Girlfriend leaving for college

[JMac31]

So me and my current girlfriend have been together now for about a year, and things have been really good between us. the problem im having is that she is leaving in a few weeks for college, its only about two hours away from my house though which isnt too bad, i mean ill see her on the weekends still. but im still really nervous about it.. really nervous. even though well be close shes still in a completely different world than me, and it doesnt help that its a notorious party school. and shes one of those girls whos constantly flirting with every guy she meets.. im sure you know the type. but i trust her completely.. i dont see her cheating on me, but i could see her leaving me for some new guy at college. maybe im just overreacting and things will be fine, or am i dillusional to think well stay together. i have no idea what college is really like because im still in high school, but living in a dorm with many other guys isnt to comforting. have any of you been in this situation? or know people who have etc... i could use some advice good or bad. thanks guys

[ben pequeno]

don't rule out anything... good luck though and remember, all girls lie.

[FondestMemory]

there's really not any advice to give here.

just wait it out. you have to let things happen how they're gonna happen.

worrying about what may happen gets you nowhere.

[bobbo8]

Just dont become overbearing and worry every time she goes out. Hope it works out for you.

[I am all talk]

Spy on her.

[FScott]

drunken sex

[selftitled85]

if you trust her then hopefully you will be good.

if she cheats on you then you know shes not worth it.

[illbeyourcure]

trust.

[Brianfarg]

More often than not, these become a problem for people, but you two can make it work. You just have to see how things go.

[allelish]

I'm going to uni next year and my g/f will still be here. I'll be about 2-3 hours away but she has total trust in me and i am not the sort who would cheat no matter how drunk i was. I have a lot of hope, i know things will be great.

[boysdontcry17]

don't rule out anything... good luck though and remember, all girls lie.

this is true

[ParadeInTheRain]

I've been in this position, I wasn't in high school at the time, but I was commuting to a college while at home while my gf of 3 years (at the time) moved about 1 1/2 hours away. The distance doesn't have to be a problem, it may accentuate small nit-picky type problems, but you guys just have to do your best to realize that you're relationship is bigger than nonsense. That said, and this should seem obvious.. but don't overlook it, but make sure do little things on your end, make the most of every phone call, every 'cute' email, always try and give her a reason to smile about her life, and you.

[SC0926]

every situation is different..but I wouldnt really count on it totally working out. You say your gonna see her every weekend..until she gets busy..or you get busy..or theres something going on..and so on and so on. Obviously some couples work..but for the most part, as much as Ive seen in my college years...it usually doesnt. But best of luck to you guys(sorry for being the downer)

[Kram41]

Eh...every situation is different. My girlfriend and I went away to different colleges 4 hours apart at the same time and we're still together after 2 years.

It depends on the people involved as to whether it can work out or not.

It might be different with you still being in high school that she'll want to date someone "on the same level" as her or whatever.

Just wait and see. Hope things work out!

[allelish]

It depends on the people involved as to whether it can work out or not.

that is exactly it. If she is only interested in you, and you are the same with her, then it could all go well.

[aolsux]

my girlfriend and I are going to colleges 15 minutes away from another, tis nice

[sarah211]

My boyfriend and I are going to school 23 hours away, yeah, PA and FL. We are counting on it working.

[mikeford]

break up with her now and save yourself the grief of the 3am "i just fucked another dude but i was drunk so i swear i still love you forever seriously" phonecall.

[xvszero]

'and shes one of those girls whos constantly flirting with every guy she meets.. im sure you know the type. but i trust her completely.. i dont see her cheating on me'

Honest question. Why on Earth would you "trust completely" a girl who is constantly flirting with other guys? At BEST she is being disrespectful, and at worst she wants/needs attention from other guys (which isn't good in any relationship, let alone one where she barely sees you.)

[mht]

break up with her now and save yourself the grief of the 3am "i just fucked another dude but i was drunk so i swear i still love you forever seriously" phonecall.




trust me, hes right, and since im reading and go to school in reading i was an hour away from my girlfriend my freshman year (this past year) of college, after a year and wasting my whole freshman year, she did(cheated) it when i came home, nothing is worse than knowing you wasted a year of college on a girl who cheats on you in night at the beginning of summer (this one infact, last june) but in less than a month i am not wasting school on a girl again this time, i learned my lesson, you only experience college once, and i dont feel like experiencing college at age 35 like most of the losers do.

[ky19]

You just need to trust her. It'll be tough being so far away from one another, but if you two really care about one another, it'll work out.

[thebestkylever]

trust.

yep.

[ParadeInTheRain]

@ mht and other cynics,

I feel bad for people that think it is "wasted" time when you are in love with someone (or at least care about them enough), and want to keep that relationship - even if it is you are apart. Even if it doesn't work out (as in my case it did not) it is still time much better spent on somebody and a relationship that means something to you, than going to a thousand hollow parties, multiple empty physical attachments, and everything else that goes into the 'everykid college life.' Relationships aren't always meant to be easy, and if you want one that is worth having sometimes you have to find ways to work through it. However, nor are they meant to be entirely too hard... and if it descends into nothing but fighting and guilt trips, at least you tried to make something real.

[AShannon04]

Like someone else said, don't turn into the total freak boyfriend from far away who feels the need to costantly check on her to see what she's doing at all times. Let her enjoy college, and if she loves you and trusts you, then she'll be fine.

