Body Image Issues/Eating Disorders

[anthonydarko]

For as long as I can remember, I've had serious issues with my body image. I grew up most of my life overweight, which destroyed much of my self esteem and confidence. A few years ago, I made the decision to lose weight and in turn lost over 50 pounds. However with the weight loss, my own issues with body amplified tenfold and led me to a obsession with my weight and appearance, which led me to develop a case of bulimia. It's been something I've tried to fight ever since, I've been to rehab for it and I've had nothing but support from my friends but I've never been able to stop obsessing over how I look. It has been one of my most destructive demons in my life and I've gone through countless highs and lows with it. Hopefully one day I'll be able to kick it, as hard as it will be.

So with my story, I ask if anyone else here has dealt with an eating disorder, know someone who has or has body image issues of their own.

[more heart]

I was really sick two days ago and the first thing that came to mind is being sick must just be like christmas for someone who's bulimic.
Probably not the most appropriate time for a joke.

[atticus18244fss]

Who cares what others think?

[Jasper112]

sucks to hear that dude...

My ex-girlfriend had serious bulimia and nothing I would say could stop her. No matter how many times I told her how beautiful she was, it never mattered. We were together for 4 years and let me tell u, it seriously wore me out. She was extremely beautiful, I really didnt get it.

[vivatoto56]

Probably not the most appropriate time for a joke.

I deleted it because I felt mean.

[3wotkris]

I went through a pretty interesting weight loss regime a few year back where I decided that not eating and drinking only water would help me lose weight. After six weeks or so of eating one meal a day of only food that turns to liquid through digestion (poultry, green vegetables etc.), it becomes pretty much impossible to eat anything that can be considered a normal amount. I went to a doctor who said I showed early signs of bulimia/anorexia or something like that, and so he prescribed me some pills and I now balloon between 150-190 lbs quite regularly, it's not the greatest thing.

Anyway, what you have is obviously way worse, and I feel for you. I'm pretty self conscious of my appearance but I like to think I know where to draw the line (somewhere past hair straighteners and moisturiser, somewhere before makeup and other crazy shit). I think its just a case of knowing where to draw the line, as difficult as that evidently is.

[deFobbed14yrs]

growing up and into an Indian body with curves while surrounded by girls who are size 00 has always been a thing for me. like my conscious mind doesn't give a shit and thinks i look fine, but my subconscious makes me not eat certain things or get sick after i do. i truly believe minds can be extremely powerful and i think is the reason why i don't eat the things i used to enjoy b/c my body makes me feel sick afterwards.

all the best for you dude, hope you can overcome your mentality.

[kana900]

When I was about 14 I moved to a different state and went into this pretty bad depression. And I had always been one of those kids who had to have everything perfect. Those things combined turned into a pretty horrific eating disorder. I dropped down to 88 pounds and was absolutely terrified of food. I would get a huge rush whenever the scale would go down, and the frequent blackouts and my size 00 pants hanging off didn't even faze me.

Naturally, my family was really worried and so was my doctor. So I went to a rehab facility for about a month. Those first few days were excruciating. And when I came out I was 110 pounds and still felt like it was too much. So I started seeing a therapist, which helped a lot. I still struggle with those thoughts today, even though it's not nearly as bad. But I've realized that it's something I'll just always have to deal with.

[The Summer Ends]

One time I forgot to do an essay so I made myself throw up all over my carpet in my room to be able to stay home. That was one of the worst experiences of my life. People who can do that multiple times a day completely shock me.

[mar_]

Anthony, I wish you luck.

I've got a story, but I don't really want to share it. Just the sentiment.

[.invisible ink.]

Who cares what others think?

pretty much everyone?

[whoaisame]

I dont mean to take away from your issue or anything, my ex girlfriend had problems with this and I know its a serious thing.

But I gotta say, in the "indie" scene, 90% of the guys must be bulimic or anorexic or something. Its ridiculous. I go to an art school and almost every guy there looks like they haven't eaten a meal in years. It cannot be a coincidence that almost everyone is super thin. Can someone explain this to me?

[rosielikesyou]

I used to have an eating disorder, and regret my eating habits more than anything - it really screws up the metabolism, and I've been trying to fix it to this day. Totally not worth it. It's taken me a few years to build it back up to the bare minimum caloric intake, which is where it's at now. But I know exactly where you're coming from.

I still struggle with body image, but I'm much healthier now, and took up running/exercise rather than starving myself. Definitely much happier now.

[happie]

I dont mean to take away from your issue or anything, my ex girlfriend had problems with this and I know its a serious thing.

But I gotta say, in the "indie" scene, 90% of the guys must be bulimic or anorexic or something. Its ridiculous. I go to an art school and almost every guy there looks like they haven't eaten a meal in years. It cannot be a coincidence that almost everyone is super thin. Can someone explain this to me?

maybe theyre all vegan?

[isntnikione]

I know exactly how you feel.

I was really skinny as a kid until my parents split up. After that, I completely gave up on all the sports I used to do and pretty much just stayed inside bubbled into my own little world and probably ate my feelings too resulting in immense weight gain. It stayed that way till about my junior year of high school when I got put in a weight lifting PE class and lost incredible amounts of weight. After that I started working out daily for 3 years. I was completely obsessed with everything I ate and how much I exercised and stuff. Losing weight is such a mixed blessing - on one hand you're incredibly happy/proud to see it go... but then you become terrified at the prospect of gaining it back.

I think a lot of us who deal with this have this "distorted" view of ourselves. I don't have a shortage of people who tell me I'm attractive, but when I look in the mirror often times I just don't see it. I think I imagine myself to be alot bigger than I actually am. Recently after a 2 month bout of anxiety which resulted in me completely losing my appetite, I found out I lost 20 pounds which was an absolute shock to me because the whole time I kept telling myself how fat I was starting to look and how much I needed to start working out and dieting again. I think finding that out really opened my eyes to how my image of myself was completely unreal in comparison to my actual physical appearance. After that, I'm finally starting to see my body as it really is, and feel good about it. My BMI is good, my weight is normal, I still worry about what I eat alot... but I'm trying to learn to relax. I'm trying to find a healthy balance between exercising and eating right... but also enjoying my life and my food, yanno? .... It's quite a struggle... But eventually, you have to learn to really SEE yourself and love every bit of it and be comfortable with who you are.

I hope we both reach that point soon!

[zion the lion]

Of course this will probably be taken as another "zion the lion lie" that y'all can laugh about and twist around later but I grew up around women who women who were 300-500+ pounds, the pressure was always on. And there were only a few women who were really skinny and they just do 60 or 90 day fasts with smoothie day intervals. I used to be such a bulimic, I would binge and then purge by vomiting and then binge again and purge by fasting and just drinking those superfood shakes or slimfasts, and I lost 30ish pounds.

[saveferris]

Interestingly enough, i'm trying to lose a bunch of weight right now.

[SincerelyMe]

I was a competitive gymnast for about 9 years, and nearly everyone on my team was really tiny. I was always thin, but compared to them, I felt inferior and I've always had some self esteem/weight issues because of that.

Best of luck to you.

[phil19]

i have body issues, but not eating disorders

[the seventeenth]

For as long as I can remember, I've had serious issues with my body image. I grew up most of my life overweight, which destroyed much of my self esteem and confidence. A few years ago, I made the decision to lose weight and in turn lost over 50 pounds. However with the weight loss, my own issues with body amplified tenfold and led me to a obsession with my weight and appearance, which led me to develop a case of bulimia. It's been something I've tried to fight ever since, I've been to rehab for it and I've had nothing but support from my friends but I've never been able to stop obsessing over how I look. It has been one of my most destructive demons in my life and I've gone through countless highs and lows with it. Hopefully one day I'll be able to kick it, as hard as it will be.

So with my story, I ask if anyone else here has dealt with an eating disorder, know someone who has or has body image issues of their own.
what type of diet and excercise did you do to lose 50 pounds?

[cristinaa]

I've never had an eating disorder, but I am kind of obsessive about body image. If there is a day where I felt like I ate too much, it really bothers me, and I won't want to go out or anything.

[Manicapathy]

Meh, thought I didn't like myself, body image etc. I just accept I'm me, and that I'm probably gonna be lugging around an extra tire forever. Fat and happy, that's where it's at.

[de1337ed]

one of my best friends always had a low self esteem and eventually she started to diet because she wanted to fit into this pair of jeans. what started out as 5-10 pounds soon went to more. she became anorexic and became obsessed with her body image. eventually she went to bulimia. she hid it from everyone, i was the only one who noticed, or seemed to care. she put me in a paradox, i couldn't openly express my disapproval because she'd stop talking to me, but i couldn't just sit by and not do anything at all. i tried to subtly show her my disapproval as much as i could, but the whole situation became very real to me when i tried calling her and a nurse answered. she had been in public somewhere and blacked out, she didn't have any identification on her but she was rushed to the hospital when she wasn't coming back around. the nurse asked me who she was, and was trying to figure out anything they could on her. she almost died that day, and its something thats always in the back of my head when i think of someone else who 'just wants to lose a few pounds' because thats all she ever wanted to do at the beginning. she still suffers from some of the chronic effects of bulimia and she never will fully recover. she never thought that she'd be one of those people that had to deal with all the consequences, but here she is, and does. if anyone ever needs to talk about their own eating disorder i'll be more than happy to help, just shoot me a pm, i'll be more than happy to help

[Kassie09]

Yeah when I was like 13/14 I started like getting real hardcore into going to the gym and being better and better at ballet--which ultimately met being as skinny as I possibly could. It really freaked everyone in my family out and no one really knew how to handle it or what to say to me. They made me quit ballet which just made it worse, really. I got treatment for it at late 15/early 16 and got up to a normal weight. I've been pretty free of eating issues since then, however I weigh more than I ever have before and it's starting to really bother me and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fall back into not eating again. It's inevitable since it only goes into 'remission' and you're never 'cured' of it. And at the moment I positively hate my body. However, it's a very taboo subject in my family, no one brings it up. In family pictures where I look absolutely disgustingly thin, they've all been put away. We just pretend that didn't happen..so if it happens again..I dunno what they'll do.

It's rough man, it fucks with your head in really weird ways. Like it's just food but its so frustrating.

[xfantabulousx]

I was bulimic for a little while when I was 15/16 and I lost a ton of weight in a short amount of time. It started out as me not eating anything for a while, until I cracked and started eating everything and then purging. My best friend and my sister found out about it, but I made them promise not to tell anyone. My parents later found out and threatened to send me to a facility unless I agreed to go to therapy. I was told by my therapist that I'm depressed too (which wasn't a surprise). I couldn't stand therapy, so I only went to two sessions. I didn't ever purge again, but I did exercise 3-4 hours a day for a short time.

In the past few years, I've gained back all the weight I lost and more, and I still have major issues with food. I'm trying to lose weight again (I have been since I quit purging), but I haven't been able to. I feel worthless since I used to tell myself I wouldn't be good enough until I was X number of pounds, and I'm even further from that now. Since I'm not at home, there have been many times where I've contemplated purging, but I haven't because I'm afraid I'll become addicted to it again, and I'll get put in a treatment facility. I went from feeling like I had total self control to feeling like I have none. It's terrifying to think that I'll never be able to see food normally ever again.

[atticus18244fss]

pretty much everyone?
If people just went through life not giving a shit about others thoughts about them, everyone would be a lot more happy. I try to not let it affect me.

[ari telescope]

I dont mean to take away from your issue or anything, my ex girlfriend had problems with this and I know its a serious thing.

But I gotta say, in the "indie" scene, 90% of the guys must be bulimic or anorexic or something. Its ridiculous. I go to an art school and almost every guy there looks like they haven't eaten a meal in years. It cannot be a coincidence that almost everyone is super thin. Can someone explain this to me?
I noticed this as well. In "the scene" it's not just the skinny girls who NEVER eat who fuck with my head when it comes to my weight, but the fucking guys even. Probably why I hate hanging out with my friends who turned into hipsters and all their hipster friends. You know, like you can't even IMAGINE them just nommin on a cheeseburger, and it's just wrong.

what type of diet and excercise did you do to lose 50 pounds?
He did mention that he was bigger in his younger days. Bigger people can lose 50 pounds WAY easier than people who are only say, 15 pounds overweight.

I hate this. I swear, I'm not eating and working out and taking phen and obsessing over literally every part but I am okay. I seriously just fucking god damn hate that I have to work this hard and cry and fucking pain over it and drink a water with lemon while my friends get to eat fries and mozzi sticks and mashed potatos and burgers every weekend when we go out. And I'm still stuck being a good 30 pounds larger than they are. I have to wear hoodies and literally the right sneakers that balance out my (what I notice to be) gigantic thighs. And whenever I do lose a few, if I allow myself to stop it for THREE days, I gain back the 10 I just lost. I fucking hate this shit, and after 7 years, I don't think I'll ever find the right balance.

I just ate like shit the last three days and didn't work out once. I know if I get on the scale tomorrow I'll probably cry because I just fucked up the progress I'd made the week before. So tomorrow I'm going to make sure I jump back on the routine and not check in until at least the weekend. I'm sure the pizza party I'm throwing on Wednesday won't be difficult to get through. ...Fuck my life.

[atticus18244fss]

I noticed this as well. In "the scene" it's not just the skinny girls who NEVER eat who fuck with my head when it comes to my weight, but the fucking guys even. Probably why I hate hanging out with my friends who turned into hipsters and all their hipster friends. You know, like you can't even IMAGINE them just nommin on a cheeseburger, and it's just wrong.


He did mention that he was bigger in his younger days. Bigger people can lose 50 pounds WAY easier than people who are only say, 15 pounds overweight.

