girl. recently taken. you also recently developed feelings for her.

[theguy77]

i hear about these kinds of issues all the time from friends. just the other day my friend told me about this happening with a girl who got a boyfriend like 5 days earlier. sometimes the decision can be tough; what does he or anyone else in this situation do?

also, girls feel free to answer this from her perspective.

[Praetor]

Normally I don't come in here but I saw it on the main forum page and I'm currently going through the same thing so I figured why not. Bottom line, if you tell her, you're selfish and not considering her feelings. What is she supposed to do in a situation like that? Are the chances of her breaking up with her boyfriend to be with you good? I don't know your situation but I'm guessing it's a no. Don't just say it to get it off your chest, because that will not end well.

[theguy77]

Normally I don't come in here but I saw it on the main forum page and I'm currently going through the same thing so I figured why not. Bottom line, if you tell her, you're selfish and not considering her feelings. What is she supposed to do in a situation like that? Are the chances of her breaking up with her boyfriend to be with you good? I don't know your situation but I'm guessing it's a no. Don't just say it to get it off your chest, because that will not end well.

yeah, thats what i told him. hes having a hard time accepting that though, apparently he connects with her more than he has with anybody he's dated in a long time.

[overdrive91]

Sometimes you need to be selfish.

[heroesofthepast]

currently experiencing a bit of this. going the first route.

[theguy77]

i also think that sometimes, depending on how strong your feelings are, the second option could be harder to avoid, especially if you feel like you wont find another girl like her for a long time.

[songydarko]

Depends on the girl and the guy really. Like, some girls are little twats and get boyfriends left and right while also playing with guys' emotions. But other girls would never think of caring about some guy on that end because they're obviously with whoever they're with. If it were me, I'd probably just lay off though.

[mybreakingpoint]

Do nothing.

Karma is a bitch, and who knows? You steal her away from her boyfriend, and then someone steals her or a future girlfriend from you in the same manner. Be on Karma's side and let her relationship take it's course and then take it from there.

[HYGz]

Yeah definitely don't say/do anything dude. If you do, you must be strategic about it. Like let them date for a few months or whatever, and after she starts bitching about her boyfriend to you for the umpteenth time, that's when you whip the "feelings I've always had for you" card out. Chances are, if she feels the same way, you'll bag it. Or you should come close anyways.

[Ari Christos]

If you were to tell her and she's just as easy to leave her boyfriend for you, than she's just as easy to leave you for someone else. There's external factors that go into it to. Like if the guy she's dating is a prick, than I'd say it's probably more easy to talk to her about your feelings and try to bring her into a better relationship. If you've known the girl for a while, it could put a strain on your relationship, maybe even kinda end it, if you tell her while she's with someone else that's she's into.

I think the best route is to just stick it out and don't say anything (right away, at least).

[maxvsmaradona]

Sometimes you need to be selfish.

This.

[theguilt engine]

you're stuck in friend zone until she's done, sir.

[Smash Adams]

I see this isn't the reading comprehension forum, he's not the one with the issue

[Alex DiVincenzo]

Be the bigger man and wait it out. If she's that great, she'll be worth waiting for.

[fightinirish217]

Hey, Jim told Pam how he felt, and look how that worked out!

[saysmydoctor]

I see this isn't the reading comprehension forum, he's not the one with the issue
I love you.

[Ari Christos]

I see this isn't the reading comprehension forum, he's not the one with the issue

I was using "you" as more of a general term :shrug:

[HYGz]

I was using "you" as more of a general term :shrug:

Thank you. Jesus.

[BryterJonah]

There isn't a "Get actual priorities" option so I'm leaving.

[Smeee]

I see this isn't the reading comprehension forum, he's not the one with the issue

What a fun forum that would be haha.

[andthetruthwill]

Don't worry about it all. Everyone breaks up. At that point if you still care, you can put some effort into trying. But even then it most likely won't get you anywhere, because if she had liked you in the first place, she would have done something to make it known.

[Ari Christos]

Thank you. Jesus.

