Easy conversations? No such thing.

[uninspired_]

I didn't really want to start a new thread, but I didn't quite know what to search for it under, and I'm curious, so here. There's probably a few people on here who've never had a boyfriend (... or girlfriend), or done anything sexy with the gender they're into. I wanna know how people address it in social situations when it comes up. How do you mention your lack of a love life and not seem too strange? And how do people react? OR, post how you'd react? Is it weird, or not so much?

[phil19]

i dont think its that big a deal. it only becomes an issue when you lie about it. if you're honest about your lack of experience if and when it comes up, then i think theres no problem :shrug:

[tottivillarossi]

i dont think its that big a deal. it only becomes an issue when you lie about it. if you're honest about your lack of experience if and when it comes up, then i think theres no problem :shrug:
This.



Although, there's something sweet and endearing about the inexperienced girl. Maybe it's just me.

[Deadbolt23]

"I've never had a girlfriend"

I don't really see the problem here.

[Olle.89]

well, when i was 18 i had a older girlfriend and i had no experience. I thought it was a problem but she didn't think it was any. I think that is really common at the unexperienced one worry and the other dont have anything against it...you know...its probably a much bigger deal for you than for the one you gonna tell it to...and then its no problem =)

[LoginBanned]

Wait it out, as you get older you'll find people are less interested in talking/bragging about their sexual exploits.

[lumenmilitans]

some people instantly assume i have no romantic experience due to my being religious. the 'relationships' i've been in were 'fun' atm but weren't right. i just tell the people who listen what i've been through - mostly relations with older, experienced girls that almost went too far - and they usually understand why i've chosen catholicism over one-night stands/one-year relationships; i want something that lasts. that's how i'd say it/how people would react.

[Lunar]

give your boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob. That fixes all of lifes problems (for the guy at least)

[songydarko]

This was me at one point and hate to say it but I either lied (depending on the kind of people I was with), or I proudly told the truth. It's nothing to be ashamed of by any means but obviously anyone could see where it'd be awkward to be that one person in a group to say it.

[superdork]

I always big on being honest about it. Mostly people didn't care; some were suprised; and others wanted to chage that when they heard about it. haha

[Jennurna Gray]

well, when i was 18 i had a older girlfriend and i had no experience. I thought it was a problem but she didn't think it was any. I think that is really common at the unexperienced one worry and the other dont have anything against it...you know...its probably a much bigger deal for you than for the one you gonna tell it to...and then its no problem =)
You're not born with expirience. It's something to gain.

[Jennurna Gray]

Lying never helps. My first boyfriend, Rex (lol), never existed. Of course, I was like 12 but having a boyfriend/girlfriend was the cool thing to do. Nobody ever straight told me that they don't believe me, but you can read it on their faces. I'm sure I could have lied a little better, but the point is that either way, people would eventually know the truth. Just be honest; lack of expirience isn't something to be ashamed of. It's like not being good at karate, if you don't have any expirience in karate, obviously you're not going to be good at it. So what?

Edit: And Rex was also my last boyfriend, so I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND.
I've never kissed a guy either.

I still don't see a huge issue.

[warstory]

Both my roommate and my best friend are both virgins and have never had boyfriends.My rommate usually dates the same type of asshole. Most of the guys say they are cool with it when she tells them her situation but they don't last much longer after that. My best friend will go on maybe 1 or 2 dates a year but the guys are always cool with her situation. You don't need to worry about not having experience :) I think when you meet someone you really like he wil make you forget about any sort of nervousness or awkwardness.

[Jennurna Gray]

"I've never had a girlfriend"

I don't really see the problem here.
Really? You seem like the charming boyfriend type. ;]

[<*)))><]

If your good at lying it the same as telling the truth and you will have a better shot of sex till they find out but it is worth it.

[Jennurna Gray]

If your good at lying it the same as telling the truth and you will have a better shot of sex till they find out but it is worth it.
You're Ted?
Welcome back!

[Chancetobe]

Depends who I'm with. If it's friends, but they aren't my closest, I just talk about what I have done. Not what I haven't. And with guys, it's never come up, so I've never said anything.

[Deadbolt23]

Really? You seem like the charming boyfriend type. ;]

I was saying that's what I'd say.
And I'm going to ignore the sarcasm, and take that as a compliment. Thankyou very much :D

[Jennurna Gray]

I was saying that's what I'd say.
And I'm going to ignore the sarcasm, and take that as a compliment. Thankyou very much :D
No sarcasm intended, actually. You DO seem charming. I like you, boy.