I hate this. I swear, I'm not eating and working out and taking phen and obsessing over literally every part but I am okay. I seriously just fucking god damn hate that I have to work this hard and cry and fucking pain over it and drink a water with lemon while my friends get to eat fries and mozzi sticks and mashed potatos and burgers every weekend when we go out. And I'm still stuck being a good 30 pounds larger than they are. I have to wear hoodies and literally the right sneakers that balance out my (what I notice to be) gigantic thighs. And whenever I do lose a few, if I allow myself to stop it for THREE days, I gain back the 10 I just lost. I fucking hate this shit, and after 7 years, I don't think I'll ever find the right balance.

I just ate like shit the last three days and didn't work out once. I know if I get on the scale tomorrow I'll probably cry because I just fucked up the progress I'd made the week before. So tomorrow I'm going to make sure I jump back on the routine and not check in until at least the weekend. I'm sure the pizza party I'm throwing on Wednesday won't be difficult to get through. ...Fuck my life.

Don't want to oversimplify it, but just be happy with who you are. Everybody is different.

[ari telescope]

I was bulimic for a little while when I was 15/16 and I lost a ton of weight in a short amount of time. It started out as me not eating anything for a while, until I cracked and started eating everything and then purging. My best friend and my sister found out about it, but I made them promise not to tell anyone. My parents later found out and threatened to send me to a facility unless I agreed to go to therapy. I was told by my therapist that I'm depressed too (which wasn't a surprise). I couldn't stand therapy, so I only went to two sessions. I didn't ever purge again, but I did exercise 3-4 hours a day for a short time.

In the past few years, I've gained back all the weight I lost and more, and I still have major issues with food. I'm trying to lose weight again (I have been since I quit purging), but I haven't been able to. I feel worthless since I used to tell myself I wouldn't be good enough until I was X number of pounds, and I'm even further from that now. Since I'm not at home, there have been many times where I've contemplated purging, but I haven't because I'm afraid I'll become addicted to it again, and I'll get put in a treatment facility. I went from feeling like I had total self control to feeling like I have none. It's terrifying to think that I'll never be able to see food normally ever again.

I know exactly how you feel. People think that if you have this obsession with food that it automatically means you're morbidly obese. If my friends even knew a FRACTION of how unhealthy and warped and obsessed my views on food are, they'd be completely shocked and probably not even believe it. The way I look at food will NEVER be as normal as it is supposed to be, as normal people see it. Ever. And that fucking scares me too.

I am so glad that you said that because I have never discussed this kind of stuff with a real person (even over the internet) before. I thought I was a total freak.

I don't even know you, but I know I'm proud of you for keeping strong. We might be yo-yo dieters for who knows how long, but I'm proud that you aren't hurting yourself even more. Keep it up.

[ari telescope]

Don't want to oversimplify it, but just be happy with who you are. Everybody is different.
You're one of the good ones. And thank you for being nice and helpful to people you don't even know. It's a good quality!

[xfantabulousx]

I know exactly how you feel. People think that if you have this obsession with food that it automatically means you're morbidly obese. If my friends even knew a FRACTION of how unhealthy and warped and obsessed my views on food are, they'd be completely shocked and probably not even believe it. The way I look at food will NEVER be as normal as it is supposed to be, as normal people see it. Ever. And that fucking scares me too.

I am so glad that you said that because I have never discussed this kind of stuff with a real person (even over the internet) before. I thought I was a total freak.

I don't even know you, but I know I'm proud of you for keeping strong. We might be yo-yo dieters for who knows how long, but I'm proud that you aren't hurting yourself even more. Keep it up.

Thank you so much. I've never actually had a conversation about this with anyone either. I just now back into this thread and was reading your post about wearing hoodies and picking out the right sneakers and I was thinking about how eerily similar that is to me. It's the same thing with getting on the scale; I ate out all weekend and I know I overdid it, so I can't get on the scale because I know it'll just make me upset.

I obviously would never for anyone else to feel how I feel as it's honestly taken over my life in the past few years, but it's comforting knowing that there are other people out there who understand what I deal with on a daily basis. I know what you're going through and how hard it can be. I wish you the best.

[Shatter_Glass]

I deleted it because I felt mean.

no, you deleted it because you're a pussy ass bitch, you hag.

http://z.about.com/d/animatedtv/1/5/n/T/garrison_Death_Camp_400.jpg

[atticus18244fss]

You're one of the good ones. And thank you for being nice and helpful to people you don't even know. It's a good quality!
No problem. Just remember guys don't actually like models. Society has totally effed all females in the head by making them think they need to be skinny like models. Models are ugly and unhealthy. Don't strive for that. Deep shit in this thread.

[vivatoto56]

no, you deleted it because you're a pussy ass bitch, you hag.



Shit I'm caught!

Well at least Mr. Slave is skinny

http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/images/shows/southpark/vertical_video/import/season_06/sp_0614_02_v6.jpg

[pnkhrdwndr]

I've always had body image issues and some small form of eating disorder but nothing real terrible. It really has made me had low self esteem though for sure

[ari telescope]

Thank you so much. I've never actually had a conversation about this with anyone either. I just now back into this thread and was reading your post about wearing hoodies and picking out the right sneakers and I was thinking about how eerily similar that is to me. It's the same thing with getting on the scale; I ate out all weekend and I know I overdid it, so I can't get on the scale because I know it'll just make me upset.

I obviously would never for anyone else to feel how I feel as it's honestly taken over my life in the past few years, but it's comforting knowing that there are other people out there who understand what I deal with on a daily basis. I know what you're going through and how hard it can be. I wish you the best.
It is totally weird talking about it (and I most definitely did not expect anyone to get the hoodie/shoes thing...). I've tried to keep secret blogs about it just to have a place to vent, but it actually feels nice to know someone is listening - and understanding. I'm insanely awkwardly social, but if you ever wanna just chat about literally anything, hit me up in PM or Twitter or Facebook, anything. And good luck back, stay tough.

[po0ty]

Would eating disorders like this exist without the media? Serious question.

[ari telescope]

Would eating disorders like this exist without the media? Serious question.

Not that I can think of.

[SincerelyMe]

Would eating disorders like this exist without the media? Serious question.

Yes.

[ari telescope]

Yes.

You don't think the media invented body image rules?not even just the media now, or 50 years ago. But even in Victorian days when rich mothers pressured their daughters to stay looking good and beautiful and classy and stay away from commoners because of what others would think of them. That's like prehistoric social media pressures.

[de1337ed]

Yes.

Agreed.

You don't think the media invented body image rules?not even just the media now, or 50 years ago. But even in Victorian days when rich mothers pressured their daughters to stay looking good and beautiful and classy and stay away from commoners because of what others would think of them. That's like prehistoric social media pressures.

It's more than just media pressure, there's social pressure as well. Even without media influencing social circles, it would still be there. it might not be as prevelant, but it'd be there nonetheless.

[timb89]

pretty much everyone?

so true.

[SincerelyMe]

You don't think the media invented body image rules?not even just the media now, or 50 years ago. But even in Victorian days when rich mothers pressured their daughters to stay looking good and beautiful and classy and stay away from commoners because of what others would think of them. That's like prehistoric social media pressures.

Pressure comes from places other than the media.

[anthonydarko]

sucks to hear that dude...

My ex-girlfriend had serious bulimia and nothing I would say could stop her. No matter how many times I told her how beautiful she was, it never mattered. We were together for 4 years and let me tell u, it seriously wore me out. She was extremely beautiful, I really didnt get it.
I know exactly how she felt, I destroyed two relationships because of my own insecurities. It's difficult to tell someone who suffers from bulimia or anorexia those kinds of things because they don't believe it. My two exes told me frequently that it was all in my head and that they didn't care how I looked. Looking back, I regret not listening to them.
growing up and into an Indian body with curves while surrounded by girls who are size 00 has always been a thing for me. like my conscious mind doesn't give a shit and thinks i look fine, but my subconscious makes me not eat certain things or get sick after i do. i truly believe minds can be extremely powerful and i think is the reason why i don't eat the things i used to enjoy b/c my body makes me feel sick afterwards.

all the best for you dude, hope you can overcome your mentality.
I know this all too well. There are many things that I cannot eat anymore or much of because of the fear of gaining weight by consuming them. Things such as chocolate, cake and other pastries, certain kinds of meat, comfort foods, etc., make me very uncomfortable so I try to avoid them so I don't panic. I've been trying to kick that but as you said, the mind is extremely powerful and letting go of something like that is very, very difficult. Thank for the words and I hope you too can overcome that.
I used to have an eating disorder, and regret my eating habits more than anything - it really screws up the metabolism, and I've been trying to fix it to this day. Totally not worth it. It's taken me a few years to build it back up to the bare minimum caloric intake, which is where it's at now. But I know exactly where you're coming from.

I still struggle with body image, but I'm much healthier now, and took up running/exercise rather than starving myself. Definitely much happier now.
This is probably one of the biggest things I hate about my disorder, it completely destroyed my metabolism. Working out has helped a little bit, but I am nowhere close to my friends, who can pretty much anything and not worry about it. Often I am jealous of them because of that.
I know exactly how you feel.

I was really skinny as a kid until my parents split up. After that, I completely gave up on all the sports I used to do and pretty much just stayed inside bubbled into my own little world and probably ate my feelings too resulting in immense weight gain. It stayed that way till about my junior year of high school when I got put in a weight lifting PE class and lost incredible amounts of weight. After that I started working out daily for 3 years. I was completely obsessed with everything I ate and how much I exercised and stuff. Losing weight is such a mixed blessing - on one hand you're incredibly happy/proud to see it go... but then you become terrified at the prospect of gaining it back.

I think a lot of us who deal with this have this "distorted" view of ourselves. I don't have a shortage of people who tell me I'm attractive, but when I look in the mirror often times I just don't see it. I think I imagine myself to be alot bigger than I actually am. Recently after a 2 month bout of anxiety which resulted in me completely losing my appetite, I found out I lost 20 pounds which was an absolute shock to me because the whole time I kept telling myself how fat I was starting to look and how much I needed to start working out and dieting again. I think finding that out really opened my eyes to how my image of myself was completely unreal in comparison to my actual physical appearance. After that, I'm finally starting to see my body as it really is, and feel good about it. My BMI is good, my weight is normal, I still worry about what I eat alot... but I'm trying to learn to relax. I'm trying to find a healthy balance between exercising and eating right... but also enjoying my life and my food, yanno? .... It's quite a struggle... But eventually, you have to learn to really SEE yourself and love every bit of it and be comfortable with who you are.

I hope we both reach that point soon!
That has fueled my disorder for quite some time. Whenever I lose a pound or two, I feel happy and much better about myself because of it. When I gain a pound or two, this fear just kicks in and I fear that I'm on the path to being overweight and miserable again. It's a very unbalanced way to live. Thank for the sentiment and I wish the best for you as well :-)
what type of diet and excercise did you do to lose 50 pounds?
Well in the beginning, I eat right, stopped drinking things such as soda and exercised regularly. As the pounds went down and the compliments came in, I desired to lose more so I took very drastic measures to lose more weight. I limited my calorie intake to less than 1,000 calories a day, eating very small portion sizes. If I felt I eat to much, I would purge it out of me to prevent any weight gain. It got to the point were it completely consumed my life and made me miserable. I'm not anyway close to that now, but traces of it still remain.
Yeah when I was like 13/14 I started like getting real hardcore into going to the gym and being better and better at ballet--which ultimately met being as skinny as I possibly could. It really freaked everyone in my family out and no one really knew how to handle it or what to say to me. They made me quit ballet which just made it worse, really. I got treatment for it at late 15/early 16 and got up to a normal weight. I've been pretty free of eating issues since then, however I weigh more than I ever have before and it's starting to really bother me and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fall back into not eating again. It's inevitable since it only goes into 'remission' and you're never 'cured' of it. And at the moment I positively hate my body. However, it's a very taboo subject in my family, no one brings it up. In family pictures where I look absolutely disgustingly thin, they've all been put away. We just pretend that didn't happen..so if it happens again..I dunno what they'll do.

It's rough man, it fucks with your head in really weird ways. Like it's just food but its so frustrating.
My family has not been the most supportive of me with my eating disorder. In the beginning, they felt that I was being a "baby" and I needed to "knock it off". Because of that, I had to deal with my disorder on my own, which was a physically and emotional difficult thing to do. They've since been more accepting of me dealing with this problem but the hurt I felt from them basically turning their back on me is still there.
I was bulimic for a little while when I was 15/16 and I lost a ton of weight in a short amount of time. It started out as me not eating anything for a while, until I cracked and started eating everything and then purging. My best friend and my sister found out about it, but I made them promise not to tell anyone. My parents later found out and threatened to send me to a facility unless I agreed to go to therapy. I was told by my therapist that I'm depressed too (which wasn't a surprise). I couldn't stand therapy, so I only went to two sessions. I didn't ever purge again, but I did exercise 3-4 hours a day for a short time.

In the past few years, I've gained back all the weight I lost and more, and I still have major issues with food. I'm trying to lose weight again (I have been since I quit purging), but I haven't been able to. I feel worthless since I used to tell myself I wouldn't be good enough until I was X number of pounds, and I'm even further from that now. Since I'm not at home, there have been many times where I've contemplated purging, but I haven't because I'm afraid I'll become addicted to it again, and I'll get put in a treatment facility. I went from feeling like I had total self control to feeling like I have none. It's terrifying to think that I'll never be able to see food normally ever again.
I've had these thoughts in my head before and believe me, it is a horrible feeling to think these things. I too will never be able to look at food without thinking of portion size or obsessing over the nutritional information, as well as thinking I have zero control at times. However, it's important to remember that you can fight back against those thoughts and not let your subconscious have complete control over you. Those thoughts always be with you but you always have the power to tell them no.
He did mention that he was bigger in his younger days. Bigger people can lose 50 pounds WAY easier than people who are only say, 15 pounds overweight.

