Dating mixed with Politics?

[And Hours Pass]

Preface: I searched around for a thread like this and couldn't find one. Feel free to redirect me or delete this if it already exists.
Preface 2: I figured this could maybe go PL or Politics so I defaulted here. If you think this is better suited for Politics, feel free to move it or I can delete and recreate.

I met a girl recently who has very strong political viewpoints that differ from mine; however, while we've joked about it - it really hasn't come to a head and we just say "to each his/her own." I used to be of the belief that I could never really be with somebody who had vastly opposing political viewpoints to my own, but I'm starting to think I may have been wrong.

Where does everybody land on this? Have you dated somebody with a strong opposing viewpoint? Have you found it difficult? Any success stories out there (other than James Carville and Mary Matalin)?

[iRoqkr]

It doesn't matter for me

[sleepyseanzzz]

My gf voted for Obama because she didn't know better at the time but it doesn't matter to me. I'd rather agree on favorite sports teams than on politics. As long as I still get to see her naked it's all good.

[Mandee, darling]

I've dated guys with different political opinions, and out of all of them, one in particular really went downhill whenever it was discussed. I never tried to force him to even consider my side, but he did... and it didn't end well.

[And Hours Pass]

My gf voted for Obama because she didn't know better at the time but it doesn't matter to me. I'd rather agree on favorite sports teams than on politics. As long as I still get to see her naked it's all good.
Ha, that last part made me laugh. I always felt as though I couldn't be with somebody incredibly religious or very politically different from me because aspects of each of those worlds can play a strong part in a relationship.

Take abortion for example. If two people in a relationship have differing views on it, that's got to come to mind in the bedroom. If it were two pro-choice people that had a condom break and a pregnancy occur, they'd go to PP. If two pro-life people had that situation, they'd would obviously keep it (regardless of whether they would put it up for adoption later). But if you have one pro-choice and one pro-life, I can't imagine the pro-choice person doesn't think about it every now and then because if the situation occurs (especially if the girl is the pro-life one), they're in trouble.

While that situation is extreme, it was situations like those that made me want to stay away from it.

[And Hours Pass]

I've dated guys with different political opinions, and out of all of them, one in particular really went downhill whenever it was discussed. I never tried to force him to even consider my side, but he did... and it didn't end well.
Have you found that it's easier to be in relationships with people with similar political beliefs? Or I guess a better question is whether you try to partially avoid those with very differing beliefs after encountering that guy you described?

[Mandee, darling]

Have you found that it's easier to be in relationships with people with similar political beliefs? Or I guess a better question is whether you try to partially avoid those with very differing beliefs after encountering that guy you described?

Yeah, for me it's easier to be in a relationship with someone with similar beliefs, in a way, simply because there are less confrontations. I mean, I don't mind being in a relationship with someone who has different opinions as I do, I just don't think that they should try to force theirs on me and try to change me altogether. And I've noticed that I keep my opinions to myself when it comes to subjects like politics, religion, etc., just to avoid conflict. It's kind of a taboo subject for relationships, unless you know that there is a solid ground of respect between the two.

[atticus18244fss]

Politics are really that important to you? :-0

[Mandee, darling]

Politics are really that important to you? :-0

It's not THAT important, but it does have some importance. So?

[atticus18244fss]

It's not THAT important, but it does have some importance. So?

I didn't think anyone except politicians took politics that seriously. meh

[Mandee, darling]

I didn't think anyone except politicians took politics that seriously. meh

I'm sorry?

[atticus18244fss]

I'm sorry?

forgiven

[singyoutocoma]

Went out with a girl last Sunday though whom I had high hopes for -- and it just crashed and burned. I knew I was rather liberal and she was hardline conservative beforehand, but I thought we wouldn't have to make it a big deal; it'd be good for jokes but wouldn't matter. Wrong. Evidently "giving people examples of how to work hard is more loving than giving them handouts," Palestine "only says they care about an independent state; inside the country it's all propaganda about killing Jews," and if I disagree, I've just obviously never thought the issues through.