I didn't think that clarification would have to be made, getting a little too nitpicky on this site.

[IntoTheSun]

I didn't think that clarification would have to be made, getting a little too nitpicky on this site.

It's the PL forum, buddy...What else exactly do you expect them to whine about? haha.

[Metal Now]

Hey, Jim told Pam how he felt, and look how that worked out!

I take all my life advice from The Office.

English version.

[Urglegrew]

i waited... welp 2 years have gone by and im still waiting, sometimes you look back and wish you did something, i dunno

[saysmydoctor]

Anal is the second choice, for the record. People are ignoring the dark horse.

[Waldorf]

anal anal anal

[Sic Transit Zeb]

I say go for it. If you don't, you'll always wish you did and that's terrible.

[Ari Christos]

It's the PL forum, buddy...What else exactly do you expect them to whine about? haha.

A lot more things rather than something that's not even an issue.

[play.tragic]

if the person in this situation likes the girl THAT much, then they can wait out her relationship. they had their chance when she was single, now they have to respect that the girl is with someone else.
of course there are other factors and whatnot, but that's my opinion in the most general sense.

[hellogorgeous]

Unless you are SERIOUSLY in love with her, I wouldn't do anything.

[Taking_Frags]

Best to wait it out.

[Shatter_Glass]

Tell her you puss or you'll regret it and never know. A "bf" isn't a ring, man-up.

I say this all with straight-shootin' love haha

[ohheroine]

tell her and if she seems in the slightest uninterested LEAVE HER ALONE.

[Akissforher]

experiencing this atm, ive decided to not tell her cause shes happy and thats good enough for me.

[IntoTheSun]

A lot more things rather than something that's not even an issue.

Haha, a lot of things including things that aren't an issue. I was on your side...

[roughroads]

I say go for it, Anal is always a good time!

But seriously I was just in this situation, but the girls new boyfriend was one of my closest friends... So fucked

[isawstars]

I think telling her would be such a dick move.

The only thing that would make it okay to tell her is if you had a history with the girl and you dipped out because she wanted to be exclusive. So if there was never a spark and there is no possibility she still feelings for you... then don't do it.

[Samc1803]

Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score.

But in all seriousness, just tell her. You, your friend, or whoever. I forgot what context the OP was in. Just be prepared for the answer you don't want, that's always a possibility. I've had to deal with it before, and even though I got denied, it was easier to kinda cut that friendship short and move on than watch her date that guy. But, he was a terrible boyfriend.

Edit: I realized that your post doesn't specify how long the guy has known the girl. If they're good friends, see above. If she is just an acquaintance that he has a crush on, then tell him to move on.

[apsterling]

Both sides of the coin are equally shitty- one leads to false hope, one leads to instant loss, so it's all whether you want it shipped to your doorstep, or you want to take it home now.

That said there's that slight chance.

[KingJohn_654]

i told a girl in a relationship how i feel last night and i dont regret it.

[kianacarly]

I've experienced this from the other side before. I was dating someone, a friend told me that he liked me, and it was just a sucky situation. Obviously I was with my boyfriend at the time because I liked him, and that's probably the case for this girl as well. I mean, I'm pretty terrible at handling it when anyone gets crushes on me (doesn't happen too often, and frankly I get a bit awkward when it happens regardless of the situation), and although I was still friends with the guy who liked me, it felt so strained and awkward whenever we'd talk. She's with her boyfriend because she is into him, and I do think waiting it out is the best option. They probably won't be together forever, and so respecting her feelings towards her current boyfriend is best until they break up.

Also, you have to take into account that if she were to leave her boyfriend for your friend that easily, she's just as likely to leave him for someone else. While that might not always be the case, it's still something to be considered. Plus, if the guy she's dating is really a nice guy and had the balls to ask her out first, that's not fair to him either. I know your friend probably couldn't care less about the guy she's dating and isn't really in the position to be respecting him like that (I tend to strongly dislike the girls who are dating guys I like, no matter how nice they are), but he's a person too. How would you feel if someone told your girlfriend they had feelings for her? You probably wouldn't be too happy.