Navy Dad needs some advice

[Paulie4star]

Hey everyone, it's been a while since I've been on this site, but I always seemed to read good advice so I thought I would give it a shot.
The Problem:

I will be expecting my first child (son) with my wife on December 15th and I am super f*cking excited, more than anything I have ever been excited about before, however, I am in the Navy and deployments will come soon I am assuming, I will be home for the birth and probably about 10 days after he is born. Does anyone know of anything that might help me bond with my son more, so maybe he won't forget who I am? I know it may seem ridiculous because he has hardly heard my voice the way it is, and he might not even know who I am in the first place because I have been gone the last 5 months, but I just want to be the best father possible, any suggestions? Thank you everyone for taking the time to read/respond.

[Mandee, darling]

wow, that's both extremely exciting and unfortunate at the same time. i would suggest the old snail mail method, if that's even possible since you're in the navy, and while doing so, send/receive pictures as much as possible. and if allowed, you could possibly do video mail, so he'd have a way of knowing what you look like and sound like at the same time. the first couple of months will be difficult, but if your child knew what you looked and sounded like, chances are he wouldn't forget. sorry, if this is long and not very helpful, i'm trying to think of as much as possible to help. :)

[Paulie4star]

wow, that's both extremely exciting and unfortunate at the same time. i would suggest the old snail mail method, if that's even possible since you're in the navy, and while doing so, send/receive pictures as much as possible. and if allowed, you could possibly do video mail, so he'd have a way of knowing what you look like and sound like at the same time. the first couple of months will be difficult, but if your child knew what you looked and sounded like, chances are he wouldn't forget. sorry, if this is long and not very helpful, i'm trying to think of as much as possible to help. :)

No no, that's exactly the kind of advice I was looking for, anything and everything is helpful to me. Thank you.

[Mandee, darling]

No no, that's exactly the kind of advice I was looking for, anything and everything is helpful to me. Thank you.

oh, well you're welcome, i'm glad i could help! i wish you the best of luck and all the joy to come! :)

[unionx]

Do you have a laptop? Try doing video chats as much as possible with him. I remember when I was a kid my Dad bought me a stuffed animal and I carried it around everywhere, and it reminded me of him. I never saw him much as a child and it helped.

[Paulie4star]

Do you have a laptop? Try doing video chats as much as possible with him. I remember when I was a kid my Dad bought me a stuffed animal and I carried it around everywhere, and it reminded me of him. I never saw him much as a child and it helped.

Stuffed animal, that's a good idea, thank you. Haha, it's messed up how my brain shuts down when I try to come up with the simplest solutions.

[yves.]

videos, lots and lots. i hope everything works out well for you.

[zion the lion]

If you're worried about him not knowing your voice or that your his father, you can get one of those stuffed animals that records your voice. Put a picture of you and your wife next to his crib somewhere. If you have a camera, record some videos saying things that you want to say to him and telling him you love him, that way when you arent able to talk to your wife, she can pop those in and the baby can see them. I dont know how it works with deployment, but use something like skype so you can see you talking to him and interacting with him.

[kmc]

My cousin's husband is in the Marines. Before he was deployed, they recorded videos of him reading children's books, and my cousin plays those videos every night for their son.

[x1onexwo1fx]

My cousin's husband is in the Marines. Before he was deployed, they recorded videos of him reading children's books, and my cousin plays those videos every night for their son.

that's awesome.

as for my own advice, i don't think i can top what's already been said in this thread.

[kerropi]

Yeah, I would suggest even recording a video before you leave, or like a message to him so he knows your voice.
Good luck!

[Fringe]

So if I'm understanding this right, you're going to be away from him for five months? I think sending him video's, pictures and what not would work great :)

[geebee889]

I definitely agree with the stuffed animal idea. I still have one that my great aunt gave me when I was little. We were super close, so whenever I see it it brings back fond memories.

[Sventhegreat]

Stuffed animal= great idea.

Question. Are you really 19?

[spansen]

19? married with a kid on the way?

i smell disaster. sorry for being honest.

