Friends

[cristinaa]

I realized this week that I don't have very many friends, and that I have very little in common with the friends that I do have. The friends I have are really only good for going out to bars with, and lately I've realized that I'm getting really tired of that. I don't have any friends who I can go to shows with or who like any of the same music as me at all. I hardly even hang out with my friends during the day; we just go out at night. This made me realize that I need new friends and that I don't know where to find them.


Anyone else realize that they don't have anything in common with their friends or that they have no good/real friends?

[<*)))><]

Well you live in new york so you should have sex with me
/thread

[limepomegranate]

I realized this week that I don't have very many friends, and that I have very little in common with the friends that I do have. The friends I have are really only good for going out to bars with, and lately I've realized that I'm getting really tired of that. I don't have any friends who I can go to shows with or who like any of the same music as me at all. I hardly even hang out with my friends during the day; we just go out at night. This made me realize that I need new friends and that I don't know where to find them.


Anyone else realize that they don't have anything in common with their friends or that they have no good/real friends?
I just have a few good friends. But I do have a lot in common with them...sorry I don't get what you're talking about that much.

[Smash Adams]

So no one told you life was gonna be this way :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:
You're job's a joke, your broke
Your love life's D.O.A.

[ohheroine]

im sitting in my new apartment watching halloween II with 6 of my best friends. i never had friends until college and i really appreciate them

[kaycey]

i think you look quite bangable so i don't understand why.

[Debut_Fin]

i think you look quite bangable so i don't understand why.

i love the internet

[barkingincision]

So no one told you life was gonna be this way :appl: :appl: :appl:
You're job's a joke, your broke
Your love life's D.O.A.




:appl:

[cristinaa]

i think you look quite bangable so i don't understand why.

Haha, well, it's not guys I'm looking for, unless they're strictly friends, so this does not have much of an effect.

...and most of the guys I talk to pretty much suck because that seems to be the only reason that they're interested in talking to me. I'm kind of quiet so I have a hard time finding people I have anything in common with and I'm not the type of person who approaches people. I tend to befriend whatever comes my way, which in many cases is stupid guys who aren't interested in being friends and a couple of girls that I meet through people.

[cristinaa]

So no one told you life was gonna be this way :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:
You're job's a joke, your broke
Your love life's D.O.A.

I had a feeling something like this was coming after I titled this thread. haha

[saveferris]

i think you look quite bangable so i don't understand why.
That's a bit shallow

[katiep1088]

Haha, well, it's not guys I'm looking for, unless they're strictly friends, so this does not have much of an effect.

...and most of the guys I talk to pretty much suck because that seems to be the only reason that they're interested in talking to me. I'm kind of quiet so I have a hard time finding people I have anything in common with and I'm not the type of person who approaches people. I tend to befriend whatever comes my way, which in many cases is stupid guys who aren't interested in being friends and a couple of girls that I meet through people.

Wow...I'm the exact same way about stuff like this, so I know almost exactly how you feel. I've had a few close friends since high school, but that pool has shrunk since we've all gone to college. I hate trying to make new friends.

[saveferris]

I had a feeling something like this was coming after I titled this thread. haha
Move to Raleigh, NC. EVERYONE has friends in Raleigh. There's so many cool people there.

[beazer32]

:appl:

:appl:

[KatastrophiE]

Haha, well, it's not guys I'm looking for, unless they're strictly friends, so this does not have much of an effect.

...and most of the guys I talk to pretty much suck because that seems to be the only reason that they're interested in talking to me. I'm kind of quiet so I have a hard time finding people I have anything in common with and I'm not the type of person who approaches people. I tend to befriend whatever comes my way, which in many cases is stupid guys who aren't interested in being friends and a couple of girls that I meet through people.