Fuck, it was bad. I don't mind dating people with different opinions, but I'll never date someone where the concept of a good person equals a person who supports X political party.

[HometownHero]

Politics are really that important to you? :-0

Yeah who gives a fuck how this country is run, how we get to live our lives, our economy, etc etc. That stuff is not at all important and should only be discussed by politicians!!!!

/sarcasm

But my girlfriend has opposite view points on politics and we don't talk about it, and she's Christian and I don't like religion so we choose omit those two things from the conversation at all times to avoid fights

[bladerdude360]

I'm pretty liberal and am dating a girl now who has more conservative views and is involved in politics (helping run the campaign for the Republican candidate for Illinois governor, Campus Republicans, interned in the Senate in DC over the summer, etc.). Although she is involved with the Republican party, she claims to hold more libertarian views, and we actually agree on many issues, such as gay rights and abortion (although she doesn't think she would have one, she supports a woman's right to choose), and we are open about our views. We don't agree on everything but we respect each others' opinions and don't let it come between us. We have a really good relationship and even though I previously thought I could never date a conservative girl it hasn't been a big issue at all.

[atticus18244fss]

Yeah who gives a fuck how this country is run, how we get to live our lives, our economy, etc etc. That stuff is not at all important and should only be discussed by politicians!!!!

/sarcasm

But my girlfriend has opposite view points on politics and we don't talk about it, and she's Christian and I don't like religion so we choose omit those two things from the conversation at all times to avoid fights

Cool story bro

/sarcasm

[HometownHero]

Cool story bro

/sarcasm

Maybe one day you will be one of those adult things. Until then I wish you would stop taking up all my air

[atticus18244fss]

Maybe one day you will be one of those adult things. Until then I wish you would stop taking up all my air

I highly doubt I will ever care my friend. ;-)

[HometownHero]

I highly doubt I will ever care my friend. ;-)

Then hopefully you end up drafted or something

[atticus18244fss]

Then hopefully you end up drafted or something

To bad I do not live in the USA where everything is fucked beyond belief.

[HometownHero]

To bad I do not live in the USA where everything is fucked beyond belief.

It's getting better here. Unemployment is going up. Health care is getting better. I do miss my Canadian homeland however, so since you are from there I have to stop being a dick. Because Canada rules

[atticus18244fss]

It's getting better here. Unemployment is going up. Health care is getting better. I do miss my Canadian homeland however, so since you are from there I have to stop being a dick. Because Canada rules

Yes, yes it does. I probably will end up moving to Cali or something when I get older though. So I might end up caring about politics then...

[phil19]

its the same with religious differences. if both people are tolerant, understanding and accepting this shouldnt be a problem

[whiterussian]

its the same with religious differences. if both people are tolerant, understanding and accepting this shouldnt be a problem

This sums it up nicely.

[.invisible ink.]

i don't think i could ever date someone who was ultra-conservative (i'm libertarian), i even have a problem with super democrats who want the government to keep growing, that being said, i would probably date someone who has opposite views when it comes to some things i hold dear (food politics - organics, no-GMOs, etc.) even though it would bother me to no end and I'd probably try to convert them to my point of view. Yeah, I dunno, I think fundamental differences in beliefs will eventually blow up in your face when in a relationship with someone.

[sleepyseanzzz]

Yeah who gives a fuck how this country is run, how we get to live our lives, our economy, etc etc. That stuff is not at all important and should only be discussed by politicians!!!!

/sarcasm

But my girlfriend has opposite view points on politics and we don't talk about it, and she's Christian and I don't like religion so we choose omit those two things from the conversation at all times to avoid fights

someone would date you?

[Forever.Zero]

I've dated guys with different political opinions, and out of all of them, one in particular really went downhill whenever it was discussed. I never tried to force him to even consider my side, but he did... and it didn't end well.
One of my friends is like this and it's a huge buzz kill.

[matt_bergeron]

i always thought dating someone with different political views would make for interesting conversation..... that is if both people can hold an adult conversation without going crazy.

[HometownHero]

someone would date you?

