Serious Relationship Issue

[inCinerate.1028]

Okay...so I've been dating this girl for over a year. Our one year anniversary was on new years eve going into 2010. I love her so much, she means so much to me. When I first met her, everyone in my life was giving me such a hard time. The school I went wasn't for me and people picked on me and critized everything i did. My mom was giving me problems about my hobby and forcing me to do stuff that made me so unhappy. And even at my church, the majority of the people just loved to give me a hard time and wouldn't let me be happy. It was a hard time but then I met my girlfriend and she didn't judge me and she was so nice and sweet and loved talking to me. A few months later, we became a couple and everything felt great. The first 3 months were amazing, she was the best girlfriend ever and treated me so lovingly and I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. The fourth month, she got mono and was always so tired and grumpy and she wasn't herself but I didn't break up with her cause I loved her. The fifth month came and she got over her sickness and was herself again. That's when we told each other we loved each other and were so happy. In the summer, I went away for 5 weeks and we were both heartbroken cause we couldnt see each other for 5 weeks. But she had to see me so she drove all the way up state with her mom and we went to Universsal together and i loved it. Then i had to see her so i bought a plane ticket to Chicago and after I came back and flew up and saw her where she was on vacation. She cried in my arms so much cause she missed me and we were both so happy. She told me she'll always love me and would never get sick of being with me. So she wanted to be with me, she convinced me to leave the school I hated and go to her school. I did but now everythings different. Since we see each other 5 days a week and have 5 classes together at school, when she sees me or talks to me she acts like its nothing anymore. She's starting to get annoyed at me for no reason and yell at me for just being a good boyfriend and her friends notice I'm sweet and do my best but she can't seem to notice it anymore like she used to. She tells me she gets sick of me sometimes, too. But I don't know if this is related to her recently going on The Pill for reasons, her having a yeast infection, and being stressed from exams. She's not the same girl anymore who showed that she loves me and it breaks my heart. I want her back and something tells me that girl who loved me so much is still in there somewhere and I want her back. I don't know what to do cause now that I'm happy at my new school with her there and I don't know if she even likes it...I don't want to leave the school but is it best for our relationship? I miss the way she used to be :( I want her back.

[mageVSlock]

Man, this was tough to read. First off, you need to break that thing up into paragraphs. And second, I really do know what you're going through :( I really don't have any advice to give you but if things work out between you two, consider yourself very lucky. Most people just change so much around college and those first few years post-college.

[rhinitus]

i think it was definitely the yeast infection.

[inCinerate.1028]

i think it was definitely the yeast infection.

Why do you think so?

[Maiaophilia]

yeah. Dude; you two need a break.

[rhinitus]

Why do you think so?

i'm kidding. bringing that up is almost as absurd as when this kid died from pneumonia and my buddy said "he had some heath issues. he was obese and had ADD" as if ADD would have anything to do with it.

[JustAGirl01]

well if you both are seeing each other 5 days a week and have 5 classes together you two don't have time to miss each other. it sounds weird but my roommate went through a similar problem. if you two spend ALL your time together, you are naturally going to be tired of seeing each other and may just need a breath of fresh air.

maybe next year take just ONE class together. spend some time with your friends, let her hang with her girlfriends. just find some time to miss each other, if that makes sense

[caress me down]

Breaks are shitty. People automatically get hurt. I'd say see each other less. That way when you do see each other it will mean more and she'll be less likely to get sick of you. Maybe cut it down from five days a week to three.

[ptulachanh]

well if you both are seeing each other 5 days a week and have 5 classes together you two don't have time to miss each other. it sounds weird but my roommate went through a similar problem. if you two spend ALL your time together, you are naturally going to be tired of seeing each other and may just need a breath of fresh air.

maybe next year take just ONE class together. spend some time with your friends, let her hang with her girlfriends. just find some time to miss each other, if that makes sense
^ Is probably the best advice. I have to add though you really just transferred out to her school? seems kind of intense for a girl you haven't dated a long time. Also not pouring it on but it also could be that you guys could just be growing apart..

[Lirr168]

In all seriousness, the pill can affect mood when she first starts taking it, but that isn't an excuse. Never been in this situation exactly, but under no circumstances should you leave a school at which you are happy. At the worst, you break up and continue on your own way at the school. As a general rule, making school choices for a significant other is a bad idea.