[spunkmastaflex]

read to him maybe, like maybe try to read him to sleep.

that or play some sports with him i guess

by this, i mean do it before you leave and when you get home

[loudpunkguitar]

i didn't read all the other responses, so forgive me if i am repeating.

you could record audio or video of you reading stories that could be played for your child. you can do video chats with your family from afar as your schedule and circumstances allow. skype all the way.

also, this one might sound a little weird, but leave something with your scent behind. example might be to wear a t shirt for a few hours a day. for a couple days. you wouldnt want it to get sweaty and gross or anything like that. then it can be used with your child (maybe as a sheet in the crib or something). i don't have any real good ideas on how to implement this, but i do know that scent is huge for creating bonds.

good luck with everything!

[HYGz]

thank you for your service.

[Paulie4star]

Stuffed animal= great idea.

Question. Are you really 19?

yes

19? married with a kid on the way?

i smell disaster. sorry for being honest.

I've been married for a tear and a half, I'm doing fantastic. It's okay to be honest

i didn't read all the other responses, so forgive me if i am repeating.

you could record audio or video of you reading stories that could be played for your child. you can do video chats with your family from afar as your schedule and circumstances allow. skype all the way.

also, this one might sound a little weird, but leave something with your scent behind. example might be to wear a t shirt for a few hours a day. for a couple days. you wouldnt want it to get sweaty and gross or anything like that. then it can be used with your child (maybe as a sheet in the crib or something). i don't have any real good ideas on how to implement this, but i do know that scent is huge for creating bonds.

good luck with everything!

I didn't think of that, that's actually a great idea, thank you.

thank you for your service.

You're very welcome.

[loudpunkguitar]

I didn't think of that, that's actually a great idea, thank you.

you're welcome. good luck!

[Scrawns]

im short on time but since your in the military i think it would be a good idea to do this. im sure you will return without a scratch but just in case the worst happens, write him a letter and leave it for him at home before you ship out. something he can read and have with him in the event that disaster strikes. my brother did this for his child when he shipped out. if something ever happened im sure it would make his life alot easier growing up knowing that his dad had some words for him to read from time to time.

[Paulie4star]

im short on time but since your in the military i think it would be a good idea to do this. im sure you will return without a scratch but just in case the worst happens, write him a letter and leave it for him at home before you ship out. something he can read and have with him in the event that disaster strikes. my brother did this for his child when he shipped out. if something ever happened im sure it would make his life alot easier growing up knowing that his dad had some words for him to read from time to time.

This is a great idea, thank you for sharing. I thought of something like this before but I completely forgot about it until now.

[radxbandit]

Hey everyone, it's been a while since I've been on this site, but I always seemed to read good advice so I thought I would give it a shot.
The Problem:

I will be expecting my first child (son) with my wife on December 15th and I am super f*cking excited, more than anything I have ever been excited about before, however, I am in the Navy and deployments will come soon I am assuming, I will be home for the birth and probably about 10 days after he is born. Does anyone know of anything that might help me bond with my son more, so maybe he won't forget who I am? I know it may seem ridiculous because he has hardly heard my voice the way it is, and he might not even know who I am in the first place because I have been gone the last 5 months, but I just want to be the best father possible, any suggestions? Thank you everyone for taking the time to read/respond.

Thank you for serving :-)

I don't have any advice for getting him to remember you, I wouldn't know where to begin. On a different note, I think it would be cool to do things that will allow you to play a part in your son's life despite you being away (i.e. letters, pictures, recordings both audio and video). When you're child is older (old enough to integrate this experience as a part of his life), I think this would really mean a lot to him, I know it would for me.

[EchoPark]

Congratulations mate on the upcoming bundle of joy. Don't pay any mind to the clueless morons (spansen) who want to flood you with their own negativity. They do this because they are insecure and unfufilled in their own lives.

I suggest you take full advantage of Skype which allows you to do free video chat. Buy your wife a webcam. I'm sure they will have some sort of video/web cam on the computers on the ship. If you are away you can use this valuable tool to see your wife and child and it is a lot more satisfying than writing letters.

As a father of a 3 year old myself, I used Skype every few days when I was away for 6 months on a work transfer.

[takemyhand]

read to him maybe, like maybe try to read him to sleep.

that or play some sports with him i guess

by this, i mean do it before you leave and when you get home

how do you play sports with a newborn baby? lol.

