Well,

[ETGsynth]

Im kinda new here but here's my story.

The past four years pretty much got devoted to one female in my life, I even moved out when I was 17 so we could get a place together and had full time jobs to care of her and her son, late last year we finally had a child of our own and I was ready to give up being a musician. One morning I wake up and they're gone. My friend found me that weekend unconcious and I end up in the hospital. She decided she wasnt happy, had to go to court due to our eviction, moved back home, my band broke up shortly after. We continued to talk till Decemeber with hopes of getting back together and one day she just decided she didnt want me in her life anymore. I quickly fell into a downward spiral of narcotics, prescription pills, suicide attempts. Then I get a call saying the bands getting back together and now I feel like thats all I have left. Im really trying to make it through this, My world pretty much fell down around me and I havent seen my daughter in nearly six months with no hope of ever seeing her again (her mother refuses her ex to see there son). Im not looking for pity, Im just at a very low point in my life and ive always had serious struggles with depression, even a history of serious suicide attempts to go with it. I guess all I can hope is my band makes it this time around.

[MegSo]

I'm really sorry, man, I know you said you weren't looking for pity but I truly am sorry. The only possible advice I have has to do with your daughter - absolutely take it to family court. Unless she has sufficient reason to not allow you to see your daughter, then you are completely entitled to that. Fight for some sort of visitation or custody. Try to keep your head up, if anything - for your daughter. I hope things work out for you.

[ETGsynth]

I'm really sorry, man, I know you said you weren't looking for pity but I truly am sorry. The only possible advice I have has to do with your daughter - absolutely take it to family court. Unless she has sufficient reason to not allow you to see your daughter, then you are completely entitled to that. Fight for some sort of visitation or custody. Try to keep your head up, if anything - for your daughter. I hope things work out for you.

In our state everything goes in her favor. I know cause my sister completely denied her sons father rights.

[MegSo]

In our state everything goes in her favor. I know cause my sister completely denied her sons father rights.


It's worth the try? New York's the same way, I've only seen it go the other way one time and that's because the Mom was completely ridiculous and an absolutely unfit Mother.

[zion the lion]

I'll tell you right now that you probably have no chance of getting your daughter because of your history of suicide attempts, pill popping, the eviction, and because youre the father.

I'm not trying to be mean because I have no idea anything about the mother but when it comes to that kind of thing (I have a long history with custody cases) the mothers usually get their way even when they're fucked up.

[ETGsynth]

I'll tell you right now that you probably have no chance of getting your daughter because of your history of suicide attempts, pill popping, the eviction, and because youre the father.

I'm not trying to be mean because I have no idea anything about the mother but when it comes to that kind of thing (I have a long history with custody cases) the mothers usually get their way even when they're fucked up.


Yeah, Pretty much common sense to me.

[zion the lion]

Yeah, Pretty much common sense to me.

If you want to see your daughter youre going to have to probably give up on the whole band thing...give it a little while though if you want. Sorry about it all though.

[chrislauren]

Don't ever give up on life. I know i'm only 19, but I can tell you one thing: it's going to get better. I know it's cliche, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", but it's so true, and you are my age, so we haven't even begun living. I know there are kids involved, but you have to make an effort to clean yourself up, if you haven't already, get a steady job(which is hard at 19, i know) but even looking for a job is a job. It will show the courts that you are trying and you want to be in your kids' life. And if you kill yourself, think about the world of pain your kids will experience.

I'm really sorry about your situation, but you just have to hold on and trust that it will get better and it will. :)

[ETGsynth]

Don't ever give up on life. I know i'm only 19, but I can tell you one thing: it's going to get better. I know it's cliche, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", but it's so true, and you are my age, so we haven't even begun living. I know there are kids involved, but you have to make an effort to clean yourself up, if you haven't already, get a steady job(which is hard at 19, i know) but even looking for a job is a job. It will show the courts that you are trying and you want to be in your kids' life. And if you kill yourself, think about the world of pain your kids will experience.

