This is a toughy

[sweetforever]

Alright, this is kinda the last resort for me when it comes to advice on this topic. I've talked to almost everyone I know and yet, I need more advice. Here it goes:

My girlfriend and I broke up in February '06 cause it was hard with me being away at college and her staying home to go to community college. Anyways, it was one of the toughest things I've ever been through in my life. This girl is my everything, she was "that" girl for me if you know what I'm saying. Initially it was just supposed to "break" between us, just so we can take some time for ourselves, but obviously that wasn't the case.

So I come home for Spring Break and I wanted to talk to her and tell her that I hooked-up with another girl after we had broken up and how guilty and terrible I felt for it. I was actually picturing my gf's face while kissing her. Anyways, she says no she doesn't want to talk to me and the whole ten yards. But yet, she always finds a way to bring my name up somehow ( * we have the same group of friends*) like she'll be like " oh god, he just annoys the hell out of me" but yet I stay out of her way and dont talk to her (talking to her is hard enough as it is). I ran into at Target and I said hi and what not and she said hi, and supposedly I had gotten up in her face, but I dont think I did. So she calls my friend Justin and tells him what happens and she goes over his house and curls up on his couch and just starts ballin' her eyes out. I have no idea why.

I had sent her an email telling her that I missed her and she is always on my mind (this was during the break) and supposedly that pushed her over the edge and she felt pressured by me to make up her mind. I come to find out she called my friend Justin later on that week and told him that she misses me.

There's more to the story, but I don't wanna bore you guys with it, but here's one thing I can't understand with her. She calls me "immature" but yet, I don't talk to her, I stay out of her way and everything. The last time we had an actual conversation was in April. I usually talk to her friends about the situation and I guess she found out or something, and says " if he has something he wants to say to me, he should say it to me" but then says " but I have nothing to say to him". Now does that make sense to anyone? She wants me to talk to her but yet she has nothing to say to me?

I just don't know what to do. Like I said, this girl is "that" girl for me. I loved her and I miss her so much and I try to move on but yet, I always find myself thinking about her. Can someone, peferably a girl, make some sense of what shes doing? Opinions and advice are more than welcome.

Sorry for spilling my guts but I had to give you guys the details. Thanks.

[thursdayx20]

Best option: kill yourself. That always works for me.

[sweetforever]

Best option: kill yourself. That always works for me.

I'll think about that, but I'm leaning towards no. Thanks though

[swirlofhues]

i'd hate to be that girl. if it was you that suggested the break then i can see why she's being really irrational in the way she wants to handle things with you. she's probably angry over how you called the break. i mean, no matter what you say, the thought that you might've wanted something better in college probably crossed her mind when you suggested it (or the thought that you did find something better, etc).

just really push to talk to her about it because that's what she wants.

[bobbo8]

Try having the same thing except you broke up in September 05.

[matt_rawlings]

I say break dance

[A picasso blue]

have you tried HeadOn? you should really try HeadOn

[popdisaster00]

well dude i'm sorry for what's going on. i'd say try to do something cute that brings up a memory of when you and her first started dating, like something that could remind her of your guys' first date. and let her know once and for all how much you love her and how you can't live without her and how she's "that' girl for you. if all of that fails, then maybe it's just not meant to be.

[xTJx]

Rufie that bitch, and totally degrate her. I'm talking about nailing her, cuming all over her face, taking pictures then leaving her naked passed out by some daycare centre. Yeah.

[sweetforever]

The idea of taking the break was a mutual thing, we both decided it was a good idea, because at the time, our relationship wasn't like it used to be. but yet, I always had the thought of this "break" being temporary and that we would get eventually get back together, well obviously that's not how it happened. I've tried talking to her, but she doesn't want anything to do with me. This girl means so much to me and I can't understand how she can just throw away everything we had so easily.

[FondestMemory]

have you tried HeadOn? you should really try HeadOn

apply directly to forehead!!!! greatest commercial ever.

but to the topic at hand:

dude, man up. stop trying to make sense of it. 98% of the time in this kind of situation the girl makes no sense anyway. trying to make sense out of something there's no sense behind will just be unneccesarily painful and get you nowhere.

i think the best advice is to cut your losses and move on. but i understand if you're having trouble doing that. my next best advice would be stop talking about her. you know whatever you say is going to get back to her. you're playing into her hands. never bring her up among the mutual friends. it'll eventually get back to her that you don't talk about her. she'll either be happy and you'll get over it and both live happily ever after apart. or it'll eat her up that you don't talk about her anymore and she'll come crying back to you asking why you don't love her anymore.

play coy man. you don't need her. at least, you don't need to let your friends know that you need her, therefore letting her know that you still need her.

just try a break from pouring yourself out to her, indirectly. give her space. that may be all she needs.