I'm quite the catch

[Chancetobe]

I once dated, but didn't get into a relationship with someone with differing politics. He knew I was passionate and purposely never brought it up or argued with me. However, I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone with different social politics (financially, I understand the other side of the spectrum, but not on social issues) as I tend to think people with differing views than me are just bad people. I wouldn't be able to respect them, even if the political talk never came up, so it just wouldn't work.

[frenchatticus]

Every time my ex brought up her political views it annoyed the hell out of me because she had no idea what she was talking about. So in my experience, I won't be dating another liberal.

[KillTheHausEnvy]

You know, I'm on the opposite side of this, kinda. The guy I'm talking to right now is heavily into politics and likes to have debates about a lot of things, but I end up feeling like a moron because I don't think I'm informed enough to have (or argue) a valid opinion. Where can I get more informed about the issues/policies/new bills being introduced, etc? Are there any reputable news sources that you politically-minded people check daily?

[atticus18244fss]

You know, I'm on the opposite side of this, kinda. The guy I'm talking to right now is heavily into politics and likes to have debates about a lot of things, but I end up feeling like a moron because I don't think I'm informed enough to have (or argue) a valid opinion. Where can I get more informed about the issues/policies/new bills being introduced, etc? Are there any reputable news sources that you politically-minded people check daily?

TMZ.com
Gawker.com

[KillTheHausEnvy]

TMZ.com
Gawker.com

Dick.

[atticus18244fss]

Dick.

I wasn't kidding. Gawker has political shit I read sometimes.

[Numero10]

As long as she's not a big Nazi or anything

[drawndead]

Me and my Ex had similar political views so it didn't matter much

[bladerdude360]

As long as she's not a big Nazi or anything
kPPaKFJukDA

[And Hours Pass]

Yeah, for me it's easier to be in a relationship with someone with similar beliefs, in a way, simply because there are less confrontations. I mean, I don't mind being in a relationship with someone who has different opinions as I do, I just don't think that they should try to force theirs on me and try to change me altogether. And I've noticed that I keep my opinions to myself when it comes to subjects like politics, religion, etc., just to avoid conflict. It's kind of a taboo subject for relationships, unless you know that there is a solid ground of respect between the two.

That's exactly how I've felt. I thought it was this elephant in the room and then it would come up and cause conflict. With the most recent girl I met, it hasn't come up and when it does (she called me a bleeding heart liberal), it's all in jest. I guess if this really went much further this might come to a head, but I'm just surprised it hasn't yet.

Went out with a girl last Sunday though whom I had high hopes for -- and it just crashed and burned. I knew I was rather liberal and she was hardline conservative beforehand, but I thought we wouldn't have to make it a big deal; it'd be good for jokes but wouldn't matter. Wrong. Evidently "giving people examples of how to work hard is more loving than giving them handouts," Palestine "only says they care about an independent state; inside the country it's all propaganda about killing Jews," and if I disagree, I've just obviously never thought the issues through.

Fuck, it was bad. I don't mind dating people with different opinions, but I'll never date someone where the concept of a good person equals a person who supports X political party.

Yeah, this is absolutely something I'll never do. I think the situation you described is the exact reason I've avoided dating people with strongly opposing political views.

I'm pretty liberal and am dating a girl now who has more conservative views and is involved in politics (helping run the campaign for the Republican candidate for Illinois governor, Campus Republicans, interned in the Senate in DC over the summer, etc.). Although she is involved with the Republican party, she claims to hold more libertarian views, and we actually agree on many issues, such as gay rights and abortion (although she doesn't think she would have one, she supports a woman's right to choose), and we are open about our views. We don't agree on everything but we respect each others' opinions and don't let it come between us. We have a really good relationship and even though I previously thought I could never date a conservative girl it hasn't been a big issue at all.