You have to put yourself out there, put yourself in those vulnerable situations. You'll learn more about yourself and you'll give people a chance to understand a little bit more about you, even if it's the first time they've met you. I lived a very sheltered life throughout high school and that nonsense and I eventually got over my not being able to talk to people by becoming an alcoholic, which i don't really recommend, i guess im just a coward in that fashion. And it's not like i became an alcoholic and my life changed; my life transitioned and i found myself in crazy situations, which usually had an abundance of alcohol. Sorry, i got off track and thats also a terrible example. But hopefully you get my point, live a little; maybe go after the guy you've been eying instead of letting yourself be approached by some dumb drunken wannabe musician. If you let yourself go a little you might find that you have an appreciation for the things you took for granted before, who knows you might begin to like the same things your 'friends' like.

Edit: by letting yourself go i don't mean drink; sorry that cluster fuck of a paragraph is super convoluted. Im just bad at interpreting my thoughts in message board form/discussion

[barkingincision]

:appl:
ahoy

[EvilZeppelin]

Yes. I totally can relate with you.

[beazer32]

ahoy

the last "your" was correct, and you still underlined it. -1

[Smeee]

the last "your" was correct, and you still underlined it. -1

:appl:

[Andy Young]

I know exactly what you mean. There are the ones that are so involved with their girlfriends they never want to hang out and the others there isn't a lot of options for what we can do together because of our differences in interests. We end up playing video games usually because thats one of the only things we can come together and all enjoy. I haven't been to a show with someone in over a year. Making friends and meeting people is pretty difficult.

[cristinaa]

You have to put yourself out there, put yourself in those vulnerable situations. You'll learn more about yourself and you'll give people a chance to understand a little bit more about you, even if it's the first time they've met you. I lived a very sheltered life throughout high school and that nonsense and I eventually got over my not being able to talk to people by becoming an alcoholic, which i don't really recommend, i guess im just a coward in that fashion. And it's not like i became an alcoholic and my life changed; my life transitioned and i found myself in crazy situations, which usually had an abundance of alcohol. Sorry, i got off track and thats also a terrible example. But hopefully you get my point, live a little; maybe go after the guy you've been eying instead of letting yourself be approached by some dumb drunken wannabe musician. If you let yourself go a little you might find that you have an appreciation for the things you took for granted before, who knows you might begin to like the same things your 'friends' like.


I did exactly the same thing. I thought that I could use alcohol as a cure for my social awkwardness, and for a while it worked. It has helped me in a lot of ways, but it has definitely also led to a number of bad situations, and it's not enough to feel comfortable talking to some one in a bar one night and having nothing to say to them the next day. And I definitely should approach more guys, because the type of guys I attracted tend to not be at all my type.

[barkingincision]

the last "your" was correct, and you still underlined it. -1
my ahoy was in regards to your 'correcting' this error of mine
good call mate

[cristinaa]

Wow...I'm the exact same way about stuff like this, so I know almost exactly how you feel. I've had a few close friends since high school, but that pool has shrunk since we've all gone to college. I hate trying to make new friends.

Glad someone knows where I'm coming from.

[codhoppers]

People just grow apart, it is part of life. There are stages in life that we all go through when we cycle through people. Think post highschool, your group of friends got smaller, same with after college, or when you leave a job. It just happens. Do not worry about it at all. Its something in life that is just going to happen, and unless you have really bad B/O, you will be fine.

[luckyforsome]

as of last week some of my friends aren't allowed to hang out with me because I'm a bad influence or something
so now I'm latching on to random bros to hang out with. O well

[katiep1088]

Glad someone knows where I'm coming from.

Oh yeah. You're definitely not alone!

[muttley]

The couple friends the I have live in a different state, and I hardly even talk to them. I love the peace and quiet.

[broaddplease]

My friends don't like the same music as me either. My best friend's favorite artists are Avril Lavigne and Celine Dion.

But, we still have other things in common.

[beazer32]

People just grow apart, it is part of life. There are stages in life that we all go through when we cycle through people. Think post highschool, your group of friends got smaller, same with after college, or when you leave a job. It just happens. Do not worry about it at all. Its something in life that is just going to happen, and unless you have really bad B/O, you will be fine.

words of wisdom.

