of his parents. I couldn't think of anything funnier. You must be a Dane Cook/Carlos Mencia fan.
exactly. i'm happy we both had a nice laugh

[saveferris]

Congratulations, you are taking complete strangers' advice with a pinch of salt. A big step forward.

There is nothing holding you back other than yourself. You are an adult and you can do what you want. Your parents aren't going to cut you off and even if they do, you need to move on.

I'm not saying improvise it, I am saying do it. You are just putting it off.
I'm taking the fact that you called me a pussy with a grain of salt. I'm not really putting it off considering I just found out about this syndicate thing an hour ago and planned to ask this evening. There are disclosed reasons of why my parents could say no. Yes i'm an adult. Yes I should be able to do what I want. But the circumstances are kind of against me on this.

[saveferris]

exactly. i'm happy we both had a nice laugh
Who said I was laughing?

[4N6 science]

Fairfax is not a tough place to drive. I've lived there for 20 years.

Dude you're a legal adult. Tell, don't ask, your parents that you're leaving to work. Stop being a pussy.
Again with the pussy comment. I'm not afraid to ask. I just want a real legitimate argument to use when I do ask. I've asked for things like this before and i've been turned down for good reasons. And of course you don't think it's tough to drive in Fairfax if you've been there for 20 years. I don't have much driving experience in a busy traffic filled area like Fairfax. There is absolutely no traffic in Wilson.


Look. You're 21. You're argument is you're an adult and looking for work. How can any parent argue with that?

[saveferris]

[quote=saveferris;57512141]


Look. You're 21. You're argument is you're an adult and looking for work. How can any parent argue with that?
There's a few reasons.
1. I haven't been to responsible in the past when left on my own.
2. I take medicine everyday and the worry about me not taking it one day.
3. The whole driving thing is more there worry than mine.

[4N6 science]

There's a few reasons.
1. I haven't been to responsible in the past when left on my own.
2. I take medicine everyday and the worry about me not taking it one day.
3. The whole driving thing is more there worry than mine.

Well I don't know what to tell you. You better be able to take care of yourself and your parents need to back down a bit. Otherwise you will not make it in this world.

[saveferris]

[quote=saveferris;57512502]

Well I don't know what to tell you. You better be able to take care of yourself and your parents need to back down a bit. Otherwise you will not make it in this world.
There it is! I know you weren't trying but that might be something to bring up to them while asking. I agree with your statement 100% and have known this for a while i've just never really had a chance to bring it up.

[terror_91]

[quote=4N6 science;57512322]
There's a few reasons.
1. I haven't been to responsible in the past when left on my own.
2. I take medicine everyday and the worry about me not taking it one day.
3. The whole driving thing is more there worry than mine.
How big did you fuck up if you can't be trusted to take medicine once a day?
Driving being an issue? Tell your parents to stop being so protective because you are going to be completely dependant on them if this continues. How are you meant to learn driving in traffic if you aren't allowed in traffic?
If these are the arguments that your parents are going to use then just walk out and enjoy your new life.

[4N6 science]

[quote=4N6 science;57512572]
There it is! I know you weren't trying but that might be something to bring up to them while asking. I agree with your statement 100% and have known this for a while i've just never really had a chance to bring it up.

Good luck with that. I hope you get the freedom you are seeking.

[saveferris]

[quote=saveferris;57512502]
How big did you fuck up if you can't be trusted to take medicine once a day?
Driving being an issue? Tell your parents to stop being so protective because you are going to be completely dependant on them if this continues. How are you meant to learn driving in traffic if you aren't allowed in traffic?
If these are the arguments that your parents are going to use then just walk out and enjoy your new life.
I have to take meds everyday at a certain time or else they're useless. I have to take three a day or else my behavior will shift back and forth (bi polar disorder) this has happened a few times when I forgot to take it. I agree with the last two sentences and have asked many times to be able to go to Raleigh or somewhere with heavy traffic. Walking out is easier said then done.

[terror_91]

I have to take meds everyday at a certain time or else they're useless. I have to take three a day or else my behavior will shift back and forth (bi polar disorder) this has happened a few times when I forgot to take it. I agree with the last two sentences and have asked many times to be able to go to Raleigh or somewhere with heavy traffic. Walking out is easier said then done.
Why ask to go drive in traffic? Just do it. Go and drive by yourself in traffic. It is no different to other driving.
If you can't take pills at a certain time of day, then can you even live by yourself? I know this is a complete change of tune but if you have issues with setting an alarm 3 times a day, then you need to very seriously consider moving out. This could be well out of your maturity levels.

[saveferris]

Why ask to go drive in traffic? Just do it. Go and drive by yourself in traffic. It is no different to other driving.
If you can't take pills at a certain time of day, then can you even live by yourself? I know this is a complete change of tune but if you have issues with setting an alarm 3 times a day, then you need to very seriously consider moving out. This could be well out of your maturity levels.
I've driven in traffic plenty of times but they wanna see it. And the pills are all taken at once in the morning. Taking three pills a day gets sickening and actually harder to do with time. You'd be surprised. It becomes a hassle. 99% of the time I take them when I need to but there's always a chance that I miss them and something werid happens. I can easily live by myself it's just harder to prove and talk my parents into doing. Hence the point of this thread to see if anyone has been in this similar situation and can offer up advice on how to go about this.

[saveferris]

It's not a question of me taking them everyday. Which is easy to do. But the fact that something weird could happen if by some off chance I don't take them. I'm an extremely mature adult. I know it. My friends know it. It's hard to convince your parents that. I'm sure i'm not the only one with this problem.

