finding out a girl has a boyfriend through facebook

[DanPiazza]

i know the title sounds creepy, but hear my story through.

basically i've been flirting and going on dates with this girl (i'd hope they're dates, i keep paying for everything...)
she seems into me, and i want to make a move, but then i notice she's "engaged to a guy" on facebook.
he wrote on her wall today something along the lines of calling her babycakes with an xoxo and <3

so i go to college with this girl, and were both about 2 hours away form home. this guy is form her hometown
im guessing, since he doesnt go to my school. so do i ask her is she has a boyfriend, or do i just drop it?

i just think its weird she hasnt told me she has a boyfriend...

sorry for the tl;dr nonsense.

[laxcrs]

yeah this sucks

[DanPiazza]

yeah this sucks

i was hoping for a little more depth.

[laxcrs]

oh well asking doesn't hurt, also multiple dates with a college girl and you havent done anything with her?

[DanPiazza]

party friday, was gonna make a move then. nothing's happened because i've had my suspicions of something like this for a bit. it's a pretty new thing though, us hanging out.

[cshadows2887]

Sounds like a gay best friend to me. If they're really dating, I doubt she'd be fake engaged to him on facebook. You don't joke about that with someone you're actually involed with. And does anyone really call their girlfriend babycakes?

[DanPiazza]

that makes a lot of sense. i just don't want to seem controlling or jealous by asking if she has a boyfriend. the upside is that if she says yes, it saves me frustration later. the downside is that it could ruin things with her if she says no.

[cshadows2887]

It's not an easy situation. It's pretty taboo to ask about something you saw on fbook. How would it be bad if she said she didn't have a bf, exactly?

[DCfreak]

Are you FB friends with her? or did you just look up her page and luckily she doesnt have it privatized? If you are her facebook friend and she was interested in seeing you, I imagine something like "engaged to ____" would be something she wouldn't have up.

[yves.]

saw this from the homepage and thought (/hoped) the last word would be 'dick'.

[anamericangod]

Hit The Lights - Drop The Girl

Also, if you are considering getting involved with a girl who has her boyfriend call her "babycakes" and leave "xoxoxo" or what the fuck ever where everyone can see, you should probably reevaluate things.

[cuzimlefthanded]

saw this from the homepage and thought (/hoped) the last word would be 'dick'.

awesome post is awesome.

[Domenic182]

Make a move on her at a party and if she says she has a boyfriend then flip out on her

[Scrawns]

Hit The Lights - Drop The Girl


this song is straight up the same as the OP's situation haha

[zion the lion]

Sounds like a gay best friend to me. If they're really dating, I doubt she'd be fake engaged to him on facebook. You don't joke about that with someone you're actually involed with. And does anyone really call their girlfriend babycakes?

I dont know, I've had guy friends and boyfriends who give me ring pops and fake marry me.

But babycakes doesnt sound too much like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, it's more like a best friend thing.

[HometownHero]

Just ask her. If she says she has a boyfriend then do her anyways

[redsand62]

just ask her but don't say "because i saw it on facebook", that'll make you sound pretty dumb.

[goodarmcindy]

sounds like a gay best friend. But never, ever, ever start a conversation with "I saw on facebook that..." that shit will not end well

[Sloth7]

Ask her. Just do it in a clever, nonchalant way, don't say you saw it on Facebook. If she's got a boyfriend, especially one who's leaving her such asinine comments on FB, get away from that whole situation, it'll just be an annoying mess if you continue like that.

[aerofan11]

My Facebook says I'm married, and that my other friend is widowed. People put there best friends on there sometimes, just for fun.
How old is she? College sounds like a weird time to be engaged to someone.

[xxxfreakxxx]

Just make a move,you don' know what can happen until you try.

[whiterussian]

baby cakes... that sounds delicious.

FETCH THE BABIES
WE BAKE AT DAWN

... but yeah, fuck facebook.

[miapiv89]

Hit The Lights - Drop The Girl

Also, if you are considering getting involved with a girl who has her boyfriend call her "babycakes" and leave "xoxoxo" or what the fuck ever where everyone can see, you should probably reevaluate things.

this.

[mulcahy67]

ask. and to be honest, if she says she doesnt, you should still find out who that guy who posted on the wall was. i always like to know possible competition or just really brotherly friend/gay friend.