[takeiteasy_]

I have a boyfriend and his friends. That's about it. :(

[Loyaltabk]

So no one told you life was gonna be this way :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:
You're job's a joke, your broke
Your love life's D.O.A.
can't say we didn't see it coming

[katiebobatie]

I realized this week that I don't have very many friends, and that I have very little in common with the friends that I do have. The friends I have are really only good for going out to bars with, and lately I've realized that I'm getting really tired of that. I don't have any friends who I can go to shows with or who like any of the same music as me at all. I hardly even hang out with my friends during the day; we just go out at night. This made me realize that I need new friends and that I don't know where to find them.


Anyone else realize that they don't have anything in common with their friends or that they have no good/real friends?

I know what you mean. I had tons of friends growing up, then moved spontaneously to NYC leaving all my hometown friends behind, 3 years later I moved back home and now they are all gone. Making new friends is a pain hehe. Most of my friends now I've met through work but still a lot don't share my music taste or some of my interests which is a bummer.

[zbrmike79]

I realized this week that I don't have very many friends, and that I have very little in common with the friends that I do have. The friends I have are really only good for going out to bars with, and lately I've realized that I'm getting really tired of that. I don't have any friends who I can go to shows with or who like any of the same music as me at all. I hardly even hang out with my friends during the day; we just go out at night. This made me realize that I need new friends and that I don't know where to find them.


Anyone else realize that they don't have anything in common with their friends or that they have no good/real friends?

i've had this same feeling forever
and my "pool of friends" always tends to get smaller and smaller as time is going on
regardless... i'm from new york, if you want a new friend lets hang out.
i'm not a huge fan of going out to bars - and i love going to shows - if you like explosions in the sky we can be BFF's in like.. 2 or 3 days - tops.




also according to last.fm we're super compatible - so i think BFF status is completely possible.

[DeathOrGlory]

XVoCJJFuS60

sorry, had to be done.

[klawansie7]

i know what you're going through.
my closest friends at school are my roommates and one other person, and none of them listen to the same music as me. we don't really have anything in common, except maybe a few TV shows we all watch and that's really it.
i wish i had more friends D=

[Xx sorrow xX]

O wow just reading this made me feel sad i can't stand the thought of growing away from my friends there everything to me

I hope you find great new friends

Sorry i can't really relate (to young i guess)

[cristinaa]

i've had this same feeling forever
and my "pool of friends" always tends to get smaller and smaller as time is going on
regardless... i'm from new york, if you want a new friend lets hang out.
i'm not a huge fan of going out to bars - and i love going to shows - if you like explosions in the sky we can be BFF's in like.. 2 or 3 days - tops.




also according to last.fm we're super compatible - so i think BFF status is completely possible.

Haha, sounds good to me. I have some Explosions in the Sky on my iPod. I'll give it a few listens, then I'm sure we could attain BFF status in no time. Also, I'm sure I wouldn't miss going out to bars, I'm incredibly tired of it anyway.

[Ava1anche]

I'll be your friend.

[.invisible ink.]

I realized this week that I don't have very many friends, and that I have very little in common with the friends that I do have. The friends I have are really only good for going out to bars with, and lately I've realized that I'm getting really tired of that. I don't have any friends who I can go to shows with or who like any of the same music as me at all. I hardly even hang out with my friends during the day; we just go out at night. This made me realize that I need new friends and that I don't know where to find them.


Anyone else realize that they don't have anything in common with their friends or that they have no good/real friends?

i came to that same realization not long ago and have finally been able to do something about it. i don't have any great suggestions for where to meet people (it's really hard!) but i suggest taking classes like art, dancing, music, acting, cooking, etc. - anything that you're interested in so you can meet people with similar interests.

it's been the hardest thing for me to find people that have the same taste in music as i do, that's one thing that i don't know how to suggest because i'm in the exact same boat. i would try checking out meetup.com and seeing if there's anything locally that might fit the bill, but generally i haven't found anything quite right for that interest yet so i basically just go to shows alone (sort of sucks but whatever, it don't care because i want to see the bands not chat anyway).

good luck, it's not easy, especially once you're out of college, to meet new friends but it can be done, you just have to put yourself out there.