I hate this. I swear, I'm not eating and working out and taking phen and obsessing over literally every part but I am okay. I seriously just fucking god damn hate that I have to work this hard and cry and fucking pain over it and drink a water with lemon while my friends get to eat fries and mozzi sticks and mashed potatos and burgers every weekend when we go out. And I'm still stuck being a good 30 pounds larger than they are. I have to wear hoodies and literally the right sneakers that balance out my (what I notice to be) gigantic thighs. And whenever I do lose a few, if I allow myself to stop it for THREE days, I gain back the 10 I just lost. I fucking hate this shit, and after 7 years, I don't think I'll ever find the right balance.

I just ate like shit the last three days and didn't work out once. I know if I get on the scale tomorrow I'll probably cry because I just fucked up the progress I'd made the week before. So tomorrow I'm going to make sure I jump back on the routine and not check in until at least the weekend. I'm sure the pizza party I'm throwing on Wednesday won't be difficult to get through. ...Fuck my life.
I know exactly how you feel with this. There has been many times I've eaten out with friends where I eat what I feel is too much or too fating and I either excuse myself and go purge myself in the bathroom of wherever I'm at or I try to deal with it and I end up having a anxiety/panic attack. I'm always worried about gaining that weight I lost so its always hard to eat whatever isn't comfortable for me. At times when I get on the scale and I see that I gained weight, I always have a feeling of guilt and fear about the pound or two I gained. However, I also think to myself that it is only a minor setback and I can lose that pound or two again if I try hard. It's easy to freak out over gaining weight of any amount but you have to also to remember to breathe and relax about it. There's nothing wrong with eating comfort foods like the stuff you mentioned, you just have to moderate how much you eat of it. That was one of the most important thing I learned with dealing with my disorder and while at times it is rather difficult to do, it has helped me in many ways. Point is, there are times when you fall off the horse, it happens to everyone. What matters is not letting that get to you and getting back on.

[anthonydarko]

Would eating disorders like this exist without the media? Serious question.
Of course.

[anthonydarko]

No problem. Just remember guys don't actually like models. Society has totally effed all females in the head by making them think they need to be skinny like models. Models are ugly and unhealthy. Don't strive for that. Deep shit in this thread.
I've said some crappy things about you on this site and while we have differences on music, I can see that you are a good person for saying things like this.

[ari telescope]

Agreed.



It's more than just media pressure, there's social pressure as well. Even without media influencing social circles, it would still be there. it might not be as prevelant, but it'd be there nonetheless.
Maybe my definition of "media" is much bigger and more general, because I was definitely including social pressures in with it. Wooops

[cuzimlefthanded]

I used to have an eating disorder, and regret my eating habits more than anything - it really screws up the metabolism, and I've been trying to fix it to this day. Totally not worth it. It's taken me a few years to build it back up to the bare minimum caloric intake, which is where it's at now. But I know exactly where you're coming from.

I still struggle with body image, but I'm much healthier now, and took up running/exercise rather than starving myself. Definitely much happier now.

Yeaaaaahhhhhh get those endorphins pumping!

[anthonydarko]

I would like to add to this thread that if anyone wants to talk about their issues with me or just needs some support, I'd be more than happy to do so. Just send me a PM or hit me up on Facebook or Twitter and we can talk.

[ari telescope]

I know exactly how she felt, I destroyed two relationships because of my own insecurities. It's difficult to tell someone who suffers from bulimia or anorexia those kinds of things because they don't believe it. My two exes told me frequently that it was all in my head and that they didn't care how I looked. Looking back, I regret not listening to them.

I know this all too well. There are many things that I cannot eat anymore or much of because of the fear of gaining weight by consuming them. Things such as chocolate, cake and other pastries, certain kinds of meat, comfort foods, etc., make me very uncomfortable so I try to avoid them so I don't panic. I've been trying to kick that but as you said, the mind is extremely powerful and letting go of something like that is very, very difficult. Thank for the words and I hope you too can overcome that.

This is probably one of the biggest things I hate about my disorder, it completely destroyed my metabolism. Working out has helped a little bit, but I am nowhere close to my friends, who can pretty much anything and not worry about it. Often I am jealous of them because of that.

That has fueled my disorder for quite some time. Whenever I lose a pound or two, I feel happy and much better about myself because of it. When I gain a pound or two, this fear just kicks in and I fear that I'm on the path to being overweight and miserable again. It's a very unbalanced way to live. Thank for the sentiment and I wish the best for you as well :-)

Well in the beginning, I eat right, stopped drinking things such as soda and exercised regularly. As the pounds went down and the compliments came in, I desired to lose more so I took very drastic measures to lose more weight. I limited my calorie intake to less than 1,000 calories a day, eating very small portion sizes. If I felt I eat to much, I would purge it out of me to prevent any weight gain. It got to the point were it completely consumed my life and made me miserable. I'm not anyway close to that now, but traces of it still remain.

My family has not been the most supportive of me with my eating disorder. In the beginning, they felt that I was being a "baby" and I needed to "knock it off". Because of that, I had to deal with my disorder on my own, which was a physically and emotional difficult thing to do. They've since been more accepting of me dealing with this problem but the hurt I felt from them basically turning their back on me is still there.

I've had these thoughts in my head before and believe me, it is a horrible feeling to think these things. I too will never be able to look at food without thinking of portion size or obsessing over the nutritional information, as well as thinking I have zero control at times. However, it's important to remember that you can fight back against those thoughts and not let your subconscious have complete control over you. Those thoughts always be with you but you always have the power to tell them no.

I know exactly how you feel with this. There has been many times I've eaten out with friends where I eat what I feel is too much or too fating and I either excuse myself and go purge myself in the bathroom of wherever I'm at or I try to deal with it and I end up having a anxiety/panic attack. I'm always worried about gaining that weight I lost so its always hard to eat whatever isn't comfortable for me. At times when I get on the scale and I see that I gained weight, I always have a feeling of guilt and fear about the pound or two I gained. However, I also think to myself that it is only a minor setback and I can lose that pound or two again if I try hard. It's easy to freak out over gaining weight of any amount but you have to also to remember to breathe and relax about it. There's nothing wrong with eating comfort foods like the stuff you mentioned, you just have to moderate how much you eat of it. That was one of the most important thing I learned with dealing with my disorder and while at times it is rather difficult to do, it has helped me in many ways. Point is, there are times when you fall off the horse, it happens to everyone. What matters is not letting that get to you and getting back on.
I felt so much more despair and fear in your OP, but I can tell how reading others in the same mindstate helped somewhat. It's always interesting to end up being the person giving support to the others when you seemed to need it more at first, you know? Like once we understand that other people feel the same as us, it's easier to know just the right thing to say to them that we sometimes can't even think to say to ourselves.

Portion control is SO hard for me :( And I know it, so I have to eat the same, yogurt, green tea, boring vegetables and lightly seasoned fish all the time. I wish I was better at portion control so I can have delicious treats, but it's pretty much impossible for me to master. I admire you for being able to though, it's SUCH a healthy way if you're trying to manage weight. I'll keep trying though.


Hey guys, we should make sure to keep an eye on this thread just in case any of us ever need support or to just talk.

[AlkalineAshes]

Depression or some mental illness has made me constantly preoccupied with my appearance and every flaw. I was a distance runner in college and had to be skinny, but one winter I ballooned up like 25 pounds thanx to constant drinking. I lost the weigt thankfull but I would say I have a fear of being overweight and exercise pretty much everyday. One summer I did go bulimic and was super skinny,was also on alot of prescrip drugs then.

[anthonydarko]

I felt so much more despair and fear in your OP, but I can tell how reading others in the same mindstate helped somewhat. It's always interesting to end up being the person giving support to the others when you seemed to need it more at first, you know? Like once we understand that other people feel the same as us, it's easier to know just the right thing to say to them that we sometimes can't even think to say to ourselves.

Portion control is SO hard for me :( And I know it, so I have to eat the same, yogurt, green tea, boring vegetables and lightly seasoned fish all the time. I wish I was better at portion control so I can have delicious treats, but it's pretty much impossible for me to master. I admire you for being able to though, it's SUCH a healthy way if you're trying to manage weight. I'll keep trying though.


Hey guys, we should make sure to keep an eye on this thread just in case any of us ever need support or to just talk.
When I was in rehab, it was very easy to be the one who gave the good advice that you never followed. I had many conversations with the people that I was with that helped them in some way, most notably was helping a girl get over an abusive ex that was a main contributor to her disorder. It was a very ironic situation, I helped out with people's problems but I never really helped myself. Hopefully this time around I can talk about these issues with other people while helping them with theirs and get something out of it.

Portion control can seem difficult but the key is moderation. If you get a big meal from a restaurant, only eat a certain portion of it and save the rest for later. If you make a batch of cookies, just have one or two and put the rest in a jar. As long as you don't overeat certain foods, you can eat comfort foods and not worry about it. It will be hard at first but just stick with it and it'll get easier. Also, I agree that we should keep an eye in here and be helpful for those who need it, it'd be greatly beneficial.

[Demilition]

I was a little pudgy at the beginning of high school and so I went on this massive health streak. I started cutting out the regular foods. but then I decided nothing but vegetables and going to the gym for like 3 hours everyday. I was eating an apple, a carrot, and like two tomatoes daily. I went friggin crazy. Eventually I got down to like 39 kg (for a 162cm girl...) and eventually hospitalised. My resting heart rate was about 30. I was put into a medical ward and then later transferred into a psychiatric ward for minors. This involved nasal feeding and blood tests twice daily and all that good stuff. After a year of in and out of hospital and up to about 7 months total being an inpatient I stayed out. Still incredibly thin its only taken me till about 3 months ago to eat things other than fruit and vegetables. Then things started going in the other direction. But slowly I'm getting back to whats right.
I can't remember a time I was ever happy with my body.
Thats the short story.
I'm a healthy and attractive body now. Not skinny but not overweight. I have actual woman curves now and its weird to appreciate.
I wouldn't wish my experiences on anyone. Let's just say I appreciate my home and family and friends so much more now.

[rosielikesyou]

This is probably one of the biggest things I hate about my disorder, it completely destroyed my metabolism. Working out has helped a little bit, but I am nowhere close to my friends, who can pretty much anything and not worry about it. Often I am jealous of them because of that.

Believe me, it's the least favorite thing for me, too. My friends can all eat relatively normal to excessive amounts of food and not exercise and still be okay, while I have to keep an eagle's eye on my daily intake. It definitely puts a damper on things, and I usually have to plan what I eat ahead of time, especially when going out to eat. But running helps a lot, especially if you do it in the morning to kick start your metabolism. (I run late at night, waking up early kills my soul. But it's still super effective!)

But if you'd ever like to swap stories, feel free to talk to me anytime. Even though it took up (and partially still does) a big part of my life, I'm exponentially better and healthier now, and if talking will help you, I'd be more than happy to. Hang in there.

Yeaaaaahhhhhh get those endorphins pumping!

YEEEEAH. Runner's high is so awesome!

[Midgar777]

Hey man, sorry to hear that you are having a rough time.

Eating disorders are pretty crappy, my mum suffered from bulimia when she was younger. The best advice I can give you is just to echo what everyone else has said; Don't worry about what people think of you, as long as the people you love are there for you then your image really shouldn't matter. Just forget the whole concept of image as best you can and focus on doing the things that make you happy. Everyone is different and thats what makes us awesome, fuck what other people think and be yourself <3

I've suffered from IBS/Crohns since I was 11 and it gets on top of me all the time but like with any illness/problem, it's always better to surround yourself with your friends and do things to take your mind off it :)

Hope all goes well man,

[deFobbed14yrs]

I was a little pudgy at the beginning of high school and so I went on this massive health streak. I started cutting out the regular foods. but then I decided nothing but vegetables and going to the gym for like 3 hours everyday. I was eating an apple, a carrot, and like two tomatoes daily. I went friggin crazy. Eventually I got down to like 39 kg (for a 162cm girl...) and eventually hospitalised. My resting heart rate was about 30. I was put into a medical ward and then later transferred into a psychiatric ward for minors. This involved nasal feeding and blood tests twice daily and all that good stuff. After a year of in and out of hospital and up to about 7 months total being an inpatient I stayed out. Still incredibly thin its only taken me till about 3 months ago to eat things other than fruit and vegetables. Then things started going in the other direction. But slowly I'm getting back to whats right.
I can't remember a time I was ever happy with my body.
Thats the short story.
I'm a healthy and attractive body now. Not skinny but not overweight. I have actual woman curves now and its weird to appreciate.
I wouldn't wish my experiences on anyone. Let's just say I appreciate my home and family and friends so much more now.


hell that's a story, glad you're in a better place now!:-d

p.s. curves rule!!!

[atticus18244fss]

I've said some crappy things about you on this site and while we have differences on music, I can see that you are a good person for saying things like this.
http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2008/10/20/633601406661871564-HugItOut.jpg

[Yellowcard2006]

Make every decision for yourself.

[samsara]

In middle school and part of high school I only ate one meal a day and slept a lot plus I had depression so I ended up losing a bunch of weight. I stopped doing that but gained a bunch of weight so now I have to lose weight but in a proper fashion and it scares me to think I cant do it without resorting to extreme measures. I've never had a good body image and I dont ever think I will.

