Kif
08/07/06, 05:35 AM
Firstly, I want to stress the trouble I had naming this thread. "I fucked over my dad", "I blew off my dad", "I pulled one over on my dad". Seriously, it can't just be me thinking about the innuendoes (Luckily with no mental pictures thank god).
Anyway, I was supposed to be meeting him today for the first time since Christmas 2004. Needless to say, we don't have the best relationship. He left my mum a long time ago, which was OK. They still got along, and I enjoyed the extra £5 pocket money and Saturday nights I saw him. We'd rent movies, play pool, go down the pub where my friend lived and I'd hang out in the garden with my friends playing hide and seek and stuff.
Then he re-married, and I don't particularly like his new wife. She seems very bossy and anal about the smallest things. I ended up not returning his calls and just letting go. This was when I was about 15. Then he wrote me a letter asking if he could see me, so I rang him and said sure. We met a few times, pretended to care about each other's lives and whatnot, and then drifted apart again.
Which brings us here. He rang me again about a week ago asking to meet. It's my 18th birthday in 2 days, a grand event for some I'm sure, but not a big deal to me. Just more pressure to do good in the world and the fact that I can legally obtain beer. So I agreed to meet him, but I wasn't happy about it. I don't know, I just don't really care that much for my dad. He's never been much a part of my life, even when we had regular contact, and he's never affected any major decisions I've had to make. I know I'm young, but still, I coped.
So I just now text him saying something came up and that I couldn't meet him. I feel so fucked because of it, because I have no idea what he wants. For all I know, he just wants to wish me a happy 18th. But he didn't see my at my 17th birthday, nor my 16th.
Yeah, in this thread, you tell me how bad a person I am.
Anyway, I was supposed to be meeting him today for the first time since Christmas 2004. Needless to say, we don't have the best relationship. He left my mum a long time ago, which was OK. They still got along, and I enjoyed the extra £5 pocket money and Saturday nights I saw him. We'd rent movies, play pool, go down the pub where my friend lived and I'd hang out in the garden with my friends playing hide and seek and stuff.
Then he re-married, and I don't particularly like his new wife. She seems very bossy and anal about the smallest things. I ended up not returning his calls and just letting go. This was when I was about 15. Then he wrote me a letter asking if he could see me, so I rang him and said sure. We met a few times, pretended to care about each other's lives and whatnot, and then drifted apart again.
Which brings us here. He rang me again about a week ago asking to meet. It's my 18th birthday in 2 days, a grand event for some I'm sure, but not a big deal to me. Just more pressure to do good in the world and the fact that I can legally obtain beer. So I agreed to meet him, but I wasn't happy about it. I don't know, I just don't really care that much for my dad. He's never been much a part of my life, even when we had regular contact, and he's never affected any major decisions I've had to make. I know I'm young, but still, I coped.
So I just now text him saying something came up and that I couldn't meet him. I feel so fucked because of it, because I have no idea what he wants. For all I know, he just wants to wish me a happy 18th. But he didn't see my at my 17th birthday, nor my 16th.
Yeah, in this thread, you tell me how bad a person I am.