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View Full Version : she doesn't need a bpyfriend she needs a fucking hacksaw!


kingspud
11/20/09, 02:54 PM
...in my humble opinion. basically girl i was seeing split up with me cause she was too fucked up by her last (wasn't too bothered as i'd only know her a few of weeks and we'd only been on a couple of dates). basically the story goes...

her best mate pushed her into this relationship (for reasons unknown to herself). she was desperately sexually frustrated and her friend told her that if she didn't get with this particular boy she'd stop speaking to her. being suspicious of her friend, she follows said boy to a gig and catches a train home with him. they chat. she asks "know this sounds forward but i can i just ask something and tell the truth, are you bent?!". the boy laughs and says no. they get off the train as they part she askes if he sould copy her the new labum of the band they went to see (even though she's not really into that sort of music). anyway days go by without them speaking and then he approaches her one breaktime with a copy of rival schools - united by fate! (bloody good album but she only digged one song, being more of a house/techy sort of girl). he makes her a rubbish mix tape but she's vaguely touched anyway. eventually they start making out. he's very tactile but she doesn't mind. weeks go by and they still haven't had sex. he's waiting for the go ahead. she's waiting for him to say "i love you". foreplay gets a bit extreme. hands and fingers everywhere. he makes her come with his fingers alone. so she thinks well we might aswell go ahead and have sex. she's worried though cause in all they're fondlings he's never seemed to get it up properly. ie in her words "A BIG HARD DICK!". they undress fully. he penetrates. cums in under a minute. she's unsatisfied. they copulate a few more times before she dumps him. turns out "he was bent afterall". "so he raped you?" i said. "no but it was the closest possible thing". she looks like she's about to cry so i end the conversation and give her a hug. I'm asking myself which was the worst part. the lies, the hands or the sex (if you can call it that). i came to the conclusion it was the fingers. so he lied and said he wasn't bent. understandable for a puff i suppose. the sex? well who gets it right the first time. but his fingers! those fingers crawlling all over her body knowing that he could never truely love her...

like i said she doesn't need a boyfriend she needs a hacksaw!

llwilliamsll
11/20/09, 03:00 PM
Is this the anorexic one? The love of your life?

kingspud
11/20/09, 03:02 PM
no i'm still with the anorexic

kingspud
11/20/09, 03:10 PM
question for me is, why did this happen. is he plain evil? was she really that desperate for a shag? and what was her friend playing at?

apsterling
11/20/09, 03:11 PM
You should write some brutal hardcore songs about that.

kingspud
11/20/09, 03:17 PM
yeah i thought about that haha! being a perfectionist though i doubt i could ever top moral eclipse by cave in.

ReadyForAction
11/20/09, 04:05 PM
I don't think that Billy Madison quote has ever been more pertinent then it is right now

kingspud
11/20/09, 04:08 PM
can't say i'm a much of a fan of adam sandler/ben stiller (always get them mixed up). care to divulge?

argg_xo
11/20/09, 04:09 PM
I wish my love life was this dramatic.

AndrewIcex
11/20/09, 04:09 PM
I struggled to read it, but I accomplished the task at hand.

raychull
11/20/09, 04:19 PM
I read two lines and gave up on trying to decipher this.

DanTGD
11/20/09, 04:20 PM
Okay I read it, but I'm failing to see where the rape part is? someone explain? cause to me it clearly says "so she thinks well we might aswell go ahead and have sex"

that's not rape.

it's just dissapointing sex.

argg_xo
11/20/09, 04:20 PM
I read two lines and gave up on trying to decipher this.
All I read was A BIG HARD DICK! and something about being bent :shrug:

LastDeclaration
11/20/09, 04:20 PM
tl;dr

raychull
11/20/09, 04:21 PM
All I read was A BIG HARD DICK! and something about being bent :shrug:
yeah I caught that as well. but I was like, "I have no idea where this is going, and it seems sort of irrelevant, so, tldr."

kingspud
11/20/09, 04:25 PM
i'm just quoting what she said to give you an idea of who she is. not asking you to judge i'm asking why the hell this happened? who the fuck is her friend. i'd really like to give her a peice of my mind. by the way bent means something a little different in this country

sweetforever
11/20/09, 04:26 PM
Read it but don't understand what the problem/question is you're asking.