[Hiroki]

I have dealt with weight issues all my life and have ended up in hospital for it which wasn't pleasant in itself as I was somewhat mocked for being a male with weight issues....but I fell in love and slowly I got better (well I put the urges to the back of my head) but lately it's becoming more of a problem (as im stressed with work/life) and I have lost 5 stone since the back end of December and have to once again return to the eating clinic at my local hospital to be re-accessed.

[MattYako]

I have a problem with my own image. I was 130 pounds in 2nd grade, always getting made fun of and bullied. It just has always made me fear of who I am, I lost weight and got taller, but I still look in the mirror and see that fat little kid. I try to work on my body, but it still doesn't help. Best of luck to you to get over this.

[Laural666]

I've tried to make myself throw up before, so i could stay home, i don't understand how people do it either, it was like impossible for me.

[Jet Set Paul]

I dont mean to take away from your issue or anything, my ex girlfriend had problems with this and I know its a serious thing.

But I gotta say, in the "indie" scene, 90% of the guys must be bulimic or anorexic or something. Its ridiculous. I go to an art school and almost every guy there looks like they haven't eaten a meal in years. It cannot be a coincidence that almost everyone is super thin. Can someone explain this to me?

cocaine?

[geebee889]

My best friend developed bulimia when she was about 15. She went through all of the rehab stuff, but it never helped. She's got a daughter now, which I think had been her saving grace. She hasn't had any relapses since before she found out she was pregnant, and her little girl is almost a year old now. That child saved her life.

As for myself, I've never had the best body image or any self confidence. I know I'm not big, but I have huge ass hips thanks to my mom. I can't help but look at other girls who are the same height as me, but they're wearing jeans that are at least two sizes smaller than mine. It's never gone as far as an eating disorder, but I have worked out so much that I passed out once. I feel like no matter what I do, I look the same. It's almost not worth the trouble.

[maxvsmaradona]

Ah, this thread. I guess I should tell y'all my story.

I've been overweight my entire life. During middle school, I was teased constantly. I had no confidence in anything, and I really didn't have any friends. At all. I tried joining the football team in 8th grade to try and change that. Did it help? Not at all.

So, freshman year comes along. Am I still teased in high school? Yes, but not as much. Sophomore year, I found a great group of kids that treated me like I wasn't any different. I joined my first band, and some of my confidence/esteem issues went away. Yet, these issues resurfaced every time I tried to get a girl to like. I was rejected time and time again. Same deal junior year. Then, things changed. Senior year. No girlfriend, never been kissed, and at my heaviest weight, things were bad. Real bad. Things could have gotten real drastic, but then my mom mentioned to me how one of her coworkers had gotten the Lap Band surgery, and how she lost a good amount of weight. I decided I would do the same and change my life. In february of 2008, I became the youngest patient (18yrs old) to receive the Lap Band.

With the Lap Band, the first 6 months post-op, I lost about 45-50 pounds. It was awesome. My confidence/esteem/image went up, and I was happy. Yet, with any weightloss success story, there will always be downfalls and plateaus. It's been two years since my surgery, and I gained a good amount of that weight back. I am glad to say, however, in the past 3 months, I've lost 15-20 pounds. Do I have a girlfriend yet? No. Have I've been kissed yet? No. Am I down about it? Not at all. For some odd reason, my confidence and my esteem is sky high. I'm in a new band, have made a whole brand new group of friends (I still have my old ones, too), and I get to meet new girls all the time who do seem to have some sort of unbiased interest in me.

So things are great. Who ever does have these issues, I say to you: do not give up. Do not get down on yourself. Things always get better. They always do.

[Deadbolt23]

My best friend developed bulimia when she was about 15. She went through all of the rehab stuff, but it never helped. She's got a daughter now, which I think had been her saving grace. She hasn't had any relapses since before she found out she was pregnant, and her little girl is almost a year old now. That child saved her life.

As for myself, I've never had the best body image or any self confidence. I know I'm not big, but I have huge ass hips thanks to my mom. I can't help but look at other girls who are the same height as me, but they're wearing jeans that are at least two sizes smaller than mine. It's never gone as far as an eating disorder, but I have worked out so much that I passed out once. I feel like no matter what I do, I look the same. It's almost not worth the trouble.

It's not worth the trouble. You're gorgeous, so shush!


This thread made me sad. Good luck to you all. I hope you get past it.

[geebee889]

It's not worth the trouble. You're gorgeous, so shush!


This thread made me sad. Good luck to you all. I hope you get past it.


Do not agree.

[Deadbolt23]

Do not agree.

You should borrow someone else's eyes for a bit.

[geebee889]

You should borrow someone else's eyes for a bit.


So I've been told. I've just never seen myself as anything more than average.

[Deadbolt23]

So I've been told. I've just never seen myself as anything more than average.

:-( I hope that changes.

[geebee889]

:-( I hope that changes.


I sure hope so too.

[swirlofhues]

i feel like i know too many people with body image issues but i always try to keep it positive because i sincerely do think they're beautiful the way they are. it's really tough and i used to get too attached to the situation but i learned that they will all come to that conclusion on their own. a million people could tell them this and they would still not believe it until they felt that way. i try to be understanding since i am very critical of myself as well, so i know how it goes. i don't have eating issues, though.

the last two years i've been trying to lose weight to get to my ideal goal and there will be months when it's everything i think about and my day is planned accordingly to how many calories i could avoid/could lose. it makes me sad that i cared so much, and i still do sometimes, because it feels like that's all that matters. and i hated how i would complain about "how much i over-ate" so automatically when it was a normal portion, and how it became such a repetitive and negative attitude for all the people around me. i'm pretty happy now in general, so it's not something that's in the forefront of my priorities because i, personally, no longer put so much of self worth on how much i weigh.

[XLT917]

I've had a roller coaster ride when it comes to my weight. I was a pretty healthy child up until about 4th or 5th grade when my family moved (for the fourth time). I didn't have trouble finding friends in the new neighborhood but the thing was the one who was nicest to me wasn't as active, our time was spent playing video games, watching television and the like. So there I put on about 50 pounds. My 6th grade year my family found themselves moving again but this time only 45 minutes away from the neighborhood we left, so we decided to stay with that school. The only thing was with the extra 45 minute drive and playing baseball (which at that age is not all that athletic) we'd stay in the area and eat out at a fastfood joint. So by the end of 6th grade entering 7th I found myself weighing 230 pounds and only 5 feet tall. 8th grade my mother put me on weight watchers and so entering high school I was down to 200. Freshman and Sophomore year I played football and took weight training and then junior and senior year I played soccer and basketball and found myself at a fairly healthy weight of 185. But now community college has screwed me, from being depressed of seeing all my friends go, not having a sport to play, lack of motivation to work out and other life situations, I've spent the last two years pretty much to myself locked up in my room and am back up (and even beyond what I was) to 235. Of course being 6 feet tall now I am not the round bubble boy I was in 7th grade but I still know I'm pretty overweight. I want to change but I don't know where to start. My diet is pretty sporadic so I can't simply just cut down calories (maybe I need to stabalize that first). I want to excorcise more but I don't really know what to do. I'm transferring to a normal 4 year school next semester so maybe being more busy and actually involved with life will help but I want to try and get a jump start on it this summer.

For the tl:dr I got fat as a kid, healthy in high school, and am fat again and looking for help on where to go from here.

[barkingincision]

I would like to add to this thread that if anyone wants to talk about their issues with me or just needs some support, I'd be more than happy to do so. Just send me a PM or hit me up on Facebook or Twitter and we can talk.

dude, thanks for making this thread. i'm realizing how many other people have problems somewhat similar to mine, i feel selfish for thinking i was the only one. i've been dealing with image problems for quite a while now. i'm 5'11" and weigh around 150 lbs, which doesn't sound too bad but it shows in my appearance, very very skinny looking torso, big arms and shitty posture, rounded shoulders, etc. it's genetic because my mom has the same frame, yet she's 5'2" and weighs less than 100 lbs, while my dad is 6'2" so i get my dad's height and my mom's frame, suffice to say it doesn't work out too well. for the past year i've been working out like crazy but nothing seems to work, at least not quickly enough, and i'm actually pretty muscular but i still have to hit the gym during the summer and see where it takes me. i think about this shit every single day, every hour, every morning and every night, and it's been this way for two years. being in college on campus i often get scared to go out into public, because it's noticeable right away, and i don't know what to do. it wasn't always this way, it just happened as I got taller and didn't really gain any mass growing up. i try to laugh about it and pretend like it doesn't bother me, but sometimes it really tears me apart inside, and there's not a moment where i can sit and kick it w/friends or other people and not be constantly thinking of how i look. i'm extremely anxious about it all.
nevertheless everything's becoming positive, gradually, as i've slowly attempted to pull my mindset around and accept the things i cannot change right away, and i know if i work my ass off even further at the gym this summer there will be so many good things in the future.
sorry for writing so much, just thought i'd share that w/you, and the people on this site.

[barkingincision]

Ah, this thread. I guess I should tell y'all my story.

I've been overweight my entire life. During middle school, I was teased constantly. I had no confidence in anything, and I really didn't have any friends. At all. I tried joining the football team in 8th grade to try and change that. Did it help? Not at all.

So, freshman year comes along. Am I still teased in high school? Yes, but not as much. Sophomore year, I found a great group of kids that treated me like I wasn't any different. I joined my first band, and some of my confidence/esteem issues went away. Yet, these issues resurfaced every time I tried to get a girl to like. I was rejected time and time again. Same deal junior year. Then, things changed. Senior year. No girlfriend, never been kissed, and at my heaviest weight, things were bad. Real bad. Things could have gotten real drastic, but then my mom mentioned to me how one of her coworkers had gotten the Lap Band surgery, and how she lost a good amount of weight. I decided I would do the same and change my life. In february of 2008, I became the youngest patient (18yrs old) to receive the Lap Band.

With the Lap Band, the first 6 months post-op, I lost about 45-50 pounds. It was awesome. My confidence/esteem/image went up, and I was happy. Yet, with any weightloss success story, there will always be downfalls and plateaus. It's been two years since my surgery, and I gained a good amount of that weight back. I am glad to say, however, in the past 3 months, I've lost 15-20 pounds. Do I have a girlfriend yet? No. Have I've been kissed yet? No. Am I down about it? Not at all. For some odd reason, my confidence and my esteem is sky high. I'm in a new band, have made a whole brand new group of friends (I still have my old ones, too), and I get to meet new girls all the time who do seem to have some sort of unbiased interest in me.

So things are great. Who ever does have these issues, I say to you: do not give up. Do not get down on yourself. Things always get better. They always do.

very interesting story brother, and wise words at the end. stay up.

[MegSo]

I sometimes question whether my habits would be considered a disorder, but then I think "oh, but I eat one meal a day, so at least I'm eating, it doesn't count, I'm fine." I'm probably wrong in that thinking, but it's more of a conscious choice. I've never been really fat, but I've never been as skinny as I wanted to be so I've always been striving to get smaller. I was an athlete for a long time and when I had to stop playing, I pretty much gave up on working out altogether, put on 10 pounds of fat, and hate(d) the way I look. Unfortunately, my "only one meal a day!" thinking has led me to the point where if I eat more than that, I end up getting sick, not by choice but my body just goes "fuck you" and that's that. Working out on top of not eating hasn't done well for me when it comes to having energy, but I've gotten smaller so I'll probably just continue. As a psychology major, I feel as though I should know any potential warning signs, but I just pretend they're not there.

This thread has completely opened my eyes to how many guys suffer from this as well, so thank you. I hope all of you can work through it and be alright with yourselves.

[anthonydarko]

My best friend developed bulimia when she was about 15. She went through all of the rehab stuff, but it never helped. She's got a daughter now, which I think had been her saving grace. She hasn't had any relapses since before she found out she was pregnant, and her little girl is almost a year old now. That child saved her life.

As for myself, I've never had the best body image or any self confidence. I know I'm not big, but I have huge ass hips thanks to my mom. I can't help but look at other girls who are the same height as me, but they're wearing jeans that are at least two sizes smaller than mine. It's never gone as far as an eating disorder, but I have worked out so much that I passed out once. I feel like no matter what I do, I look the same. It's almost not worth the trouble.
Good to hear that your friend was able to beat the disorder, it's kinda of an interesting thing to hear that it took the start of a new life to save her own.
Ah, this thread. I guess I should tell y'all my story.

I've been overweight my entire life. During middle school, I was teased constantly. I had no confidence in anything, and I really didn't have any friends. At all. I tried joining the football team in 8th grade to try and change that. Did it help? Not at all.

So, freshman year comes along. Am I still teased in high school? Yes, but not as much. Sophomore year, I found a great group of kids that treated me like I wasn't any different. I joined my first band, and some of my confidence/esteem issues went away. Yet, these issues resurfaced every time I tried to get a girl to like. I was rejected time and time again. Same deal junior year. Then, things changed. Senior year. No girlfriend, never been kissed, and at my heaviest weight, things were bad. Real bad. Things could have gotten real drastic, but then my mom mentioned to me how one of her coworkers had gotten the Lap Band surgery, and how she lost a good amount of weight. I decided I would do the same and change my life. In february of 2008, I became the youngest patient (18yrs old) to receive the Lap Band.

With the Lap Band, the first 6 months post-op, I lost about 45-50 pounds. It was awesome. My confidence/esteem/image went up, and I was happy. Yet, with any weightloss success story, there will always be downfalls and plateaus. It's been two years since my surgery, and I gained a good amount of that weight back. I am glad to say, however, in the past 3 months, I've lost 15-20 pounds. Do I have a girlfriend yet? No. Have I've been kissed yet? No. Am I down about it? Not at all. For some odd reason, my confidence and my esteem is sky high. I'm in a new band, have made a whole brand new group of friends (I still have my old ones, too), and I get to meet new girls all the time who do seem to have some sort of unbiased interest in me.

