View Full Version : Attractive Friends
Lycareth
04/23/10, 07:14 AM
Idk if it's just me, but for some reason whenever I have girl friends that I've known for a pretty long time, I always find them really attractive even when I know they aren't stunningly beautiful. Like on a 1-10 scale the longer I'm friends with you can bring you up almost 3 points. Is that weird?
Another part; I think this rarely happens for girls, or maybe they can at least control themselves as they often friend zone the guys she hangs out with.
corrupt_rocker
04/23/10, 07:25 AM
That's actually completely normal. We just went over that in my psychology class it's the proximity/ mere exposure effect; repeated exposure increases attraction. So the more you see someone, the more attractive they become to you, especially if they are already attractive and share similar views/beliefs.
Forever.Zero
04/23/10, 07:34 AM
I make all my friends jealous
Laural666
04/23/10, 07:43 AM
I make all my friends jealous
I know why. Haha.
Forever.Zero
04/23/10, 07:47 AM
I know why. Haha.
Oh really!? you know too much ._.
Some thing will be done * dun dun dun!
Laural666
04/23/10, 07:48 AM
Oh really!? you know too much ._.
Some thing will be done * dun dun dun!
Oh, no!
the seventeenth
04/23/10, 07:59 AM
completely normal, I go up 3 & 1/2 points though. Hidden talent, I guess.
xapplexpiex
04/23/10, 08:00 AM
I know exactly what you mean. I'm pretty much in love with my best friend right now, but she doesn't feel the same.
That's actually completely normal. We just went over that in my psychology class it's the proximity/ mere exposure effect; repeated exposure increases attraction. So the more you see someone, the more attractive they become to you, especially if they are already attractive and share similar views/beliefs.
I knew I wasn't crazy. I only took one psych class and this wasn't covered, but I had been questioning this for a while. I think anyone can be friends with anyone given time, and anyone can essentially find qualities they look for in a mate in anyone over given periods of time.
I know exactly what you mean. I'm pretty much in love with my best friend right now, but she doesn't feel the same.
aww. That's no good. Have you talked to her about it.
xapplexpiex
04/23/10, 08:18 AM
aww. That's no good. Have you talked to her about it.
No. I know she doesn't feel the same and I'd rather keep her as a friend than have her know the truth and awkwardly drift apart.
Forever.Zero
04/23/10, 08:20 AM
aww. That's no good. Have you talked to her about it.
He shouldn't talk about it. He should just show her. Apparently there's this deal-e-o called the 'naked man'.
No. I know she doesn't feel the same and I'd rather keep her as a friend than have her know the truth and awkwardly drift apart.
True. It stinks how just simply asking how the other person feels can ruin a relationship. I've been able to keep strong friendships even though this has been questioned.
himynameiszack
04/23/10, 08:34 AM
For me, it seems like the exact opposite happens.
He shouldn't talk about it. He should just show her. Apparently there's this deal-e-o called the 'naked man'.
hahaha. is this approach guaranteed?
JordanBuell
04/23/10, 08:46 AM
No. I know she doesn't feel the same and I'd rather keep her as a friend than have her know the truth and awkwardly drift apart.
ehh i dont man. I just had to deal with this like 2 weeks ago where i was in the same situation as you. told her how i felt and she said she wasnt interested in me. It didnt get awkward and now i feel like i am actually move on now that it is out in the open.
its up to you though, everyone reacts differently to stuff like that.
Scrandon
04/23/10, 08:54 AM
For me, it seems like the exact opposite happens.
You're a chick
de1337ed
04/23/10, 08:57 AM
That's actually completely normal. We just went over that in my psychology class it's the proximity/ mere exposure effect; repeated exposure increases attraction. So the more you see someone, the more attractive they become to you, especially if they are already attractive and share similar views/beliefs.
I've never heard anything like this before but it sounds reasonable; i like it.
No. I know she doesn't feel the same and I'd rather keep her as a friend than have her know the truth and awkwardly drift apart.
Meh. You really should just be blunt with her. If you two have a really good friendship, and you're not creeping on her, then it should be fine. If you were to awkwardly drift apart it would be because your friendship wasn't the most solid or because you were creeping on her and making her feel weird. I've dealt with this before though and it's usually turned out fine. Worst case scenario is you're not friends anymore. The way i look at it, if the two of you were to let something like the awkwardness push you apart, were you ever good friends to begin with? Sorry, but probably not.