I'm really sorry about your situation, but you just have to hold on and trust that it will get better and it will. :)

This is my first time being jobless since 16 and it sucks. I live in a shitty part of town where there isnt anything around, I've made countless attempts to get a job around here but I'll probably try again this week cause I can't afford to be in the band without one. Honestly I've lived quite more then someone my age has, trust me. Im working on coming clean now, after I fought off coke and drinking for my ex years ago I had been completely clean till this past decemeber then I started stealing my moms pain medications and narcotics, I was taking nearly 15-20 pills at a time. I considered rehab but my band got back together.

[chrislauren]

This is my first time being jobless since 16 and it sucks. I live in a shitty part of town where there isnt anything around, I've made countless attempts to get a job around here but I'll probably try again this week cause I can't afford to be in the band without one. Honestly I've lived quite more then someone my age has, trust me. Im working on coming clean now, after I fought off coke and drinking for my ex years ago I had been completely clean till this past decemeber then I started stealing my moms pain medications and narcotics, I was taking nearly 15-20 pills at a time. I considered rehab but my band got back together.
Don't say that you did anything for anyone but yourself and for your kid. I trust that you have been through a lot, but you can't do this. Taking that many pills at one time is so dangerous. I know you know that, and i know it's really hard, but i think rehab might work. You never until you try, right? I kow your band really means a lot to you, but you have to have your head on straight. Please try:-) And i can give you my email if you ever feel like you have no one else to talk to, seriously. I know you're going through a lot and now you've got my full attention.

[introduction]

My world pretty much fell down around me and I havent seen my daughter in nearly six months with no hope of ever seeing her again (her mother refuses her ex to see there son).

just asking, is your child a girl or boy?

i'm hoping that you get through this, i can 't really offer any advice, but i wish you all the best. things will pick up.

[ETGsynth]

just asking, is your child a girl or boy?

i'm hoping that you get through this, i can 't really offer any advice, but i wish you all the best. things will pick up.


Daughter, her name is melody. =]

[Deadbolt23]

Link to your band's myspace?

[ETGsynth]

Link to your band's myspace?


www.myspace.com/evadingthegrave (http://www.myspace.com/evadingthegrave)

[Jimmy_Love]

Bro, I normally don't get too affected by stories like these, but I am so sorry for you. I had a friend go through the a similar thing, its so fucked up. He had a full-time job, was laid off at no fault to him. Three months later he finds a new job and the same day his fiance reveals she's been cheating on him and was going to leave. Despite never having a job she got full custody of her two kids... It isn't fair, he loved her with everything he had and now he lives in near poverty because he's forced to pay child support to her lazy ass. Take her to court and fight her with everything possible, contact a father's rights organization sometimes they will cover court costs. Good Luck!!!

[timb89]

sorry to hear it, this is a truly upsetting story.

[SLoT]

This story sounds crazy enough to not be true, but I will treat this as though it is for everyone's sake that's posted and especially the OP.

Two things to say to you... first, I'm sorry about the way have gone in your life up until this point. You should see now that having a daughter you can fight for is worth more than never being able to see her because you're gone for good. Secondly, this is the truly only important thing I can tell you... never stop fighting for your daughter. Especially if you're a good guy. You seem to have fallen into some depression and done some things you're not proud of/want to get away from. Good. Don't ever stop the fight to be a good father. It's truly one of the only pure things left on the planet.

[ETGsynth]

This story sounds crazy enough to not be true, but I will treat this as though it is for everyone's sake that's posted and especially the OP.

Two things to say to you... first, I'm sorry about the way have gone in your life up until this point. You should see now that having a daughter you can fight for is worth more than never being able to see her because you're gone for good. Secondly, this is the truly only important thing I can tell you... never stop fighting for your daughter. Especially if you're a good guy. You seem to have fallen into some depression and done some things you're not proud of/want to get away from. Good. Don't ever stop the fight to be a good father. It's truly one of the only pure things left on the planet.

I honestly wish it wasn't true, Like i'll wake up one day and be back in bed with them.

[SLoT]

I honestly wish it wasn't true, Like i'll wake up one day and be back in bed with them.
That's so shitty man. I'm sorry this is going on, and I'm sorry this kind of shit even happens period. Shit does get better though. I've been in some fucking awful positions, but things do seem to come around in due time.