[uninspired_]

And if you haven't done a whole lot? People talk about their love lives and sex a lot. I wonder if people notice when others don't say anything/ don't have any of their own stories to tell.
I always thought it was as simple as not meeting anyone you really like = not having a boyfriend. (Although I think for me it's gotten more complicated than that). I don't think everyone thinks that way though. I know people who've commented on a person being uncool in the same breath as commenting on their never having a boyfriend. Like it's related. It's not though. I see boys and girls from high school who probably weren't considered cool (whatever that means), and now they're walking around holding hands.

[Deadbolt23]

No sarcasm intended, actually. You DO seem charming. I like you, boy.

Oh wow, well then...How you doin'?

[Jennurna Gray]

:P
Good, what about you?

[raychull]

I actually think that the response of people finding out that I did have a boyfriend was more outrageous than knowing that I had never had a "real boyfriend". (first guy I ever dated, never even held his hand. enough said.)

I remember telling people about it. "You have a boyfriend? Whaaaaaat?"
Then again, I'm pretty sure half of my school's population thought I was a lesbian prior to that.

[BryterJonah]

i dont think its that big a deal. it only becomes an issue when you lie about it. if you're honest about your lack of experience if and when it comes up, then i think theres no problem :shrug:
I lack experience in mountain climbing, cavediving, and plant cultivation.

But I'm excellent in the sack.

[ilikesound93]

I was honest about it with my first "boyfriend" last year that I hadn't done anything, and he dumped me the next day because I wasn't experienced enough for him. So...

But this year I finally got the first kiss out of the way, so at least I have that.

[cdoyle7]

And if you haven't done a whole lot? People talk about their love lives and sex a lot. I wonder if people notice when others don't say anything/ don't have any of their own stories to tell.
I always thought it was as simple as not meeting anyone you really like = not having a boyfriend. (Although I think for me it's gotten more complicated than that). I don't think everyone thinks that way though. I know people who've commented on a person being uncool in the same breath as commenting on their never having a boyfriend. Like it's related. It's not though. I see boys and girls from high school who probably weren't considered cool (whatever that means), and now they're walking around holding hands.


i live with a group of girls who all constantly have boyfriends and constantly want to talk about all the sex they have had and so on. i had boyfriends in high school but since i got to college i havent found any1 who i really have any interest in, and compared to my friends i am lacking experiencing even tho i am not a virgin. i listen to their stories and just laugh, because i am very comfortable with the decisions i have made not to settle. and yes all those ppl from high school who never had boyfriends seem to be the ones madly inlove come the next summer.

when my friends talk about that stuff i listen, and laugh. if they want to know stuff about me, if its close friends who i trust, i tell them. otherwise it really isnt anyones business

[jmirand1]

Being a virgin at the age of 19 is not that big of a deal. To counter most of the advice on this forum telling you to just be honest about it, I would advise you not to tell anyone unless you want to. Your sexual (in)experience is really nobody's business but your own.

As for having never had a boyfriend, it's not that big of a deal. You would be surprised at the number of people (who are not virgins) that do not have their first serious relationship until they're in their twenties. I just graduated from college and I still haven't had one (and based on my friends' ltrs and the short-term gfs I've had in the past, I'm not looking to get involved anytime soon.)

[jmirand1]

I actually think that the response of people finding out that I did have a boyfriend was more outrageous than knowing that I had never had a "real boyfriend". (first guy I ever dated, never even held his hand. enough said.)

I remember telling people about it. "You have a boyfriend? Whaaaaaat?"
Then again, I'm pretty sure half of my school's population thought I was a lesbian prior to that.

Haha this is the same response I get from my friends whenever I have a date or they find out I hooked up with someone. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER??

[Deadbolt23]

:P
Good, what about you?

Super, tah. :D

I was honest about it with my first "boyfriend" last year that I hadn't done anything, and he dumped me the next day because I wasn't experienced enough for him. So...

But this year I finally got the first kiss out of the way, so at least I have that.

That guy is a jerk. Most people aren't like that, so I wouldn't worry about it OP.

[ohheroine]

i mean, lying is about your experience in a social situation is the worst thing you could do. I've got a guy friend, Shannon, who is absolutely beautiful and he is a virgin and is very comfortable with it. He's truthful about his lack of experience- he just hasn't found the right girl yet and everyone respects him for it. its not a bad thing at all. (he's 19)

[jon.]

