"cliche" guy rules [Archive] - AbsolutePunk.net

WakeUpBlondie

04/14/10, 07:39 PM

What are your guys' opinions on them? Working or no?

I feel as I've gotten older I use them a lot more, such as the "2-3 day" rule and the not seeming too interested.

ChaplainTappman

04/14/10, 08:12 PM

i try not to look the male hookers in the eyes anymore

roughroads

04/14/10, 08:19 PM

Read This:
http://ownagepoint.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/the-bro-code.jpg

Two Headed Girl

04/14/10, 08:20 PM

Read This:
http://ownagepoint.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/the-bro-code.jpg

Jesus, is that like a real thing you can buy? Do want.

roughroads

04/14/10, 08:24 PM

Jesus, is that like a real thing you can buy? Do want.
Oh it's most certainly 100% real. So sick, so sick.

Kassie09

04/14/10, 08:24 PM

hahahaa i love barney.

but i think there need to be rules i mean we cannot just have this chaos

Two Headed Girl

04/14/10, 08:39 PM

if you're a ph@ggot double bag it!

MikeAL4W

04/14/10, 09:19 PM

Don't do your friends ex, unless she really wants tha D. ...I guess.

a nocturnal day

04/14/10, 10:59 PM

Don't do your friends ex, unless she really wants tha D. ...I guess.

Shouldn't do that ever. Or your friend's sister(s). :(

MikeAL4W

04/14/10, 11:02 PM

Shouldn't do that ever. Or your friend's sister(s). :(

If you can work both out at once, whether sisters or best friends, it's just selfish of your friend to take that away from you. Hahaha

a nocturnal day

04/14/10, 11:08 PM

If you can work both out at once, whether sisters or best friends, it's just selfish of your friend to take that away from you. Hahaha

Haha! Well I never thought of it like that. Hmm....damn!

po0ty

04/14/10, 11:09 PM

What if your friend was dating his sister?

anthonydarko

04/14/10, 11:44 PM

Read This:
http://ownagepoint.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/the-bro-code.jpg
I must have this.

cristinaa

04/15/10, 04:39 AM

Not seeming too interested is definitely a good thing. If a guy is constantly blowing up my phone or something it's a big turn off. It makes it seem like you have nothing else going on.

<*)))><

04/15/10, 06:06 AM

SLoT

04/15/10, 06:19 AM

I make my own fucking rules.

kbi the crowing

04/15/10, 06:26 AM

Why isn't this a thread on how guys actually rule? After this post we are now talking about how it is better to have a dick than a vagina. What do you use your dick for? Ill start off beating up squirrels, those fluffy tail bastards had it to good for to long.

I learned yesterday that the head of a male's penis has the ability to scoop out another male's sperm out of a woman's vagina, therefore he can impregnate her instead of the guy who came in her first.

terror_91

04/15/10, 06:30 AM

I learned yesterday that the head of a male's penis has the ability to scoop out another male's sperm out of a woman's vagina, therefore he can impregnate her instead of the guy who came in her first.
I plan to never, ever, ever use this feature of my penis.

<*)))><

04/15/10, 06:42 AM

I learned yesterday that the head of a male's penis has the ability to scoop out another male's sperm out of a woman's vagina, therefore he can impregnate her instead of the guy who came in her first.
I always believed that was my super power, back to the nuclear power plant for me I guess.

ReadyForAction

04/15/10, 07:51 AM

I'm a fan of the 3-1 rule, you can contact her 3 times for every 1 time she contacts you without seeming desperate.

Klatzke

04/15/10, 08:07 AM

I'm a fan of the 3-1 rule, you can contact her 3 times for every 1 time she contacts you without seeming desperate.
That still seems somewhat desperate. I'm usually 1 for 1.

drevans18

04/15/10, 08:11 AM

I plan to never, ever, ever use this feature of my penis.

hahahahah

ReadyForAction

04/15/10, 08:48 AM

That still seems somewhat desperate. I'm usually 1 for 1.
I don't think 1 for 1 shows enough interest though, I mean I usually space the 3 out over a few days and I don't just go "hey whats up"

bladerdude360

04/15/10, 09:24 AM

"Bros before hos."

Yellowcard2006

04/15/10, 09:26 AM

Don't stare at cleavage.

Unless she can't see you

crimsonandclovr

04/15/10, 09:29 AM

Don't do your friends ex, unless she really wants tha D. ...I guess.

Shouldn't do that ever. Or your friend's sister(s). :(

or your ex's friend. don't. EVER.

JordanBuell

04/15/10, 09:41 AM

Read This:
http://ownagepoint.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/the-bro-code.jpg

i just bought this. thank you

tottivillarossi

04/15/10, 09:44 AM

i just bought this. thank you
Post some of these "rules" up bro.