I don't know if I could handle dating someone who was so strongly willed in her political beliefs that she held the internships/jobs that your girlfriend does (on either side of the political spectrum). I do think that your story gives hope to those who don't think it's possible, so cheers to you! :clap:

I once dated, but didn't get into a relationship with someone with differing politics. He knew I was passionate and purposely never brought it up or argued with me. However, I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone with different social politics (financially, I understand the other side of the spectrum, but not on social issues) as I tend to think people with differing views than me are just bad people. I wouldn't be able to respect them, even if the political talk never came up, so it just wouldn't work.

Do you really believe that people with differing views are bad people? Doesn't that seem a bit harsh? For example, if you didn't believe in gay marriage, but a friend of yours did - would that make them a bad person?

[Chancetobe]

That's exactly how I've felt. I thought it was this elephant in the room and then it would come up and cause conflict. With the most recent girl I met, it hasn't come up and when it does (she called me a bleeding heart liberal), it's all in jest. I guess if this really went much further this might come to a head, but I'm just surprised it hasn't yet.



Yeah, this is absolutely something I'll never do. I think the situation you described is the exact reason I've avoided dating people with strongly opposing political views.



I don't know if I could handle dating someone who was so strongly willed in her political beliefs that she held the internships/jobs that your girlfriend does (on either side of the political spectrum). I do think that your story gives hope to those who don't think it's possible, so cheers to you! :clap:



Do you really believe that people with differing views are bad people? Doesn't that seem a bit harsh? For example, if you didn't believe in gay marriage, but a friend of yours did - would that make them a bad person?

It's the reverse. I do believe, STRONGLY, in gay marriage. If someone didn't, I can't see any reasoning except for plain ol' discrimination. And yes, in my opinion, that would make someone a bad person. If they try to tell someone else what to do on the basis of their own prejudices.

[And Hours Pass]

It's the reverse. I do believe, STRONGLY, in gay marriage. If someone didn't, I can't see any reasoning except for plain ol' discrimination. And yes, in my opinion, that would make someone a bad person. If they try to tell someone else what to do on the basis of their own prejudices.
Should've looked to see you were from NY. While I strongly agree with your beliefs, I don't think I can just call a group of people "bad people." If somebody were pro-life they truly have different beliefs than me and were brought up with different values. I can't let myself believe that makes them bad. Maybe just not aligned with my value system.

[Chancetobe]

Should've looked to see you were from NY. While I strongly agree with your beliefs, I don't think I can just call a group of people "bad people." If somebody were pro-life they truly have different beliefs than me and were brought up with different values. I can't let myself believe that makes them bad. Maybe just not aligned with my value system.
Ok, maybe I phrased it the wrong way. They don't have the same values to me, and that is important, and so things just wouldn't work.

I actually can see the counter argument to abortion. Gay Marriage just happens to be the one debate where I don't think the other side has a valid point, at all.

[bloodyr0mance87]

i think it depends on how much you are going to talk about these things and, if it's a lot, how willing you both are to live and let live. my g/f and i talk about politics and religion all the time and we hold opposite views on a majority of issues. she always makes fun of me for voting for obama and being a liberal atheist (which is only half true). we hurl insults in good fun and we don't let our differences get in the way of the other reasons why we like each other.

that being said, i know a lot of people that are so staunch in their beliefs that i could never be with them because they don't respect anybody's opinion except those that are in accordance with theirs. this has nothing to do with where they lie on the political spectrum, but in their complete lack of open-mindedness.

success story: my AP Government teacher in hs was a really big liberal and his wife was a really big conservative. one time someone in the class asked how they got along at home and he said, "we really just try not to talk about it because i didn't marry her for her politics and vice versa."

[Hagysaurus Rex]

My gf voted for Obama because she didn't know better at the time but it doesn't matter to me. I'd rather agree on favorite sports teams than on politics. As long as I still get to see her naked it's all good.

I lol'd

[Hagysaurus Rex]

Personally, politics doesn't matter much to me (I work with economics and research, so I'm kinda "meh" about political ideologies.) I'm much happier with a girl if we have other things in common (sense of humor, music tastes, long term goals, etc.) My only political breaking point is if a girl thinks that Palin is a smart, unbiased, sensible, and politically brilliant woman. There's no second date after that, no matter how good everything else is.