Move to Raleigh, NC. EVERYONE has friends in Raleigh. There's so many cool people there.
haha, that's where i live and this is where I realized that my friends royally sucked (they're only into drinking/pot and keg parties, umm, no thanks!) and I needed new ones stat! Luckily, finding new ones hasn't been that difficult but it still takes some effort that i never had to put in before when i lived elsewhere.

[chrislauren]

You have to put yourself out there, put yourself in those vulnerable situations. You'll learn more about yourself and you'll give people a chance to understand a little bit more about you, even if it's the first time they've met you. I lived a very sheltered life throughout high school and that nonsense and I eventually got over my not being able to talk to people by becoming an alcoholic, which i don't really recommend, i guess im just a coward in that fashion. And it's not like i became an alcoholic and my life changed; my life transitioned and i found myself in crazy situations, which usually had an abundance of alcohol. Sorry, i got off track and thats also a terrible example. But hopefully you get my point, live a little; maybe go after the guy you've been eying instead of letting yourself be approached by some dumb drunken wannabe musician. If you let yourself go a little you might find that you have an appreciation for the things you took for granted before, who knows you might begin to like the same things your 'friends' like.

Edit: by letting yourself go i don't mean drink; sorry that cluster fuck of a paragraph is super convoluted. Im just bad at interpreting my thoughts in message board form/discussion

This. I'm really shy too, and after i moved back to NY from houston, I lost contact with most of the people i knew. You can always try going to a show and talking to people there. It's easier to become friends with someone who likes the same music as you because you already have that in common. I know it's really hard, but you seem like a sweet girl. It'll happen for you, trust me!

[LamarVannoy]

I'm in the exact same situation, and its been bugging me for months. I only have about 5 friends from high school that I hang out with ocassionally but I dont really have much in common with them. Usually when we get together, the only thing we have to talk about is memories from high school.
I've never had a problem making friends until I left high school. I didnt realise how hard it was to meet people because they've always just been there, I've never had to make an effort before. I keep hoping that one day I'll meet some people when I go to a show alone but last night I went to a show and barely spoke to anyone. Being socially awkward doesnt help much either.

[Reaver]

I have just one very good friend who happens to be in america right now and since we're studying in different cities we don't get to see each other very often. other than that I like to be around my family, since we all find the same things funny. Everyone else is basically just .. meh.

[phil19]

i have two close friends and thats about it. apart from our sense of humour we have very little in common. but we're really good friends. they dont really like the same music as me bar a couple of bands and so i also have no-one to go to shows with.

[zbrmike79]

Haha, sounds good to me. I have some Explosions in the Sky on my iPod. I'll give it a few listens, then I'm sure we could attain BFF status in no time. Also, I'm sure I wouldn't miss going out to bars, I'm incredibly tired of it anyway.

hah, perfect! - seriously though, hit me up anytime, i'm really awesome!

[geebee889]

Haha, well, it's not guys I'm looking for, unless they're strictly friends, so this does not have much of an effect.

...and most of the guys I talk to pretty much suck because that seems to be the only reason that they're interested in talking to me. I'm kind of quiet so I have a hard time finding people I have anything in common with and I'm not the type of person who approaches people. I tend to befriend whatever comes my way, which in many cases is stupid guys who aren't interested in being friends and a couple of girls that I meet through people.


This sounds exactly like me. I just don't know how to approach people, so I tend to wait around which does me no good. I'm so nervous about moving this summer for that exact reason. I'm moving out of state to a place where I know like one person...should be an interesting experience, haha.

[kieza]

Ha, I have the same problem regarding small friend circle and not really sharing all that similar interests. Part of the problem is where I currently work, I'm a total black sheep and people just can't relate to me, plus I'm a pretty quiet person any ways. Like said its just something that happens once you leave school and potential interaction with a vast pool of like minded people. It sucks though cause I'll be practically begging people to go see bands like Drop kick Murphys and Alk Trio in the summer as they aren't interested in punk at all. The only thing I end up doing with them is going to bars/pubs which gets tiresome after a while. I swear every ones an alcoholic except me, they'll all be sorry when their livers are fucked though 15 years down the line.

