Retarded, I know

[AloneInTheDark]

So in my journey to write cliche lyrics, I started to actually think. I've had that 'I need to get out of here' mentality for the past few months, living in this house is killing me. So I just started to write, it doesn't make much sense, but I'm working on putting it to some music.


This room has turned cold
The lights have dimmed
from constant use
a sour yellow,
putrid and evident
I'm always occupying
yet, it's always so empty

Roots back to a town so empty
fueled by drugs and alcohol
emotions under the influence
a powerful need, a powerful greed
it wasn't just a feeling
ask any kid, any growing soul
the need to get out and experience a life
a greed, trial after trial for the same thing
deadbeats and sinners, all one in the same


our parents nit and pick
keep our spirits down
god forbid we grow
god forbid we become more successful
god forbid we fill
god forbid we move on
god forbid we fufill
keeping our spirits down
driving our future in the ground
losing strength, losing mentality
I know now what shelter really is

Thoughts?

[TheObserver]

I really dont like you blaming your parents for what you're writing about. Especially saying they 'nit and pick.' You make yourself look pathetic.

[AloneInTheDark]

I really dont like you blaming your parents for what you're writing about. Especially saying they 'nit and pick.' You make yourself look pathetic.

That was kind of the point...haha
I mean, it's just kind of the situation my brother and I are in, our parents are at that stage, where they do nit and pick everything, not that it matters all that much.

[a speedo model]

i don't know. it's not bad, but nothing stands out about it. it didn't hold my attention. keep working on it.