So things are great. Who ever does have these issues, I say to you: do not give up. Do not get down on yourself. Things always get better. They always do.
I've always been interested in the Lap Band surgery, such as the limitations that come with it. Good to hear that you haven't let your current weight bring you down, most people would not of handled it as you have.

[maxvsmaradona]

I've always been interested in the Lap Band surgery, such as the limitations that come with it. Good to hear that you haven't let your current weight bring you down, most people would not of handled it as you have.

Oh, it brought me down. It still does. But, to quote Andrew McMahon, "I swim for brighter days, despite the absence of sun."

[zion the lion]

Ah, this thread. I guess I should tell y'all my story.

I've been overweight my entire life. During middle school, I was teased constantly. I had no confidence in anything, and I really didn't have any friends. At all. I tried joining the football team in 8th grade to try and change that. Did it help? Not at all.

So, freshman year comes along. Am I still teased in high school? Yes, but not as much. Sophomore year, I found a great group of kids that treated me like I wasn't any different. I joined my first band, and some of my confidence/esteem issues went away. Yet, these issues resurfaced every time I tried to get a girl to like. I was rejected time and time again. Same deal junior year. Then, things changed. Senior year. No girlfriend, never been kissed, and at my heaviest weight, things were bad. Real bad. Things could have gotten real drastic, but then my mom mentioned to me how one of her coworkers had gotten the Lap Band surgery, and how she lost a good amount of weight. I decided I would do the same and change my life. In february of 2008, I became the youngest patient (18yrs old) to receive the Lap Band.

With the Lap Band, the first 6 months post-op, I lost about 45-50 pounds. It was awesome. My confidence/esteem/image went up, and I was happy. Yet, with any weightloss success story, there will always be downfalls and plateaus. It's been two years since my surgery, and I gained a good amount of that weight back. I am glad to say, however, in the past 3 months, I've lost 15-20 pounds. Do I have a girlfriend yet? No. Have I've been kissed yet? No. Am I down about it? Not at all. For some odd reason, my confidence and my esteem is sky high. I'm in a new band, have made a whole brand new group of friends (I still have my old ones, too), and I get to meet new girls all the time who do seem to have some sort of unbiased interest in me.

So things are great. Who ever does have these issues, I say to you: do not give up. Do not get down on yourself. Things always get better. They always do.

One of my aunts got the lap band, she's not doing it the healthy way though, she was living in Greece and had a doctor basically fill it up all the way so that anything she ate she would throw up.

My mom also has it, she'll just force herself to eat anything even if she cant (like she knows bread isnt good for her with the band but she'll just eat a shit ton of rolls) she eats Mcdonnalds more than twice a day, shit like that...anyway, she's had it for 2 years and other than the initial water weight, she hasnt lost much of anything, so now she's purposefully trying to gain weight to get the band off and get gastric because she thinks that the band (and the program) doesnt work.

so congrats for you doing it and sticking with it.

[anthonydarko]

Oh, it brought me down. It still does. But, to quote Andrew McMahon, "I swim for brighter days, despite the absence of sun."
Ah I guess I didn't read to into the post then, my bad. That's a great line, what song is that from?

[ohheroine]

One time I forgot to do an essay so I made myself throw up all over my carpet in my room to be able to stay home. That was one of the worst experiences of my life. People who can do that multiple times a day completely shock me.


i just laughed out loud in the quiet library at my school. im afraid that if i read it again im gonna laugh even more hahaha.

[And Hours Pass]

I am not in a place where I really want to talk about this, but a close friend of mine died as a result of an eating disorder. These types of things aren't to be taken lightly. While I know nobody here is, I just hope that her story can prove to be a testament to how terrible these diseases can be. For anybody who reads the NYTimes, her story was featured last week in the style section. Her name is Melissa.

[alltimehoe93]

I think we're all pretty critical of ourselves so you just have to figure out what you're comfortable with. Try to focus your attention on the good things that pop out at you when you look in the mirror as opposed to things you may not be as happy with. Even if you start off with nothing, look for good things whenever you do see yourself. See if that helps any. Regardless, best of luck to you, I know it's a really tough position to be in.




growing up and into an Indian body with curves while surrounded by girls who are size 00 has always been a thing for me. like my conscious mind doesn't give a shit and thinks i look fine, but my subconscious makes me not eat certain things or get sick after i do. i truly believe minds can be extremely powerful and i think is the reason why i don't eat the things i used to enjoy b/c my body makes me feel sick afterwards.

all the best for you dude, hope you can overcome your mentality.
I'm completely with you on this one. My friends are all teensy, tiny girls and my family, at least my mom's on the bigger side of the scale and I grew up always thinking I was fat. I know I've lost weight but I still have trouble with it when I just think about it.

[Jennurna Gray]

Ah, this thread. I guess I should tell y'all my story.

I've been overweight my entire life. During middle school, I was teased constantly. I had no confidence in anything, and I really didn't have any friends. At all. I tried joining the football team in 8th grade to try and change that. Did it help? Not at all.

So, freshman year comes along. Am I still teased in high school? Yes, but not as much. Sophomore year, I found a great group of kids that treated me like I wasn't any different. I joined my first band, and some of my confidence/esteem issues went away. Yet, these issues resurfaced every time I tried to get a girl to like. I was rejected time and time again. Same deal junior year. Then, things changed. Senior year. No girlfriend, never been kissed, and at my heaviest weight, things were bad. Real bad. Things could have gotten real drastic, but then my mom mentioned to me how one of her coworkers had gotten the Lap Band surgery, and how she lost a good amount of weight. I decided I would do the same and change my life. In february of 2008, I became the youngest patient (18yrs old) to receive the Lap Band.

With the Lap Band, the first 6 months post-op, I lost about 45-50 pounds. It was awesome. My confidence/esteem/image went up, and I was happy. Yet, with any weightloss success story, there will always be downfalls and plateaus. It's been two years since my surgery, and I gained a good amount of that weight back. I am glad to say, however, in the past 3 months, I've lost 15-20 pounds. Do I have a girlfriend yet? No. Have I've been kissed yet? No. Am I down about it? Not at all. For some odd reason, my confidence and my esteem is sky high. I'm in a new band, have made a whole brand new group of friends (I still have my old ones, too), and I get to meet new girls all the time who do seem to have some sort of unbiased interest in me.

So things are great. Who ever does have these issues, I say to you: do not give up. Do not get down on yourself. Things always get better. They always do.
Awhh, Max. Everybody has things about them that they'd like to change, but those things make us who we are. And they teach us lessons in life. You're young, and you will gain expirience with age. Eventually, you will be kissed, you will have a girlfriend, and most likely, will get married. Think of it as extra time to be free, because dating doesn't come with freedom, and that's why I'm not big on it. If losing weight is what you want to do, I hope you have much luck with it. I'll always be your internet/texting friend to support you whenever you need it.

[deFobbed14yrs]

I think we're all pretty critical of ourselves so you just have to figure out what you're comfortable with. Try to focus your attention on the good things that pop out at you when you look in the mirror as opposed to things you may not be as happy with. Even if you start off with nothing, look for good things whenever you do see yourself. See if that helps any. Regardless, best of luck to you, I know it's a really tough position to be in.





I'm completely with you on this one. My friends are all teensy, tiny girls and my family, at least my mom's on the bigger side of the scale and I grew up always thinking I was fat. I know I've lost weight but I still have trouble with it when I just think about it.

i feel ya. hang in there chick!

[alltimehoe93]

i feel ya. hang in there chick!
aha thanks, you too!

[maxvsmaradona]

One of my aunts got the lap band, she's not doing it the healthy way though, she was living in Greece and had a doctor basically fill it up all the way so that anything she ate she would throw up.

My mom also has it, she'll just force herself to eat anything even if she cant (like she knows bread isnt good for her with the band but she'll just eat a shit ton of rolls) she eats Mcdonnalds more than twice a day, shit like that...anyway, she's had it for 2 years and other than the initial water weight, she hasnt lost much of anything, so now she's purposefully trying to gain weight to get the band off and get gastric because she thinks that the band (and the program) doesnt work.

so congrats for you doing it and sticking with it.

No, the band works. It's the people who don't use it right. Seriously, McDonalds with the lapband is still McDonalds.

Ah I guess I didn't read to into the post then, my bad. That's a great line, what song is that from?

Swim by Jack's Mannequin. Great song.

Awhh, Max. Everybody has things about them that they'd like to change, but those things make us who we are. And they teach us lessons in life. You're young, and you will gain expirience with age. Eventually, you will be kissed, you will have a girlfriend, and most likely, will get married. Think of it as extra time to be free, because dating doesn't come with freedom, and that's why I'm not big on it. If losing weight is what you want to do, I hope you have much luck with it. I'll always be your internet/texting friend to support you whenever you need it.

Thanks boo :-)

[deFobbed14yrs]

aha thanks, you too!

:beerbros: PM me if ya ever need anyone to talk to.

[alltimehoe93]

Swim by Jack's Mannequin. Great song.
JM ♥ Props to you.

[alltimehoe93]

:beerbuddies: PM me if ya ever need anyone to talk to.
haha for sure. Thanks, I really appreciate that, you too :)

It's just weird, like for some reason, even my Indian/Bengali friends are stick thin. Pain in the rear is what that is.

[deFobbed14yrs]

Swim by Jack's Mannequin. Great song.



love this song, it's inspirational.

[maxvsmaradona]

JM ♥ Props to you.

Ahah, I usually put on J'sM when I'm drunk and upset. It's been a while.

[deFobbed14yrs]

haha for sure. Thanks, I really appreciate that, you too :)

It's just weird, like for some reason, even my Indian/Bengali friends are stick thin. Pain in the rear is what that is.



dude there is this one chick who is like 3 inches wide, like her legs. i dunno how she stands. i got a big ass and big hips and i'm fine with it, i love my curves and so do guys.

[alltimehoe93]

Ahah, I usually put on J'sM when I'm drunk and upset. It's been a while.
Aw :( I feel ya. I think I do too actually, minus being drunk. Swim is such a great song but JM is kind of one of my sad bands, overall, so it's been a decent while for me too. I'm glad it's been a while for you if that's what you put on when you're upset.

Weirdly enough, JM just came on but my iPod's on repeat and I meant that I only put on JM consciously when I'm upset. aha, just weird timing.
dude there is this one chick who is like 3 inches wide, like her legs. i dunno how she stands. i got a big ass and big hips and i'm fine with it, i love my curves and so do guys.
Jeeeeeesus. I don't really get that. One of my best friends eats like 3 men put together and she's just over 100 lbs, I think, it's crazy. I got the bad curves, in my opinion, I have a big ass too hah. I'm kind of disproportional really, it's weird, but I'm starting to get over it.

[maxvsmaradona]

Aw :( I feel ya. I think I do too actually, minus being drunk. Swim is such a great song but JM is kind of one of my sad bands, overall, so it's been a decent while for me too. I'm glad it's been a while for you if that's what you put on when you're upset.

Weirdly enough, JM just came on but my iPod's on repeat and I meant that I only put on JM consciously when I'm upset. aha, just weird timing.

Yeah, seriously, songs like Dark Blue really get to me.

[alltimehoe93]

Yeah, seriously, songs like Dark Blue really get to me.
Dark Blue was the first song I heard by Jack's and it always makes me stop and think. I really only listen to it now when I'm not such a happy camper but songs like Dark Blue and Swim help make me feel like it's okay to just be in a slump if I can work my way out of it at some point and I sincerely appreciate those songs/JM for that.

[deFobbed14yrs]

Aw :( I feel ya. I think I do too actually, minus being drunk. Swim is such a great song but JM is kind of one of my sad bands, overall, so it's been a decent while for me too. I'm glad it's been a while for you if that's what you put on when you're upset.

Weirdly enough, JM just came on but my iPod's on repeat and I meant that I only put on JM consciously when I'm upset. aha, just weird timing.

Jeeeeeesus. I don't really get that. One of my best friends eats like 3 men put together and she's just over 100 lbs, I think, it's crazy. I got the bad curves, in my opinion, I have a big ass too hah. I'm kind of disproportional really, it's weird, but I'm starting to get over it.


oh yeah i'm definitely disproportioned lol my lower half is way more bigger than my top half

[ari telescope]

I've had a roller coaster ride when it comes to my weight. I was a pretty healthy child up until about 4th or 5th grade when my family moved (for the fourth time). I didn't have trouble finding friends in the new neighborhood but the thing was the one who was nicest to me wasn't as active, our time was spent playing video games, watching television and the like. So there I put on about 50 pounds. My 6th grade year my family found themselves moving again but this time only 45 minutes away from the neighborhood we left, so we decided to stay with that school. The only thing was with the extra 45 minute drive and playing baseball (which at that age is not all that athletic) we'd stay in the area and eat out at a fastfood joint. So by the end of 6th grade entering 7th I found myself weighing 230 pounds and only 5 feet tall. 8th grade my mother put me on weight watchers and so entering high school I was down to 200. Freshman and Sophomore year I played football and took weight training and then junior and senior year I played soccer and basketball and found myself at a fairly healthy weight of 185. But now community college has screwed me, from being depressed of seeing all my friends go, not having a sport to play, lack of motivation to work out and other life situations, I've spent the last two years pretty much to myself locked up in my room and am back up (and even beyond what I was) to 235. Of course being 6 feet tall now I am not the round bubble boy I was in 7th grade but I still know I'm pretty overweight. I want to change but I don't know where to start. My diet is pretty sporadic so I can't simply just cut down calories (maybe I need to stabalize that first). I want to excorcise more but I don't really know what to do. I'm transferring to a normal 4 year school next semester so maybe being more busy and actually involved with life will help but I want to try and get a jump start on it this summer.

