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beccasaysXRAWRX
03/03/10, 06:56 PM
if you left me
and i tried to forget you
it would be like
trying to find the keys to a car i dont own

if i left you hopefully you wouldnt forget

i was lost and you noticed

im in hell and you noticed
if you leave it will break me
more than i already am

beating the wall my
hands and heart broken and bruised

take my broken hand
my bruised heart

show me something new

theres something different about you
your hand and mine intertwined

you change my life
and now im praying you wont change your mind
beccasaysXRAWRX
03/15/10, 05:31 PM
really is it that bad?
LikeAnAvalanche
03/15/10, 05:45 PM
It's a little weak, it lacks real emotion you know what I mean? It seems like something an 8th grade screamo band would write. But then again, I'm just an asshole. Haha, keep writing though, you will always get better.
BenjaminGreen
03/15/10, 06:02 PM
Its a great start, can't just write a good song in 10 mins, thats why there is rough drafts ;) Personally I like the idea and think it has PLENTY of potentional, im me sometime if you need help sowrongitsben :D
LikeAnAvalanche
03/15/10, 06:13 PM
Its a great start, can't just write a good song in 10 mins, thats why there is rough drafts ;) Personally I like the idea and think it has PLENTY of potentional, im me sometime if you need help sowrongitsben :D

That's a little creepy man, you just solicited someone six years younger than you to IM you.
BenjaminGreen
03/15/10, 06:49 PM
That's a little creepy man, you just solicited someone six years younger than you to IM you.

Uhh mind yourself, I'm a writer trying to help someone, trust me I don't need a younger girl I do fine getting women my own age. Buzz off
LikeAnAvalanche
03/15/10, 06:50 PM
Uhh mind yourself, I'm a writer trying to help someone, trust me I don't need a younger girl I do fine getting women my own age. Buzz off

Girls are like square roots. If they're under 18, do them in your head

There is a lyric for you, captain writes-a-lot.
BenjaminGreen
03/15/10, 06:51 PM
There is a lyric for you, captain writes-a-lot.

Coming from a highschool drop out xD
LikeAnAvalanche
03/15/10, 06:53 PM
Coming from a highschool drop out xD

Wait, that doesn't even make any sense. I never once insulted you, so you couldn't have possibly dismissed my insult based on the fact that I dropped out of high school. You were just trying to insult me and it didn't work, I dropped out of high school, it was my decision, why would you think I have a problem with being one?
BenjaminGreen
03/15/10, 06:54 PM
Wait, that doesn't even make any sense. I never once insulted you, so you couldn't have possibly dismissed my insult based on the fact that I dropped out of high school. You were just trying to insult me and it didn't work, I dropped out of high school, it was my decision, why would you think I have a problem with being one?

No need for the smart remark then captain? Sorry if I hurt or insulted your character or lack of.
LikeAnAvalanche
03/15/10, 06:55 PM
No need for the smart remark then captain? Sorry if I hurt or insulted your character or lack of.

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee122/Elrandohorse/ChrisHansen.jpg
BenjaminGreen
03/15/10, 06:56 PM
Funny but on a serious note, how could you not pass high school? Did you know that 47% of high school drop outs end up on Dateline NBC? Just a little fact off hand xD
Boddah26
03/16/10, 03:54 AM
'and now im praying you wont change your mind' - cute line
beccasaysXRAWRX
03/16/10, 10:23 AM
It's a little weak, it lacks real emotion you know what I mean? It seems like something an 8th grade screamo band would write. But then again, I'm just an asshole. Haha, keep writing though, you will always get better.


i am in eighth grade but I dont want my songs to sound like I am so thank you :)
Kirsty.com
03/21/10, 03:12 PM
its goood. reminds me of something personal to me.. well done :)
BlackHeartBook
03/22/10, 04:24 PM
I think your song was a pretty good start to something that could potentially be really good. But as 4 the two twenty yr old men fighting like 4 yr olds shut ur mouths this is about this girl's writing nt who dropped out of highschool or who's creepy.
mjrebel
03/23/10, 08:48 PM
kinda sad
beccasaysXRAWRX
03/24/10, 11:14 PM
kinda sad


is that a good thing or a bad thing?
mjrebel
03/25/10, 08:09 AM
good thing
we are cured
03/25/10, 11:31 AM
not sure i get the first analogy. if you tried to forget somebody that left you, it would be like trying to find something you don't own? you're comparing erasing your mind of something with looking for something and i'm not sure it works so well.

otherwise good work, keep writing.
beccasaysXRAWRX
03/25/10, 11:52 AM
not sure i get the first analogy. if you tried to forget somebody that left you, it would be like trying to find something you don't own? you're comparing erasing your mind of something with looking for something and i'm not sure it works so well.

otherwise good work, keep writing.

Its like trying to forget the person I wrote this song about is like trying to find something I was never giving something I dont own. How can you find something you literaly do not have? Like listening to a band that isnt even around yet or how can you buy an album that isnt released yet?