[spunkmastaflex]

im sitting in my new apartment watching halloween II with 6 of my best friends. i never had friends until college and i really appreciate them

this happened to me too, except now we about to watch the illini kick ohio state's ass, wooo

[terror_91]

Ha, I have the same problem regarding small friend circle and not really sharing all that similar interests. Part of the problem is where I currently work, I'm a total black sheep and people just can't relate to me, plus I'm a pretty quiet person any ways. Like said its just something that happens once you leave school and potential interaction with a vast pool of like minded people. It sucks though cause I'll be practically begging people to go see bands like Drop kick Murphys and Alk Trio in the summer as they aren't interested in punk at all. The only thing I end up doing with them is going to bars/pubs which gets tiresome after a while. I swear every ones an alcoholic except me, they'll all be sorry when their livers are fucked though 15 years down the line.
Just go to gigs by yourself. I did last night, it wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it was going to be.

[Big_Guy]

this girl is really good looking so I think it's a case of nobody wants to be your friend because you are better looking than them. and of course no dude wants to be your friend unless they get to bang you.


shit world we live in. I would kill for a hot friend like you that enjoys good music and hates the bar scene

[TheQ]

I realized this week that I don't have very many friends, and that I have very little in common with the friends that I do have. The friends I have are really only good for going out to bars with, and lately I've realized that I'm getting really tired of that. I don't have any friends who I can go to shows with or who like any of the same music as me at all. I hardly even hang out with my friends during the day; we just go out at night. This made me realize that I need new friends and that I don't know where to find them.


Anyone else realize that they don't have anything in common with their friends or that they have no good/real friends?

Basically I've been feeling this way throughout most of college, until very recently (but it's not like everything's peachy now...). I went to a very small high school overseas, and so I had an extremely cohesive unit of friends who I had an amazing time. And then perhaps against my better judgment, I went to a big public state school for college...Of course you hear how college is going to be the best 4 years of your life and all that bullshit hype, and so when a few months through my first semester passed, and I had a few friends, none of which I really liked, I thought I was pretty much a loser. So I tried to get new friends, but in a school dominated by north face jackets, ugg boots, and the generic frat star, I was already at a disadvantage. What got me the most was that I always thought I was a very outgoing and socially engaging individual, but what I came to realize was that, like most people, I am adverse to initiating interaction/conversation...If I can get past that initial awkward meet&greet phase, I tend to do alright (especially with girls, because I feel like every girl I approach, her first reaction is "Oh, he's just trying to get me with" which is totally not the case with me, but it makes things inherently awkward...so if you want to give me any tips concerning this, I would greatly appreciate it ;) ...anyways, so I guess I tried to make new friends, but it was just easier to coast along with the ones I had but really didn't like at all. Then however, midway through my second year, I met a few guys in my apartment complex that seemed really chill. Long story short, they were pretty much drug addicts, and I started trying drugs to show them I was "one of the boys"...I just really missed that sense of camaraderie that I had with my friends in high school, and this gave seemed to give me a false sense of it for a while. So I hung out with these guys for a while, which was fun at times, but overall pretty much awful...our friendship was defined through the substances we took together, but I guess my yearning for friends was more important than my health/common sense....luckily though, rather than breaking off all ties with them, which I was prepared to do, two of them dropped out of college (terribly cliche, haha) and I now mostly hang out with my band mate, who, ironically enough, I met through one of the guys who dropped out. So basically, what it all comes down to, is after almost 3 years of college, I have one really good friend. Hahaha, and even though I'd like to have more quality friends, it is very comforting to know I have one friend at college who I can actually relate to (and even play/make music with). Anyways, I've definitely made friends by being proactive and outgoing, but when I think about it, all the really good friends I have I pretty much met by chance. My high school buddies for instance, we all were around each other all the time (and going to high school overseas nonetheless) so the sense of community was already in place for us...and now my good buddy in college, I met through my abject, druggy acquaintance, haha. So anyways, try and put yourself out there more in the meantime (being proactive never hurts), but I think sooner than you think, someone will come your way who you can have fun with and relate to (without having to be drunk to make a connection with them), and then once you meet him/her you'll hardly remember all the times when you felt like you had no real friends. However, I would suggest trying to meet people who are friends with the people you hang out with currently. It is simple enough to do, not awkward at all cause you have the mutual friend in common, and considering I met my good college friend that way, it can definitely work, hahaha.