[mht]

@ mht and other cynics,

I feel bad for people that think it is "wasted" time when you are in love with someone (or at least care about them enough), and want to keep that relationship - even if it is you are apart. Even if it doesn't work out (as in my case it did not) it is still time much better spent on somebody and a relationship that means something to you, than going to a thousand hollow parties, multiple empty physical attachments, and everything else that goes into the 'everykid college life.' Relationships aren't always meant to be easy, and if you want one that is worth having sometimes you have to find ways to work through it. However, nor are they meant to be entirely too hard... and if it descends into nothing but fighting and guilt trips, at least you tried to make something real.



i agree but damn, what a way to break my heart ya know, like have some self pride and respect for someone you say you love, i believe if a relationship isnt to last than its not, but dont fuck another guy in a sink, thats just low. to cheat or be shady and shit.

[theGrue]

break up with her now and save yourself the grief of the 3am "i just fucked another dude but i was drunk so i swear i still love you forever seriously" phonecall.
Agreed. Highschool relationships aren't meant to last forever. College is a biiig deal for people, they're out on their own, there's plenty to drink, lots of boys and girls conclude that it is the time to experiment with new experiences and whatnot.

[mrzippo3]

"Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light
Just don't forget to think about me
And I won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said

Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off
Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything
But I'd go through hell for you and

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me"

[preppyak]

break up with her now and save yourself the grief of the 3am "i just fucked another dude but i was drunk so i swear i still love you forever seriously" phonecall.

Yeah...my old Physics teacher used to call August 1st "Break UP Day"...it was the day you and your bg/gf decided not to take the time going into the semester still dating...saved a lot of problems for people.

There's a very high chance that something goes wrong...colleges aren't very good for making relationships last...I know that much.

[IAmNietzche]

Frat guy's gonna bone your girlfriend bro.

[jaimej]

break up with her now and save yourself the grief of the 3am "i just fucked another dude but i was drunk so i swear i still love you forever seriously" phonecall.
Hahaha, you're so damn right too.

[nateisawesome]

my girlfriend lives 14 hours away

I think you all can manage 2 hours

[ky19]

my girlfriend lives 14 hours away

I think you all can manage 2 hours

Yep. The boy I've been trying to have a relationship with is now 14 hours away from me for 2 years. I pretty much have given up on trying now.

[popdisaster00]

My man, i am in the EXACT same situation as you right now. I'm going into my senior year and my girlfriend is going into her first year at college about 45 minutes away. I know she's a little closer and I could actually manage to see her on a school night if i dont have work (homework shouldnt be a problem, im sliding my senior year) but otherwise my friend, I am right there with you and I am just as worried. At the end of the day though, it depends on who is involved and just making sure you trust her. Dont let it get to your head. Go to her school, walk around campus with her - holding her hand, make sure she's got pictures of you up in her dorm and stuff. just make sure she knows youre ALWAYS interested in her and that should hopefully keep her interested in you.

I am planning on going to the same school as my girlfriend next year, but I'm not sure if I'll follow through with that if we don't stay together until then. Think about it. Just keep seeing her as much as possible and realize that you aren't young anymore, and this is life. From here on out, relationships can get hard. But these problems eventually get resolved and only make you stronger.

If it helps, i have a friend, who is a girl, who was in the same situation as we are but last year. Her boyfriend and her stayed together all year and now she's going to the same school as him this fall. And they're happy.

[RememberFminus2]

as much as you hate to admit it. shes going to get drunk and have sex with someone. its inevitable. im not trying to be a dick or something but im sure theres a 99 percent chance that happens.

[xTJx]

If she won't let you do her in the butt now, it's not meant to work out. If she lets you do her in the butt, well, then do her in the butt!

[we are cured]

@ mht and other cynics,

I feel bad for people that think it is "wasted" time when you are in love with someone (or at least care about them enough), and want to keep that relationship - even if it is you are apart. Even if it doesn't work out (as in my case it did not) it is still time much better spent on somebody and a relationship that means something to you, than going to a thousand hollow parties, multiple empty physical attachments, and everything else that goes into the 'everykid college life.' Relationships aren't always meant to be easy, and if you want one that is worth having sometimes you have to find ways to work through it. However, nor are they meant to be entirely too hard... and if it descends into nothing but fighting and guilt trips, at least you tried to make something real.

You're right. But...

Just remember that the two of you will be in completely different worlds. Don't try to comprehend her world, and don't explain yours to her. It's really that simple- people can't stand to be missing out on something. If it comes up in conversation, fine, but don't dwell on it. Show her that you care about her, but if she's hanging out with some her friends and a few dudes, don't sweat it. It's a really difficult thing..you have to show her that you love her, but that you aren't cramping her new life. To be honest, there are a lot of success stories with college-distance relationships, but most of these things don't pan out the way you want them to.

Of course if she's calling you all the time and isn't adapting to her surroundings, you've gotta be there for her.

[LostSymphonies]

i've been in two long distance relationships in the past year, the first one with a party girl who i had to break it off with because she had a thing for anybody in a band

and now i'm with the girl i've loved since my sophomore year of high school and she goes to school two hours away and it is completely doable, good luck my man, i suggest bringing up your concerns with her

[mikeford]

just dont come cryin here when she fucks a dude with a popped collar and bleached tips, k?

[Kram41]

i could use some advice good or bad. thanks guys

i'm glad you're open to bad advice too.