For the tl:dr I got fat as a kid, healthy in high school, and am fat again and looking for help on where to go from here.
Patience and hard work is key. You hear about it all the time, but it really does take both of those things. Losing weight isn't easy, and if you don't have the patience to wait, then you will mess up and ruin progress. Just learn about healthy foods you like, and learn how to make healthy foods taste good. Take your dog for a walk for a mere 30 minutes a day, just that helps ALOT. As you get more into shape, it will be easier to pick up the pace on exercise and actually enjoy it. Good luck :)

Ah I guess I didn't read to into the post then, my bad. That's a great line, what song is that from?
http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt170/aritelescope/swim-1.jpg
Yeah, I know the effect of the song. It's from Jack's Mannequin, you should check it out!

[zion the lion]

No, the band works. It's the people who don't use it right. Seriously, McDonalds with the lapband is still McDonalds.

I always try to tell her that it's not the car that doesnt work, its the driver, but she's at the point where she's acting like the lap band was supposed to be a magical weight loss band or something. She seriously doesnt even try, she refuses to go to the gym or anything and she's just depending on gastric which I know will be a disaster because she's going to have the same attitude. But 10 years ago she went from 300 pounds to 180 all on her own, no pills no surgery, just eating right and exercise and she refuses to do that again and it pisses me off.

[Jennurna Gray]

Thanks boo :-)
Fersure, kid.

[alltimehoe93]

oh yeah i'm definitely disproportioned lol my lower half is way more bigger than my top half
bahah me too. Well, my behind mostly, I'm a weird kind of disproportional haha.

[geebee889]

Good to hear that your friend was able to beat the disorder, it's kinda of an interesting thing to hear that it took the start of a new life to save her own.


Yeah, I'm really glad it happened. She went into that rehab place at least five times, and wasn't getting any better. Her bulimia led to depression and other physical harm, so I'm really glad that she's doing so well. I think it's because she wants to make sure she's always there for her daughter, you know? She has her to focus on, and doesn't really need anything else.

[deFobbed14yrs]

bahah me too. Well, my behind mostly, I'm a weird kind of disproportional haha.

i gots thunder-thighs :rotfl: w/e i'm glad, i would hate being stick thin, although clothes would fit better

[Jennurna Gray]

Looking older has always been easy for me. When I was in kindergarten, kids thought I was in third grade, and when I went to junior high, kids assumed that I had been held back a few times. I was fully matured (puberty, hips, boobs, the whole deal) by the age of 13 and at my maximum height of 5'11.


I had always been a sort of outcast for it, too. I realize now that it was because I felt awkward around 'normal sized' kids, that they treated me awkwardly. My junior high nickname was 'giraffe' and it stuck all three years, and I never joined any activities because I felt out of place. The summer between eighth grade and freshman year, though, something in me did further mature: my confidence. I walked into school that morning with a friendly smile, and I finally allowed myself to be the extrovert that was hiding inside. I was a completely new being, the real me. Ever since, I've been fairly popular and although people still call me 'tall girl' at times, I take it as a compliment and merely a term of recognization. Now, I really appreciate my height.

[Kozzy333]

I've always been fat, sometimes I'm disgusted with my body. Do I do anything about it? I try to. Something always seems to discourage me, like friends/family making jokes about me losing weight. For some reason they seem to think that is a good thing to do. Fuck people.

[geebee889]

Looking older has always been easy for me. When I was in kindergarten, kids thought I was in third grade, and when I went to junior high, kids assumed that I had been held back a few times. I was fully matured (puberty, hips, boobs, the whole deal) by the age of 13 and at my maximum height of 5'11.


I had always been a sort of outcast for it, too. I realize now that it was because I felt awkward around 'normal sized' kids, that they treated me awkwardly. My junior high nickname was 'giraffe' and it stuck all three years, and I never joined any activities because I felt out of place. The summer between eighth grade and freshman year, though, something in me did further mature: my confidence. I walked into school that morning with a friendly smile, and I finally allowed myself to be the extrovert that was hiding inside. I was a completely new being, the real me. Ever since, I've been fairly popular and although people still call me 'tall girl' at times, I take it as a compliment and merely a term of recognization. Now, I really appreciate my height.


I'd rather be taller. I used to get called "midget", "shrimp", "leprechaun", and "elf". The elf one sucked the most because it was half because of height and half because I have little points on my ears. They're not super noticeable, but that's the reason why I always wear my hair down now.

[Jennurna Gray]

I've always been fat, sometimes I'm disgusted with my body. Do I do anything about it? I try to. Something always seems to discourage me, like friends/family making jokes about me losing weight. For some reason they seem to think that is a good thing to do. Fuck people.
Don't let people discourage you. If you want to lose weight, make yourself determined to do so and ignore the hatahs.
I'd rather be taller. I used to get called "midget", "shrimp", "leprechaun", and "elf". The elf one sucked the most because it was half because of height and half because I have little points on my ears. They're not super noticeable, but that's the reason why I always wear my hair down now.
My sister got called 'elf' for the same reasons, haha. But yeah, I think any time you're an extremity you'll get made fun of as a kid. Fat, skinny, short, tall. Kids can be cruel.

[geebee889]

My sister got called 'elf' for the same reasons, haha. But yeah, I think any time you're an extremity you'll get made fun of as a kid. Fat, skinny, short, tall. Kids can be cruel.


Haha, really? It took me such a long time to accept my height, I always hated it. Plus, if you go back to my other post, I'm short with bigger hips. I'm only like 5'1", but I wear a size 5 in pants. I feel like my hips are so much bigger than the rest of me.

[alltimehoe93]

i gots thunder-thighs :rotfl: w/e i'm glad, i would hate being stick thin, although clothes would fit better
baha me too. I can deal with my legs, I've gotten comfortable with them. I hear you. I just wish I was a little taller, it's always hard finding pants that fit me :/
I'd rather be taller. I used to get called "midget", "shrimp", "leprechaun", and "elf". The elf one sucked the most because it was half because of height and half because I have little points on my ears. They're not super noticeable, but that's the reason why I always wear my hair down now.
I'm with you on rather being taller. Being short is not fun.

[geebee889]

baha me too. I can deal with my legs, I've gotten comfortable with them. I hear you. I just wish I was a little taller, it's always hard finding pants that fit me :/

I'm with you on rather being taller. Being short is not fun.


How tall are you?

[Jennurna Gray]

Haha, really? It took me such a long time to accept my height, I always hated it. Plus, if you go back to my other post, I'm short with bigger hips. I'm only like 5'1", but I wear a size 5 in pants. I feel like my hips are so much bigger than the rest of me.
You do know that size 5 isn't big, right? Haha. I wear a 5, too.

[geebee889]

You do know that size 5 isn't big, right? Haha. I wear a 5, too.


But it looks different because you're taller. I feel like they look huge on me because the rest of me is so little.

[alltimehoe93]

How tall are you?
My doctor keeps lying to me because according to her, I've shrunk, but I'm about 5'1".

[deFobbed14yrs]

baha me too. I can deal with my legs, I've gotten comfortable with them. I hear you. I just wish I was a little taller, it's always hard finding pants that fit me :/

I'm with you on rather being taller. Being short is not fun.


trying to find jeans is the death of me lol. also i have really sensitive skin so it just adds more complications. *sighs*

[klaz]

Always had problems with my body, probably always will. I've tried losing weight countless of times, but I always ended up giving up.

[geebee889]

My doctor keeps lying to me because according to her, I've shrunk, but I'm about 5'1".


Yeah, I'm about the same. I always like to give myself an extra half an inch though, haha.

[alltimehoe93]

trying to find jeans is the death of me lol. also i have really sensitive skin so it just adds more complications. *sighs*
haha tell me about it. I've only ever found one place that has solid short jeans but I really don't want to blow $50 for each pair when I wear jeans everyday. Maybe I'm cheap but that's a little much for me. Yikesss, that has to suck. Is there anything you know you can't wear because of that?
Yeah, I'm about the same. I always like to give myself an extra half an inch though, haha.
haha I would but my doctor'll just knock it off for me. I used to be 5'1 1/2" according to her. Then a quarter and now I'm 5'1". I'm short enough as is, I can't really go along with my apparent shrinking hah.

[katyara]

I've almost always had body issues. When I was younger we lived in Birmingham, and all of the girls I knew there were stick-thin and tan and "perfect" (in the eyes of a 3rd/4th grader). I was the pudgy one who didn't really play any sports. One thing that's been helping me is just talking to my friends about it. I literally do not know a single girl who is happy with her body. It may be kind of mean, but I feel a lot better knowing that other people feel the same way too. No one is perfect and for the most part, no one thinks they're perfect, either.

[geebee889]

haha tell me about it. I've only ever found one place that has solid short jeans but I really don't want to blow $50 for each pair when I wear jeans everyday. Maybe I'm cheap but that's a little much for me. Yikesss, that has to suck. Is there anything you know you can't wear because of that?

haha I would but my doctor'll just knock it off for me. I used to be 5'1 1/2" according to her. Then a quarter and now I'm 5'1". I'm short enough as is, I can't really go along with my apparent shrinking hah.


I would find a different doctor, haha. There is no need for shrinking when you're already this short.

[deFobbed14yrs]

haha tell me about it. I've only ever found one place that has solid short jeans but I really don't want to blow $50 for each pair when I wear jeans everyday. Maybe I'm cheap but that's a little much for me. Yikesss, that has to suck. Is there anything you know you can't wear because of that?

haha I would but my doctor'll just knock it off for me. I used to be 5'1 1/2" according to her. Then a quarter and now I'm 5'1". I'm short enough as is, I can't really go along with my apparent shrinking hah.


yeah, clothing made from weird material, like skin tight shit, annoys me to no end. and it hurts lol. it sucks, my fashion is horrible b/c of it but there's not much i can do.

[alltimehoe93]

I would find a different doctor, haha. There is no need for shrinking when you're already this short.
haha well the place I go to keeps having their doctors leave so every time I've gone to the doctor's in the past 2 years or so, it's been a different doctor. Always a blast when I'm the medical problem child of the family.
yeah, clothing made from weird material, like skin tight shit, annoys me to no end. and it hurts lol. it sucks, my fashion is horrible b/c of it but there's not much i can do.
Aw geez, that sucks. Do you need to wear just natural materials?

[Jennurna Gray]

But it looks different because you're taller. I feel like they look huge on me because the rest of me is so little.
That's still not big, hon. It's not like you're fat.

[geebee889]

haha well the place I go to keeps having their doctors leave so every time I've gone to the doctor's in the past 2 years or so, it's been a different doctor. Always a blast when I'm the medical problem child of the family.


Maybe they just don't know how to measure then.

[geebee889]

That's still not big, hon. It's not like you're fat.


They've just always bothered me, and I don't know how to change that. :/

[alltimehoe93]

Maybe they just don't know how to measure then.
Pretty good chance of that. And I'm always around stupidly tall people. Like it's really just stupid how much taller they are than me.
/bitter

[Jennurna Gray]

They've just always bothered me, and I don't know how to change that. :/
I don't think you can... :shrug:

Edit: Oh, you mean that it bothers you? lol.

[geebee889]

Pretty good chance of that. And I'm always around stupidly tall people. Like it's really just stupid how much taller they are than me.
/bitter


Trust me, I feel ya on that one, haha. Yet somehow I always end up with annoyingly tall people for friends.

[deFobbed14yrs]

haha well the place I go to keeps having their doctors leave so every time I've gone to the doctor's in the past 2 years or so, it's been a different doctor. Always a blast when I'm the medical problem child of the family.

Aw geez, that sucks. Do you need to wear just natural materials?

it has to be really soft. nothing tight. i have like one pair of jeans i always wear b/c they're aren't bad. and i wear a lot of black shirts that are cottony, a lot of tank tops b/c my arms are the same way.

[geebee889]

I don't think you can... :shrug:

Edit: Oh, you mean that it bothers you? lol.


Haha, yeah. I know I can't change the size of them, but I'd like to change my perception. I just don't know how.

[alltimehoe93]

Trust me, I feel ya on that one, haha. Yet somehow I always end up with annoyingly tall people for friends.
haha I know how that goes, for a while, I did too. I thought I was done with that because I really only hang out with my best friends now who are all short too but everyone at school is just a giant or teensy but obviously I notice the beasts ahah. Any guys that I'm friends with are easily around 6' and they always make fun of me for being short :(
it has to be really soft. nothing tight. i have like one pair of jeans i always wear b/c they're aren't bad. and i wear a lot of black shirts that are cottony, a lot of tank tops b/c my arms are the same way.
I can't even imagine having limits like that when shopping, that must be so tough :/

[geebee889]

haha I know how that goes, for a while, I did too. I thought I was done with that because I really only hang out with my best friends now who are all short too but everyone at school is just a giant or teensy but obviously I notice the beasts ahah. Any guys that I'm friends with are easily around 6' and they always make fun of me for being short :(


Yeah, I dated a guy who was 6'2", so that was interesting, haha.

[alltimehoe93]

Yeah, I dated a guy who was 6'2", so that was interesting, haha.
baha oh I can only imagine. I get you though, I always like tall guys. I actually always end up liking my physical opposite, I realized hahah.

[geebee889]

baha oh I can only imagine. I get you though, I always like tall guys. I actually always end up liking my physical opposite, I realized hahah.