[PezMullet]

instead of dropping her without asking just ask. if she's in a relationship then drop her.

if you drop her and she's not in a relationship then you would've lost an opportunity without even knowing.

if it goes further you gotta ANAL her though.

[Lunar]

anal.

[maxvsmaradona]

Make a move.

[DanPiazza]

My Facebook says I'm married, and that my other friend is widowed. People put there best friends on there sometimes, just for fun.
How old is she? College sounds like a weird time to be engaged to someone.

she's a freshman in college. i'm a sophomore.

[jeremypeele]

just pull it out. see how she responds.

[Yellowcard2006]

I did that two days ago. I sent her a friend reqest.

Checked her profile then

http://i44.tinypic.com/35btpc6.jpg

Pretty much.

[DanPiazza]

not gonna lie, i've never seen a FFUU that big before. kudos.

and yeah, we were already friends. this is just strange. guess i'll play it out and hope she doesn't randomly drop the boyfriend on me when i make a move.

[songydarko]

Well if you've been paying for her shit, I'd DEFINITELY bring it up. That's not cool.

[unionx]

Sounds like you're getting played my friend. Hit it and quit it.

[hellogorgeous]

Hey I know.. stop being a pussy.

[kbi the crowing]

i know the title sounds creepy, but hear my story through.

basically i've been flirting and going on dates with this girl (i'd hope they're dates, i keep paying for everything...)
she seems into me, and i want to make a move, but then i notice she's "engaged to a guy" on facebook.
he wrote on her wall today something along the lines of calling her babycakes with an xoxo and <3

so i go to college with this girl, and were both about 2 hours away form home. this guy is form her hometown
im guessing, since he doesnt go to my school. so do i ask her is she has a boyfriend, or do i just drop it?

i just think its weird she hasnt told me she has a boyfriend...

sorry for the tl;dr nonsense.

ask her, if shes got a man, move on.

[Lloyd Christmas]

if you've been going on multiple "dates" with this girl wouldn't you think she would bring up her being engaged to another guy?
just ask her about it.

[overdrive91]

baby cakes... that sounds delicious.

FETCH THE BABIES
WE BAKE AT DAWN

... but yeah, fuck facebook.

Best post.

[DanPiazza]

Best post.

it was pretty win.

[superBMRuth]

This situation happened to me very recently, (going on supposed "dates" where i'd spend a small fortune, lot of flirtations and such) only her relationship status changed from "engaged" with a gay friend to "in a relationship" with another dude.

[DanPiazza]

haha, that's probably foreshadowing for what's gonna happen to me. i don't show my relationship status on facebook to be honest.

[zachff]

You need to ask her right now. It's not like she doesn't know she's got that shit up on facebook

[DanPiazza]

yeah i thought that whole fake engagement shit was all high school.

[Kassie09]

i used to be 'engaged' to one of my friends on fb it was a joke. soooooooooo it might her friend. babycakes and xoxoxox don't seem serious to me.

[sk8mule89]

Make a move on her at a party and if she says she has a boyfriend then flip out on her

if you do this you can place the blame on her for leading you on then! everybody wins!

[vickasaur_xoxo]

i know the title sounds creepy, but hear my story through.

basically i've been flirting and going on dates with this girl (i'd hope they're dates, i keep paying for everything...)
she seems into me, and i want to make a move, but then i notice she's "engaged to a guy" on facebook.
he wrote on her wall today something along the lines of calling her babycakes with an xoxo and <3

so i go to college with this girl, and were both about 2 hours away form home. this guy is form her hometown
im guessing, since he doesnt go to my school. so do i ask her is she has a boyfriend, or do i just drop it?

i just think its weird she hasnt told me she has a boyfriend...

sorry for the tl;dr nonsense.

hmm, maybe its just some random guy that likes her?
or her boyfriend, lol.

I'd just ask, and if she tells you something now
and you find something else out later the I'd say forget it.
Shes not worth your time if shes going to lie to you.

[TheLoyalVox]

If she's engaged, she'd have a ring. Plain and simple.

[Maiaophilia]

Hit The Lights - Drop The Girl

Also, if you are considering getting involved with a girl who has her boyfriend call her "babycakes" and leave "xoxoxo" or what the fuck ever where everyone can see, you should probably reevaluate things.


this advice = golden.

