... And A Semester Abroad

[GoldMineGutted]

So, I just got back from a semester in Rome, and I'm feeling like the reverse culture shock is going to be an even bigger challenge than... regular culture shock. I haven't been home for very long and it feels like I never really left. It's not a good feeling.
I left with a relationship that ended a month into my trip. I came home to a house that my 18 year old brother and sister are basically running instead of my parents. My sister's 15 month old baby runs my mother's life. I lost contact with a lot of my friends.
I don't know if this is going to be like starting life over or picking up where I left off.
If anybody's been in this situation, I'd love to hear how you dealt with it. Even if the situation is different, I'd like to hear about the whole coming back process.
I feel so lost.

[Yellowcard2006]

" I haven't been home for very long and it feels like I never really left. It's not a good feeling."

what do you mean there? If it feels like you never left, isn't that good?

As for your other issues. Anytime I come home from college it only takes me about a day to settle back in. Give it a week and see if you feel better. Do things you did before you left, call up your friends, talk to your family.

[Scrandon]

So, I just got back from a semester in Rome, and I'm feeling like the reverse culture shock is going to be an even bigger challenge than... regular culture shock. I haven't been home for very long and it feels like I never really left. It's not a good feeling.
I left with a relationship that ended a month into my trip. I came home to a house that my 18 year old brother and sister are basically running instead of my parents. My sister's 15 month old baby runs my mother's life. I lost contact with a lot of my friends.
I don't know if this is going to be like starting life over or picking up where I left off.
If anybody's been in this situation, I'd love to hear how you dealt with it. Even if the situation is different, I'd like to hear about the whole coming back process.
I feel so lost.

You say this... and then go on to describe how things have changed, what is going on?

[drevans18]

every time i go home from school, its the weirdest feeling. you lead two lives, one at school and one away. give it some time to settle. i'm sure rome was an amazing experience, but it was only a semester. you know that you have to readjust to everything back here and back at home. it may take longer than you'd like, but it'll come back. you will gain contact again with your friends at school once you actually are there again. but it may not seem normal at first. again, time to settle is all you need.

[sleepyseanzzz]

i cant wait til my best friend gets back from his semester in ireland, i stole some boxers and gym shorts from his house before he left so i still have a part of him with me here

[WordsAndFears]

I returned home from a semester abroad in India in December, and still find myself getting used to being in the states again, even four months after returning home. The most obvious change was what side of the road everyone drives on, though that got better once I got my license. However, I still find I am uncomfortable about wearing tank tops and "booty" shorts (if you will), because in India its considered highly inappropriate for females to show their shoulders, and to show their legs above the knee. I also still find myself worrying about eating food outside, because being mugged by monkeys for your food was not uncommon. Overall I noticed that when I returned, though my "U.S" life had not moved on, all my friends' lives had. Things happened while I was away that I had not been present for, and I still find myself adjusting to that. My year and a half relationship with my boyfriend (which lasted while I was in India) began to go downhill- slowly at first, then plummeting out of control, partly because of actions of his, and partly because he said I changed. I believe it was a good thing, he didn't think so.

Like I said, I still find myself adjusting to certain aspects of the United States, and find myself constantly missing the friends and "family" I made over in India, but it gets easier with time. My advice is, if you aren't already, keep in contact with the friends you made in Rome, and even try to make plans to go back and visit if you can. I'm already making plans to go back to India at the end of my senior year to watch all my friends there graduate, and I can't wait for it. And write, a lot. Write about how the reverse culture shock is affecting you, what you're thinking, feeling, seeing, noticing. It helps more than you can imagine :] Good luck, and feel free to message me if you want to talk :D

[klawansie7]

every time i go home from school, its the weirdest feeling. you lead two lives, one at school and one away. give it some time to settle. i'm sure rome was an amazing experience, but it was only a semester. you know that you have to readjust to everything back here and back at home. it may take longer than you'd like, but it'll come back. you will gain contact again with your friends at school once you actually are there again. but it may not seem normal at first. again, time to settle is all you need.
yea i was thinking this same thing. obviously going from one state (at least in my case) to another isn't really far in terms of distance, but i definitely feel like i lead two lives. i eat completely different foods at home than i do at school, my friends are not alike at all, i never go to shows at school but i go to tons at home, etc.

[Stavie Steelo]

I really want to do study aboard but I don't think I planned for it well enough. I would love to go to austrilla but doubt it will happen.

[Carolina.Alex]

Listen to Everything In Transit

[codhoppers]

This is just something you are going to have to learn to deal with. No matter how long you spend away, your home town will always hold special connections and have a big place in your heart. But if you are worried about it now, think about in 20 years and you have to deal with all the girls you loved, and seeing their families and husbands. Thats scary shit. But if you worry about it now you'll never appreciate what you have now.

Rome was probably amazing and life changing, but moving back is also life changing and you have to roll with the punches. Take it a day at a time, and know that rome is only a plane ticket away.

[Ripmedj]

i second carolina.alex's advice

[presdaddy]

I left with a relationship that ended a month into my trip.

What happened with the relationship? I'm heading abroad in two months and I'll (most likely) still be in a relationship.

[Roboman]

Man, I'm glad I haven't ever really suffered from culture or reverse culture shock. I spent 11 months in Germany from 2008 to 2009, but never really missed my family or friends or anything that much. Shit, I probably missed my computer the most since I only had a shitty laptop with me that could hardly run any games. However, I'm not the best person to compare with as I don't really keep up with friends (most of them don't keep up with me, either) and I adapt to new living situations pretty easily and without much stress.

Regardless, the whole "I'm back now and it feels like I never left thing" is pretty normal, at least in my experience. I know it feels strange, but that's just how it is.