[caress me down]

In all seriousness, the pill can affect mood when she first starts taking it, but that isn't an excuse. Never been in this situation exactly, but under no circumstances should you leave a school at which you are happy. At the worst, you break up and continue on your own way at the school. As a general rule, making school choices for a significant other is a bad idea.
yes yes yes.

[MarsEatWorld]

It could and probably is due to the pill. Even though it isn't an excuse, sometimes it isn't under her control and she doesn't realize she is doing it. I agree about the whole just take one class together thing too.. Seeing eachother too much can be a bad idea.

[CobraLucha]

You say "so" too much.

[<*)))><]

For one that is just how women are, but it sounds like things worked out so nice while you had your space, just got get some of it back. Reminded me of something I'm going threw with a friend and what helped us was taking a two month break from seeing speak or any forum of communication. Hopefully things will be back to normal.

[kbi the crowing]

You two need a break

& her going on the pill probably isnt helping her mood

[floodedheart456]

My boyfriend and I have been together 1 month longer than you and her and our stories sound familiar. I find myself feeling more frustrated and annoyed with him the past couple months and I dont understand why. I have heard this happen with several other girls. I think it might be because shes used to you being there and feels you are always going to be there and you guys are coming out of the puppy love stage and into the more serious part of a relationship. It kinda sucks =\ but just be there for her, still be nice and sweet, I think a break would be worse, she would probably pull away from you, but who knows, she's probably different than me.

[Schmidty Says]

I don't mean to sound like a dick, but how old are you? Age can be a factor in to this just as much as the pill or anything else. I hate to say take a break, but you need to do something along those lines. Most girls don't like being smothered. As much as you love her, some time apart to grow and mature will not hurt.

[introduction]

give each other a break. seeing each other so much isn't that great for a relationship.

[Carolina.Alex]

Too much of anything is too much.

[inCinerate.1028]

Can The Pill make her too emotional and more moody than normal?

[Helpless]

tl;dr


but apparently you two need a break

[youngz]

try not seeing each other as much as silly as that sounds. it probably will work

[Brand-new-123]

Maybe it isn't going to work out. Most relationships fail.

[open mind]

i'm guessing you 2 have run out of stuff to talk about and you resort to saying "i love you" repeatedly......and that can annoy anyone after awhile.

make yourself scarce, but don't completely vanish.

[ManchesterOrch8]

You see too much of eachother, I know that the classes thing always seemed like the best idea ever, because at the time you wanted to see eachtother more. Though, too much is a bad thing.


Trust me, school changes are a bad thing when it's just done for your bf/gf. I had to repeat a class senior year that I didn't even want to take (spanish), because my girlfriend was supposed to be in it. Long behold, she wasn't even in the fucking class and I didn't know the material, and I fucked myself.

[SofiaHxC]

Same thing is happening right now between my bf and me. We go to the same school and same classes. He´s always so sweet to me, but sometimes I get tired of seeing him everyday. You should talk to her and ask her what´s happening. Maybe she needs some time to think or something like that.

[a nice person]

Too much of anything is too much.

you've obviously never tried bacon then.

[Augustine1128]

I second the request for paragraphs.

[ABoyUnderOath90]

Just get some space and do separate things. No need to break up or anything. Just find some hobbies to do without her. It worked for me. My girlfriend and I used to argue all the time, but we literally saw each other every day. Once we started doing things separately and cutting back a day or two a week, we did much better. Now we've been with each other for over a year and a half. Don't sweat it man, you're fine.

[JustAGirl01]

you guys dont need a break. a break to me is not seeing each other for a certain amount of time. you guys should still hang out but just not every second of every day

[rollerman4221]

you've obviously never tried bacon then.

http://simonbudden.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/baconnaise.jpg

[AndrewIcex]

This is nearly identical with what I went through... like... 3 months ago, like... almost word for word. Well kinda... but its the same situation.

But ours did not end happily, I am sad to say, my situation ended with her now having a new boyfriend. The smothering and too much of each other can really effect shit.

She smothered me too, but I was not as effected as she was, I just chilled, she stressed, girls are complex. Fuck it.

[denissuxx]

tl;dr

learn to use shorter paragraphs

[jmo182]

breaks = end of relationship. in most cases anyways. idk bro.

[timb89]

if i was a girl, i wouldnt want my boyfriend telling the internet i had a yeast infection for starters.

