PDA

View Full Version : My Personal Epic


slamdown
04/25/10, 07:44 AM
Needs a better title for sure, but it's probably the most inspired piece I've ever wrote. Or at the least the one where I made the most use of hmm, extravagant language. I hope this doesn't give a false impression of me, as it's different to a lot of my other stuff and indeed most of the other stuff that I'll ever post on here. But ah well, here we go...

My brethren soldiers take your battle stations
These are dark days marked by bleak situations
We march to war like the ancient civilizations
To drive back this festering manifestation

Of evil, corrupting the mind
Rendering my perception blind
Severing all the friendship ties that bind
It’s as if life has aligned

Against me, to no gentle degree
All the beauty in my world has turned ugly
Eternal winters vines strangled the life from my tree
I’m caught between bad and worse like the bourgeoisie

Everyone’s telling me this bleakness is capricious
“Lap life up, don’t you know it’s delicious?”
Their all eager, so damn fuckin’ ambitious
They can’t see the disease inside me because it’s pernicious

Seems to me like life is unjustly aggrandized
Because the version I’m living is twisted and bastardized
Feeling numb, empty, fuckin’ dehumanized
It’s the decisions we make by which we’re characterized
Lest we be forgotten, we aim to become immortalized

"Sometimes your closest friend is your greatest enemy” – Discuss
What do you do when you’ve got friends like Iago and Judas?
Controlled not by loyalty, but raging desire and lust
Do you turn your head in abhorrent disgust?
Or make the best of a situation that’s fuckin’ unjust?

We’re all just cast offs from the original sin
I say to you this – end a life the moment it does begin
Spare the innocent a lifetime of suffering within
As it is rare few who can take it on the chin

If we all took this viewpoint, the fall of humanity
Would be upon us, O’ cry thee insanity!
We’re all just prisoners of subjugational vanity
Sympathize lord, show us some mercy – some pity!

That is why we stand together in rigid formation
Let it be known in future documentation
I gathered my friends, and with collaboration
We go to war to see depression’s annihilation

The end is nigh, reign us victorious?
Every human soul shines glorious
Though the years be tough and laborious
Those who make it through life are truly meritorious

The Indigo
04/25/10, 08:49 AM
Remind me to give this a more indepth look later tonight. I read over it and I think you've got a lot of strong points, a few things that need work, and pretty solid poem overall.

BlackHeartBook
04/25/10, 09:02 AM
Wow, you weren't kidding; I liked it. That was pretty epic.

slamdown
04/25/10, 12:34 PM
Remind me to give this a more indepth look later tonight. I read over it and I think you've got a lot of strong points, a few things that need work, and pretty solid poem overall.

I appreciate that you'll do that and really look forward to it, I've read a few of your comments on other people's work and really respect your opinion from what I've seen.

Wow, you weren't kidding; I liked it. That was pretty epic.

Thanks! :D Your praise genuinely means a lot to me.