I need some medical advice. For my groinal region.

[zac_montucky]

This is totally serious. I think I'm experiencing some testicular torsion. There was no blunt trauma, but righty is in a lot of pain and I think it's starting to swell. I checked webMD, but they were no help, so I need some advice on short term care till I can get to the doctor tomorrow.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Pre-med students maybe?

[ted is lying]

Blueballs?

[zac_montucky]

Blueballs?

I suppose that could be a possibility, but I've been home alone all day, it's just righty, and this doesn't feel like blueball pain.

[ted is lying]

Well as far as I see it you have two options
1 Grab a gun aim at foot, shoot foot.
2 Go to ER

[katiep1088]

Put some ice on it...?

[zac_montucky]

I guess I'll go with the gun then. I have a ton around my house, so I'll be fine.
The nearest hospital is 25 miles away :/

[ted is lying]

Im glad I helped just remember after doing that, move to plan 2.

[zac_montucky]

Will do.

[Brand-new-123]

I would never ever ever come to the AP PL forum to ask for serious medical advice. Go to a doctor.

[sleepyseanzzz]

seriously if you take small hits over time you might build up scar tissue that could close off passageways that should be open

[Meeze]

I would never ever ever come to the AP PL forum to ask for serious medical advice. Go to a doctor.

this

[pr0digy]

I would never ever ever come to the AP PL forum to ask for serious medical advice. Go to a doctor.

Desperate times call for desperate measures? If this has lasted a long time if you can afford the ER I'd do that, otherwise maybe ice and some advil til you see the doc in the morning.

[TheLoyalVox]

Get to the doctor ASAP.

[.invisible ink.]

Isn't it possible that it's a hernia? You need to go to the hospital and get that checked out. good luck.

[bladerdude360]

...

[Brand-new-123]

You have testicular cancer and the likelihood of survival is 13%. Sorry that I had to break it to you.

[yves.]

why do people come here for medical advice? i mean... how many registered AP users have their Ph.D?

[Andy Young]

I don't have insurance so I can sympathize with trying to put off medical care if possible. But if my 'nads are in trouble I'm immediately going to the ER, insured or not.

[Knatuhlee]

This is totally serious. I think I'm experiencing some testicular torsion. There was no blunt trauma, but righty is in a lot of pain and I think it's starting to swell. I checked webMD, but they were no help, so I need some advice on short term care till I can get to the doctor tomorrow.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Pre-med students maybe?

as weird as this is gonna sound, i just had to say it:

you live in montana. i live in montana.
my mother is urologist. (aka a dictor, or cockdock us loving childern love to call her)
maybe my mother will be the one to fix you...
weird. :/

[bladerdude360]

why do people come here for medical advice? i mean... how many registered AP users have their Ph.D?
I don't think having a Ph.D. is really going to help a kid with a medical problem. Just sayin'.

[bladerdude360]

as weird as this is gonna sound, i just had to say it:

you live in montana. i live in montana.
my mother is urologist. (aka a dictor, or cockdock us loving childern love to call her)
maybe my mother will be the one to fix you...
weird. :/
Haha when she's taking a history of her patients you should make sure she asks "are you a registered user of AP.net? If so, what is your username?"

[Carolina.Alex]

as weird as this is gonna sound, i just had to say it:

you live in montana. i live in montana.
my mother is urologist. (aka a dictor, or cockdock us loving childern love to call her)
maybe my mother will be the one to fix you...
weird. :/



You should put aside your uneasy feelings and ask the dictor what medical advice she would give this kid. Just a thought.

[zac_montucky]

I would never ever ever come to the AP PL forum to ask for serious medical advice. Go to a doctor.

25 miles away. At night. On frozen mountain roads. I can wait a day.

[zac_montucky]

as weird as this is gonna sound, i just had to say it:

you live in montana. i live in montana.
my mother is urologist. (aka a dictor, or cockdock us loving childern love to call her)
maybe my mother will be the one to fix you...
weird. :/

Please ask the dictor. I can't afford to try to drive to the hospital right now.
I just want to know what I can do to tide it over and not hurt it anymore till tomorrow.

[Sventhegreat]

why do people come here for medical advice? i mean... how many registered AP users have their Ph.D?