[Side_Stack20]

wow. some of the bros in this thread. My twin brother and my best friend listen to the same music as i do, so we usually see shows together, but other than them, i have no one else to share my music taste in common with. Going to shows alone always sucks, and i hope you find some friends to share that with.

[lauren1234]

I've never really had a ton of friends but the ones that I do have are all what I consider to be best/really good friends. Of course I do have some people at school that I talk to all the time but I never hang out with them.

[get up kidd]

So no one told you life was gonna be this way :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:
You're job's a joke, your broke
Your love life's D.O.A.
I loled so hard.

[kmc]

I'm glad I happened to stumble upon this thread, because I'm in a similar situation. In high school I had a small group of friends, but I've only maintained close contact with 2 of them. In high school we all liked the same music and we went to a few shows, but it's not like music was our life or anything. In college I got more into music, meanwhile my home friends drifted away from it. Plus, none of my friends in college share my interest in going to shows. Attending shows was (and still is sometimes) a hassle, since it usually required begging someone to go with me, since I don't have a car. My favorite band is Jack's Mannequin, and from going to so many shows, I've met a great group of people who I now meet up with (althoughI still have to find a way there). Still, it would be nice to have people that I can talk about music and go to shows with (especially bands other than JM) in my everyday life, so I can understand what you're going through.

Sorry I posted my life story, but whatever.

[Bingham88]

So no one told you life was gonna be this way :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:
You're job's a joke, your broke
Your love life's D.O.A.

hahahahahahahaha made my day

[codhoppers]

I'm glad I happened to stumble upon this thread, because I'm in a similar situation. In high school I had a small group of friends, but I've only maintained close contact with 2 of them. In high school we all liked the same music and we went to a few shows, but it's not like music was our life or anything. In college I got more into music, meanwhile my home friends drifted away from it. Plus, none of my friends in college share my interest in going to shows. Attending shows was (and still is sometimes) a hassle, since it usually required begging someone to go with me, since I don't have a car. My favorite band is Jack's Mannequin, and from going to so many shows, I've met a great group of people who I now meet up with (althoughI still have to find a way there). Still, it would be nice to have people that I can talk about music and go to shows with (especially bands other than JM) in my everyday life, so I can understand what you're going through.

Sorry I posted my life story, but whatever.
thats what absolutepunk.net is for, we are all friends here. You can talk Jack's Mannequin's all day!

[turnerkr_uk]

I realized this week that I don't have very many friends, and that I have very little in common with the friends that I do have. The friends I have are really only good for going out to bars with, and lately I've realized that I'm getting really tired of that. I don't have any friends who I can go to shows with or who like any of the same music as me at all. I hardly even hang out with my friends during the day; we just go out at night. This made me realize that I need new friends and that I don't know where to find them.


Anyone else realize that they don't have anything in common with their friends or that they have no good/real friends?

pretty much sums up my situation exactly except the only people i know are people i work with really and i have absolutely zero in common with most of them even though they are nice people.

[FBTMOPenguins]

i think you look quite bangable so i don't understand why.

This totally brother man.

[Nerdy91]

One of my best friends is the complete opposite of me. I can have a view on something and she will argue with a completely different view. Then I have another best friend who is like my twin. It's really weird, but everyones friendships are different from everyone elses.

[nathaniel]

I think by going to shows you can make some good friends. Some of my best friends and I don't have much in common at all, other than our love for similar music. Just by looking at your list of favored bands, you definitely like great music! And I'm not going to be derogatory like a typical dude, but you are very cute. Lasting friends will want to do lots of things with you, as opposed to just drinking or whatever.