raychull
11/20/09, 04:28 PM
i'm just quoting what she said to give you an idea of who she is. not asking you to judge i'm asking why the hell this happened? who the fuck is her friend. i'd really like to give her a peice of my mind. by the way bent means something a little different in this country

the whole thing is a giant run on sentence that doesn't make much sense. it doesn't make me want to read it.

kingspud
11/20/09, 04:36 PM
messed up the bit about the BIG HARD DICK. what she said is that women love a BIG HARD DICK and what she got was the oppisite if you will. by "bent" she was basically implying gay and crooked and a peaophile and psychopath of sorts, rather than just gay. he'd probably just damaged his bell end by wanking furiously over porn all his life. i dunno, what i really want to know is why should two people like this ever end up together. what was her friend playing at putting pressure on her like that?

raychull
11/20/09, 04:37 PM
messed up the bit about the BIG HARD DICK. what she said is that women love a BIG HARD DICK and what she got was the oppisite if you will. by "bent" she was basically implying gay and crooked and a peaophile and psychopath of sorts, rather than just gay. he'd probably just damaged his bell end by wanking furiously over porn all his life. i dunno, what i really want to know is why should two people like this ever end up together. what was her friend playing at putting pressure on her like that?
still makes little sense. no care.

kingspud
11/20/09, 04:40 PM
I AM ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE SENSE OF IT FOR ME!!!!!!!!

sorry this is way to heavy for a forum i guess

raychull
11/20/09, 04:47 PM
I AM ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE SENSE OF IT FOR ME!!!!!!!!

sorry this is way to heavy for a forum i guess
i'm pretty sure none of us are licensed counselors. sorry bro.

Jake Denning
11/20/09, 04:53 PM
I think I may need to take a trip to the UK forawhile so I can understand you guys better.

kingspud
11/20/09, 05:02 PM
i'd give anything to be 19 and living in the states :(

Mandee, darling
11/20/09, 05:48 PM
this makes no sense, imo.

kingspud
11/20/09, 06:04 PM
i feel bad now for having started this thread

SophomoricSlump
11/20/09, 06:10 PM
I have several questions.

What does bent mean?

And what do you mean about him having problems getting it up? Like, how would she know he has a big dick if he never got it up?

stereokiller
11/20/09, 07:26 PM
i've read it, and why did i read it, again?

abcdefghijake
11/20/09, 08:04 PM
i feel bad now for having started this thread

I feel bad someone let you on the internetz.

atticus18244fss
11/20/09, 08:29 PM
Im confused.

LamarVannoy
11/20/09, 08:34 PM
i came to the conclusion it was the fingers.
This part made the least sense to me.

bladerdude360
11/20/09, 11:16 PM
Just because he was gay doesn't make it rape or mean that he's the things you described him as. It sounds like she was a willing participant in all of it to me.

samsara
11/20/09, 11:52 PM
I'm Lost

kingspud
11/21/09, 03:28 AM
can we please just abandon this thread. wish i hadn't started it :l

DogSizedBird
11/21/09, 04:03 AM
What the fuck is going on? This thread is straight up ri-god damn-diculous.

DogSizedBird
11/21/09, 04:04 AM
can we please just abandon this thread. wish i hadn't started it :l


bad sex =/= rape


sorry, bro.

kingspud
11/21/09, 06:32 AM
you saying it was rape or it wasn't?

drawndead
11/21/09, 08:39 AM
wait whatttt?

Chancetobe
11/21/09, 09:45 AM
I think I may need to take a trip to the UK forawhile so I can understand you guys better.

I lived in London for 5 months, and became pretty fluent with British slang. That isn't the problem here. It's that this kid fails with grammatical conventions and getting his point across. I don't even think the Eurokids would understand what is being said here.

Anything1216
11/21/09, 01:16 PM
So her name is Brent?

hellogorgeous
11/21/09, 01:54 PM
What the fuck is this story about?

cuzimlefthanded
11/21/09, 02:10 PM
All I read was A BIG HARD DICK! and something about being bent :shrug:

someone should break the story down into bullet points. "BIG HARD DICK" could easily be one of them.

ted is lying
11/21/09, 02:48 PM
He misspelled boyfriend.

Mibabalou
11/21/09, 03:02 PM
I read two lines and gave up on trying to decipher this.

this

ilikesound93
11/21/09, 03:04 PM
...What?

blinkme
11/21/09, 03:06 PM
before you publish a story, you might want to proof read it first.

the1
11/21/09, 03:33 PM
Bascially, your friend got with a gay dude.


So?

staciebx0
11/22/09, 08:51 AM
i dont understand.........