I was honest about it with my first "boyfriend" last year that I hadn't done anything, and he dumped me the next day because I wasn't experienced enough for him. So...

But this year I finally got the first kiss out of the way, so at least I have that.
Not experienced enough for him? A year ago you were 15, correct?

[tottivillarossi]

Lying never helps. My first boyfriend, Rex (lol), never existed. Of course, I was like 12 but having a boyfriend/girlfriend was the cool thing to do. Nobody ever straight told me that they don't believe me, but you can read it on their faces. I'm sure I could have lied a little better, but the point is that either way, people would eventually know the truth. Just be honest; lack of expirience isn't something to be ashamed of. It's like not being good at karate, if you don't have any expirience in karate, obviously you're not going to be good at it. So what?

Edit: And Rex was also my last boyfriend, so I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND.
I've never kissed a guy either.

I still don't see a huge issue.
Lol, Rex. Why were you dating the dinosaur from Toy Story?

[deFobbed14yrs]

Lying never helps. My first boyfriend, Rex (lol), never existed. Of course, I was like 12 but having a boyfriend/girlfriend was the cool thing to do. Nobody ever straight told me that they don't believe me, but you can read it on their faces. I'm sure I could have lied a little better, but the point is that either way, people would eventually know the truth. Just be honest; lack of expirience isn't something to be ashamed of. It's like not being good at karate, if you don't have any expirience in karate, obviously you're not going to be good at it. So what?

Edit: And Rex was also my last boyfriend, so I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND.
I've never kissed a guy either.

I still don't see a huge issue.


haha did the same thing, except my fake name was ryan lol. my friends did not believe me, thankfully no one brings it up

[justletgo]

i went all throughout middle and high school without a girlfriend. half my high school even thought i was gay because i wouldn't date. i've legit had guys hit on me. but i finally tried dating when summer time came around, and that bit me in the face. so, when people ask, i just say i never had a real girlfriend before. usually people don't seem to have a problem with it as they shouldn't!

[lauren1234]

I'm always open and honest about it. I don't feel weird about it at all because I know that I just haven't found the right person and am not going to settle. If people think it's strange then so be it. Just don't ever lie about it.

[ilikesound93]

Not experienced enough for him? A year ago you were 15, correct?

Correct.

[Akissforher]

This.



Although, there's something sweet and endearing about the inexperienced girl. Maybe it's just me.

this aswell.

[sweepthenation]

I like the innocent girl alot more than the slut so just be honest

[tottivillarossi]

I like the innocent girl alot more than the slut so just be honest
We should create a club.

[sweepthenation]

We should create a club.

I mean let's be honest, get me more than buzzed and I wouldn't care (I'm a despicable drunk), but otherwise I hate that girl who just has been with it seems like someone from every friend group.

[storytelling__]

I think it just comes naturally. At some point you'll talk about it and just be honest, I understand your concerns but there's no reason to be ashamed. Maybe you'll find out people don't think it's weird, maybe you'll find people who are in the same situation as you, you don't know it because nobody likes to expose their own "issues".

[framebyframe]

I still have little experience, but I never lie about it when I'm with a guy. I think a lot of them find it refreshing. I don't find it embarrassing because it is more of a personal choice than anything. Anyone could have experience if they were that desperate to get it.

[PezMullet]

It feels like a bag of sand, right?

[yellowhouse]

its not really that big of a deal.

[maxvsmaradona]

What is this "girlfriend" you all speak of?

[Ava1anche]

I've never had a girlfriend before and its not a huge deal to me. I'm not like actively searching one out either, I figure it will just come along when the time is right. Until then, I'll just be enjoying life on my own.

[PdoubleEk]

genuine guys, that arent just into you to get in to you, probably wont think youre lame for being inexperienced. i know for me at least, i dont really want a girl thats been around the block a few too many times. i dont want the physical part of the relaysh to not mean shit to her since shes done all there is to do, ya kno? and i dont want chlamydia, either. id rather have someone completely inexperienced than someone whos a pro. i myself am somewhat inexperienced, and most of the experience i DO have is from ppl i either shouldnt have done anything with or wish i hadnt done anything with. being inexperienced is no big deal, srsly.

[whiterussian]

It feels like a bag of sand, right?

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/wikiality/images/thumb/d/dd/SteveCarell40.jpg/150px-SteveCarell40.jpg
CORRECT!

