Flying through Time

[SensesMike]

I wrote this song about love and death, and how death causes seperation of lovers. I wrote it a few weeks ago, havent put it to music yet, but it should be fairly easy, pretty flexible lyrics, let me know what you think.
Thanks!

Flying through time

There was a time, when things never phased me
i thought i was on top of my game
but i was wrong
oh i was wrong
i had the worst thing coming to me
i didnt even know it

i lie awake and to my suprise
i stare and just strain my eyes
i watch for nothing
i cant help but to just think
how things might be changing
but i wont know anything
it feels like im flying

Chorus:
sirens rang like my alarm
i entered a world where my charm
didnt get me anything
im comin home from this agony
for peace now
oh i must sleep
under the sheets til the break of day
i probably wont see you anyway
im flying

into the light are my eyes like glue
im thinking of me and you
i cant help but to stare
my eyes become adapt to the air
i cant feel my face now
im blank like my mind is
but how?
my first question is, am i dead
or am i just dreaming?
i dont know what to think
then i see the light get brighter
i walk to it but nothing happens
my fear is there wont be any more light

Chorus:
sirens rang like my alarm
i entered a world where my charm
didnt get me anything
im comin home from this agony
for peace now
oh i must sleep
under the sheets til the break of day
i probably wont see you anyway
im flying

[matt_rawlings]

There were a few lines I liked but alot of it is pretty cliche

[nickstetina]

i agree. some moments are shaky (cliche).

how long have you been writing? its hard to find your own style at first and not fall into the same trap alot of writers do. theres a difference between being staightforward in your lyrics and cliche. its a fine line, haha but theres a difference

[a speedo model]

yeah, some lines were very good but too much was cliche to really hold intrest. work on it.

[iHATEapril]

I think you have serious potential, but you should shake off some of the senses fail in you.

[SensesMike]

I think you have serious potential, but you should shake off some of the senses fail in you.

You are 200% right that's what I get when I'm singing too, but when I'm original and stick with my own way of singing, people like that better, but my problem is I try to sound like Senses as well as sometimes write like them. My old originals were always better before senses fail, now they came along and aparently made me like this lol. Still love em though!