[herestoyoufla]

i know the title sounds creepy, but hear my story through.

basically i've been flirting and going on dates with this girl (i'd hope they're dates, i keep paying for everything...)
she seems into me, and i want to make a move, but then i notice she's "engaged to a guy" on facebook.
he wrote on her wall today something along the lines of calling her babycakes with an xoxo and <3

so i go to college with this girl, and were both about 2 hours away form home. this guy is form her hometown
im guessing, since he doesnt go to my school. so do i ask her is she has a boyfriend, or do i just drop it?

i just think its weird she hasnt told me she has a boyfriend...

sorry for the tl;dr nonsense.

definitely ask her, some people are weird and say they're engaged or dating on facebook when they're really not.

[EvilZeppelin]

Just be straight forward with her.

[Sventhegreat]

i know the title sounds creepy, but hear my story through.

basically i've been flirting and going on dates with this girl (i'd hope they're dates, i keep paying for everything...)
she seems into me, and i want to make a move, but then i notice she's "engaged to a guy" on facebook.
he wrote on her wall today something along the lines of calling her babycakes with an xoxo and <3

so i go to college with this girl, and were both about 2 hours away form home. this guy is form her hometown
im guessing, since he doesnt go to my school. so do i ask her is she has a boyfriend, or do i just drop it?

i just think its weird she hasnt told me she has a boyfriend...

sorry for the tl;dr nonsense.

Clearly he is a homosexual, so no worries brother.

[andthetruthwill]

It's called getting used. Drop her. And don't pay for anything ever. Ever.

[AndrewIcex]

Ask the damn question, just bring it up in casual conversation.

Does not matter where you got the idea from, you can tell her facebook, it won't make a difference.

Everyone acts like seeing shit on facebook is such a taboo thing (but yet, millions of fucking people are addicted to it), fuck that.

[DanPiazza]

yeah you say one thing about facebook and you're labeled a stalked. society is ignorant sometimes, haha.

[Hamlet]

"I used to love women from afar. Of course, now they call it stalking."

Damn!

The new Facebook privacy settings they've brought in make it harder to stalk people.

Regional networks no longer exist, so being able to see people's profiles which are public on networks no longer can happen.

They actually prompt people to set their privacy settings, which means most will freak out and put their profile on friends only.

However, if they're lazy with their photos and have them on 'everyone', you can still do the old look-photos-of-friend, and if they're in a public album, you can still view the whole album, and said stalkee.

Also, profile pictures are now considered their own album, and have individual privacy settings. I think they default to 'everyone', so you may be able to view someone's profile picture album, even if you can't access their full profile.

Just a few tips.

[deathinkosovo]

Tag for results.

[summachick708]

Girls do stuff like this all the time, I know a lot of friends that are "engaged" to their gay best friend on facebook. I'd be willing to bet she doesn't have a boyfriend and that status is just an inside joke. But if you wanted to be sure, there's no harm in just clarifying your situation with her. It doesn't have to be A Big Talk, you can just have a simple conversation with her to figure out where you are with this girl. You said you've been on a number of unofficial dates with her already, and she wouldn't be going on those dates with you if she didn't like you. Girls aren't stupid, she knows that if you're inviting her out to dinner with you one-on-one that it's a date, even if you didn't specifically underline that fact for her. If I were you, next time you're hanging out together alone and having a good time, just ask who the person is that she's engaged to on facebook. It's not creepy to mention if you're friends with her on there, which I would hope you are because that would be a little strange if you've been taking this girl out to dinner but you're not facebook friends. And if it happens to be someone that she's not romantically into then you can follow up the question by asking if she does have someone else in the picture in a romantic way. But from what you've said, it doesn't seem to me like she does.

[cshadows2887]

Girls do stuff like this all the time, I know a lot of friends that are "engaged" to their gay best friend on facebook. I'd be willing to bet she doesn't have a boyfriend and that status is just an inside joke. But if you wanted to be sure, there's no harm in just clarifying your situation with her. It doesn't have to be A Big Talk, you can just have a simple conversation with her to figure out where you are with this girl. You said you've been on a number of unofficial dates with her already, and she wouldn't be going on those dates with you if she didn't like you. Girls aren't stupid, she knows that if you're inviting her out to dinner with you one-on-one that it's a date, even if you didn't specifically underline that fact for her. If I were you, next time you're hanging out together alone and having a good time, just ask who the person is that she's engaged to on facebook. It's not creepy to mention if you're friends with her on there, which I would hope you are because that would be a little strange if you've been taking this girl out to dinner but you're not facebook friends. And if it happens to be someone that she's not romantically into then you can follow up the question by asking if she does have someone else in the picture in a romantic way. But from what you've said, it doesn't seem to me like she does.