[Nuns On A Bus]

Take abortion for example. If two people in a relationship have differing views on it, that's got to come to mind in the bedroom. If it were two pro-choice people that had a condom break and a pregnancy occur, they'd go to PP. If two pro-life people had that situation, they'd would obviously keep it (regardless of whether they would put it up for adoption later). But if you have one pro-choice and one pro-life, I can't imagine the pro-choice person doesn't think about it every now and then because if the situation occurs (especially if the girl is the pro-life one), they're in trouble.

While that situation is extreme, it was situations like those that made me want to stay away from it.

This happened to me. I slept with a girl, and she thought she was pregnant for a while until she was able to take a pregnancy test which turned out to be negative. I just assumed she would get an abortion if that was the case since we were way too young to have a kid (still are, really), but instead she told me that she "couldn't live with herself" if she got one. I'm very pro-choice because growing up with a little brother and sister has basically made me hate all children with a passion, so this was like a nightmare to me.

Luckily it turned out to be nothing more than a scare, but I can honestly say that it was one of the worst experiences of my life, and why I now more or less refuse to ever have a one night stand with someone I don't know (unless they're extremely rich or hot, in which case I could risk it).I don't plan on dating any pro-life girls until I'm ready to have kids, which in all likelihood will not be for quite a while, if ever.

[davehennessy]

Opposing political viewpoints (between two people in a relationship) really doesn't bother me. Different religious viewpoints, however, is a whole other story (and a whole different thread, so I'll leave it at that haha)

[And Hours Pass]

Ok, maybe I phrased it the wrong way. They don't have the same values to me, and that is important, and so things just wouldn't work.

I actually can see the counter argument to abortion. Gay Marriage just happens to be the one debate where I don't think the other side has a valid point, at all.

I can completely get on board with your rephrase. And while I can see the counter argument to abortion, it's nowhere near convincing to me.

This happened to me. I slept with a girl, and she thought she was pregnant for a while until she was able to take a pregnancy test which turned out to be negative. I just assumed she would get an abortion if that was the case since we were way too young to have a kid (still are, really), but instead she told me that she "couldn't live with herself" if she got one. I'm very pro-choice because growing up with a little brother and sister has basically made me hate all children with a passion, so this was like a nightmare to me.

Luckily it turned out to be nothing more than a scare, but I can honestly say that it was one of the worst experiences of my life, and why I now more or less refuse to ever have a one night stand with someone I don't know (unless they're extremely rich or hot, in which case I could risk it).I don't plan on dating any pro-life girls until I'm ready to have kids, which in all likelihood will not be for quite a while, if ever.

This is 100% the situation that frightens me. This is absolutely a terrifying prospect. Sleep with the wrong girl and have something out of your control happen (a condom break or malfunction), and you've got yourself a child with a lot of responsibilities that you are in no way ready for. I'm sorry you had to go through this. The stress from this situation would take years off my life.

[Kassie09]

I really don't care that much. My boyfriend and I have different opinions of abortion and healthcare and im sure other things too.

[Mandee, darling]

That's exactly how I've felt. I thought it was this elephant in the room and then it would come up and cause conflict. With the most recent girl I met, it hasn't come up and when it does (she called me a bleeding heart liberal), it's all in jest. I guess if this really went much further this might come to a head, but I'm just surprised it hasn't yet.



Yeah, this is absolutely something I'll never do. I think the situation you described is the exact reason I've avoided dating people with strongly opposing political views.



I don't know if I could handle dating someone who was so strongly willed in her political beliefs that she held the internships/jobs that your girlfriend does (on either side of the political spectrum). I do think that your story gives hope to those who don't think it's possible, so cheers to you! :clap:



Do you really believe that people with differing views are bad people? Doesn't that seem a bit harsh? For example, if you didn't believe in gay marriage, but a friend of yours did - would that make them a bad person?

Well hopefully it doesn't happen. It's stupid how so many relationships get ruined because of colliding beliefs.