[terror_91]

19 and your life is already wasted. Nice work bro.

Edit: I like your music.

[mms13]

write songs about it

[ActionActionFan]

cTdjCsZoW_0

[Yellowcard2006]

Tell her "you hold me down"

[Mibabalou]

wow your life sucks

dont end your life thats stupid, but id say quit that band, go back to high school, get a GED and try to go to community college or something

you need something stable in your life right now, i dont think thats music

[ETGsynth]

Tell her "you hold me down"


Haha, wouldn't it be the other way around since in the song it was directed towards him in the letter she wrote?

[ETGsynth]

wow your life sucks

dont end your life thats stupid, but id say quit that band, go back to high school, get a GED and try to go to community college or something

you need something stable in your life right now, i dont think thats music

Im gonna play this upcoming show and see if its even worth it.

[coma]

ITT: Kid takes 17 years to fuck his life up forever.

[Yellowcard2006]

Haha, wouldn't it be the other way around since in the song it was directed towards him in the letter she wrote?
Yes, but not in this situation. I think. EDIT: Woah just read your post...serious stuff man.

I just really like that song.

Tell her "I need a little time to find myself again"

I assumed this was some generic girl thread, but you really have gotten into quite a lot.

[swallowURpride]

I can't even begin to imagine this situation, but I do have a friend who told me that there are days she has thought about just dying. So I'll tell you what I told her.
Taking your life is selfish, and it's the cowards way out. There is no reversing it (well duh, but I thought I might as well clear that up), you will only hurt all the people who care about you, even more so than yourself. You're in this shitty situation, and it's time to show yourself that you're strong enough to dig yourself out of it. You say you're not looking for pity, then stop it with the self-pity. Get help. or help yourself. Stop the drugs, clean yourself up, try and find a steady job.
If you love your daughter the way any father should- and it sounds as though you do- then try and do what you can to stay in her life. It sounds stupid, but maybe you can write to her or something (if she's even reading yet, idk how old she is). I don't know what your ex is like, but maybe if you show her you care, and how hard you're willing to try to keep your daughter in your life, she'll let you see her.
I really hope I've helped even a tiniest bit, and I hope things turn around for you.

[ETGsynth]

Yes, but not in this situation. I think. EDIT: Woah just read your post...serious stuff man.

I just really like that song.

Tell her "I need a little time to find myself again"

I assumed this was some generic girl thread, but you really have gotten into quite a lot.

Yeah, MCS is the reason I picked up synth. Sweetest band I've ever seen live too.
Im trying to get through it though.

[ETGsynth]

I can't even begin to imagine this situation, but I do have a friend who told me that there are days she has thought about just dying. So I'll tell you what I told her.
Taking your life is selfish, and it's the cowards way out. There is no reversing it (well duh, but I thought I might as well clear that up), you will only hurt all the people who care about you, even more so than yourself. You're in this shitty situation, and it's time to show yourself that you're strong enough to dig yourself out of it. You say you're not looking for pity, then stop it with the self-pity. Get help. or help yourself. Stop the drugs, clean yourself up, try and find a steady job.
If you love your daughter the way any father should- and it sounds as though you do- then try and do what you can to stay in her life. It sounds stupid, but maybe you can write to her or something (if she's even reading yet, idk how old she is). I don't know what your ex is like, but maybe if you show her you care, and how hard you're willing to try to keep your daughter in your life, she'll let you see her.
I really hope I've helped even a tiniest bit, and I hope things turn around for you.

Honestly, there is times when Im completely fine. Then there's time when I do nothing but think of ways to take my life. I really don't wanna get back on antidepressants because the reason I got off them in the first place was because my ex. I love my daughter more then anything, I named her melody so she could be the only I love more then music. I've stopped taking pills and drinking at the moment, and at the end of the week I plan on going job hunting.

[nicwtor]

Keep your chin up man.