[timb89]

breaks = end of relationship. in most cases anyways. idk bro.

yep. "i think we should take a break (up)"

[MyNameIsRoss]

sounds like a bitch, wouldn't be having that shit.

[MattADALIE]

It could be a combination of her conquest being over (which would be her trying to get you to be closer to her and not be separated long-distance) so she doesn't have that feeling of a challenge to get you, and, the birth control pills. She may have mood-swings here and there among other behaviors that she can control, but, the pill actually creates a new balance of hormones in her body to reduce pregnancy risk. Aside from a physical and emotional attraction, we must all keep in mind that chemical attraction, too, is very strong and indicative of a good relationship. Scents, endorphins, hormones, all that fun stuff. Of course, this isn't the only cause of the problems, but, do consider her natural balance of hormones being masked by the pill as well as her not being able to sense your makeup in much the same way she did before starting. My ex-girlfriend starting taking birth control pills at some point in our relationship and she was more annoyed with me than ever, more depressed than ever, threatened to break up with me more often (I say "more often" because we weren't really an ideal match anyway) and she was always talking about discontinuing use because she felt something wasn't right with her body anymore.

I spend every day with my girlfriend and we've been together for almost a year with no problems, but, I just feel lucky there because that wasn't the case in my two-year relationship previously.

[jong44]

well if you both are seeing each other 5 days a week and have 5 classes together you two don't have time to miss each other. it sounds weird but my roommate went through a similar problem. if you two spend ALL your time together, you are naturally going to be tired of seeing each other and may just need a breath of fresh air.

maybe next year take just ONE class together. spend some time with your friends, let her hang with her girlfriends. just find some time to miss each other, if that makes sense

Definitely, definitely agree with this. Its happened in my relationship a couple times. We spend too much time together and then we just have a night or two apart, have a date night or two, and things start going back to normal.

Unless she really is changing, which could happen, it could just be the stress of school, and maybe the pill too. That shifted my gfs mood around a bit too. Then she got off it cuz it made her sick. I'm guessing its just a rut tho, that's all. Or maybe even that you guys are now in the "married" stage of the relationship. Think about it, you spend all your time together, like you're married. You probably practically live together, like you're married..

It gets better. You both just have to talk about what's going on, acknowledge it, and do things to fix it.

[jmo182]

yep. "i think we should take a break (up)"

exactly.

[Jake Denning]

she's probably pregnant, sucks to be you.

[Schmidty Says]

breaks = end of relationship. in most cases anyways. idk bro.

yep. "i think we should take a break (up)"

These.

[FallenAngel117]

Breaks are shitty. People automatically get hurt. I'd say see each other less. That way when you do see each other it will mean more and she'll be less likely to get sick of you. Maybe cut it down from five days a week to three.

wish my bf could understand that

[acemvivere]

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

[chassmariee]

What a bitch! She makes you up and move and then changes her mind. That's rediculous. Break up with her, fuck her friend.

[Kassie09]

Doesn't seem like a bitch to me
if I saw my boyfriend five days a week and had classes with him i would probably be annoyed and feel suffocated.

[caress me down]

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
True, to an extent.

[mybreakingpoint]