12% actually. Look it up.

[BalancingacT]

Aha! I can help!

I've had some minor issues with that. It rarely happens anymore, but for a few years up until about a year ago I used to torse (?) up a lot, and it sucked. My doctor said it could've been just still a part of puberty and to see if it'd go away, and sure enough...

But by now, if it's just starting...I don't know. You'll probably have to go to a doctor. They can do this nifty lil surgery where they make that go away. Of course then you have to tell all your friends you had ball surgery. Then you're That Guy. But if you don't get it treated, apparently it's possible to lose that nut. So then you still have ball surgery.

See a doctor.

[Knatuhlee]

Please ask the dictor. I can't afford to try to drive to the hospital right now.
I just want to know what I can do to tide it over and not hurt it anymore till tomorrow.

i asked the dictor. she said there is nothing you can do, but go to the doctor. but she said if it hurts really bad put some ice on it and hold out through the night. but if the roads are as shitty as they are here in missoula, i wouldnt even try and drive. which sucks, i am sorry dude.

[zac_montucky]

i asked the dictor. she said there is nothing you can do, but go to the doctor. but she said if it hurts really bad put some ice on it and hold out through the night. but if the roads are as shitty as they are here in missoula, i wouldnt even try and drive. which sucks, i am sorry dude.

They're worse actually :( at least, thats what my friends at UM said.

[kerropi]

Ha.

[zac_montucky]

Aha! I can help!

I've had some minor issues with that. It rarely happens anymore, but for a few years up until about a year ago I used to torse (?) up a lot, and it sucked. My doctor said it could've been just still a part of puberty and to see if it'd go away, and sure enough...

But by now, if it's just starting...I don't know. You'll probably have to go to a doctor. They can do this nifty lil surgery where they make that go away. Of course then you have to tell all your friends you had ball surgery. Then you're That Guy. But if you don't get it treated, apparently it's possible to lose that nut. So then you still have ball surgery.

See a doctor.

Hey, if nut surgery is good enough for Lance Armstrong, it's good enough for me. Maybe I'll win the Tour de France!

[Knatuhlee]

They're worse actually :( at least, thats what my friends at UM said.

oh damn that sucks, they must be REALLY bad then!! so where is jefferson city? cant say i have heard of it before, and i have lived in missoula my whole life.

[zac_montucky]

It's about 25 miles south of Helena and 35 north of Butte. It's literally just one street, a bar, and a post office. Which is why you haven't heard of it.
I wouldn't recommend it haha

[tawtaw]

This is totally serious. I think I'm experiencing some testicular torsion. There was no blunt trauma, but righty is in a lot of pain and I think it's starting to swell. I checked webMD, but they were no help, so I need some advice on short term care till I can get to the doctor tomorrow.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Pre-med students maybe?

Some dude on this podcast I watch was talking about how he had ball cancer and what you're saying sounds sort of like what he described when he was asked how it felt before he knew he had it.

Not to scare you or anything, just sayin'.

[Brand-new-123]

It's about 25 miles south of Helena and 35 north of Butte. It's literally just one street, a bar, and a post office. Which is why you haven't heard of it.
I wouldn't recommend it haha
Why on earth would anyone want to live there?

[TheByrus]

Sounds like they might have to amputate.

[zac_montucky]

Why on earth would anyone want to live there?

I can only assume because it's a physical manifestation of their self loathing. Also, it's cheap.
But I need to get the fuck out of there. It's an unfathomably terrible town.

[Knatuhlee]

It's about 25 miles south of Helena and 35 north of Butte. It's literally just one street, a bar, and a post office. Which is why you haven't heard of it.
I wouldn't recommend it haha

ewwww... that sounds awful. nothing good comes from butte. and only one good thing has come from helena, goodnight sunrise.
other than that. dude.... i am sorry. i honestly feel bad for you. hahaha.

[zac_montucky]

ewwww... that sounds awful. nothing good comes from butte. and only one good thing has come from helena, goodnight sunrise.
other than that. dude.... i am sorry. i honestly feel bad for you. hahaha.