“ I thought about giving up (many times). I thought about other jobs I could do. And then I thought about my baby boy growing up and telling him…when times are tough and you feel like you should stop what you’re doing and you have no more strength to keep going and you feel like your brain is melting every day because you can’t stop hoping to find a way to get out of your mess…if you just believe that you can…you can. If you believe in what you do you can do anything. If you love the people with you…you will find the strength. I want to tell him that and believe it."
-Ace Enders

[Kozzy333]

It's insane to think you are only 2 years older than me and have gone through all that shit. I think playing music you love would be the best therapy or rehab you could have. Just look for a job and look for the upsides in life. Also your band is pretty good.

[Wake Up]

Bro, get some rehabilitation. You definitely cannot do it by yourself. For a lot of people there isn't a rock bottom, and it looks like if you haven't already reached it, then you're gonna kill yourself soon.

[swallowURpride]

Honestly, there is times when Im completely fine. Then there's time when I do nothing but think of ways to take my life. I really don't wanna get back on antidepressants because the reason I got off them in the first place was because my ex. I love my daughter more then anything, I named her melody so she could be the only I love more then music. I've stopped taking pills and drinking at the moment, and at the end of the week I plan on going job hunting.

Well that's a start! And it's really sweet that you named your daughter Melody, what a beautiful name!

[ETGsynth]

Well that's a start! And it's really sweet that you named your daughter Melody, what a beautiful name!

Thank you, its weird seeing people be supportive on here when most of the people i've come across have been assholes for no reason.

[ETGsynth]

Bro, get some rehabilitation. You definitely cannot do it by yourself. For a lot of people there isn't a rock bottom, and it looks like if you haven't already reached it, then you're gonna kill yourself soon.

I know exactly what you're saying, anytime I have any kind of "negative" thought I keep pushing myself towards this show. I miss being on stage and im hoping I have a good time and maybe i'll be alot happier from it. I use to be really shy and kinda isolate myself, so at this upcoming show I think im gonna try to reach out to the people around me and be more involved then I've ever been. But right now Im pretty much on my last thread.

[spansen]

you're 19, she had a kid when you got together.. and then you "finally" (one year later) had your own?.. you moved out at 17 to get your own place with her. you're both too young, too immature, and too spontaneous for any of that.. point proven by her mood-swings and lack of responsibility.

[ETGsynth]

It's insane to think you are only 2 years older than me and have gone through all that shit. I think playing music you love would be the best therapy or rehab you could have. Just look for a job and look for the upsides in life. Also your band is pretty good.

Yeah bro, this isnt even the tip of the iceberg of all the shit I've been through. Im super stoked on the band right now, Im doing alot more vocals, I changed my setup and I'm loving it. If it wasnt for me finding music at a young age, Honestly I probably wouldnt be here. Im hoping I can find a good job with alot of hours cause thats just less time I spend on my moms couch dwelling on the past. Also, Thank you for the comment on the band, I know to alot of people we probably just lumped into the shitty synth metal catagory but I really think we do something different then most bands in the genre, Just wait till we record our new music it's alot more progressive and alot heavier.

[terror_91]

Thank you, its weird seeing people be supportive on here when most of the people i've come across have been assholes for no reason.
You are 19 and you have completely fucked your life. No one is mature enough to have a kid at that age (my point proven by your drug problem/past drug problem). What the fuck would you expect when coming onto the internet? "Shit, I wish I had drug issues and a kid! It's just what I need in my life!!!"

[Wake Up]

I know exactly what you're saying, anytime I have any kind of "negative" thought I keep pushing myself towards this show. I miss being on stage and im hoping I have a good time and maybe i'll be alot happier from it. I use to be really shy and kinda isolate myself, so at this upcoming show I think im gonna try to reach out to the people around me and be more involved then I've ever been. But right now Im pretty much on my last thread.

On a different topic. Being a father on drugs is no better than you being dead. Trust me, this shit really effects your kid so much more than you could ever imagine. Growing up since 15 without a father is fucking hard. Having one as an addict isn't much better.

And I'm not saying that you are, but don't think of rehab as a bad experience. I've made some of the best relationships in my life through rehab. Hopefully if you do go, then you can take most from it.