JordanBuell

04/15/10, 10:10 AM

Post some of these "rules" up bro.

i have to wait for it to ship....haha

rollerman4221

04/15/10, 10:14 AM

www.broslikethissite.com

tottivillarossi

04/15/10, 10:19 AM

www.broslikethissite.com
WIN

"Abortion – Bros typically come from an upper-middle class to upper class upbringing where they were taught conservative values, thus they are inherently pro-life. That is until the slampiece you hooked up with like 2 months ago and never talked to again messages you on facebook that you have to talk. You meet up with her at the local coffee shop and she’s obviously rattled. Then she drops the bomb, “I’m pregnant.” You’re a bro, but you are still a respectable human being and although you are visibly devasted you tell her, “What ever you choose, I’ll stand behind you.” What this really means is, “You better be getting a fucking abortion!” Honestly, the biggest bro-hater of all time is a baby. This means your bro life is over, and I wouldn’t wish that on my least favorite bro. Also, causing an abortion gives you some serious bro points."

Awesome.

wall e

04/15/10, 10:35 AM

While the Bro Code is essential, don't forget:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2593/4162537324_80e073a25e.jpg

I own both :)

a nocturnal day

04/15/10, 10:44 AM

or your ex's friend. don't. EVER.

Haha, girls do that to guys all the time. So it's fair game.

crimsonandclovr

04/15/10, 12:22 PM

Haha, girls do that to guys all the time. So it's fair game.

what, sleep with an ex's friend?? guys do it more than girls do! but either way, it's the friend's fault. the friend should know better.

a nocturnal day

04/15/10, 12:52 PM

what, sleep with an ex's friend?? guys do it more than girls do! but either way, it's the friend's fault. the friend should know better.

Meh, in my experience girls do it more often. Every girlfriend I had always tried hitting up atleast a couple of my friends after we did are thing. Ah, its probably about even. But I wholeheartedly agree with that last bit.

tottivillarossi

04/15/10, 12:59 PM

what, sleep with an ex's friend?? guys do it more than girls do! but either way, it's the friend's fault. the friend should know better.
Wow, wish I was the voice for an entire gender that I don't even belong to.

roughroads

04/15/10, 01:47 PM

Post some of these "rules" up bro.
I'll give you a couple,

"whether a bro cares about sports or not, a bro cares about sports"
"A Bro Never Wears Pink, not even in Europe."
"A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro. "
"A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging."
"A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it’s out of state or, like, crazy expensive."
"A Bro automatically enhances another Bro’s job description when introducing him to a chick"
"A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman, regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally"

"When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros. "
The pizza EquATIon
p = 3b
8
p = number of pizzas (rounded up to nearest integer)
b = number of Bros (including yourself)

"In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in Any capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump, or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no. "
"A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars."

Jennurna Gray

04/15/10, 01:52 PM

Okay, so going by these rules, if I'm waiting for a guy who asked for my number to text/call me, should I be worried that it's been 4-5 days?

whoaisame

04/15/10, 02:23 PM

Okay, so going by these rules, if I'm waiting for a guy who asked for my number to text/call me, should I be worried that it's been 4-5 days?

yes, sorry

dsmbrluv

04/15/10, 04:59 PM

All this stuff about rules is stupid. Play by your own rules by using your judgment of the situation. Why? BECAUSE ITS YOUR FUCKING LIFE!!! Why live according to other people's standards??? Maybe you would if you're too stupid to think for yourself like most people on the planet. What's even worse though are you people that are smart enough and are still doing it because you're SO DAMN SHALLOW. Get a life!

Nuns On A Bus

04/15/10, 05:06 PM

I'll start living by the rules that men are supposed to live by, such as always making a move on a girl first or opening doors for them, when women start living by the rules that women are supposed to live by, such as making me sandwiches whenever I ask.

.invisible ink.

04/15/10, 05:27 PM

www.broslikethissite.com (http://www.broslikethissite.com)

that site is amazing.

makeshiftmind

04/15/10, 06:17 PM

Bros do not share dessert

price

04/15/10, 06:25 PM

Nick Le

04/15/10, 06:28 PM

zac_montucky

04/15/10, 09:07 PM

PmCarlay

04/16/10, 04:35 PM

While the Bro Code is essential, don't forget:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2593/4162537324_80e073a25e.jpg

I own both :)
I leafed through this the other day at Hastings. I thought it was great..."No bro shall dance with his hands over his head' - or something like that...totally makes you look like a tool. Love it.

ohmygawditsgab

04/18/10, 08:22 AM

what, sleep with an ex's friend?? guys do it more than girls do! but either way, it's the friend's fault. the friend should know better.