I'd agree with the OP though, my friends generally see a 2-3+ (if you were to put it on a scale but personally i stay away from numbers). One of my best friends I've known for a year and a half now. I never found her attractive to begin with, but over the past year it's gotten to the point where she's one of the girl's I'm most attracted to. Luckily, this feeling is mutual and we're makeout buddies.
aimee<3
04/23/10, 09:12 AM
Idk if it's just me, but for some reason whenever I have girl friends that I've known for a pretty long time, I always find them really attractive even when I know they aren't stunningly beautiful. Like on a 1-10 scale the longer I'm friends with you can bring you up almost 3 points. Is that weird?
Another part; I think this rarely happens for girls, or maybe they can at least control themselves as they often friend zone the guys she hangs out with.
ok the reason you like your girl friends after a while is because you start to see them for who they really are not just from their looks
and this ALWAYS happens to girls, havent you noticed pretty girls with ugly guys? thats because they were prolly friends with the ugly guys and then after awhile they guy gets more cute because of that persons personality..... so no its not weird at all
de1337ed
04/23/10, 09:21 AM
ok the reason you like your girl friends after a while is because you start to see them for who they really are not just from their looks
and this ALWAYS happens to girls, havent you noticed pretty girls with ugly guys? thats because they were prolly friends with the ugly guys and then after awhile they guy gets more cute because of that persons personality..... so no its not weird at all
I know this wasn't directed towards me but I see everyone for who they are, not their looks. So your generalization is false. It does not always happen to girls.
aimee<3
04/23/10, 09:28 AM
I know this wasn't directed towards me but I see everyone for who they are, not their looks. So your generalization is false. It does not always happen to girls.
he said that he doesnt think that it happens to girls (liking one of their guy friends after a while) i was just saying that it happens a lot and it just doesnt happen to guys.....
and i dont think every one judges by looks, cause im the type of person who likes a person for who thy are not from how they look, thats totally not what i meant at all
I'm too old for PL any more
de1337ed
04/23/10, 09:38 AM
he said that he doesnt think that it happens to girls (liking one of their guy friends after a while) i was just saying that it happens a lot and it just doesnt happen to guys.....
and i dont think every one judges by looks, cause im the type of person who likes a person for who thy are not from how they look, thats totally not what i meant at all
WOoooooops. i had 4 hours of sleep. I read it and was connecting what you said with the wrong part. Apologies.
LucasJ218
04/23/10, 09:40 AM
True. It stinks how just simply asking how the other person feels can ruin a relationship. I've been able to keep strong friendships even though this has been questioned.
Same here. It's not fucking easy though. By any stretch.
aimee<3
04/23/10, 09:43 AM
WOoooooops. i had 4 hours of sleep. I read it and was connecting what you said with the wrong part. Apologies.
no problem lol ive been that way for the past couple days (not so much sleep) so i understand
Stavie Steelo
04/23/10, 09:48 AM
It's happened to me just because we get along so well and like doing the same stuff. We flirt with eachother but nothing serious; she has a boyfriend now.
aradiantsunrise
04/23/10, 10:28 AM
Definitely not weird.
CobraLucha
04/23/10, 10:49 AM
No. I know she doesn't feel the same and I'd rather keep her as a friend than have her know the truth and awkwardly drift apart.
I can relate to this.
edit: WOAH we live in TWO of the same places basically...
Forever.Zero
04/23/10, 10:50 AM
hahaha. is this approach guaranteed?
Almost possibly a guarantee. Depending on the girl. Baby oil may give a boost of assurance.
Same here. It's not fucking easy though. By any stretch.
Yeah. It's getting out of your comfort zone to risk the rejection and consequences that come with it.
Almost possibly a guarantee. Depending on the girl. Baby oil may give a boost of assurance.
hahahaha. XD nice. i don't think that would work on me. any fall backs?
Forever.Zero
04/23/10, 11:05 AM
hahahaha. XD nice. i don't think that would work on me. any fall backs?
If she says no call out April fools :shrug:
Yellowcard2006
04/23/10, 11:06 AM
Not that odd OP.
If she says no call out April fools :shrug:
lol that works.
fuck fuck fuck. if you have any attractive friend, that's my advice.