[ETGsynth]

you're 19, she had a kid when you got together.. and then you "finally" (one year later) had your own?.. you moved out at 17 to get your own place with her. you're both too young, too immature, and too spontaneous for any of that.. point proven by her mood-swings and lack of responsibility.

I've kinda missed most of my child and teenhood so I do think im not very mature but at the same time alot more mature then someone my age should be. All she cared about was spending money, getting new things, along with being too wrapped up in her own family. I balanced a full time job that I walked an hour to and from everyday, being on the road with my band and everything else. All I did was put up with complaining of how everything wasnt as perfect as she thought it would be, and what we didnt have instead of what we did have. If she wasnt such a big part of my life for the past near four years then this would be alot easier she was pretty much my only friend because i distanced myself from my band members and friends. In the end I really got fucked up, she never came and got any of her stuff so I had to pack it up and put it in storage with my stuff, I cleaned the house by myself, she didnt even make it to court for the eviction, but she sure as hell came and got the rest of the baby stuff my family bought when she got the chance. I guess everything happens for a reason but it seems I always end up getting the worse. Thank god for music cause otherwise I probably wouldnt be here.

[ETGsynth]

You are 19 and you have completely fucked your life. No one is mature enough to have a kid at that age (my point proven by your drug problem/past drug problem). What the fuck would you expect when coming onto the internet? "Shit, I wish I had drug issues and a kid! It's just what I need in my life!!!"

Whoa, I was mature enough for my child at the time, I had a drug problem in the past and I came clean for the sake of a healthy life and living my life to the fullest. I only fell back into the habit of addiction after I pretty much had everything wrongfully taken away from me and had nothing else left. And I'm fighting to stay clean as of now so I can get myself back on track and be where I used to be. Yes I have made huge mistakes and right now Im trying to get through this serious depression that I've dealt with most of my life so I can make things right.

[spansen]

I've kinda missed most of my child and teenhood so I do think im not very mature but at the same time alot more mature then someone my age should be. All she cared about was spending money, getting new things, along with being too wrapped up in her own family. I balanced a full time job that I walked an hour to and from everyday, being on the road with my band and everything else. All I did was put up with complaining of how everything wasnt as perfect as she thought it would be, and what we didnt have instead of what we did have. If she wasnt such a big part of my life for the past near four years then this would be alot easier she was pretty much my only friend because i distanced myself from my band members and friends. In the end I really got fucked up, she never came and got any of her stuff so I had to pack it up and put it in storage with my stuff, I cleaned the house by myself, she didnt even make it to court for the eviction, but she sure as hell came and got the rest of the baby stuff my family bought when she got the chance. I guess everything happens for a reason but it seems I always end up getting the worse. Thank god for music cause otherwise I probably wouldnt be here.
right. you've shown up and done more than she has-- but, with just seeing your age it's safe to assume that neither of you were ready for any of that. i'm sorry that she's just recklessly walked away and all, but you're doing the best you can given the situation. just keep your head up.

[ETGsynth]

On a different topic. Being a father on drugs is no better than you being dead. Trust me, this shit really effects your kid so much more than you could ever imagine. Growing up since 15 without a father is fucking hard. Having one as an addict isn't much better.

And I'm not saying that you are, but don't think of rehab as a bad experience. I've made some of the best relationships in my life through rehab. Hopefully if you do go, then you can take most from it.

My father has pretty much never been in my life so I know exactly what it is like, This is why im fighting hard to come clean and get out of this deep depression. About rehab, Im gonna try my life in music before I decide rather or not to take it to that level.

[ETGsynth]

right. you've shown up and done more than she has-- but, with just seeing your age it's safe to assume that neither of you were ready for any of that. i'm sorry that she's just recklessly walked away and all, but you're doing the best you can given the situation. just keep your head up.

Im trying so hard to keep my head above water. Believe it or not, I was ready, I was prepared to give up music and settle down and be the best father I could be. On top of that she lead me on hard for the near three or four months after that telling me how much she regret it, how sorry she was, and how much she loved me and never wanted to lose me. I think thats the part that makes it the worse and the fact I got stuck in a mess I didnt create and on top of it I lost the most out of it.