[And Hours Pass]

i think it depends on how much you are going to talk about these things and, if it's a lot, how willing you both are to live and let live. my g/f and i talk about politics and religion all the time and we hold opposite views on a majority of issues. she always makes fun of me for voting for obama and being a liberal atheist (which is only half true). we hurl insults in good fun and we don't let our differences get in the way of the other reasons why we like each other.

that being said, i know a lot of people that are so staunch in their beliefs that i could never be with them because they don't respect anybody's opinion except those that are in accordance with theirs. this has nothing to do with where they lie on the political spectrum, but in their complete lack of open-mindedness.

success story: my AP Government teacher in hs was a really big liberal and his wife was a really big conservative. one time someone in the class asked how they got along at home and he said, "we really just try not to talk about it because i didn't marry her for her politics and vice versa."

Very well-put story about the Gov't teacher. I think it's just hard to get past the dating to that point. But I'm finding that I don't mind the cute insults being thrown back and forth if it's all in good fun. I don't think I could date the ones who really take themselves too seriously about it.

Personally, politics doesn't matter much to me (I work with economics and research, so I'm kinda "meh" about political ideologies.) I'm much happier with a girl if we have other things in common (sense of humor, music tastes, long term goals, etc.) My only political breaking point is if a girl thinks that Palin is a smart, unbiased, sensible, and politically brilliant woman. There's no second date after that, no matter how good everything else is.

I've found the breaking point for me is intolerance. So the girl could be super conservative and I could be super liberal, but I don't want to spend hours hearing how she thinks Obama is the biggest idiot on the planet or that gay marriage is killing america. If they're conservative and just don't think Obama was a good choice but don't feed that down my throat every 5 minutes, I'm ok with that.

Opposing political viewpoints (between two people in a relationship) really doesn't bother me. Different religious viewpoints, however, is a whole other story (and a whole different thread, so I'll leave it at that haha)

What's funny about your later comment is that this girl and I also have different religious beliefs...

[And Hours Pass]

Well hopefully it doesn't happen. It's stupid how so many relationships get ruined because of colliding beliefs.
Completely agreed. I'm hoping this doesn't become one of those situations!

[davehennessy]

What's funny about your later comment is that this girl and I also have different religious beliefs...

Ohhh I see

[Numero10]

kPPaKFJukDA
Ahahahahahahahaha

[Mandee, darling]

Completely agreed. I'm hoping this doesn't become one of those situations!
I wish you the best of luck with it, really!

[Deadbolt23]

My cousin is dating an ex-Nazi, who is massively racist. We just don't bring it up.

[And Hours Pass]

My cousin is dating an ex-Nazi, who is massively racist. We just don't bring it up.
How can you not bring that up! That's not an elephant in the room - that's a stampede.

[Deadbolt23]

How can you not bring that up! That's not an elephant in the room - that's a stampede.

Yeah, it's very hard not to point out how ignorant she is. But we just stay away from the subject for my cousin's sake. It can get very awkward when she makes racist comments though.

[terror_91]

It's only important if it's an issue. You will have differing views over a lot of things (although with politics the views will be based on more substance i.e. not chinese food vs indian) but if you can overcome it, like anything else, than it should be fine.

If it becomes an issue that becomes unworkable for you then you have a problem and it might not be worth continuing with.

[terror_91]

My cousin is dating an ex-Nazi, who is massively racist. We just don't bring it up.
Like a really old nazi from WWII? :-p

[And Hours Pass]

Yeah, it's very hard not to point out how ignorant she is. But we just stay away from the subject for my cousin's sake. It can get very awkward when she makes racist comments though.
Does your cousin realize she's super racist and an ex-nazi and thinks that's ok, or does he not even realize how bad it is?

[Deadbolt23]

Does your cousin realize she's super racist and an ex-nazi and thinks that's ok, or does he not even realize how bad it is?

He realises, but I think that he really likes her so he just ignores it. They've been dating for nearly a year now.

I could never date someone like that because I just wouldn't respect them.

[TheReckoner]

I would date Obama.
Juss' sayin'.