Almost possibly a guarantee. Depending on the girl. Baby oil may give a boost of assurance.
lol'd
xapplexpiex
04/23/10, 12:13 PM
I can relate to this.
edit: WOAH we live in TWO of the same places basically...
It says you live in Ohio.
herestoyoufla
04/23/10, 12:15 PM
Idk if it's just me, but for some reason whenever I have girl friends that I've known for a pretty long time, I always find them really attractive even when I know they aren't stunningly beautiful. Like on a 1-10 scale the longer I'm friends with you can bring you up almost 3 points. Is that weird?
Another part; I think this rarely happens for girls, or maybe they can at least control themselves as they often friend zone the guys she hangs out with.
Yep, just cause you hang out all the time and probably have similar interests and personalities...
CobraLucha
04/23/10, 12:29 PM
It says you live in Ohio.
God am I stupid. Wrong person...
xapplexpiex
04/23/10, 12:29 PM
God am I stupid. Wrong person...
Hahah np.
Lycareth
04/23/10, 12:44 PM
In some ways I agree with the personality thing...but in the cases I've experienced, I hardly ever actually enjoy they're personality. They're either too shy, too outspoken, think to illogically, too extreme in some nature and I'm a pretty solid guy in the sense that I don't have extremes in my personality. Like honestly, it's usually always a purely physical attraction.
This even happens with friends I haven't seen in a long time, or don't even hangout with that regularly. Maybe I just want it all lol.
crimsonandclovr
04/23/10, 03:22 PM
Idk if it's just me, but for some reason whenever I have girl friends that I've known for a pretty long time, I always find them really attractive even when I know they aren't stunningly beautiful. Like on a 1-10 scale the longer I'm friends with you can bring you up almost 3 points. Is that weird?
Another part; I think this rarely happens for girls, or maybe they can at least control themselves as they often friend zone the guys she hangs out with.
yes, it's very weird. :) because i'm always the opposite. i mean, i'm always the one who falls for my closest friends. and they're the ones who put me in the friend zone.
framebyframe
04/23/10, 03:37 PM
I agree with this and don't at the same time. I do find myself more attracted to friends after knowing them for a while, but I also notice flaws that I could never deal with in a relationship and that kind of makes me realize why we're friends and not in a relationship.
I knew I wasn't crazy. I only took one psych class and this wasn't covered, but I had been questioning this for a while. I think anyone can be friends with anyone given time, and anyone can essentially find qualities they look for in a mate in anyone over given periods of time.
So so true.
Jennurna Gray
04/23/10, 03:39 PM
Gotcha, and hanging out with them over time not only makes them more attractive, but it makes me more attracted to them.
Jennurna Gray
04/23/10, 03:41 PM
fuck fuck fuck. if you have any attractive friend, that's my advice.
Completely off of the top of this thread, but you are really funny.
drevans18
04/23/10, 03:42 PM
He shouldn't talk about it. He should just show her. Apparently there's this deal-e-o called the 'naked man'.
i trust everything that Swarley has to say.
Loyaltabk
04/23/10, 05:47 PM
. . .unrequited love.
yeah i think as you get to know someone and you like who they are as a person they become more attractive. and i think the opposite is true, as you get to know someone who turns out to be a shitty person they become less attractive
Nick Le
04/23/10, 09:21 PM
This happens to me.
xshitsweakx
04/23/10, 09:42 PM
yeah i think as you get to know someone and you like who they are as a person they become more attractive. and i think the opposite is true, as you get to know someone who turns out to be a shitty person they become less attractive
From my female perspective, this is exactly how it is for me. As you get to know a persons real personality more, it either bumps their appearance up or down based on if their personality is awesome or sucks.
But actually for me, sometimes I may like a guy when I first start hanging out with him, but then I come to realize that I really only like him as a friend, like a brother.
harry_grundel
04/24/10, 03:38 AM
Oh, I definitely know the feeling of knowing someone for sooo long as a friend, and after a while you see them in a completely different light and it messes with ur brain for a minute. Unfortunately that scenario happens to me with most of my good buddies gf's.
And no, I may be horny all the time, but I wouldnt act on those thoughts even if megan fox jumped in the room and said, " I'll have sex with you every other night for the next 3 years if you can find a way to seduce your friends woman."
It's tempting, but i just got two words: Loyalty, Karma. nuff said
cristinaa
04/24/10, 09:19 AM
No, this definitely happens to me too.