See, I actually prefer shorter guys. I like being closer in size when cuddling, is that weird?

[alltimehoe93]

See, I actually prefer shorter guys. I like being closer in size when cuddling, is that weird?
Hm, really? haha no, that makes sense. I've just personally always been more attracted to tall guys. Always a pain to hug them, etc. :(

[geebee889]

Hm, really? haha no, that makes sense. I've just personally always been more attracted to tall guys. Always a pain to hug them, etc. :(


Haha, yeah. Plus it's easier to hold hands because we're more on the same level. I dig the short guys. A lot.

[alltimehoe93]

Haha, yeah. Plus it's easier to hold hands because we're more on the same level. I dig the short guys. A lot.
haha aw yeah. I'm used to being around tall guys just because all of my guy friends over the years have always been like a solid foot taller than me so it's not a huge stretch to the guys I've liked.

[geebee889]

haha aw yeah. I'm used to being around tall guys just because all of my guy friends over the years have always been like a solid foot taller than me so it's not a huge stretch to the guys I've liked.


Yeah, that makes sense. See, I'm the opposite. I have tall friends, but I normally go for the shorter guys.

[alltimehoe93]

Yeah, that makes sense. See, I'm the opposite. I have tall friends, but I normally go for the shorter guys.
Your reasons make sense, now it's making me think about me and my attraction to tall guys haha.

[geebee889]

Your reasons make sense, now it's making me think about me and my attraction to tall guys haha.


Haha, I don't know exactly why I like it, but it's always the opposite. Like right now, there's this guy that I really like and he's only like 5'6" or 5'7". He hates it, but I love it.

[alltimehoe93]

Haha, I don't know exactly why I like it, but it's always the opposite. Like right now, there's this guy that I really like and he's only like 5'6" or 5'7". He hates it, but I love it.
haha well that's lucky for him then. I feel like if I liked a short guy, I would feel badly because his height just wouldn't phase me and if he hated it, I wouldn't be able to truthfully say much to make him feel better about it. So for the short guys out there, we need more people like you haha.

[geebee889]

haha well that's lucky for him then. I feel like if I liked a short guy, I would feel badly because his height just wouldn't phase me and if he hated it, I wouldn't be able to truthfully say much to make him feel better about it. So for the short guys out there, we need more people like you haha.


Haha, there aren't many out there. I love it though!

[makeshiftmind]

used to be about 50 pounds heavier but lost it in a couple months and have struggled with body image/self esteem issues for awhile. Been coming to terms with it of late, and just want to maintain a reasonable body weight and be in relatively good shape

[alltimehoe93]

Haha, there aren't many out there. I love it though!
haha lucky for me :) I kid, I guess it depends on what you think is short or tall.

[geebee889]

haha lucky for me :) I kid, I guess it depends on what you think is short or tall.


Haha, very true. I think short is around 5'7"...but still amazing.

[catherinexhimel]

I thought I was fat until I got into high school, toned my body a little, and my A cups magically grew to D cups over the course of a year. Now if anyone says anything about my body, it's about my boobs. Shutting out everyone's opinions is still extremely hard, but totally worth it. Don't think of other's opinions. True friends/boyfriends won't be bitchy or rude about your body type.

[deFobbed14yrs]

haha I know how that goes, for a while, I did too. I thought I was done with that because I really only hang out with my best friends now who are all short too but everyone at school is just a giant or teensy but obviously I notice the beasts ahah. Any guys that I'm friends with are easily around 6' and they always make fun of me for being short :(

I can't even imagine having limits like that when shopping, that must be so tough :/


haha shopping?? lol i barely go. pajamas and flannel are my best friends lol. i'm always in pj's unless i have to go out somewhere. it's annoying but i deal with it. wish i could go shopping and feel comfortable in things. my life could be worse though so i'm not complaining.

[maxvsmaradona]

I always try to tell her that it's not the car that doesnt work, its the driver, but she's at the point where she's acting like the lap band was supposed to be a magical weight loss band or something. She seriously doesnt even try, she refuses to go to the gym or anything and she's just depending on gastric which I know will be a disaster because she's going to have the same attitude. But 10 years ago she went from 300 pounds to 180 all on her own, no pills no surgery, just eating right and exercise and she refuses to do that again and it pisses me off.

Tell her from someone who knows that if she gets gastric, and her eating habits don't change, she's seriously going to get insanely sick to her stomach. Gastric patients who don't eat right suffer something called Dumping Syndrome. It's seriously bad news bears.

[anthonydarko]

I am not in a place where I really want to talk about this, but a close friend of mine died as a result of an eating disorder. These types of things aren't to be taken lightly. While I know nobody here is, I just hope that her story can prove to be a testament to how terrible these diseases can be. For anybody who reads the NYTimes, her story was featured last week in the style section. Her name is Melissa.
I'm terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, that is an awful situation. One of my biggest fears with my disorder is death, I often wonder if it will be the death of me. I have already begun to feel some physical effects that years of bulimia has brought on, I have random pains in my abdomen often and at times when I work out, I have very sharp pains in my chest. It truly scares me of what has happened to me and I find that if I don't find a way to stray away from it, I will die eventually.
When I was 12, I had ridiculous body image issues; I wasn't even big at all, but I thought I was, and everything just escalated from there. I kept and hid journals under my bed, where I'd note how many crunches/push ups/jumping jacks/miles I did each day, what I ate (or rather, what I didn't), and I'd take these ridiculous polaroids every night, and then sit there like a maniac circling everything I thought was wrong with me and what I had to change. I ended up getting down to really scary weights, and all of my clothes were too big, and everyone started noticing, and one night I ended up passing out in my bedroom from working so hard and hardly ever eating and always being so anxious all the time. I was only 12, and I didn't know what was going on, so I thought I was dying, hah. But I guess it sort of gave me the scare that I needed, because after that I eased up a bit, on account of I was terrified it'd happen again and I'd really die or something.

I still dealt with, and still deal with today, those sort of issues, though. I used to be really close with these girls, and they'd constantly get annoyed whenever I complained about my weight or appearance, and they'd tell me I was only "fishing for compliments" and that I knew I wasn't really fat or ugly, that I just wanted to hear others tell me I was skinny and pretty all the time. This frustrated (and still frustrates) me, because it wasn't/isn't the case at all. But either way, saying those things all the time cost me quite a couple friends, and even contributed to destroying my relationship with this boy I'd dated on and off for about three years, because I was always nervous about it (at one point, I refused to eat in front of people or even just get my picture taken).

It's just frustrating because I feel like other people think you can just stop when you want to, and stop feeling so anxious and awful about it, but you can't. But it's also frustrating because I understand how obnoxious my incessant complains about my appearance and such were (I don't really vocalize them too often anymore, for this reason, haha). But so to the OP, I wish you the best, sir. I don't have any fabulous advice, unfortunately, but I do wish you luck in overcoming it.

This is something I've learned many people believe about people who suffer from these disorders, they really do believe that you can just stop whenever you feel. As much as I would want to put down those people for those kinds of thoughts, I have to remind myself that those people just don't know any better. There is a lot of information out there about eating disorders but not a lot of information about how to deal with someone with an eating disorder. Hopefully one day there will be more information about that out there for people to use when helping someone in need.

Reading your post, it is clear that you have had a very troubled time growing up because your obsession. I hope that one day you will find a way to overcome that and come to peace with your views on your body :-)
Always had problems with my body, probably always will. I've tried losing weight countless of times, but I always ended up giving up.
Weight loss is a very demanding process, it is very easy to just throw your hands up in the air and give in. You just have to find a routine that works for you and stick with it. It'll be hard but you just have to hang in there and not give up.

[anthonydarko]

Swim by Jack's Mannequin. Great song.





http://i608.photobucket.com/albums/tt170/aritelescope/swim-1.jpg
Yeah, I know the effect of the song. It's from Jack's Mannequin, you should check it out!
I'll have to look into that song. Speaking of Jack's Mannequin, I was looking through old photos and I found what I feel is an awful picture of myself with Andrew at Warped a couple of years ago: http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/23/l_42c186d9ca326f77703c53d992404320. jpg
I absolutely hate how I look in the photo but at the same I feel that I'm telling myself that to put myself down. I don't know if it's me but I find it hard to look at old photos without nitpicking on I look in it. Does anyone else here do the same thing themselves?

[.invisible ink.]

I absolutely hate how I look in the photo but at the same I feel that I'm telling myself that to put myself down. I don't know if it's me but I find it hard to look at old photos without nitpicking on I look in it. Does anyone else here do the same thing themselves?

understatement of the century in regard to me. fuck photos.

edit: and mirrors as the posts below me stated. ugh. i hate my life.

[phil19]

photos, mirrors, i hate them all

[SincerelyMe]

I obsess over photos and mirrors . I can't stand it.

[And Hours Pass]

I'm terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, that is an awful situation. One of my biggest fears with my disorder is death, I often wonder if it will be the death of me. I have already begun to feel some physical effects that years of bulimia has brought on, I have random pains in my abdomen often and at times when I work out, I have very sharp pains in my chest. It truly scares me of what has happened to me and I find that if I don't find a way to stray away from it, I will die eventually.

I hate to say it, but you are slowly killing yourself. Look around you at all of the people you care about and try to understand that you need to break the cycle of what you're doing or you won't be around for much longer.

I know it's hard to comprehend this, but you need to. I've watched it happen.

[anthonydarko]

I hate to say it, but you are slowly killing yourself. Look around you at all of the people you care about and try to understand that you need to break the cycle of what you're doing or you won't be around for much longer.

I know it's hard to comprehend this, but you need to. I've watched it happen.
I am aware of what I'm doing to myself is slowly killing me and as much as I have tried to stop, I cannot do it. It is a very difficult thing to stop and as I mentioned in the OP, I've been fighting it for about 3 years with no real success. It's just not that easy to just stop like that.

[ari telescope]

I'll have to look into that song. Speaking of Jack's Mannequin, I was looking through old photos and I found what I feel is an awful picture of myself with Andrew at Warped a couple of years ago: http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/23/l_42c186d9ca326f77703c53d992404320. jpg
I absolutely hate how I look in the photo but at the same I feel that I'm telling myself that to put myself down. I don't know if it's me but I find it hard to look at old photos without nitpicking on I look in it. Does anyone else here do the same thing themselves?
Not just that but... Well right before I met my now-fiancé I was REALLY REALLY bad, and got to a low weight that clearly I didn't notice because I still saw nothing but fat, looking back and thinking my daily thoughts back then. Well I screwed up after I met him and did that "I have a bf now, *binge binge binge*" and gained like, 25 pounds. So now when I look at old photos of us or myself from that era of time, I get honest-to-god SO depressed. I literally cry and want to vomit becauae it had been SO long at that point since i felt like I looked good, and that I screwed up something I worked for so bad. And he'll ask me why I'm crying and why I'm so upset and I'll just start screaming like "how do you not see how skinny I was and how I looked so much better and I was cute and having a skinny face made my hair look better and we were cute because I was smaller" and he SWEARS he doesn't even notice and that I look the same.

Another thing is that every now and then, he'll joke about how I'm "trying to be tough" by always wearing jeans and sneakers and a band tee/hoodie combo and not anything girly like I did when we first met (when I was able to). He said he doesn't care, and I believe him but I know he'd love to see me dress a little more fashiony sometimes. Truth is, I don't because I don't look good in thin, girly materials. My gut sticks out and my ass is huge and my arms are like pillows and I look like a fucking amazon beast. I can't wear my old girly clothes because they're too small, but I can't convince myself to buy a "large" because then it means I plan on it for the long run, and I'm giving in. But I can't say that. So when he jokes I just have to take it with a smile.

OH and the one that breaks my heart is when we first met, he'd done the sneakiest sweetest thing and gotten me this limited edition Jack's Mannequin Valentine's Day shirt in a small, because two months ahead when he'd ordered it, that's what I was. When it came, I was a medium so I got to wear it maybe twice. Now it's freakishly small and stuffed in the bottom of a drawer. You should see the look on his face when he remembers it and asks why I never wear it. I always just say that "it's too limited edition, I'd rather preserve it" and clearly he knows I'm lying, but he thinks I just hate it and that he did bad :(

/didn't realize i'd rant off into a new topic... But yeah I hate all pictures old and new.

[klaz]

Weight loss is a very demanding process, it is very easy to just throw your hands up in the air and give in. You just have to find a routine that works for you and stick with it. It'll be hard but you just have to hang in there and not give up.


I know. It's just that once I hit a plateau, I completely lose hope.

[alltimehoe93]

Haha, very true. I think short is around 5'7"...but still amazing.
Yeah, that's kind of short. I like 'em like 5'10"+ haha. I think short is anything under 5'7" and after that, it's pretty average height.
haha shopping?? lol i barely go. pajamas and flannel are my best friends lol. i'm always in pj's unless i have to go out somewhere. it's annoying but i deal with it. wish i could go shopping and feel comfortable in things. my life could be worse though so i'm not complaining.
haha, I hear ya. I love shopping, I just don't go out shopping very much. PJs and flannel should be everyone's best friends haha.

[And Hours Pass]

I am aware of what I'm doing to myself is slowly killing me and as much as I have tried to stop, I cannot do it. It is a very difficult thing to stop and as I mentioned in the OP, I've been fighting it for about 3 years with no real success. It's just not that easy to just stop like that.
I hope you're at least trying to take action to get help. Regardless of how many "programs" haven't worked for you, you will eventually find one that does.

Have you tried medications? I had another friend who began taking prozac and it helped them defeat their eating disorder.

