Stop the World

[Raistlin]

"Of every airport I've seen
of every place I've ever been
of every christmas on own
watching Charlie Sheen alone

And when the night turns into you
I'm asking if the stars came true
I'm hoping that I'll hope today
Wont turn or fade away

Some other day
There must be a way

*chorus*

You can't stop the world
stop the blue skies when they leave you
on my own
I don't know the answers anymore
with every plane that lands
in every hotel room
I still can't believe
that she still thinks of you....
and doesn't laugh.....

And sometimes, life isn't life,
it all turns into another game show
And I wait to play every waiting game
But somehow, and someday I'll win

If I could save you
If I could save the world
If I could turn back time
If you could get the girl

And somewhere in a new york sky
They're writing the only words I could ever understand......

Come home Marie

*chorus*

You can't stop the world
stop the blue skies when they leave you
on my own
I don't know the answers anymore
with every plane that lands
in every hotel room
I still can't believe
that she still thinks of you....
and doesn't laugh....."

What do people think?
Comments would be good......:)

[matt_rawlings]

I think that alot of the rhymes are forced, it is generally pretty cliche stuff but it has a nice structure to it. Keep bashing but try not to force yourself to rhyme or write about the obvious

[Raistlin]

Thanks for that!

I'd have to say, I think you're probably right about the rhymes.
I wonder if it might sound better if I dont rhyme....? Except maybe the chorus.
What do you think?

[matt_rawlings]

Thanks for that!

I'd have to say, I think you're probably right about the rhymes.
I wonder if it might sound better if I dont rhyme....? Except maybe the chorus.
What do you think?

Its all about how you want to pace it. Have you written this with music in mind or are you a singer/musician at all?

I think the chorus is probably the best part but it could still use some work. I mean, what does this song mean? Is it honest or are you trying to writting how you think that other bands you like do?