If a friend is remotely attractive, as you get to know them and you get along with them well enough to be friends, it's not unlikely that you'll start to develop some sort of an attraction.
Sventhegreat
04/24/10, 11:19 AM
No, this definitely happens to me too.
If a friend is remotely attractive, as you get to know them and you get along with them well enough to be friends, it's not unlikely that you'll start to develop some sort of an attraction.
Thank god you posted that. I don't know what anyone would have done without it.
de1337ed
04/24/10, 11:56 AM
Oh, I definitely know the feeling of knowing someone for sooo long as a friend, and after a while you see them in a completely different light and it messes with ur brain for a minute. Unfortunately that scenario happens to me with most of my good buddies gf's.
And no, I may be horny all the time, but I wouldnt act on those thoughts even if megan fox jumped in the room and said, " I'll have sex with you every other night for the next 3 years if you can find a way to seduce your friends woman."
It's tempting, but i just got two words: Loyalty, Karma. nuff said
I'm with you, even though I personally don't find Megan Fox attractive at all.
cristinaa
04/24/10, 12:33 PM
Thank god you posted that. I don't know what anyone would have done without it.
Thank god you posted that. I don't know what anyone would have done without it.
The_Blackout94
04/24/10, 03:40 PM
I know exactly what you mean. I'm pretty much in love with my best friend right now, but she doesn't feel the same.
Exactly the same as I feel. Can't tell her though cause she is about the only friend I have at the moment, and if I lose her, i'll have noone.
xapplexpiex
04/24/10, 03:48 PM
Exactly the same as I feel. Can't tell her though cause she is about the only friend I have at the moment, and if I lose her, i'll have noone.
WOW
That is exactly my situation.
Oh, I definitely know the feeling of knowing someone for sooo long as a friend, and after a while you see them in a completely different light and it messes with ur brain for a minute. Unfortunately that scenario happens to me with most of my good buddies gf's.
And no, I may be horny all the time, but I wouldnt act on those thoughts even if megan fox jumped in the room and said, " I'll have sex with you every other night for the next 3 years if you can find a way to seduce your friends woman."
It's tempting, but i just got two words: Loyalty, Karma. nuff said
good boy!
but seriously...if megan fox did that to me i wouldn't give it up. haha as if... :|
From my female perspective, this is exactly how it is for me. As you get to know a persons real personality more, it either bumps their appearance up or down based on if their personality is awesome or sucks.
But actually for me, sometimes I may like a guy when I first start hanging out with him, but then I come to realize that I really only like him as a friend, like a brother.
yeah, sometimes personalities click in a romantic way and sometimes you find that you're better off as just friends.
Chancetobe
04/24/10, 10:03 PM
I don't think they get more attractive progressively the longer I know them. More like, I come to like their personality so much the more I get to know them, or just how I feel with them, or something, that you kind of start to see them as attractive, because you like them so much.
The_Blackout94
04/25/10, 12:26 PM
WOW
That is exactly my situation.
I mean normally I don't think i'd like her, but I think because I have been spending so much time with her as she is my best mate, I have seen her in a 'new light'. It's difficult.
luckyforsome
04/25/10, 04:12 PM
I've experienced this a lot lately because my good friend really likes me and his friend really likes me and their other friend used to like me. I feel like it happened almost out of nowhere too. lol and the more I hang out with them the more I think they're better looking too
xsinkshipsx
04/25/10, 08:37 PM
I know exactly what you mean. I'm pretty much in love with my best friend right now, but she doesn't feel the same.
been there bro...it's not a fun situation...I'm not best friends with a girl named jackie south because she got another bf and I couldn't take it
Completely off of the top of this thread, but you are really funny.
Sarcasm..? or are you laughing at my personal philosophy?
Wake Up
04/26/10, 12:07 AM
Fucking friends is the best kind of fucking there is.
EastCoastKid
04/26/10, 01:38 PM
I know exactly what you mean. I'm pretty much in love with my best friend right now, but she doesn't feel the same.
Happening to me also. It's killing me though, because she is starting to make hints. So I'm torn if I should try for something in the summer, or just wait and stay friends, maybe resulting in something after college... oh life.
Jennurna Gray
04/26/10, 05:04 PM
Sarcasm..? or are you laughing at my personal philosophy?
No, dear, I'm laughing at your drunken phone calls.
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