Oh, Butte is fucking magical. Drunk hobos hitting on you, fecal matter raining down from the rooftops, just an overall classy town.
And actually, two good things came from Helena. And sadly, GS isn't one of them. They used to be such good guys, and very legit musically, but I've known them forever, and they basically sell out to whatever trend gives them the best chance to make money :( and everyone but Sam is pompous. It sucks, they used to be the nicest guys :(

[AndrewIcex]

Ha.
For some reason, in the context of the thread, this was a hilarious post.

[zac_montucky]

For some reason, in the context of the thread, this was a hilarious post.

I actually agree.

[Knatuhlee]

Oh, Butte is fucking magical. Drunk hobos hitting on you, fecal matter raining down from the rooftops, just an overall classy town.
And actually, two good things came from Helena. And sadly, GS isn't one of them. They used to be such good guys, and very legit musically, but I've known them forever, and they basically sell out to whatever trend gives them the best chance to make money :( and everyone but Sam is pompous. It sucks, they used to be the nicest guys :(

um yes, i will agree on the fact they USED to be the nicest guys ever. i have know them for about two years, and you know what, 2 years ago they were all awesome guys, but now, um not so much, justin is the only nice one to me now. and sam is the biggest douche to me. :/ but i really, really just like there music. and i am quite entertained by "mashin titties" .

[zac_montucky]

um yes, i will agree on the fact they USED to be the nicest guys ever. i have know them for about two years, and you know what, 2 years ago they were all awesome guys, but now, um not so much, justin is the only nice one to me now. and sam is the biggest douche to me. :/ but i really, really just like there music. and i am quite entertained by "mashin titties" .

Haha, that's the exact opposite with me. Sam's always been great to me, and even though I've known Justin longest, he's a huge prick to me. I'm forced to assume it's because I don't have a vagina.
I think their best cd was the last one as driven under. The new ep just doesn't do it for me though. It just seems so blatantly pandering to teen girls. I can see what people like about it though, so maybe it's just me :shrug:

[Knatuhlee]

haha, but you see i really enjoy the generic teeny bopper power pop stuff. so its perfect for me! but as the for the driven under cd, i actually have it. when i was sophmore in high school i saw them and bought it. then totally forgot about them and it. so when they started doin shows in missoula every month i realized it was them i saw all those years ago. and listened to it, and i got a good laugh from it. just because its funny to see how much they have changed. and dans voice cracks me up on that cd.
and as far as justin goes... yes that is a great assumption.

[zac_montucky]

haha, but you see i really enjoy the generic teeny bopper power pop stuff. so its perfect for me! but as the for the driven under cd, i actually have it. when i was sophmore in high school i saw them and bought it. then totally forgot about them and it. so when they started doin shows in missoula every month i realized it was them i saw all those years ago. and listened to it, and i got a good laugh from it. just because its funny to see how much they have changed. and dans voice cracks me up on that cd.
and as far as justin goes... yes that is a great assumption.

If you think that one's funny, you should hear the very first ep they ever put out. You can't even tell it's them haha. Very grungy.

And, yeah, I had a feeling I was right about him.

[CTMarshall]

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061206160845AAS3NuJ

[Deadbolt23]

Pretty sure it's lupus.

[denissuxx]

stop jacking off

[abcdefghijake]

stop jacking off

or start.

[denissuxx]

or start.

well aren't you playful

[abcdefghijake]

well aren't you playful
Your username sucks

[Smeee]

Ask your mum to have a look at it for you.

[ReadyForAction]

Fap until your hands bleed

[denissuxx]

Your username sucks

lol

[Ryan Mills]

This is totally serious. I think I'm experiencing some testicular torsion. There was no blunt trauma, but righty is in a lot of pain and I think it's starting to swell. I checked webMD, but they were no help, so I need some advice on short term care till I can get to the doctor tomorrow.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Pre-med students maybe?

Well if it's torsion, you seriously risk your testicle by not going to the ER immediately, depending on how much residual blood supply you have. Here is a short excerpt describing testicular torsion from Schwartz's Principles of Surgery - 8th Ed. (2005):


Testicular Torsion

Testicular torsion occurs when the testicle rotates and strangulates its blood supply at the level of the spermatic cord. Testicular torsion is a medical emergency that requires prompt surgical attention. Torsion occurring in the neonatal and prenatal period is extravaginal—the testicle and both layers of the tunica vaginalis rotate. Testicular torsion in neonates may not produce symptoms and is usually only noted after the testicle has atrophied. Torsion in children and young adults is intravaginal—the testicle and the inner layer of the tunica vaginalis rotate (Fig. 39-40).