[jesse_hitz]

Unfortunately that's life sometimes, you get kicked when your down. Don't put your hopes in making it with your band either because honestly the chance of making it is slim to none. however there is still a chance so don't give up on your dream. I recommend you seek counseling or therapy to deal with your depression and how to cope with these difficult situations. more importantly hang in there buddy, life is hard but there's lots to live for and people do care wither you think it or not.

[ETGsynth]

Unfortunately that's life sometimes, you get kicked when your down. Don't put your hopes in making it with your band either because honestly the chance of making it is slim to none. however there is still a chance so don't give up on your dream. I recommend you seek counseling or therapy to deal with your depression and how to cope with these difficult situations. more importantly hang in there buddy, life is hard but there's lots to live for and people do care wither you think it or not.

Im not expecting to "make" it anywhere in the music buisness, just want to play shows and do what I love. Thank you.

[tottivillarossi]

Sucky story. But I've never understood why teenagers would want to have children.
You say to have a history of suicide attempts - plural. Not getting it right first time is one thing, but to have failed numerous times, you must really suck.
You should never, ever, have gotten involved in drugs or have tried to off yourself - for the sake of your daughter. Any decent chance you had of seeing your daughter regularly surely diminished once you started trying to kill yourself and started getting involved with drugs. Quite frankly, I can understand why the mother of your child doesn't want that sort of influence around.

[swallowURpride]

Thank you, its weird seeing people be supportive on here when most of the people i've come across have been assholes for no reason.

ha, I know what you mean. But it seems like you're asking for help, and sometimes it's better to have sort of an outside audience to give advice.

[ETGsynth]

Sucky story. But I've never understood why teenagers would want to have children.
You say to have a history of suicide attempts - plural. Not getting it right first time is one thing, but to have failed numerous times, you must really suck.
You should never, ever, have gotten involved in drugs or have tried to off yourself - for the sake of your daughter. Any decent chance you had of seeing your daughter regularly surely diminished once you started trying to kill yourself and started getting involved with drugs. Quite frankly, I can understand why the mother of your child doesn't want that sort of influence around.

She doesnt even know about my recent suicide attempts or drug addiction. Frankly she's just a bitch who likes to be in control too much. Her ex joined the marines and picked his life back together and is doing very well and she refuses to let him see their son because she wants to be the only parent in his life pretty much. The three weeks I spent with my daughter she had all these rules that I had to follow because she liked to be in control too much, I couldnt be hold the baby if she wasnt in the room, I wasnt allowed to leave the house with her, I couldnt sleep anywhere near her, She wouldnt let me changed her diapers or feed her, It was ridiculous. Never wanted to have a child, It just happened and I happily accepted it.

[swallowURpride]

You are 19 and you have completely fucked your life. No one is mature enough to have a kid at that age (my point proven by your drug problem/past drug problem). What the fuck would you expect when coming onto the internet? "Shit, I wish I had drug issues and a kid! It's just what I need in my life!!!"

I'm sure your life has been perfect then, since you're just so much better that you can look down and judge people's mistakes. His life is not completely fucked, like you said he's only 19 and he's on the internet to get advice and turn things around.

[Sloth7]

You are 19 and you have completely fucked your life. No one is mature enough to have a kid at that age (my point proven by your drug problem/past drug problem). What the fuck would you expect when coming onto the internet? "Shit, I wish I had drug issues and a kid! It's just what I need in my life!!!"


Geez man, it's no secret that this guy has problems to deal with, but throwing all of that in his face without any positive aspect or encouraging words isn't gonna help. It's easy to be harsh on the internet, but it's pretty clear he's asking for people to listen during a very hard time. I agree with a couple of points you made, but if you're just going to be 100% critical without any upside, I don't see why you posted in here in the first place.

[terror_91]

I'm sure your life has been perfect then, since you're just so much better that you can look down and judge people's mistakes. His life is not completely fucked, like you said he's only 19 and he's on the internet to get advice and turn things around.
I've never claimed that my life is perfect but it isn't just about his life. This drug addict has brought another life into this world who he plainly can't provide for. It's bigger than him and he is/was too naive to realise it. He could possibly turn his life around but let's be honest, his track record isn't great.

