Um.

[trustmeimokay]

I can't stop thinking about this certain girl. She's so cute and fun and I cannot get her off my mind. We're really friendly toward each other and I'm so happy around her. Well, my best friend is really into her and he has made this very clear towards me. In fact, he introduced us. He's trying to get her. He doesn't know how much I like her. This is maybe the worst situation I've ever been in my entire life. I finally find the best girl and my best friend is already pursuing her. I hate myself so much for feeling the way I do about her, but I can't help it. I don't know if I should just avoid her and try and find someone else as soon as possible, I'm just really lost. Give me your sympathy.

[theGrue]

He doesn't know how much I like her.
I'd fix that part first.

[trustmeimokay]

I'd fix that part first.
But how do I tell him this? It would kill him and possibly hurt our friendship.

[FondestMemory]

But how do I tell him this? It would kill him and possibly hurt our friendship.

do you know she feels the same way about you?

if you tell your friend you like her, and she doesn't like you back, you fucked up for no reason.

if you know she's into you, talk to him about it. a true friend would count his losses and realize his shot is gone and just be happy that it's a friend that landed her and not some random dude who could give her herpes.

if you have herpes though, i really don't know what to tell ya.

[theGrue]

But how do I tell him this? It would kill him and possibly hurt our friendship.
Really? I'd think someone with your designation of "best friend" would have the sense to not go flying off the handle when you bring it up, and rather be able to actually have a mature conversation with you about how you both feel about the girl in question.

But let's look at some things from the friend's perspective... He clearly likes this girl and has stepped up to the plate, so to speak. He even informed you that he was going to do so, or maybe he was doing so before you even met her (I'm not really clear on that). This doesn't really give you too much of an argument for your case, unfortunately. If he started the pursuit after he introduced you, maybe you have a better argument.

But there will certainly be more girls in your life, including those not already attached to friends. And next time, if your buddy happens to be single again as well, why not make your intentions a little clearer. And always, bros before hos.

[Juliana101]

Nothing makes a friendship run smoother than a girl in between. Similar situation happened to me.

Let's go back to the year.... 2004.

I liked this girl, he liked this girl. He got with her, they hate each other.

End of story, if you sit around and wait, your friend will screw it up.

[boysdontcry17]

does he want her as much as you do? i say go for it

[trustmeimokay]

do you know she feels the same way about you?

if you tell your friend you like her, and she doesn't like you back, you fucked up for no reason.

if you know she's into you, talk to him about it. a true friend would count his losses and realize his shot is gone and just be happy that it's a friend that landed her and not some random dude who could give her herpes.

if you have herpes though, i really don't know what to tell ya.
Ha. I have no clue if she likes me. She's kind of a tough cookie.

[trustmeimokay]

Really? I'd think someone with your designation of "best friend" would have the sense to not go flying off the handle when you bring it up, and rather be able to actually have a mature conversation with you about how you both feel about the girl in question.

But let's look at some things from the friend's perspective... He clearly likes this girl and has stepped up to the plate, so to speak. He even informed you that he was going to do so, or maybe he was doing so before you even met her (I'm not really clear on that). This doesn't really give you too much of an argument for your case, unfortunately. If he started the pursuit after he introduced you, maybe you have a better argument.

But there will certainly be more girls in your life, including those not already attached to friends. And next time, if your buddy happens to be single again as well, why not make your intentions a little clearer. And always, bros before hos.
He was after her before he introduced me, therefore he's def got the upper hand.

[trustmeimokay]

Nothing makes a friendship run smoother than a girl in between. Similar situation happened to me.

Let's go back to the year.... 2004.

I liked this girl, he liked this girl. He got with her, they hate each other.

End of story, if you sit around and wait, your friend will screw it up.
It's complicated, cause if they do get together, I wish them the best. It's confusing.

[trustmeimokay]

does he want her as much as you do? i say go for it
I'm not so sure. When I bring her up he seems to just say typical things, not like anything special that makes me realize he's too into her. I mean, I try not to pry to much so I don't end up spilling my guts about her.

I'm much nicer to her than he is. His way of flirting is kind of being a dick. He's a great guy though, this is just how he is. She seems to accept his way of fliritng much better than my way though. That kind of makes me think I don't have a chance. But I'm def more her type (if you know what I mean).

[clevername]

It sounds like you should tell him not only how you feel, but her as well. If she doesn't realize it either, then that kind of defeats the point.

Also, make sure he realizes that you aren't trying to like.. fight him for her or something. Talk to him rationally and just tell him how you feel.