[geebee889]

Going along with what everyone else has said, it's really not that big of a deal. I honestly don't have that much experience, and neither does my boyfriend. We just became "official" or whatever last week, and it makes me feel a lot more comfortable knowing that we're kind of on the same playing field and that I won't feel as pressured.

[makeshiftmind]

it's really not that big.
:shrug:

[heregoesnothin]

I'm not ashamed that I've never had a boyfriend, if went to my school you would understand. But when questioned by people I don't know very well and feel vulnerable around I'll say that there was a guy I met on vacation in another state (that way there's no way of knowing if that's true or not). But around my good friends my lack of boyfriends is kind of a running joke.

[julietelizabeth]

Before I got a boyfriend, I used to find conversations about relationships/sex INCREDIBLY awkward. Now that I have some experience, that hasn't changed and I still find conversations incredibly awkward. :/

[bstthngunvrhd7]

I bring it up and am honest about it. I feel if you can't accept me as a friend or as a person because I've never been in a relationship then perhaps you aren't worth being in my life. I'll admit I am a bit embarrassed about it and do feel lame that I am a 23 year old virgin (and will be 24 in a month) but there's more to me than what I haven't done, but I have met a lot of friends who don't make it into a huge deal.

But I'm learning every day: like this weekend, I stayed the night with this guy I have been talking to over three months. We cuddled/snuggled on the couch and in his bed, didn't kiss or anything, I just rubbed his back and arms and he rubbed my arms and legs and we held hands. He was really sweet and kind and all and when I told him that if I had been awkward it was because I had never spent the night with a guy before and he said that everyone has to start somewhere & that there is a first time for everything & to contact him...but he hasn't responded to the few texts I sent him or the call I made...so I'm just hoping he does respond back...either that or this was a live and learn lesson.

[xjacjac]

I'm okay with the fact that i've never had a boyfriend, but it does get awakrd sometimes when its brought up in conversation. But i'd rather be that girl whos "sweet and endearing" than is all used up though, so i'm not too worried about it. Usually if you have a sense of humor about it it's not too bad.

[Jennurna Gray]

Lol, Rex. Why were you dating the dinosaur from Toy Story?
I was 12, I had the right to date animated movie characters. :P
haha did the same thing, except my fake name was ryan lol. my friends did not believe me, thankfully no one brings it up
Which makes me lol, looking back when we thought we had nothing to learn, yet did such rediculously stupid things

[cuzimlefthanded]

Lying never helps. My first boyfriend, Rex (lol), never existed. Of course, I was like 12 but having a boyfriend/girlfriend was the cool thing to do. Nobody ever straight told me that they don't believe me, but you can read it on their faces. I'm sure I could have lied a little better, but the point is that either way, people would eventually know the truth. Just be honest; lack of expirience isn't something to be ashamed of. It's like not being good at karate, if you don't have any expirience in karate, obviously you're not going to be good at it. So what?

Edit: And Rex was also my last boyfriend, so I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND.
I've never kissed a guy either.

I still don't see a huge issue.

Hahahahah what an awesome name!

[cuzimlefthanded]

I just ended a relationship with my first girlfriend. She's 24, I'm 18. When we first starting talking, I straight up told her that I was pretty inexperienced in regards to girls (even though I was terrified that she would be completely turned off, being 24 and everything). She was fine with that and we went on to date for a god amount of time.

Your lack of experience is only a big deal if you make it so.

[fallingheart]

It used to be a big deal to me until I got to college and realized there's A LOT more people than you think who are equally inexperienced.

[Jennurna Gray]

Hahahahah what an awesome name!
That's what I'm saying, maynn.


But yeah, I want my first to be with someone who is equally lacking expirience, so we can learn together and laugh at each other.
Mines kind of turned into a full blown phobia, though. Like I've been in positions where there're guys that are really nice, nothing wrong with them, and I like them, but I can't date them, or kiss them. It's kind of the position I've been in since May. >.< It's hellish.

[tottivillarossi]

I was 12, I had the right to date animated movie characters. :P

Which makes me lol, looking back when we thought we had nothing to learn, yet did such rediculously stupid things
Shouldn't he be arrested then or something? OR DID HE EAT YOU?

[awakeohsleeper]

I'm 20 and I've never had sex. I've had two serious relationships but I'm not one to jump into anything that I'll regret later. I've got no problems with my lack of experience. And anyway, I'm now at the point where I wouldn't date anyone who I didn't see a long-term future with. I'm a bit 'traditional' in that way, but that's how I am. It doesn't bother me. It did when I was like 13 and everyone was making up stories but it definitely doesn't now. I'm content.

