TJ Wells
06/28/06, 08:45 PM
Chasing Amy has two of the best monologues i've ever heard in any movie, and I was just curious which one was your favorite, Affleck (http://new.wavlist.com/movies/052/ca-iloveyou.wav)'s or Smith (http://new.wavlist.com/movies/052/ca-chasingamy.wav)'s? You can listen to 'em by clicking the names, or read them below:
Affleck
Holden ... "I love you, and not, not in a friendly way although I think we're great friends, and not in a misplaced affection puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the, the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is, is, is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider but I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore, I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are, . And I know this will probably queer our friendship, no pun intended, but I had to say it. Because I've never felt this way before, and I, I don't care, I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome. Which, by the look on your face, is to be the inevitable ... shoot-down. And, ya know, , I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment. And if there's a moment of hesitation then that means you feel something too. And all I ask please is that you just, you just, not dismiss that. And try to dwell on it, for just, ten seconds. God. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you. And I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, ya know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me. Which, while I do appreciate it, I'd never need a painting of at a diner to remind me of."
Smith
Silent Bob ... "Chasin' Amy."
Holden ... "What? What did you say?"
Silent Bob ... "You're chasing Amy."
Jay ... "What do you look so shocked for,man, fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just because he don't say anything, it'll have some huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth."
Silent Bob ... "Jesus Christ, why don't you shut-up? Always yap-yap-yappin all th' time, gimme a fuckin' headache. I went through somethin' like what you're talkin' about, couple o' years ago, with this chick named Amy."
Jay ... "When?"
Silent Bob ... " A couple o' years ago."
Jay ... "Whad'she live in Canada or somethin'? Why don't I remember this?"
Silent Bob ... "Bitch, what you don't know about me I could just about squeeze into the Grand fuckin' Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas? Huh? Bet you didn't even know that shit, did you?"
Jay ... "Just play your fuckin' story so we can get outta here and smoke this."
Silent Bob ... "So there's me and Amy, and we're all inseperable, right, just big-time in love.Then four months down the road the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend, which, as we all know, is a really dumb move, but, you know how it is, you don't wanna know but ya just have to know, right? Stupid guy-bullshit. so anyway she starts tellin me about him, how they fell in love and how they went out for a couple o' years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...and I'm okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: It seems that a couple of times while they were goin' out, he brought some people to bed with them. Manage a tro, I believe it's called. now this just blows my mind, right, I mean I am not used to this sort of thing, I mean I was raised Catholic for God's sakes."
Jay ... "Same shit head."
Silent Bob ... "Do somethin. So I'm totally wierded out by this right? And I just start blastin' her, like I don't know how to deal with what I'm feelin' so I figure the best way is if I call her a slut right and tell her she was used, I'm, I'm out for blood, I really want to hurt this girl. I'm like, "What th' fuck is your problem?", right? And she's just all calmly tryin to tell me like it was that time and it was that place, and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong, I'm like OH really? That's when I look her straight in the eye, I tell 'er it's over. I walk."
Jay ... "Fuckin A."
Silent Bob ... "No, idiot, it was a mistake.I wasn't disgusted with her. I was afraid. You know at that moment I felt small, like, like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level, like I'd never be enough for her, or somthin like that, you know what I'm sayin? But what I did not get was she didn't care, she wasn't lookin for that guy anymore, she was, she was lookin for me, for, for the Bob, but ah by the time I'd figured this all out it was too late, man, she'd moved on and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride which then gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now, But...I pushed her away. So I've spent everyday since then chasin Amy. So to speak.
Jay ... "Enough of the fuckin melodrama. My advice, forget er dude. There's just one bitch in the world. One bitch with many faces."
Affleck
Holden ... "I love you, and not, not in a friendly way although I think we're great friends, and not in a misplaced affection puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the, the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is, is, is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider but I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore, I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are, . And I know this will probably queer our friendship, no pun intended, but I had to say it. Because I've never felt this way before, and I, I don't care, I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome. Which, by the look on your face, is to be the inevitable ... shoot-down. And, ya know, , I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment. And if there's a moment of hesitation then that means you feel something too. And all I ask please is that you just, you just, not dismiss that. And try to dwell on it, for just, ten seconds. God. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you. And I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, ya know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me. Which, while I do appreciate it, I'd never need a painting of at a diner to remind me of."
Smith
Silent Bob ... "Chasin' Amy."
Holden ... "What? What did you say?"
Silent Bob ... "You're chasing Amy."
Jay ... "What do you look so shocked for,man, fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just because he don't say anything, it'll have some huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth."
Silent Bob ... "Jesus Christ, why don't you shut-up? Always yap-yap-yappin all th' time, gimme a fuckin' headache. I went through somethin' like what you're talkin' about, couple o' years ago, with this chick named Amy."
Jay ... "When?"
Silent Bob ... " A couple o' years ago."
Jay ... "Whad'she live in Canada or somethin'? Why don't I remember this?"
Silent Bob ... "Bitch, what you don't know about me I could just about squeeze into the Grand fuckin' Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas? Huh? Bet you didn't even know that shit, did you?"
Jay ... "Just play your fuckin' story so we can get outta here and smoke this."
Silent Bob ... "So there's me and Amy, and we're all inseperable, right, just big-time in love.Then four months down the road the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend, which, as we all know, is a really dumb move, but, you know how it is, you don't wanna know but ya just have to know, right? Stupid guy-bullshit. so anyway she starts tellin me about him, how they fell in love and how they went out for a couple o' years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...and I'm okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: It seems that a couple of times while they were goin' out, he brought some people to bed with them. Manage a tro, I believe it's called. now this just blows my mind, right, I mean I am not used to this sort of thing, I mean I was raised Catholic for God's sakes."
Jay ... "Same shit head."
Silent Bob ... "Do somethin. So I'm totally wierded out by this right? And I just start blastin' her, like I don't know how to deal with what I'm feelin' so I figure the best way is if I call her a slut right and tell her she was used, I'm, I'm out for blood, I really want to hurt this girl. I'm like, "What th' fuck is your problem?", right? And she's just all calmly tryin to tell me like it was that time and it was that place, and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong, I'm like OH really? That's when I look her straight in the eye, I tell 'er it's over. I walk."
Jay ... "Fuckin A."
Silent Bob ... "No, idiot, it was a mistake.I wasn't disgusted with her. I was afraid. You know at that moment I felt small, like, like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level, like I'd never be enough for her, or somthin like that, you know what I'm sayin? But what I did not get was she didn't care, she wasn't lookin for that guy anymore, she was, she was lookin for me, for, for the Bob, but ah by the time I'd figured this all out it was too late, man, she'd moved on and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride which then gave way to regret. She was the girl. I know that now, But...I pushed her away. So I've spent everyday since then chasin Amy. So to speak.
Jay ... "Enough of the fuckin melodrama. My advice, forget er dude. There's just one bitch in the world. One bitch with many faces."