I hate my job. Advice?

[trevorshmevor]

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up first by telling you about the people I work with:

First, there's this super model wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she's pretty hot, but damn... she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work, and I'm sure he hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years... and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback form the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I think it's even trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to Mcdonald's and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

[terror_91]

Haha, you completely got me.

[llwilliamsll]

Shit is older than the internet

[Mochem]

This is the second thread I've seen today that's just copied from another site. Fuck the internet.

[SophGod]

clever. if only you came up with it....

[phil19]

totally have not seen this before. kudos on your originality

[trevorshmevor]

I didn't come up with this on my own, I just saw this recently and thought it'd be funny to share!

[sleepyseanzzz]

if there is a website that has many witty satirical pieces such as this fine one above i would like to be made aware of it, thank you

[crimsonandclovr]

haha don't really care where this came from, it still made me chuckle.

[HometownHero]

I've never seen this and it made me laugh pretty hard

[Jennurna Gray]

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up first by telling you about the people I work with:

First, there's this super model wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she's pretty hot, but damn... she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work, and I'm sure he hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years... and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback form the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I think it's even trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to Mcdonald's and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
Until I saw the last line, I seriously thought you worked with Shaggy, Daphne and Velma.

[roughroads]

try anal

[junkcicle]

i lolled

[FueledByRock]

I could've sworn someone posted this relatively recently. I can't even laugh at it anymore.

[Rubato]

Quit or stop bitching.

/thread

[Rubato]

Yes, I am fully aware that this is a joke.

[.invisible ink.]

ugh. this would have been funny if someone didn't post it recently on ap.

it was awesome the first time i read it though.

[wendjiqn]

old as balls. ap members need to stop posting shitty stories from 4chan, it doesn't make you funny.

[bladerdude360]

First time I'm seeing this. Actually pretty funny.

[Sventhegreat]

Not bad, not bad.

[And Hours Pass]

clever. if only you came up with it....

totally have not seen this before. kudos on your originality

Somebody copied another funny thing off the internet the other day and when I called him out on it I got ripped apart by other AP members.

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?p=57357102#post57357 102

[phil19]

Somebody copied another funny thing off the internet the other day and when I called him out on it I got ripped apart by other AP members.

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?p=57357102#post57357 102

wow. sucks to be you.

[SophGod]

Somebody copied another funny thing off the internet the other day and when I called him out on it I got ripped apart by other AP members.

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?p=57357102#post57357 102

other ap users are tools

[saveferris]

This is the first time i've seen it. I thought it was pretty funny.

[zion the lion]

Somebody copied another funny thing off the internet the other day and when I called him out on it I got ripped apart by other AP members.

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?p=57357102#post57357 102

I called him out on it first! But I'm glad you got the heat.

[HelpMeSleep]

thelma isn't ugly.

[trevorshmevor]

old as balls. ap members need to stop posting shitty stories from 4chan, it doesn't make you funny.

Did not get this from 4chan. End of the internet is where it's at.

[stereokiller]

First time I'm seeing this. Actually pretty funny.

This is the first time i've seen it. I thought it was pretty funny.

these

[wendjiqn]

Did not get this from 4chan. End of the internet is where it's at.
i can guarantee you this started out on 4chan

[Reaver]

seriously, copying stuff and posting it here under your own name isn't cool, kid.

[aidangee]

www.sickipedia.org ;)

[And Hours Pass]

other ap users are tools

The trick is remembering that when I get burned. By the way, I still haven't gotten a chance to listen to the Mayer album. This suspense is eating me alive.

I called him out on it first! But I'm glad you got the heat.

Ha, I didn't know somebody else had called him out on it too. It's just so annoying when people lift unoriginal material from other sources and call it their own.

[Rubato]

thelma isn't ugly.

VELMA. Damnit!

[HelpMeSleep]

VELMA. Damnit!
what the hell. I clearly remember being told it wasn't spelled how it sounded and that it was tricky like that. fuck whoever told me that when I was little.

[Scrawns]

Quit or stop bitching.

/thread


you seriously must be retarded. even if you didnt read the whole thing, people usually at least look at the last line and a couple other replies. bad as fuck.

[trevorshmevor]

The trick is remembering that when I get burned. By the way, I still haven't gotten a chance to listen to the Mayer album. This suspense is eating me alive.



Ha, I didn't know somebody else had called him out on it too. It's just so annoying when people lift unoriginal material from other sources and call it their own.

I actually at one point posted in this thread and openly admitted that I copied and pasted it. I never said I wrote this myself. I read it somewhere else, and posted it because it's funny. Lighten the fuck up!

[And Hours Pass]

I actually at one point posted in this thread and openly admitted that I copied and pasted it. I never said I wrote this myself. I read it somewhere else, and posted it because it's funny. Lighten the fuck up!
This wasn't referencing you. This was referencing a different thread.

Read the conversation before you get mad.

[trevorshmevor]

This wasn't referencing you. This was referencing a different thread.

Read the conversation before you get mad.

It's the weirdest thing, I don't even remember quoting your post. My bad, I only meant for that to go to the other guy.

[And Hours Pass]

It's the weirdest thing, I don't even remember quoting your post. My bad, I only meant for that to go to the other guy.
No worries. It happens.