...and Both are Lost

[Deadbolt23]

I've trained my eyes to find the beauty
when rain bestows itself on you.
See, I'm not really yours.
I've pushed aside the finest curtains.
I find I've cried and surely worsened
the pain of being yours.

I feel as if I've lost
the biggest part of me,
at the greatest single cost.
My blood aches in my limbs.

We made plans amidst the laughter of my God

My sight is set on your misgivings,
as my afflicted mind is sieving
my heart from memories of you.
But tonight I'll finally set apart
The right and wrong, and, with my heart,
I'll dance through memories of us.

I feel as if I've lost
the biggest part of me,
at the greatest single cost.
My blood aches for my God in my limbs.

Well, have you ever felt the stars fall?

[LikeSwingSets]

freakin sweeeeeeeet

[Deadbolt23]

freakin sweeeeeeeet

Thanks...anything you like in particular?

[LikeSwingSets]

you could've asked when you were at my house sat next to me :p

i liked the blood aching
i like blood :)

it's all pretty kick ass though.

and the seive. +10 keeping it awesome points for that.

and the dancingthrough memories. sorta haunting if you think about it deeply enough, which i do :)

[Dead Poet]

Nice ;)

I have the feeling I read the my God thing before in your lyrics/poems.
Is that a subject you use in all your poems? (just wondering, this is no criticism)

Really love the first two lines, strong opening.

[Deadbolt23]

Nice ;)

I have the feeling I read the my God thing before in your lyrics/poems.
Is that a subject you use in all your poems? (just wondering, this is no criticism)

I guess God and religion are recurring themes. It's something that is on my mind a lot of the time, so it makes sense that it comes out in my lyrics. I think it's quite a subconscious thing though. Whatever subject I'm writing about seems to be entwined with God.


Really love the first two lines, strong opening.


Thanks, I wrote the first line, when I was out walking, and I was thinking about how you can listen to music, or you can listen to music, and really appreciate the music. And I was looking around, and thinking how often we just take everything for granted. Things as simply beautiful as trees and clouds, are ignored. That's where the idea of 'training my eyes to find beauty' came from.

[La La Lie]

I like the first two lines as well as the last line. Overall, I really like it :)

[Deadbolt23]

I like the first two lines as well as the last line. Overall, I really like it :)

Thanks a lot.
And everyone else as well. I really appreciate the feedback. It's nice that it's positive :) Don't worry if there's something negative you want to say though.

[La La Lie]

Thanks a lot.
And everyone else as well. I really appreciate the feedback. It's nice that it's positive :) Don't worry if there's something negative you want to say though.

No problem :) are you working on music to accompany it? if you ever have any, I'd love to hear it.

[Deadbolt23]

No problem :) are you working on music to accompany it? if you ever have any, I'd love to hear it.

I will definitely be at some point. Not quite yet though. If I ever do, I'll let you know :)

[La La Lie]

I will definitely be at some point. Not quite yet though. If I ever do, I'll let you know :)

Alright cool, be sure to keep me in mind :)

[jeff crawford]

omg just fuck eachother already

[wholeofheart]

def like it good work

[Blackend_Tearz]

My sight is set on your misgivings,
as my afflicted mind is sieving
my heart from memories of you.
But tonight I'll finally set apart
The right and wrong, and, with my heart,
I'll dance through memories of us
Loved that part