[Deadbolt23]

Basically I've been feeling this way throughout most of college, until very recently (but it's not like everything's peachy now...). I went to a very small high school overseas, and so I had an extremely cohesive unit of friends who I had an amazing time. And then perhaps against my better judgment, I went to a big public state school for college...Of course you hear how college is going to be the best 4 years of your life and all that bullshit hype, and so when a few months through my first semester passed, and I had a few friends, none of which I really liked, I thought I was pretty much a loser. So I tried to get new friends, but in a school dominated by north face jackets, ugg boots, and the generic frat star, I was already at a disadvantage. What got me the most was that I always thought I was a very outgoing and socially engaging individual, but what I came to realize was that, like most people, I am adverse to initiating interaction/conversation...If I can get past that initial awkward meet&greet phase, I tend to do alright (especially with girls, because I feel like every girl I approach, her first reaction is "Oh, he's just trying to get me with" which is totally not the case with me, but it makes things inherently awkward...so if you want to give me any tips concerning this, I would greatly appreciate it ;) ...anyways, so I guess I tried to make new friends, but it was just easier to coast along with the ones I had but really didn't like at all. Then however, midway through my second year, I met a few guys in my apartment complex that seemed really chill. Long story short, they were pretty much drug addicts, and I started trying drugs to show them I was "one of the boys"...I just really missed that sense of camaraderie that I had with my friends in high school, and this gave seemed to give me a false sense of it for a while. So I hung out with these guys for a while, which was fun at times, but overall pretty much awful...our friendship was defined through the substances we took together, but I guess my yearning for friends was more important than my health/common sense....luckily though, rather than breaking off all ties with them, which I was prepared to do, two of them dropped out of college (terribly cliche, haha) and I now mostly hang out with my band mate, who, ironically enough, I met through one of the guys who dropped out. So basically, what it all comes down to, is after almost 3 years of college, I have one really good friend. Hahaha, and even though I'd like to have more quality friends, it is very comforting to know I have one friend at college who I can actually relate to (and even play/make music with). Anyways, I've definitely made friends by being proactive and outgoing, but when I think about it, all the really good friends I have I pretty much met by chance. My high school buddies for instance, we all were around each other all the time (and going to high school overseas nonetheless) so the sense of community was already in place for us...and now my good buddy in college, I met through my abject, druggy acquaintance, haha. So anyways, try and put yourself out there more in the meantime (being proactive never hurts), but I think sooner than you think, someone will come your way who you can have fun with and relate to (without having to be drunk to make a connection with them), and then once you meet him/her you'll hardly remember all the times when you felt like you had no real friends. However, I would suggest trying to meet people who are friends with the people you hang out with currently. It is simple enough to do, not awkward at all cause you have the mutual friend in common, and considering I met my good college friend that way, it can definitely work, hahaha.

Holy wall of text.

[TheQ]

Holy wall of text.


It was rather cathartic...hahaha

[SubStylee]

I realized this week that I don't have very many friends, and that I have very little in common with the friends that I do have. The friends I have are really only good for going out to bars with, and lately I've realized that I'm getting really tired of that. I don't have any friends who I can go to shows with or who like any of the same music as me at all. I hardly even hang out with my friends during the day; we just go out at night. This made me realize that I need new friends and that I don't know where to find them.


Anyone else realize that they don't have anything in common with their friends or that they have no good/real friends?

Yeah,I realized that a few months ago.
I don't have "fake" friends anymore.
It's better to be alone than to be with them.

[quaker]

Well, I'm kind of taking a stab in the dark considering I don't even know you, but my guess is that you could possibly have trust issues. A large majority of people with trust isses have a difficult time establishing strong lasting relationships. I'm not trying to sound like an asshole here...honestly! Just taking a guess!

[HeyItsChelsea]

I have three friends wqo are usually there for me. Other then that I don't have any really good friends,

[PunkHearted]

i know exactly how u feel and its fucking lame.

[kaycey]

Haha, well, it's not guys I'm looking for, unless they're strictly friends, so this does not have much of an effect.