[terror_91]

Geez man, it's no secret that this guy has problems to deal with, but throwing all of that in his face without any positive aspect or encouraging words isn't gonna help. It's easy to be harsh on the internet, but it's pretty clear he's asking for people to listen during a very hard time. I agree with a couple of points you made, but if you're just going to be 100% critical without any upside, I don't see why you posted in here in the first place.
As mentioned in above post it is because it is more than just him.

He has to sort his shit out and there is no point telling him that everything is going to be alright if he just does his music. He needs to do more than that. If the music helps him, then that's good but he has a child to look after. That should be his priority.

[Sloth7]

As mentioned in above post it is because it is more than just him.

He has to sort his shit out and there is no point telling him that everything is going to be alright if he just does his music. He needs to do more than that. If the music helps him, then that's good but he has a child to look after. That should be his priority.


I completely agree about having a child, that's the priority. But in a situation in where he seems so down and out, and especially when he has a child to take care of, just coming down on him isn't going to help matters. Sometimes just some encouraging words can be the first step. Just telling him how he's screwed up is just treading water.

[swallowURpride]

]I've never claimed that my life is perfect[/B] but it isn't just about his life. This drug addict has brought another life into this world who he plainly can't provide for. It's bigger than him and he is/was too naive to realise it. He could possibly turn his life around but let's be honest, his track record isn't great.

Then what gives you the right to sit there behind your keyboard and tell him what a mess he's in and what a screw up he is? Like he doesn't already know. Cut a guy some slack, huh

[Alex_supertramp]

As mentioned in above post it is because it is more than just him.

He has to sort his shit out and there is no point telling him that everything is going to be alright if he just does his music. He needs to do more than that. If the music helps him, then that's good but he has a child to look after. That should be his priority.

This. There's a difference between being remorseful and showing sympathy and actually trying to help. All this "everything will be ok" shit isn't gonna make it better. OP needs to get some sort of outside assistance to help him get his life back on track and hopefully it all works out for the best.

[stereokiller]

This is my first time being jobless since 16 and it sucks. I live in a shitty part of town where there isnt anything around, I've made countless attempts to get a job around here but I'll probably try again this week cause I can't afford to be in the band without one. Honestly I've lived quite more then someone my age has, trust me. Im working on coming clean now, after I fought off coke and drinking for my ex years ago I had been completely clean till this past decemeber then I started stealing my moms pain medications and narcotics, I was taking nearly 15-20 pills at a time. I considered rehab but my band got back together.

With that story, I think everyone would agree with you right there.

I don't got anything to say that hasn't been said yet, just here for support. Good luck man. We're all rooting for you.


recommends: all you need is fucking love, MCS, The Beatles, and some other bands that fit the mood. Music saves.

[ETGsynth]

With that story, I think everyone would agree with you right there.

I don't got anything to say that hasn't been said yet, just here for support. Good luck man. We're all rooting for you.


recommends: all you need is fucking love, MCS, The Beatles, and some other bands that fit the mood. Music saves.

Thanks bro.

[terror_91]

I completely agree about having a child, that's the priority. But in a situation in where he seems so down and out, and especially when he has a child to take care of, just coming down on him isn't going to help matters. Sometimes just some encouraging words can be the first step. Just telling him how he's screwed up is just treading water.
You have a point here, undoubtedly. At the same time, however, he has come onto a place (an internet forum) where he will receive multiple opinions and varying pieces of advice. I've offered mine and it's coming down on him hard because I think it is what he needs to hear to motivate himself. If he ever wants to have a real life with his kid then he can't be told that everything is going to work out alright; it won't. He has some serious, serious work to do to get the life that he wants and if he does that hard work, the life he deserves.
Then what gives you the right to sit there behind your keyboard and tell him what a mess he's in and what a screw up he is? Like he doesn't already know. Cut a guy some slack, huh
What doesn't give me the right? He has asked for opinions and I have given mine. The guy has a kid, he doesn't deserve slack; he needs to get his shit together.