And ask her too, cause that way you don't always wonder what if.

[dashboard1190]

Bro's before ho's.

Tell your friend how you feel, if he's a good friend then he might be like "Oh, sure, I don't like her that much."

[xvszero]

You guys are so hyperdramatic. When me and one of my friends both liked the same girl we'd talk about it and go with the "well whoever gets her first wins" type thing.

I guess it didn't hurt that neither of us ever got her though. Ok he got her once, and she turned out to be a skank, and I ended up thankful he won that one.

[trustmeimokay]

It sounds like you should tell him not only how you feel, but her as well. If she doesn't realize it either, then that kind of defeats the point.

Also, make sure he realizes that you aren't trying to like.. fight him for her or something. Talk to him rationally and just tell him how you feel.

And ask her too, cause that way you don't always wonder what if.
It would be so strange telling her though, cause I fell for her so fast that she might think I'm crazy or something. It's just that I don't meet too many girls like her and I just can't get her off my mind.

[trustmeimokay]

Bro's before ho's.

Tell your friend how you feel, if he's a good friend then he might be like "Oh, sure, I don't like her that much."
Yeah, I've really been trying to utilize that phrase. It's been going alright so far, it's just I still have that huge secret...

[we are cured]

here's how it goes down...he's your best friend, and he was pursuing her first, so you let him go for it. but once he's down and out, and he knows it, its your turn. you should really communicate with him though, and let him know this, as long as you're sure he's not going to flip out and tell her. because the worst possible thing that can happen here is that she finds out you both like her. if she's a good girl, she'll feel bad about potentially breaking friends up and neither of you get her. if she's a bad girl, she'll lead you both on.

i would also try paying a little less attention to her. she'll wonder why something is up, and maybe she'll come to you.

[vandalsandquinn]

make sure you tell him before you do anything with the girl, you dont want it to end up like zach and mikey over that red head in a mini skirt from saved by the bell

[trustmeimokay]

here's how it goes down...he's your best friend, and he was pursuing her first, so you let him go for it. but once he's down and out, and he knows it, its your turn. you should really communicate with him though, and let him know this, as long as you're sure he's not going to flip out and tell her. because the worst possible thing that can happen here is that she finds out you both like her. if she's a good girl, she'll feel bad about potentially breaking friends up and neither of you get her. if she's a bad girl, she'll lead you both on.

i would also try paying a little less attention to her. she'll wonder why something is up, and maybe she'll come to you.
Perfect suggestion.

This is probably exactly what I should do. Just back off. Thank you.

[Bishop]

I smell a romantic comedy...

No, really just discuss it with your friend at least and set up parameters throughout the whole thing and explain that you still want to be friends.

[trustmeimokay]

I smell a romantic comedy...

No, really just discuss it with your friend at least and set up parameters throughout the whole thing and explain that you still want to be friends.
I wish I could do that, I just don't want to jeopardize anything. I think I'm just gonna back off and let him have her if she wants him.

But that would be a kick ass romantic comedy.

It's weird though, because I am SOO more her type.

[we are cured]

Perfect suggestion.

This is probably exactly what I should do. Just back off. Thank you.

anytime

[jusscali]

patience is a virtue. thats the best advice i can give. you really just have to hang around for a while and see what happens.

good luck

[trustmeimokay]

New situation.

Lately my friend has been talking about how he could probably never actually date this girl, since he doesn't have a car, lives quite a distance away from her, and her parents are very strict and won't let her come out to where he lives to see him.

Now I don't know if I should wait a couple weeks and then maybe ask for his permission to make a move for myself (if nothing happens between them during that time). I mean, right now their relationship isn't much. They pretty much live through texting and myspace, and you think they would talk on the phone, but they just don't. So...I think next time I see him I should bring this up. I just don't want to ruin anything.

But I'm also going to a new school this next year and maybe I should wait to see what's there. I think I'll take the fellow's advice above, and just use patience.

[theGrue]

I still think you're a bit too cautious. Bringing it up will not instantly ruin everything. But if he says not to go for it and you don't respect that, that might.

[trustmeimokay]

I still think you're a bit too cautious. Bringing it up will not instantly ruin everything. But if he says not to go for it and you don't respect that, that might.
Exactly. I'm just trying to avoid that from happening.

[Colin Farrell]

didnt this happen to joey and chandler on friends?

[trustmeimokay]

didnt this happen to joey and chandler on friends?
Hehe. Every girl/guy situation that has ever happened in history has been played out on Friends.