Yay sensibility. It's so rare in the personal life threads that I feel the need to cheerlead when I see it.

[MyNameIsRoss]

steal her from her toolbox fiance.

[wroteurname]

I agree completely with everyone that says the "fiance" is a fagance.

[Taking_Frags]

Fuck her and peace.

But really, you've taking her out on a few dates and you don't know if she has a boyfriend or not? Maybe it's just me, but I would have found out if she had a boyfriend before taking her out on date #1

[mulcahy67]

do we have an answer for this yet? im all in anticipation and shit, and we got nothing yet.

[senatorlamb]

this thread needs an ending. people really put a lot of investment in this.

[summachick708]

Yay sensibility. It's so rare in the personal life threads that I feel the need to cheerlead when I see it.
Haha, thanks. Based on some of the other comments I felt somebody had to be the voice of reason...

[roughroads]

Sounds like a gay best friend to me. If they're really dating, I doubt she'd be fake engaged to him on facebook. You don't joke about that with someone you're actually involed with. And does anyone really call their girlfriend babycakes?

This^
seems like the most logical explanation

Make a move if, she stops you and/or tells you she has a boyfriend then at-least you have closure on the subject.

[AndrewIcex]

I want results.

[foisol]

LOL a girl I really liked was "married" on Facebook... now I don't think she was married at all, but I did assume that the guy may have been her boyfriend. Unlike your situation though, me an her were constantly hooking up physically... and then she'd be distant. I suspected she may be cheating and/or was in a long distance relationship (seeing as me and the girl had mutual friends, and never once did I see this guy at a party or something).

I was right.

[yves.]

LOL a girl I really liked was "married" on Facebook... now I don't think she was married at all, but I did assume that the guy may have been her boyfriend. Unlike your situation though, me an her were constantly hooking up physically... and then she'd be distant. I suspected she may be cheating and/or was in a long distance relationship (seeing as me and the girl had mutual friends, and never once did I see this guy at a party or something).

I was right.

i'm set to 'married' on facebook to my best friend (who is gay) jay, and people will actually think i'm married or dating him. hahah.

[Dumpweed]

i'm set to 'married' on facebook to my best friend (who is gay) jay, and people will actually think i'm married or dating him. hahah.

any insight in to why girls do that? so they dont get hit on by d-bags?

[yves.]

any insight in to why girls do that? so they dont get hit on by d-bags?

no idea, we did it purely as a joke, though.

[Ferzaer]

just ask her. don't drop her without even knowing. it worth a shot asking.

[Chancetobe]

Yeah. Just ask. But if you kind of want to avoid asking the boyfriend question - just do the 'blah blah blah, i really like you...blah blah blah my girlfriend?" Well, not exactly like that, cuse i feel that conversation usually goes creepily. But, basically tell her you like her, and at that point if she has a boyfriend she'd have to own up. But engagement on FB is never with an actual significant other.

[DanPiazza]

so for everyone who wants results, i'm going to be talking to her about this friday. sorry to keep everyone waiting, haha.

[AndrewIcex]

so for everyone who wants results, i'm going to be talking to her about this friday. sorry to keep everyone waiting, haha.
All that we care about is actually hearing the final verdict... so many times in these types of ap.net situations... we never ever know what happens.. and the thread falls in the sea... don't allow this to happen.

[lonelysuperstar]

All that we care about is actually hearing the final verdict... so many times in these types of ap.net situations... we never ever know what happens.. and the thread falls in the sea... don't allow this to happen.
Agreed. We must have closure.

[DanPiazza]

i'll be sure to report in saturday morning, or maybe late on friday when i get bad news haha.

