williamnot
06/26/06, 09:35 AM
Hello. This is my fist post of lyrics on here and hopefully not the last unless you all drive me away because you can't stand my work or something... which I sort of hope doesn't happen =]
However, this is not a post of my first lyrics so please be kind. I am posting these because as I have read from the regulars that critique the poetry and lyrics on here constructive criticism is given. Although I don't intend to change these right now it's still interesting to see what people think so that I can possibly improve on future work.
Enough of me talking though..
This one was co-written by myself and the pianist/vocalist in my band.
History Marked In Broken Asphalt
Missed stop signs and yellow lights,
could run us off the dead end.
Bury this accident to the backseat,
and drive somewhere else.
The questions asked, the steps retraced,
(the problem solved, errors erased; )
I saw through the smile, read between the lines,
(on your chest where the scarlet letter shines)
brake lights warned us to yield,
but we're accelerating faster, faster.
The brakes are shattered, the seatbelts torn,
the doors wide open, the tires worn;
riding on the shoulder, crossing over lanes;
the skidmark trails are the only guidelines
But it's just like I said it would be
we're at the mercy of opposing cars
and we're just slaves to the windshield
that would tear us apart
We dress the streets in wedding veils
torn like the seams of our seatbelts
burn your beauty with streams of fire
from head on collisions and screaming tires.
Are headlights shining in the open,
or are engines drowning in the sea?
Regret is the water that will drown us
Our lifejackets will be our belief
Follow the road to the steering wheel,
to my fingertips to these vibrating strings,
(listen to the pulse in the stereo.)
Swift like a shark it goes straight to your heart.
Halfway to Jersey and
we're running out of gas
as the asphalt wears down,
should we hold tight or just let go?
We dress the streets in wedding veils
torn like the seams of our seatbelts
burn your beauty with streams of fire
from head on collisions and screaming tires.
Are headlights shining in the open,
or are engines drowning in the sea?
Regret is the water that will drown us
Our lifejackets will be our belief
The fog is thick (too thick to see)
Is this how we planned it to be?
The street lights will send you to sleep
we've dug a hole six inches deep
From the 5th of November to the emergency room
and what the ambulance sirens were trying to prove
I think... If I were to give any comment on these from the writer's viewpoint it would be that these are quite (over)dramatic and would qualify as "emo" (?) :-D
Criticism welcome!
However, this is not a post of my first lyrics so please be kind. I am posting these because as I have read from the regulars that critique the poetry and lyrics on here constructive criticism is given. Although I don't intend to change these right now it's still interesting to see what people think so that I can possibly improve on future work.
Enough of me talking though..
This one was co-written by myself and the pianist/vocalist in my band.
History Marked In Broken Asphalt
Missed stop signs and yellow lights,
could run us off the dead end.
Bury this accident to the backseat,
and drive somewhere else.
The questions asked, the steps retraced,
(the problem solved, errors erased; )
I saw through the smile, read between the lines,
(on your chest where the scarlet letter shines)
brake lights warned us to yield,
but we're accelerating faster, faster.
The brakes are shattered, the seatbelts torn,
the doors wide open, the tires worn;
riding on the shoulder, crossing over lanes;
the skidmark trails are the only guidelines
But it's just like I said it would be
we're at the mercy of opposing cars
and we're just slaves to the windshield
that would tear us apart
We dress the streets in wedding veils
torn like the seams of our seatbelts
burn your beauty with streams of fire
from head on collisions and screaming tires.
Are headlights shining in the open,
or are engines drowning in the sea?
Regret is the water that will drown us
Our lifejackets will be our belief
Follow the road to the steering wheel,
to my fingertips to these vibrating strings,
(listen to the pulse in the stereo.)
Swift like a shark it goes straight to your heart.
Halfway to Jersey and
we're running out of gas
as the asphalt wears down,
should we hold tight or just let go?
We dress the streets in wedding veils
torn like the seams of our seatbelts
burn your beauty with streams of fire
from head on collisions and screaming tires.
Are headlights shining in the open,
or are engines drowning in the sea?
Regret is the water that will drown us
Our lifejackets will be our belief
The fog is thick (too thick to see)
Is this how we planned it to be?
The street lights will send you to sleep
we've dug a hole six inches deep
From the 5th of November to the emergency room
and what the ambulance sirens were trying to prove
I think... If I were to give any comment on these from the writer's viewpoint it would be that these are quite (over)dramatic and would qualify as "emo" (?) :-D
Criticism welcome!