Okay...so I've been dating this girl for over a year. Our one year anniversary was on new years eve going into 2010. I love her so much, she means so much to me. When I first met her, everyone in my life was giving me such a hard time. The school I went wasn't for me and people picked on me and critized everything i did. My mom was giving me problems about my hobby and forcing me to do stuff that made me so unhappy. And even at my church, the majority of the people just loved to give me a hard time and wouldn't let me be happy. It was a hard time but then I met my girlfriend and she didn't judge me and she was so nice and sweet and loved talking to me. A few months later, we became a couple and everything felt great. The first 3 months were amazing, she was the best girlfriend ever and treated me so lovingly and I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. The fourth month, she got mono and was always so tired and grumpy and she wasn't herself but I didn't break up with her cause I loved her. The fifth month came and she got over her sickness and was herself again. That's when we told each other we loved each other and were so happy. In the summer, I went away for 5 weeks and we were both heartbroken cause we couldnt see each other for 5 weeks. But she had to see me so she drove all the way up state with her mom and we went to Universsal together and i loved it. Then i had to see her so i bought a plane ticket to Chicago and after I came back and flew up and saw her where she was on vacation. She cried in my arms so much cause she missed me and we were both so happy. She told me she'll always love me and would never get sick of being with me. So she wanted to be with me, she convinced me to leave the school I hated and go to her school. I did but now everythings different. Since we see each other 5 days a week and have 5 classes together at school, when she sees me or talks to me she acts like its nothing anymore. She's starting to get annoyed at me for no reason and yell at me for just being a good boyfriend and her friends notice I'm sweet and do my best but she can't seem to notice it anymore like she used to. She tells me she gets sick of me sometimes, too. But I don't know if this is related to her recently going on The Pill for reasons, her having a yeast infection, and being stressed from exams. She's not the same girl anymore who showed that she loves me and it breaks my heart. I want her back and something tells me that girl who loved me so much is still in there somewhere and I want her back. I don't know what to do cause now that I'm happy at my new school with her there and I don't know if she even likes it...I don't want to leave the school but is it best for our relationship? I miss the way she used to be :( I want her back.
man, that was hard to read. i'm sorry, mate. i think maybe leaving the school might be for the best if your relationship if your biggest priority and you're not too attached to the school itself or the programs that it would negatively effect your education if you transferred again. i guess it comes down to priorities. if she's all that matters, and trust me i've been there, then do what you honestly believe will help.

but here's the brutally honest side.

guys do their most maturing/growing up/changing between the ages of 16 and 18, sometimes up to 19. by the time we get to our second year of college or so, we are who we're going to be for the rest of our lives and that's not going to change much. we're consistently going to have the same level of maturity and understanding and everything else. girls though, they change the most between the ages of 18 and 22. the girl you started dating your senior year of high school or first year of college is NOT going to be the same girl she was by her second or third year of college. and she's not going to change back. she's becoming the woman she's going to be for the rest of her life. and sometimes you grow with her, and you stay apart of her and remain an important fixture in her life, and then sometimes, you grow apart, no matter how much you see each other and talk to each other. it's so hard to reconcile yourself to when you realize "she's gone and she's not coming back", but if that's the case, the sooner you realize it, the better off you're going to be and the better off your relationship and (hopeful) potential future friendship will be. you need to sit down and really evaluate all the little things and figure out if she's really, really gone--as in she's grown up, matured, or just changed permanently--or if she's just stressed and overwhelmed by your suddenly being around all the time. that takes time to adjust to as well, and i hope for your sake that she's just having trouble adjusting and that she'll get over it soon.

i'd go on, but i'm just going to get myself into my own funk because these are the same things i worry about happening with my own girlfriend every day and i'll keep worrying about it until there's a ring on that finger. good luck, man.

[AndrewIcex]

man, that was hard to read. i'm sorry, mate. i think maybe leaving the school might be for the best if your relationship if your biggest priority and you're not too attached to the school itself or the programs that it would negatively effect your education if you transferred again. i guess it comes down to priorities. if she's all that matters, and trust me i've been there, then do what you honestly believe will help.

but here's the brutally honest side.

guys do their most maturing/growing up/changing between the ages of 16 and 18, sometimes up to 19. by the time we get to our second year of college or so, we are who we're going to be for the rest of our lives and that's not going to change much. we're consistently going to have the same level of maturity and understanding and everything else. girls though, they change the most between the ages of 18 and 22. the girl you started dating your senior year of high school or first year of college is NOT going to be the same girl she was by her second or third year of college. and she's not going to change back. she's becoming the woman she's going to be for the rest of her life. and sometimes you grow with her, and you stay apart of her and remain an important fixture in her life, and then sometimes, you grow apart, no matter how much you see each other and talk to each other. it's so hard to reconcile yourself to when you realize "she's gone and she's not coming back", but if that's the case, the sooner you realize it, the better off you're going to be and the better off your relationship and (hopeful) potential future friendship will be. you need to sit down and really evaluate all the little things and figure out if she's really, really gone--as in she's grown up, matured, or just changed permanently--or if she's just stressed and overwhelmed by your suddenly being around all the time. that takes time to adjust to as well, and i hope for your sake that she's just having trouble adjusting and that she'll get over it soon.

i'd go on, but i'm just going to get myself into my own funk because these are the same things i worry about happening with my own girlfriend every day and i'll keep worrying about it until there's a ring on that finger. good luck, man.
This is spot on.