[staciebx0]

Hit The Lights - Drop The Girl

Also, if you are considering getting involved with a girl who has her boyfriend call her "babycakes" and leave "xoxoxo" or what the fuck ever where everyone can see, you should probably reevaluate things.

hahhahahaha dying

[eriatarka24]

yeah you say one thing about facebook and you're labeled a stalked. society is ignorant sometimes, haha.
i know right.

yet most people do it.

anyway good luck with this, i just hope she hasn't been using you

[mulcahy67]

im so fucking pumped for this closure, its incredible.

[cshadows2887]

It's becoming like a baby trapped in a well or something. Everyone is atwitter. Good luck, man.

[deathinkosovo]

i know right.

yet most people do it.

anyway good luck with this, i just hope she hasn't been using you

If someone agrees to be your friend on Facebook, it's all game. Hell, before my best friend added me on FB, I Googled her. Now THAT is creepy. You can tell who someone is just by how much they put themselves out there. My friend has a bunch of those social networking sites, which told me she is a very open person -- which I, personally, respect. I struggle finding friends who are closed-up and boring.

[DanPiazza]

i wish i wasn't still keeping you all waiting. tonight's the night. dinner with her then the party.

[staciebx0]

gooodd luck :)

[eriatarka24]

I wonder what happened... :/

[JoshSalas]

I wonder what happened... :/

With luck they are both just waking up now lawwwls.

[Theseventhson]

Saturday morning came and went.

[And Hours Pass]

No closure...

[DanPiazza]

ok i'm here. so she doesn't have a boyfriend. i don't know who the guy from facebook is, but i know she's not with anyone right now. we made out at the party, so i'm just gonna keep working on her, and keep taking her out. maybe something can come from it soon.

[eriatarka24]

Damn. Well that really was confusing.

Maybe that guy from Facebook really is some gay guy she knows then. X-)

[DanPiazza]

everyone wanted closure, and here it is...kinda, haha. too bad no one's checking the thread anymore. idk if this girl is worth the trouble, especially since we're going home for break in a week, and we live 2 hours apart. things might die over the next month, idk.

[splitsecond]

if you think break is going to ice an attraction then there isnt one to begin with

[DanPiazza]

if you think break is going to ice an attraction then there isnt one to begin with

it won't break it for me, but you might be right about her.

[splitsecond]

it won't break it for me, but you might be right about her.

then as I said, she is not worth it.

[YeahRiight]

See what else they have written to each other, look at the photos they have together. If you're gonna use Facebook to stalk people, at least do it right!!

[wroteurname]

You kids are gonna get married. Great story to tell the grandkids someday.

[Mibabalou]

happened to me not cool

[sokonfused]

See what else they have written to each other, look at the photos they have together. If you're gonna use Facebook to stalk people, at least do it right!!
haha. i'm with this guy. before you do anything, just delve a little deeper. investigate a little bit more. no harm in some light fb stalking. lol

[ted is lying]

One of my friend hooked up with this girl a few times, then she added him on facebook and she had a boyfriend. He stopped seeing her but when anyone sees her at a party she is always hooking up with someone. Poor poor boyfriend...

[DanPiazza]

haha. i'm with this guy. before you do anything, just delve a little deeper. investigate a little bit more. no harm in some light fb stalking. lol

i'm not friends with the guy though, so i can't see wall to wall. pictures would take some stalking though, so maybe haha. it's finals week now though, so i'm focusing on my grades, not her.

[cshadows2887]

i'm not friends with the guy though, so i can't see wall to wall. pictures would take some stalking though, so maybe haha. it's finals week now though, so i'm focusing on my grades, not her.

It's called multi-tasking, my friend. One of the many handy skills you pick up in college.

[Trioxide]

Sounds like a gay best friend to me. If they're really dating, I doubt she'd be fake engaged to him on facebook. You don't joke about that with someone you're actually involed with. And does anyone really call their girlfriend babycakes?

agreed. sounds exactly like my gay facebook husband and i.

just go for her and who cares who she has back home.

[DanPiazza]

so i guess i'll update this...or maybe make a new thread if no one sees it.

so we talked a lot before the new year, even though she's two hours away. i was pretty drunk on new years, and she asked if i had gotten a new years kiss when she texted me. i said something like "no, but it could have been you." she didn't reply to that, or anything the day after. so i just let it go for a few days. i tried contacting her again yesterday, but could't. i know her roommate, so i asked her if she'd been around. she said yeah, she's just been busy. so still no contact with her since new years. guess i'm back to square one.