[saveferris]

I think i've gotten all the advice I need. Thanks to all of you who took it seriously and tried to give some instruction. I really appreciate it. I think I can swing this one if I take in all the advice given. There's some points that were made that I can use. In conclusion. I'm not a pussy. I'm not immature. My parents are not overprotective (quite the opposite actually) and I am ready to go out in the world and live by myself. I guess my parents scrutinize all of my mistakes and throw them back in my face when I want to do things like this. We have different plans. They're nice people. Very nice people and great parents. I think they just worry about me given my past and my medical condition. Wouldn't you worry about your kid if you didn't think he/she was ready? In the end my parents get the last word and I have to respect that because I have complete trust in them They've never steered me wrong. I hope if I say the right things and come up with good reasons they'll let me go.

[terror_91]

I've driven in traffic plenty of times but they wanna see it. And the pills are all taken at once in the morning. Taking three pills a day gets sickening and actually harder to do with time. You'd be surprised. It becomes a hassle. 99% of the time I take them when I need to but there's always a chance that I miss them and something werid happens. I can easily live by myself it's just harder to prove and talk my parents into doing. Hence the point of this thread to see if anyone has been in this similar situation and can offer up advice on how to go about this.
Go show them then. You can't complain about them not letting you drive because you haven't shown them.
There is always a chance something weird will happen but you have to live with that. You have an illness and you have to learn to live with it. Ask your parents how well they think you will cope once they are dead. This may seem morbid but you need to drive the point home. Tell them that you are going to be in a fucked if you rely on them till you are 35. Offer them some sort of deal. You come back on weekends or something like that.
If you are so mature then you will do what you want, whether it pisses off your parents or not. If you know you have a home and a job waiting for, then it becomes a matter of telling and not asking.

[terror_91]

I think i've gotten all the advice I need. Thanks to all of you who took it seriously and tried to give some instruction. I really appreciate it. I think I can swing this one if I take in all the advice given. There's some points that were made that I can use. In conclusion. I'm not a pussy. I'm not immature. My parents are not overprotective (quite the opposite actually) and I am ready to go out in the world and live by myself. I guess my parents scrutinize all of my mistakes and throw them back in my face when I want to do things like this. We have different plans. They're nice people. Very nice people and great parents. I think they just worry about me given my past and my medical condition. Wouldn't you worry about your kid if you didn't think he/she was ready? In the end my parents get the last word and I have to respect that because I have complete trust in them They've never steered me wrong. I hope if I say the right things and come up with good reasons they'll let me go.
Good luck and tell me how it went.

[saveferris]

Good luck and tell me how it went.
Thank you so much. I'll keep you posted.

[saveferris]

Go show them then. You can't complain about them not letting you drive because you haven't shown them.
There is always a chance something weird will happen but you have to live with that. You have an illness and you have to learn to live with it. Ask your parents how well they think you will cope once they are dead. This may seem morbid but you need to drive the point home. Tell them that you are going to be in a fucked if you rely on them till you are 35. Offer them some sort of deal. You come back on weekends or something like that.
If you are so mature then you will do what you want, whether it pisses off your parents or not. If you know you have a home and a job waiting for, then it becomes a matter of telling and not asking.
That actually gets brought up a lot. It's something to think about.

[phil19]

well they should be happy you've found something you're passionate about and support you. if they dont, steal their car and credit card and go anyway

[saveferris]

well they should be happy you've found something you're passionate about and support you. if they dont, steal their car and credit card and go anyway
I agree and hopefully my parents feel the same. I have my own car and credit (well, debit) card.

[phil19]

I agree and hopefully my parents feel the same. I have my own car and credit (well, debit) card.

the only way to find out is to talk to them about it. good luck

[Auals]

Playing the "I'm an adult I should be able to do whatever" card rarely works.

I feel your pain. I really do. I feel rather the same about that.

[roughroads]

Your 21, Take off the leash for christ' sake.

[saveferris]

Your 21, Take off the leash for christ' sake.
Ah there we go. The inevitable has occured. Sooner or later I knew a member would post something short and unhelpful up here. Obviously you haven't siffed through the other posts to find out the the details and other problems attatched to my situation. I reccomend you actually take time to go through all the posts before you make a fool out of yourself. You're not funny nor helpful. Nor was I motivated by your attempt at constructive criticism.

[roughroads]

Ah there we go. The inevitable has occured. Sooner or later I knew a member would post something short and unhelpful up here. Obviously you haven't siffed through the other posts to find out the the details and other problems attatched to my situation. I reccomend you actually take time to go through all the posts before you make a fool out of yourself. You're not funny nor helpful. Nor was I motivated by your attempt at constructive criticism.

I'm making a fool of myself?
You're 21 and your parents still call the shots...

And ya i didn't SIFT through the other posts because frankly, I could care less about the your problems, or the details attached to your situation.
Easy solution: grow a pair

[saveferris]

I'm making a fool of myself?
You're 21 and your parents still call the shots...

And ya i didn't SIFT through the other posts because frankly, I could care less about the your problems, or the details attached to your situation.
Easy solution: grow a pair
Right and if you go through the other posts you would know why. And let's not be a stickler for words here. Obviously you knew what I meant when I misspelled those words. Not everyone who's 21 can just call the shots. Everyone is different. It's not about me being afraid it's just about me being able to convince my parents. I love and respect them and trust them with things. I haven't yet proved I can do well on my own. Like I said everyone is different and moves at their own pace.

[Christrings]

You're right. But you don't really know my parents. I'm still under their roof so they kind of control my decisions sometimes. It's been hard to keep a job around here unless you have some serious connections. That being the reason I still live at home. I feel like this could be my chance to show them some resposibility and break out of the house.

Good luck to you.