Intravaginal torsion is most common in 12- to 18-year-olds, with peak incidence at age 13 years. In patients at risk for intravaginal torsion, the tunica attaches higher up on the spermatic cord (bell clapper deformity) and the cremasteric muscle inserts obliquely on the cord. As a result, the testicle has a horizontal lie when the patient is standing. It is believed that contraction of the cremasteric muscle initiates the characteristic rotation seen in torsion. From the examining physician's perspective, the patient's left testicle rotates counterclockwise and the right testicle rotates clockwise.

Adolescents presenting with testicular torsion complain of severe pain. The differential diagnosis includes epididymo-orchitis and torsion of the appendix testis. Epididymo-orchitis is rare in adolescents and is accompanied by pyuria. Torsion of the appendix testis produces a more focal area of pain and often a bluish discoloration can be appreciated in the scrotum over the testicular appendage. When evaluating a patient with torsion, manual detorsion can be attempted. If this fails, the patient should be immediately taken to the operating room.

Surgery performed within 4 to 6 hours of onset of pain has better than a 90% testicular salvage rate. Therefore, unless the evidence for a competing diagnosis is overwhelming, surgery should not be delayed by diagnostic studies. At the time of surgery, an orchiopexy should be performed by fixing the testicle to the scrotal wall at three different points. The anatomic predisposition to torsion affects both testicles; therefore, the contralateral testicle should be similarly repaired. In select cases where the diagnosis is uncertain and testicular torsion is unlikely, Doppler ultrasound or nuclear scintigraphy can be performed to more definitively rule out testicular torsion.

[BalancingacT]

Hey, if nut surgery is good enough for Lance Armstrong, it's good enough for me. Maybe I'll win the Tour de France!
That's too glass-half-full. Let's say that you have to be a world-dominating athlete to be proud of ball surgery.

[vrocker2007]

This is totally serious. I think I'm experiencing some testicular torsion. There was no blunt trauma, but righty is in a lot of pain and I think it's starting to swell. I checked webMD, but they were no help, so I need some advice on short term care till I can get to the doctor tomorrow.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Pre-med students maybe?



Uh...do you have an active sex life? If so, when was the last time you had sex? Ok, its possible that its a complication from a Urinary Tract Infrection known as Epididymitis.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epididymitis


Easily treatable, they will most likely give you Doxycycline.


Whether its torsion or this, see a urologist as soon as you are able to.

[alltimecam]

I want to hear what happened to this poor man

[Jennurna Gray]

House is going to be on Family Guy tonight.

[tmvbass]

Ball Surgery isn't so bad. I had testicular cancer recently. At one point I had some pain in said testicle but it went away. A few months later I found out.

[kerropi]

I actually agree.

For some reason, in the context of the thread, this was a hilarious post.
Yay.
Actually I have nothing clever to say, I am on zero brain energy after studying all day.

[AndrewIcex]

Yay.
Actually I have nothing clever to say, I am on zero brain energy after studying all day.
You're excused.

[ActionActionFan]

What happened?

[kerropi]

What happened?

I was just going to ask that.

[zac_montucky]

And the winner of the First (and hopefully last) Annual "What Happened To Zac's Nut?" Sweepstakes is.....


vrocker2007!

It is indeed epididymitis, and I've got some antibiotics and some very helpful codeine.
The odd part is that the infection is most common in people who are sexually active and I just so happen to be a virgin. But, that is another mystery for another day,

For now, I award vrocker2007 +37 interwebz points and this picture of Gary Busey:

http://pinstripebindi.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/gary-busey-evicted.jpg

Congrats, fine sir.

[chassmariee]

Omg, goneria.

[liveloud4life]

I had a friend get that exact same thing with those exact same symptoms last year and he pretty much just went missing from school for like 3 days and came back with that same horror story. Btw, he's most definitely a virgin also.