[de1337ed]

+2 to carolina.alex.
i can't really speak too much for myself

[Yellowcard2006]

Man, I'm glad I haven't ever really suffered from culture or reverse culture shock. I spent 11 months in Germany from 2008 to 2009, but never really missed my family or friends or anything that much. Shit, I probably missed my computer the most since I only had a shitty laptop with me that could hardly run any games. However, I'm not the best person to compare with as I don't really keep up with friends (most of them don't keep up with me, either) and I adapt to new living situations pretty easily and without much stress.

Regardless, the whole "I'm back now and it feels like I never left thing" is pretty normal, at least in my experience. I know it feels strange, but that's just how it is.
So you never felt homesick for things you know don't think of you? /thewonderyears

[SophomoricSlump]

Listen to Everything In Transit

This.

[Mitch]

I spent nine months in Italy and suffered no reverse culture shock. I didn't experience much regular culture shock, either, except for when I was having a bad day.

[And Hours Pass]

It seems as though only two people in this thread so far have been in the same situation (or commented on it directly having been abroad), so I'll talk to it.

Coming back from 6 months in Australia was definitely a culture shock. It's not just about the actual culture being different, but it's about how you adjusted to that culture and changed the way you carried on and lived your life. The difficulty I was finding is that I had to go back to my old mentality. What would end up saving me from this situation was the realization that I didn't have to do that. After the first week or so I had caught up on any major events that had occurred while I was gone, and then began to apply my mindset from abroad to being home. It worked out really well.

My suggestion is to focus on the things you did, actions you took, and mindsets you had while abroad that really made you feel fulfilled, and try to apply those to your home life. You may find yourself refreshed on the home front and that should help you get back into the swing of things.

[spiffa0]

What happened with the relationship? I'm heading abroad in two months and I'll (most likely) still be in a relationship.

Good luck. Not to be a pessimist, but everyone that I know that went abroad while in a relationship didn't come back still in that relationship. It will take a lot of work.

[cristinaa]

I had a similar situation. While I was in Italy for the summer my relationship basically fell apart. When I came back everything felt a little weird and I had almost no feelings for him anymore.

[James Johnson]

It seems as though only two people in this thread so far have been in the same situation (or commented on it directly having been abroad), so I'll talk to it.

Coming back from 6 months in Australia was definitely a culture shock. It's not just about the actual culture being different, but it's about how you adjusted to that culture and changed the way you carried on and lived your life. The difficulty I was finding is that I had to go back to my old mentality. What would end up saving me from this situation was the realization that I didn't have to do that. After the first week or so I had caught up on any major events that had occurred while I was gone, and then began to apply my mindset from abroad to being home. It worked out really well.

My suggestion is to focus on the things you did, actions you took, and mindsets you had while abroad that really made you feel fulfilled, and try to apply those to your home life. You may find yourself refreshed on the home front and that should help you get back into the swing of things.


Great post.

Hope my country treated you well!

[Auals]

To you, Hours Pass, I say great name (if it's a JM quote) and secondly;

It seems as though only two people in this thread so far have been in the same situation (or commented on it directly having been abroad), so I'll talk to it.

Coming back from 6 months in Australia was definitely a culture shock. It's not just about the actual culture being different, but it's about how you adjusted to that culture and changed the way you carried on and lived your life. The difficulty I was finding is that I had to go back to my old mentality. What would end up saving me from this situation was the realization that I didn't have to do that. After the first week or so I had caught up on any major events that had occurred while I was gone, and then began to apply my mindset from abroad to being home. It worked out really well.

My suggestion is to focus on the things you did, actions you took, and mindsets you had while abroad that really made you feel fulfilled, and try to apply those to your home life. You may find yourself refreshed on the home front and that should help you get back into the swing of things.

This,

Great post.

Hope my country treated you well!

EDIT:
Good luck. Not to be a pessimist, but everyone that I know that went abroad while in a relationship didn't come back still in that relationship. It will take a lot of work.

Same, it's always something that stuffed it up. And Moon was a crazy movie... goddamn depressing. Don't get me wrong, I EXPECTED it to be depressing but it wasn't until it ended that I realised just how fucking terribly isolated the entire thing made me feel.

[And Hours Pass]

Great post.

Hope my country treated you well!

Thank you kind sir. I have great affection for AU and look forward to my next visit!

To you, Hours Pass, I say great name (if it's a JM quote) and secondly;



This

It is a JM quote! Glad you like it!

[zachff]

You have to keep in mind when you go home that even if you went right back to Rome (I think that's where you said you were) as soon as you landed in the states, things wouldn't be the same. The people you were there with would be gone, you wouldn't be in a classroom/college dynamic, and as much as you'll always have this amazing picture in your mind of what Rome was like you'll remember that "home" still has some things to offer you as well.

And if it doesn't, fucking move back to Rome after you graduate and work on freeing Amanda Knox.

[GoldMineGutted]

It seems as though only two people in this thread so far have been in the same situation (or commented on it directly having been abroad), so I'll talk to it.

Coming back from 6 months in Australia was definitely a culture shock. It's not just about the actual culture being different, but it's about how you adjusted to that culture and changed the way you carried on and lived your life. The difficulty I was finding is that I had to go back to my old mentality. What would end up saving me from this situation was the realization that I didn't have to do that. After the first week or so I had caught up on any major events that had occurred while I was gone, and then began to apply my mindset from abroad to being home. It worked out really well.

My suggestion is to focus on the things you did, actions you took, and mindsets you had while abroad that really made you feel fulfilled, and try to apply those to your home life. You may find yourself refreshed on the home front and that should help you get back into the swing of things.


You've been the most insightful. Thank you.

[And Hours Pass]

You've been the most insightful. Thank you.
No worries! If you continue to have difficulties, feel free to shoot me a note and I'll answer whatever questions I can. Best of luck with the transition!