Though I am a girl, I have to disagree with you there. In my experience, girls do it more than guys. But anyway, I also think it is acceptable to go for an ex's friend if the ex broke up with you or it's been a few months.

overdrive91

04/18/10, 12:19 PM

Jesus, is that like a real thing you can buy? Do want.

I have the audio book. Best thing ever.

takemyhand

04/18/10, 10:56 PM

Follow the damn rules

catherinexhimel

04/19/10, 04:39 AM

So, say for example... I meet a guy at a party and he somehow gets my number and texts me before I even wake up the next morning. I should call him a no-no?

Lycareth

04/19/10, 07:55 AM

Alright, In my opinion, and what seems to work for me. Though guys should take the initiative in action, when it comes to contact and communication I will mostly let the girl establish contact. I know it seems ass backwards but, nowadays it seems as if girls kind of have their own agendas/get busy/or just dont like desperate dudes.

But I will state that who talks to who first after getting a number/facebook/whatever depends on how good of a first impression you've made.
If you doubt your first performance, speak to her, and make sure to leave her with something to report back to you with.
Such as let me know how work goes/your test goes/your friends does/you do tonite.
If you wrecked that shit (did well), let her talk to you, she's probably interested and this way you can keep it as cool as your first impression.

de1337ed

04/19/10, 08:05 AM

I'm a fan of the 3-1 rule, you can contact her 3 times for every 1 time she contacts you without seeming desperate.

I don't think 1 for 1 shows enough interest though, I mean I usually space the 3 out over a few days and I don't just go "hey whats up"

i'm more a fan of 1 to 1 though 2 to 1 is okay too. i really don't go to 3 to 1 though, i usually lose interest if they aren't stimulating conversation.

So, say for example... I meet a guy at a party and he somehow gets my number and texts me before I even wake up the next morning. I should call him a no-no?

if he 'somehow' got your number, do not engage. you've got a desperate creep.

Alright, In my opinion, and what seems to work for me. Though guys should take the initiative in action, when it comes to contact and communication I will mostly let the girl establish contact. I know it seems ass backwards but, nowadays it seems as if girls kind of have their own agendas/get busy/or just dont like desperate dudes.

But I will state that who talks to who first after getting a number/facebook/whatever depends on how good of a first impression you've made.
If you doubt your first performance, speak to her, and make sure to leave her with something to report back to you with.
Such as let me know how work goes/your test goes/your friends does/you do tonite.
If you wrecked that shit (did well), let her talk to you, she's probably interested and this way you can keep it as cool as your first impression.

exactly, if someone is going 3 to 1 then they had a very weak first impression. and the reason why letting the girls establish contact works is because of this fundamental law:

http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/610/girlfriend1.png

AndrewIcex

04/19/10, 01:23 PM

Girls who consider themselves a "Bro-Chick" get on my fucking nerves.

Just a thought.

catherinexhimel

04/19/10, 04:13 PM

if he 'somehow' got your number, do not engage. you've got a desperate creep.

Good thing I blocked his number then!

de1337ed

04/19/10, 09:03 PM

Good thing I blocked his number then!

indeed, the only acceptable means of them obtaining your number is by asking you. unacceptable means of obtaining your number for such purposes include (but not limited to): obtaining it from a 3rd party person (such as their or your best friend), or creeping on facebook. I've noticed that it is increasingly becoming easier to creep someone's number through facebook. between your own personal profile, any wall post or status update mentioning your number, or even 'hey i broke my phone' groups by you or your friends can have it easily open to friends and friends of friends.

ballzcore86

04/19/10, 09:42 PM

I put the toilet seat back down...

Wake Up

04/19/10, 09:43 PM

i let girls in my treehouse

Hamlet

04/19/10, 11:35 PM

You can take the last beer or the last piece of pizza, but don't take both. That's just mean.

The Indigo

04/19/10, 11:51 PM

You can take the last beer or the last piece of pizza, but don't take both. That's just mean.
Every time I see you post, I hope that you're posting as Shakespeare's Hamlet. Like, in character.

Cliche guy rules: Never ever kill your bro, usurp his kingdom, and marry his wife.

catherinexhimel

04/20/10, 05:25 AM

indeed, the only acceptable means of them obtaining your number is by asking you. unacceptable means of obtaining your number for such purposes include (but not limited to): obtaining it from a 3rd party person (such as their or your best friend), or creeping on facebook. I've noticed that it is increasingly becoming easier to creep someone's number through facebook. between your own personal profile, any wall post or status update mentioning your number, or even 'hey i broke my phone' groups by you or your friends can have it easily open to friends and friends of friends.

This is exactly why only Twitter knows my phone number. Yeah, I deleted my number from Facebook when I realized I didn't want about 650 people to have it.