Ill
04/08/10, 02:31 PM
Yeah. So this is pretty much my first real poem. So go on easy on me, heh. I'll accept any and all constructive criticism, however.
Let me know what you think.
Maybe the day, it will come
When all that I'll really need is a hope
And a dream that I will one day attain
but
So emotionless, she will swallow whole anything,
without a thought of feelings, or anything that's real
She will go through her life behaving modest and sincere
But once you scratch the surface, she is like an eel.
Slowly pulling away, away from everything,
and trying hard to forget that she felt anything.
And, she will succeed
I won't exist in her thoughts
And on grows her greed
And she'll subconsciously fall
Into a state of depression, so relentless and true
And she will then realize that she needed you
And then the day, it will come
And I will feel so alive, forgetting, emotionally, where I used to reside
And I will promise myself that I will never become
That which tarnished my soul. Forget not what she had done
Let me know what you think.
Maybe the day, it will come
When all that I'll really need is a hope
And a dream that I will one day attain
but
So emotionless, she will swallow whole anything,
without a thought of feelings, or anything that's real
She will go through her life behaving modest and sincere
But once you scratch the surface, she is like an eel.
Slowly pulling away, away from everything,
and trying hard to forget that she felt anything.
And, she will succeed
I won't exist in her thoughts
And on grows her greed
And she'll subconsciously fall
Into a state of depression, so relentless and true
And she will then realize that she needed you
And then the day, it will come
And I will feel so alive, forgetting, emotionally, where I used to reside
And I will promise myself that I will never become
That which tarnished my soul. Forget not what she had done