[Jake Denning]

how do you play sports with a newborn baby? lol.

toss the baby?

haha, put the ball in his hand and hold him up to a hoop. Slammmm Dunk!

[bstthngunvrhd7]

I'd have to agree with everything everyone's posted--they are all good ideas--maybe you could also make a scrapbook of the times that you and your wife had while she was carrying him so they knew you loved him before you met him...and like when you go to the hospital too when she has it.

Maybe you could get the baby like a little bracelet or something (I know they make baby ones because I've seen them before) and engrave a special message on it.

Also, there is a way to to the voice recording thing, I know I've seen it before at Build-a-Bear when I've gone with famly members to make gifts:
Here's the link that describes it:
http://www.buildabear.com/shop/productdetail.aspx?ProductSKU=1996&Category=Sounds&CallingPage=ProductSummary

Hope this helps and thank you for serving.

[takemyhand]

toss the baby?

haha, put the ball in his hand and hold him up to a hoop. Slammmm Dunk!

haha! I'm sure that will leave the baby knowing he has a great, caring father!

[Jake Denning]

haha! I'm sure that will leave the baby knowing he has a great, caring father!

stupid question, but how are you single? you dont have like a funky weird laugh do you or something, right?

[takemyhand]

stupid question, but how are you single? you dont have like a funky weird laugh do you or something, right?

Haha gosh. I'm shy, most guys don't take the time to get to know me I guess.

[Jake Denning]

Haha gosh. I'm shy, most guys don't take the time to get to know me I guess.

Ah, one of those types huh? I bet you blush super hard at things, huh?

[takemyhand]

Ah, one of those types huh? I bet you blush super hard at things, huh?
Haha! definitely.

[spunkmastaflex]

how do you play sports with a newborn baby? lol.

easy, throw him the football and then tackle him, ah just kidding, thats more for after!

[Paulie4star]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all of you taking time to at least look into my situation and giving some advice.

[deFobbed14yrs]

oh that's my birthday! first and foremost thank you for serving our country. and i know when my cousin was over in Afghanistan, skyping and letters and emails were a must. and little presents so when your kids grows up, he'll see that you were always there, even when you physically couldn't.

[Roboman]

19? married with a kid on the way?

i smell disaster. sorry for being honest.

Glad to see I'm not the only one thinking along these lines. I mean, it's your life dude, so I don't really give a shit. I just don't know why anyone would ever want to marry that early, especially if they are going into the armed forces. Good luck though.

[anthonydarko]

Congrats on the little one on the way. As for dealing with the problem at hand, make videos so your child will know your voice and your face, it'll help greatly. Also, a web cam could help too.

[abcdefghijake]

how do you play sports with a newborn baby? lol.

One: Avatar win!
Two: Play football with him taking the place of the ball.

[TheReckoner]

I've been married for a tear and a half
This typo is sadly ironic.

[Kozzy333]

Glad to see I'm not the only one thinking along these lines. I mean, it's your life dude, so I don't really give a shit. I just don't know why anyone would ever want to marry that early, especially if they are going into the armed forces. Good luck though.

I think it is pretty common for people going into the armed forces to marry their girlfriends. Maybe an attempt to make sure she won't cheat?

[Mibabalou]

wait your 19 and married and have a kid

i guess thats cool

[Paulie4star]

Glad to see I'm not the only one thinking along these lines. I mean, it's your life dude, so I don't really give a shit. I just don't know why anyone would ever want to marry that early, especially if they are going into the armed forces. Good luck though.

I married her before any interest in the military, I was going to college getting good grades and everything, but then I got laid off of my job, and her hours got cut, and I had to start making money fast before we lost our apartment. Military was the only way to go in my situation. She got pregnant after I enlisted. Everything is going great though. I appreciate the concern.

[Paulie4star]

I think it is pretty common for people going into the armed forces to marry their girlfriends. Maybe an attempt to make sure she won't cheat?

It is more common in the military but not too different from the civilian world. A lot of people say they're going to but never go through with it. And yes it's sad how many significant others cheat while in the military/staying back home. Both ways, it's wrong in my opinion. But like I said I was married before the military and I think I am better off married then I ever was/will be single. Just my opinion. Nothing can drag me down right now =)