Youth

[checkered.stars]

Please don’t be taken by the streets, child,
where the ghosts of many footsteps hang heavy on your legs
leaving you no choice but to drag yourself through the cracks of concrete
Please don’t be drawn in by the painted eyes
which lure you in with Siren songs
that are played on the hollows of the subway tracks
Please don’t try to nurture the weeds growing in the cracks
because they die so much more beautifully
when they shrivel with a whimper rather than a gasp
Please don’t grasp us by the corners, child,
and don’t try to unfold the world, like the poets said you could
Because the world is round,
and rather,
it unfurls like an impatient bloom,
eclipsing the sun in its climax of perfection
And child, please,
don’t be left in the shadow of the falling petals

[The Indigo]

Good stuff. Watch the cliche is line 5. There's good sensory language here, but sight and sound are the two easiest ones to play with, so ask yourself if there are any other moments where you could try to employ the other three senses. That being said, there's some gorgeous imagery here, my favorite being "please don't try to nurture the weeds growing in the cracks." Give that one a line edit and see if there's a way to make it stronger or more striking, because some could argue that it's cliche (plus, you mention cracks in concrete in line 3. If that isn't an intentional continuation of an idea, I'd nix one of them). The last few lines are the strongest until the last couplet, which seems to start a new idea, but doesn't finish it. It really doesn't seem like you ended the poem so much as you just stopped writing. Again, good stuff though. Give this piece a close edit and I'd be interested to see the second draft.

[checkered.stars]

Thanks, I really appreciate these critiques! And yeah, I was going to replace the second "crack" with a word like fissure or something but it just didn't sound right. As for the last two lines, they're supposed to refer to the descending petals of the blooming world, if that makes any sense? Haha I guess that's something that's better conveyed orally, so I will definitely fix that part.

[The Indigo]

Cool. Good luck in the editing process. Out of curiosity, are you planning to pursue English/creative writing in college?

[checkered.stars]

I'm thinking of pursuing a career in journalism, but it probably won't happen. I do, however, attend a weekly class for poetry at the local community college just for fun. Do you major in English?

[The Indigo]

I'm thinking of pursuing a career in journalism, but it probably won't happen. I do, however, attend a weekly class for poetry at the local community college just for fun. Do you major in English?
Yeah, I'm an English major with a double concentration in education and creative writing (just added the extra concentration today).