[Jennurna Gray]

Shouldn't he be arrested then or something? OR DID HE EAT YOU?
I lived in his belly for a year. >.<
Bad memories, let's talk about something else...

[Deadbolt23]

I lived in his belly for a year. >.<
Bad memories, let's talk about something else...

...The word 'bed' looks like a bed.
Discuss.

[Jennurna Gray]

...The word 'bed' looks like a bed.
Discuss.
Hmm. Very true. I like 'buid' better though. Figure that one out.

And congrats for making it into my signature with that oh-so random post. :)

[tottivillarossi]

...The word 'bed' looks like a bed.
Discuss.
I lol'd. Kudos on a Scrubs-esque moment.

[Deadbolt23]

Hmm. Very true. I like 'buid' better though. Figure that one out.

And congrats for making it into my signature with that oh-so random post. :)

buid.
Is it a cow, lay on it's back, with no head, and a tennis ball instead of an udder?

And wow, what an acheivement. Honoured :D

[A7XXX]

The people that I hang out with are in the same boat as me so I don't usually have to deal with those awkward conversations. And the people whose opinions I care about don't seem to mind that much that I'm single or "inexperienced"

[Jennurna Gray]

buid.
Is it a cow, lay on it's back, with no head, and a tennis ball instead of an udder?

And wow, what an acheivement. Honoured :D
No, but close. It's 'u' and 'i' in a bed without 'e' 'cause this isn't a threesome.

[Deadbolt23]

No, but close. It's 'u' and 'i' in a bed without 'e' 'cause this isn't a threesome.

Ahhhh..
Yeah, I was totally on the right lines.

More food for thought:
If you tilt your head to the left, OGC looks like a man popping one off.

[Jennurna Gray]

Ahhhh..
Yeah, I was totally on the right lines.

More food for thought:
If you tilt your head to the left, OGC looks like a man popping one off.
Or a dead cat.

[Deadbolt23]

Or a dead cat.

I'm gonna be honest, I'm not really seeing the dead cat.

[Jennurna Gray]

I'm gonna be honest, I'm not really seeing the dead cat.
But you looked. Thank you.

[Deadbolt23]

But you looked. Thank you.

Very clever. But I am quite disappointed that it doesn't look like both a person beating it and a dead cat. I think that would've made an interesting mix.

[Jennurna Gray]

Very clever. But I am quite disappointed that it doesn't look like both a person beating it and a dead cat. I think that would've made an interesting mix.
That'd be interesting.
Now I'm determined to make one.

[Deadbolt23]

That'd be interesting.
Now I'm determined to make one.

http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll229/Deadbolt929292/Image085.jpg?t=1262392237


1. It is a cat that has been run over, and is all squashed.
2. It is a guy with a massive head and a massive penis, sat down, jacking off, viewed from above.

edit: It won't let me embed for some reason. Oh, well. You have the link.

[Jennurna Gray]

http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll229/Deadbolt929292/Image085.jpg?t=1262392237


1. It is a cat that has been run over, and is all squashed.
2. It is a guy with a massive head and a massive penis, sat down, jacking off, viewed from above.

edit: It won't let me embed for some reason. Oh, well. You have the link.
It's blocked. (Like everything else on my computer, long story)

[Deadbolt23]

It's blocked. (Like everything else on my computer, long story)

http://www.absolutepunk.net/gallery/files/9/9/0/1/2/1/Image085.jpg

I added it to my profile on AP, and embedded it from there :D

[Jennurna Gray]

I commented, lol

[Unreasonable]

just do what makes you happy and tell who you want to tell and the rest can mind their own business. girls have a lot of pressure to just do it and have these weird sexual experiences.... it's not worth it if it's not with the right person. really. i was one ofthe last out of my group of girlfriends in high school to lose my V card and it didn't bother me a bit. we were 18 and they had already slept with like 5+ dudes each so talking with them about my lack of experience actually made me kind of feel better about myself, if that makes any sense.

and the totally opposite perspective, dudes don't have to just go out there and get some and get laid. my current boyfriend was a virgin before we started dating and i'm his first relationship. it made ME more nervous knowing those things because i really care about him and don't want anything to be a bad experience since it's all "new". but did it affect my opinion of him personally? not in the slightest.