It Never Snows In Florida

[OveriseFan]

The street is on fire
It feels like sand on the beach
Beneath my feet...

And why does everyone I love
Feel like a ghost right now?
Photo albums only serve as the trigger
When you're two thousand miles away.

If tonight is the last night I'll see you
Then let me always haunt your dreams
I promise I will never sleep again
Between bedrooms and magazines

The clouds are so cold
Making me shake on this plane
It's just the same... Was this in vain?

And is the same song playing
Inside her head right now?
Antique albums only serve as the soundtrack
To these new situations

If tonight is the last night I'll see you
Then let me always haunt your dreams
I promise I will never sleep again
Between bedrooms and magazines

It's that small town vibe in a big city feeling,
We're just kids in love... we're just kids in love.
It's that small town vibe in a big city feeling,
We're just kids in love... we're just kids in...

If tonight is the last night I'll see you
Then let me always haunt your dreams
I promise I will never sleep again
Between bedrooms and magazines

I am breaking through the atmosphere.

[wyverna]

Just one tiiiny little thing; photo albums is not one word :) But apart from that, I love this. It has such a good atmosphere, I can't explain what I mean but I really like it. Definitely well done.

[crit]

i really like this.

[OveriseFan]

Well thank you to both of you. Anything you think could use correcting?

And what did you get out of it? If anything.

[OveriseFan]

What word do you guys like more?

[EmoPunkerGirl]

I like it .It's sad. Is it supposed to be??

[OveriseFan]

I like it .It's sad. Is it supposed to be??

It's bittersweet.

Love at a distance.

[EmoPunkerGirl]

It is definetly really awesome.....

[ArTkY_]

The street is on fire
It feels like sand on the beach
Beneath my feet...


I don't like that at all. But I like you a lot. <3

Overall, this is a VERY weak piece with a couple of excellent lines.

It's that small town vibe in a big city feeling,
We're just kids in love... we're just kids in love.
It's that small town vibe in a big city feeling,
We're just kids in love... we're just kids in...

If tonight is the last night I'll see you
Then let me always haunt your dreams
I promise I will never sleep again
Between bedrooms and magazines

That is outstanding. Some of the best you've ever written.

[OveriseFan]

I agree with you 100%, and I'm off to re-write this.

Haha, sorry cuties.

[ky19]

I love this! And it's perfect because the boy I liked just moved to Florida, haha.

[black rose]

The street is on fire
It feels like sand on the beach
Beneath my feet..

i'm not a fan of this part either.
it just seems, um, awkward.
just not put together correctly.
try moving the words around.

And why does everyone I love
Feel like a ghost right now?
Photo albums only serve as the trigger
When you're two thousand miles away.

ding ding we have a winner.
oh man i love this part.
esp. the second half.

The clouds are so cold
Making me shake on this plane
It's just the same... Was this in vain?

i think i'm going to give you some of your own advice.
this sounds like you sacrificed meaning for rhyming.
it's very very rhymy .


[I]And is the same song playing
Inside her head right now?
Antique albums only serve as the soundtrack
To these new situations

LOVE this part.
i really do love your writing style.

I am breaking through the atmosphere

best way to end the song.

[myaimistruex3]

Everything I've seen from you I've liked. This is no exception.

I read this line really fast and thought you were referencing a certain movie:

Making me shake on this plane

[black rose]

Everything I've seen from you I've liked. This is no exception.

I read this line really fast and thought you were referencing a certain movie:

Making me shake on this plane haha so did i.

[OveriseFan]

Shake on this plane was totally inspired by those mothafuckin' snakes. (And Samuel L. Jackson.)

[de la sympathie]

I liked this. I didn't like the first three lines, but the rest was good. You had some really solid stuff in there.

My favorite part -

It's that small town vibe in a big city feeling,
We're just kids in love... we're just kids in love.

= AMAZING.