...and most of the guys I talk to pretty much suck because that seems to be the only reason that they're interested in talking to me. I'm kind of quiet so I have a hard time finding people I have anything in common with and I'm not the type of person who approaches people. I tend to befriend whatever comes my way, which in many cases is stupid guys who aren't interested in being friends and a couple of girls that I meet through people.
yeah and even if the perfect guy for you just happened to come along you'd tell him to fuck off too huh.
what exactly do you like. i mean how different can your interests be that you're finding it so hard to find a conversation/common ground with others.

[cristinaa]

yeah and even if the perfect guy for you just happened to come along you'd tell him to fuck off too huh.
what exactly do you like. i mean how different can your interests be that you're finding it so hard to find a conversation/common ground with others.

No, I was just saying that I wasn't looking for guys, I was looking for friends. Of course if I met a cool guy I'd be interested.

And...It's not that I can't have a conversation with my friends. I just went to dinner with some of my friends last night and we stayed and talked for a few hours. We definitely have things to talk about. I just have some interests, such as music, that are important to me that my friends are completely uninterested in and I sometimes wish that I had some friends that I could discuss those kinds of things with. I do like the friends that I have, I just wish we had more in common and that they were more reliable.

[RushAndAPush]

Who needs friends?

[kaycey]

No, I was just saying that I wasn't looking for guys, I was looking for friends. Of course if I met a cool guy I'd be interested.

And...It's not that I can't have a conversation with my friends. I just went to dinner with some of my friends last night and we stayed and talked for a few hours. We definitely have things to talk about. I just have some interests, such as music, that are important to me that my friends are completely uninterested in and I sometimes wish that I had some friends that I could discuss those kinds of things with. I do like the friends that I have, I just wish we had more in common and that they were more reliable.
:highfive:
so your normal then! lol
good hunting.

[zbrmike79]

No, I was just saying that I wasn't looking for guys, I was looking for friends. Of course if I met a cool guy I'd be interested.

And...It's not that I can't have a conversation with my friends. I just went to dinner with some of my friends last night and we stayed and talked for a few hours. We definitely have things to talk about. I just have some interests, such as music, that are important to me that my friends are completely uninterested in and I sometimes wish that I had some friends that I could discuss those kinds of things with. I do like the friends that I have, I just wish we had more in common and that they were more reliable.


can we talk music yet?!

[teaahnuh]

i know exactly how you feel. im a senior in high school and have a few really good friends that i hang out with and random acquaintances. i dont even know what im going to do when i go to college. i feel like i wont connect with anyone, and it will suck. i feel like im so awkward at times and just analyze everything. i just hate the whole predicament of finding/looking for friends. its terrible. i just wait for people to come to me, or just randomly talk to someone who is near me. whatever. it just sucks.

[In2deep]

I can see where you're coming from. I don't really understand a lot of my friends. Mostly my old friends and we're growing apart. It sucks but its life. But, I have put myself out there and befriended people who are fun and I enjoy being around. I find friends in the strangest situations/ places. And please people get your heads out of the gutter. I don't mean it in that way.

[In2deep]

i know exactly how you feel. im a senior in high school and have a few really good friends that i hang out with and random acquaintances. i dont even know what im going to do when i go to college. i feel like i wont connect with anyone, and it will suck. i feel like im so awkward at times and just analyze everything. i just hate the whole predicament of finding/looking for friends. its terrible. i just wait for people to come to me, or just randomly talk to someone who is near me. whatever. it just sucks.

That's totally how I felt in 10th grade. Just go up to anyone who seems friendly. I only approach people who seem friendly. Sometimes they are friendly, sometime not. But, its worth a shot. I know this is easier said than done. Good luck.

[Forever.Zero]

It's true that this happens to everybody.
You just need to know which of your friends are up for what.
Like, I love going to comic shops and record stores but my best friend has no patience with it at all. But I have other friends who are into that kind of stuff. Just gotta balance it out.
Who knows, maybe you will want to go out to a bar and the friends you have now would be down to go with you.

as of last week some of my friends aren't allowed to hang out with me because I'm a bad influence or something
so now I'm latching on to random bros to hang out with. O well

...what did you do?