[sweetforever]

apply directly to forehead!!!! greatest commercial ever.

but to the topic at hand:

dude, man up. stop trying to make sense of it. 98% of the time in this kind of situation the girl makes no sense anyway. trying to make sense out of something there's no sense behind will just be unneccesarily painful and get you nowhere.

i think the best advice is to cut your losses and move on. but i understand if you're having trouble doing that. my next best advice would be stop talking about her. you know whatever you say is going to get back to her. you're playing into her hands. never bring her up among the mutual friends. it'll eventually get back to her that you don't talk about her. she'll either be happy and you'll get over it and both live happily ever after apart. or it'll eat her up that you don't talk about her anymore and she'll come crying back to you asking why you don't love her anymore.

play coy man. you don't need her. at least, you don't need to let your friends know that you need her, therefore letting her know that you still need her.

just try a break from pouring yourself out to her, indirectly. give her space. that may be all she needs.


yeah I've been trying to do that. and at one point it did work, cause she actually started up a conversation with me, this was back in April. but hey, it was something, you know. thanks for the advice and what not guys.

[splitsecond]

Women are fucking crazy, and the height of their craziness is from 18-20. There will be no logic to it. She may want to be with you, but a lot of shit goes through girls heads at that age for different reasons, so my advice is to back off and see what happens in a year or two.

[Jra1]

yup, solution seems obvious... steer clear for a while, only good things can come of it:

1)you both move on, you eventually realised she's a complete nutbar and let out a long sigh of relief.
2)she crawls back after realising herself that she is infact a complete nutbar, and you go back to happy times.

[Vicky82]

alright advice from a girl! She's being stubborn....show up at her house and force her to talk to you...if she says she has nothing to say spill your guts cause she's just scared. She's scared and mad because you two went on a break and now she is confused about whether you really want to be with her. Seriously quick wondering about her and just go talk to her cause it sounds like she wont be making the first move

[Shatter590]

reason #465 why i plan to stay single

[Blake Solomon]

yup, solution seems obvious... steer clear for a while, only good things can come of it:

1)you both move on, you eventually realised she's a complete nutbar and let out a long sigh of relief.
2)she crawls back after realising herself that she is infact a complete nutbar, and you go back to happy times.


I agree with this. I try to just ignore, but then I get messages that say, "why dont you talk to me anymore? Don't be a baby." So, if this girl isnt completely crazy, something good will come of it. In my case though, she is insane, says she misses me, yet has been through three boyfriends since me. Good luck

[sweetforever]

yeah. But I've tried talking to her, but she turns everything into an arguement. I got drunk at a party we were both at a couple weeks back and she overheard me jokingly "threatening" our friends. the next morning i heard she told one of my friends that i was being a dick n being ridiculous. I thought I had said something to her, which I didnt, it was just the shit I said to my friends. So I apologized to her and all she says is " I don't want or need your apology..." so I'm like what the fuck.

* jokingly threatening, as in I would threaten to punch them or something, and then just laugh it off after I said it*

[reeef]

that is fucked up. its none of my bussiness, but how do you love someone like that?

[sweetforever]

that is fucked up. its none of my bussiness, but how do you love someone like that?

its an easy answer. She's the love of my life and I love everything about her. I just love her, besides all this crap, I still love her

[gillianhsieh]

Women are fucking crazy, and the height of their craziness is from 18-20. There will be no logic to it. She may want to be with you, but a lot of shit goes through girls heads at that age for different reasons, so my advice is to back off and see what happens in a year or two.

omg you're so right. i was crazy from 18 to 20! i'm not even being sarcastic, girls are psycho between 18 and 20, and by psycho i mean ragingly unreasonable, so i dunno... usually you just have to pander to girls and pay some lip service, tell them what they want to hear, blah blah blah

[gillianhsieh]

its an easy answer. She's the love of my life and I love everything about her. I just love her, besides all this crap, I still love her

i feel like if i were her, i think she's really insecure, and ignoring her isn't really the answer, if you want to get back w/ her. like she's being hyper-defensive because she's been hurt. maybe just ask her what she wants you to do?

[sweetforever]

i feel like if i were her, i think she's really insecure, and ignoring her isn't really the answer, if you want to get back w/ her. like she's being hyper-defensive because she's been hurt. maybe just ask her what she wants you to do?

good call. I'll try that and see what happens