[geebee889]

Yeah, that's kind of short. I like 'em like 5'10"+ haha. I think short is anything under 5'7" and after that, it's pretty average height.


Haha, so you like the really tall ones? Well, you can have them, and I'll take all the ones under 5'10". ;-)

[anthonydarko]

I hope you're at least trying to take action to get help. Regardless of how many "programs" haven't worked for you, you will eventually find one that does.

Have you tried medications? I had another friend who began taking prozac and it helped them defeat their eating disorder.
I try to live my life without the aid of medication, mostly due to me taking ADD meds when I was a kid that made me eat impulsively and made me very depressed. It left an impression on me that hasn't gone away as an adult, it's hard for me to trust a medication I feel will do more harm than good. Perhaps I need to talk to a psychiatrist about a medication that could work for me and that I can trust.

[alltimehoe93]

Haha, so you like the really tall ones? Well, you can have them, and I'll take all the ones under 5'10". ;-)
haha sounds like a very fair and fun split, I'm game :)

[geebee889]

haha sounds like a very fair and fun split, I'm game :)


Haha, sweet! When I spy any tall guys I'll send them in your direction.

[alltimehoe93]

Haha, sweet! When I spy any tall guys I'll send them in your direction.
haha I was about to say, "when I see short fellas, I'll tell them to call-..." but I don't know your name haha.

[geebee889]

haha I was about to say, "when I see short fellas, I'll tell them to call-..." but I don't know your name haha.


Oh, I don't think I know your name either, haha. Well, mine's Geena!

[And Hours Pass]

I try to live my life without the aid of medication, mostly due to me taking ADD meds when I was a kid that made me eat impulsively and made me very depressed. It left an impression on me that hasn't gone away as an adult, it's hard for me to trust a medication I feel will do more harm than good. Perhaps I need to talk to a psychiatrist about a medication that could work for me and that I can trust.
I would definitely recommend it. Test studies have shown that Prozac can help people overcome this disease. It may not work for everybody, but talking to a psychiatrist will at least give you some perspective and another ear to hear what you're trying to express.

Not that my opinion probably holds too much weight as I'm just another member of AP, but I can't stress how important it is for you to pursue this. The worst that can happen is you will see the psychiatrist, decide it isn't for you, and leave. The potential gain, on the other hand, is tremendous.

[alltimehoe93]

Oh, I don't think I know your name either, haha. Well, mine's Geena!
haha that'd make sense, being geebee and all. I'm Tash :)

[anthonydarko]

I would definitely recommend it. Test studies have shown that Prozac can help people overcome this disease. It may not work for everybody, but talking to a psychiatrist will at least give you some perspective and another ear to hear what you're trying to express.

Not that my opinion probably holds too much weight as I'm just another member of AP, but I can't stress how important it is for you to pursue this. The worst that can happen is you will see the psychiatrist, decide it isn't for you, and leave. The potential gain, on the other hand, is tremendous.
You bring up a good point, I'll look into trying to see a psychiatrist about medication. As you said, the worst that could happen is me leaving and getting nothing out of it so I really don't have a lot to lose. Thanks for the advice man.

[geebee889]

haha that'd make sense, being geebee and all. I'm Tash :)


Haha, yeah. My username for pretty much everything is geebee. And nice to meet you, Tash! I like your name. :)

[alltimehoe93]

Haha, yeah. My username for pretty much everything is geebee. And nice to meet you, Tash! I like your name. :)
haha I was the same way, I'd always use TH (my initials) for things until I realized my brother and mom use TH for everything haha. Nice to meet you too :) Oh thanks :]

[geebee889]

haha I was the same way, I'd always use TH (my initials) for things until I realized my brother and mom use TH for everything haha. Nice to meet you too :) Oh thanks :]


Haha, so they stole your idea! Yeah, and my last name is Berardi, so you can see where the second half of it comes from. And yay for making new friends! :D

[SincerelyMe]

I try to live my life without the aid of medication, mostly due to me taking ADD meds when I was a kid that made me eat impulsively and made me very depressed. It left an impression on me that hasn't gone away as an adult, it's hard for me to trust a medication I feel will do more harm than good. Perhaps I need to talk to a psychiatrist about a medication that could work for me and that I can trust.

I know exactly what you mean. ADD meds really fucked me up. They completely took away my personality when I was on them and made me anti-social and really depressed/suicidal. I don't understand how doctors can give that stuff to six year olds.

[alltimehoe93]

Haha, so they stole your idea! Yeah, and my last name is Berardi, so you can see where the second half of it comes from. And yay for making new friends! :D
hahah well I'm the baby of the family but for sure hahah. Oh yep, that'd make sense. I think I've only got one username that has my name in it actually. :buddies:

[geebee889]

hahah well I'm the baby of the family but for sure hahah. Oh yep, that'd make sense. I think I've only got one username that has my name in it actually. :buddies:


I'm the baby too, haha. But no one else in my family has my initials, so I'm in the clear! I just tend to use the same one for everything because I would get them all mixed up. :-d

[alltimehoe93]

I'm the baby too, haha. But no one else in my family has my initials, so I'm in the clear! I just tend to use the same one for everything because I would get them all mixed up. :-d
haha power to the babies of families! haha, three quarters of my family has the same initials, it's so lame. hahaha I just realized I'm using a screenname with my name in it too, duh. So I've got a couple but I've got a few different ones that I use, I keep the passwords mostly the same though.

[geebee889]

haha power to the babies of families! haha, three quarters of my family has the same initials, it's so lame. hahaha I just realized I'm using a screenname with my name in it too, duh. So I've got a couple but I've got a few different ones that I use, I keep the passwords mostly the same though.


Woo! And that probably gets confusing at times, haha. At least I'd imagine so. Ah, that makes more sense, haha. I don't think I'd be able to have more than 3, otherwise I'd forget them all.

[alltimehoe93]

Woo! And that probably gets confusing at times, haha. At least I'd imagine so. Ah, that makes more sense, haha. I don't think I'd be able to have more than 3, otherwise I'd forget them all.
haha well it's really not that bad because our actual names sound pretty different but it's just kind of weird. Oh believe me, with a memory like mine, having multiple ones was not smart.

[anthonydarko]

I know exactly what you mean. ADD meds really fucked me up. They completely took away my personality when I was on them and made me anti-social and really depressed/suicidal. I don't understand how doctors can give that stuff to six year olds.
ADD meds are probably some of the worst things ever to give to kids. I was on them for most of my life and I can say without hesitation that I'm glad I'm not on them anymore. It's one thing to control your kid, it's another to shove pills down their throats and mess with their minds.

[geebee889]

Ah, okay. And, yeah, that's certainly weird, haha. That's why I didn't do that. I have a terrible memory. :/

[Mandee, darling]

I have a naturally high metabolism, and for the life of me I can't gain weight (just recently have I been able to gain just a little bit of weight thanks to birth control). People however, think I'm anorexic and constantly tell me "you're so skinny, you need to eat more."

It really hurts to hear that constantly, even from people who've seen me eat and know I eat just as much as they do, if not more.

[Two Headed Girl]

http://images.uulyrics.com/cover/d/dashboard-confessional/album-dusk-and-summer.jpg I'm gonna try and get down from 180 (5'8) to this weight by summer.

[kana900]

When I was 12, I had ridiculous body image issues; I wasn't even big at all, but I thought I was, and everything just escalated from there. I kept and hid journals under my bed, where I'd note how many crunches/push ups/jumping jacks/miles I did each day, what I ate (or rather, what I didn't), and I'd take these ridiculous polaroids every night, and then sit there like a maniac circling everything I thought was wrong with me and what I had to change. I ended up getting down to really scary weights, and all of my clothes were too big, and everyone started noticing, and one night I ended up passing out in my bedroom from working so hard and hardly ever eating and always being so anxious all the time. I was only 12, and I didn't know what was going on, so I thought I was dying, hah. But I guess it sort of gave me the scare that I needed, because after that I eased up a bit, on account of I was terrified it'd happen again and I'd really die or something.

I still dealt with, and still deal with today, those sort of issues, though. I used to be really close with these girls, and they'd constantly get annoyed whenever I complained about my weight or appearance, and they'd tell me I was only "fishing for compliments" and that I knew I wasn't really fat or ugly, that I just wanted to hear others tell me I was skinny and pretty all the time. This frustrated (and still frustrates) me, because it wasn't/isn't the case at all. But either way, saying those things all the time cost me quite a couple friends, and even contributed to destroying my relationship with this boy I'd dated on and off for about three years, because I was always nervous about it (at one point, I refused to eat in front of people or even just get my picture taken).

It's just frustrating because I feel like other people think you can just stop when you want to, and stop feeling so anxious and awful about it, but you can't. But it's also frustrating because I understand how obnoxious my incessant complains about my appearance and such were (I don't really vocalize them too often anymore, for this reason, haha). But so to the OP, I wish you the best, sir. I don't have any fabulous advice, unfortunately, but I do wish you luck in overcoming it.

EDIT: Oh wow, I'm sorry this is so long, haha. I should probably get back to my English essay.

I know exactly what you mean. I remember one time, back when my disorder was very bad, my parents took me to a diner. And I was just absolutely refusing to eat, so my father got really frustrated and yelled something like, "Why can't you just eat already?!". I was in tears.

[Fullblast 2.0]

I am perfect the way I am, and I don't view myself negatively. Actually, I don't give a fuck about what anybody thinks about me.

[annika360]

Oh, I'm sorry for you, dude. It's got to be rough. Might I suggest that you focus on your longevity? Like, if you can't kick the habit for yourself, think about the people in your life who rely on you as well as the unborn people in your life who will rely on you in the future. My dad's girlfriend is bulimic. She's in her 50's! Her teeth look like they're about to fall out, she constantly has acid reflux in her throat and she looks like she's gonna shrivel up at any moment. Body dysmorphia freaking sucks. It effects everyone to some degree. I look in the mirror and I see the body that I had ten years ago, not the one I have now after ten years of taking much better care of myself in terms of health and fitness.

Good luck, Anthony!

[Charles777]

People have been giving me shit about how I look for my whole life, so naturally I hate everything about myself.

[terror_91]

I need to lose a couple of pounds, otherwise I am a fine piece of ass.

[TragicPast]

My current girlfriend has an eating disorder. She came to me asking for help, I did all I could, andwhen I couldnt do much, she blamed it all on me. Its hard, yeah. But at least someone cares, right?

[Fullblast 2.0]

I have a huge penis, is that negative towards my body image?

[ari telescope]

My current girlfriend has an eating disorder. She came to me asking for help, I did all I could, andwhen I couldnt do much, she blamed it all on me. Its hard, yeah. But at least someone cares, right?
Why would she do that to you? That's horrible, yoi didn't cause her eating disorder and if she's blaming you (and you really did try and help her in a nice way) then she has her own issues and isn't being fair to you at all. You should figure out what it is.

[orang3m3rk3]

i too grew up obese most of my life, then after a leg fracture (due to my weight) i lost a significant amount of weight and decided to jump start my diet ever since then. i can honestly say my confidence has never been very high no matter what my weight is, but don't turn to bulimia to solve your problems. good exercise, eating right, and hard work are enough to make anyone fit. you could be cursed with slow metabolism like me and other people who grew up fat, but you just need to work a bit harder.

[lurker411_k9]

wow. i have some pretty fucked body issues, but never any eating disorders. sorry dudes :(

[anthonydarko]

So I'm bumping this because I'm going through a shit load of issues with my disorder. I've had a massive relapse with it recently to where I cannot eat almost anything without having minor panic attacks about what I ate. I continuously throw up what I eat because I fear it will make me gain a lot of weight. I am deeply ashamed of what has happened, I was doing well for a while and now it's all come crashing down again. I just don't know what to do anymore, this thing is literally destroying me.

[Kassie09]

So I'm bumping this because I'm going through a shit load of issues with my disorder. I've had a massive relapse with it recently to where I cannot eat almost anything without having minor panic attacks about what I ate. I continuously throw up what I eat because I fear it will make me gain a lot of weight. I am deeply ashamed of what has happened, I was doing well for a while and now it's all come crashing down again. I just don't know what to do anymore, this thing is literally destroying me.

Don't feel ashamed of it, it isn't your fault, really. :hug:

[atticus18244fss]

So I'm bumping this because I'm going through a shit load of issues with my disorder. I've had a massive relapse with it recently to where I cannot eat almost anything without having minor panic attacks about what I ate. I continuously throw up what I eat because I fear it will make me gain a lot of weight. I am deeply ashamed of what has happened, I was doing well for a while and now it's all come crashing down again. I just don't know what to do anymore, this thing is literally destroying me.

Man. Don't do this to yourself. You are a good guy from what I've seen on here. Be happy with who you are.

[SincerelyMe]

So I'm bumping this because I'm going through a shit load of issues with my disorder. I've had a massive relapse with it recently to where I cannot eat almost anything without having minor panic attacks about what I ate. I continuously throw up what I eat because I fear it will make me gain a lot of weight. I am deeply ashamed of what has happened, I was doing well for a while and now it's all come crashing down again. I just don't know what to do anymore, this thing is literally destroying me.

Don't be ashamed. You have so little control over these things. Tell yourself it'll get better, because eventually, it will. :hug:

[aradiantsunrise]

Fuck what people think.

[geebee889]

So I'm bumping this because I'm going through a shit load of issues with my disorder. I've had a massive relapse with it recently to where I cannot eat almost anything without having minor panic attacks about what I ate. I continuously throw up what I eat because I fear it will make me gain a lot of weight. I am deeply ashamed of what has happened, I was doing well for a while and now it's all come crashing down again. I just don't know what to do anymore, this thing is literally destroying me.


Pretty much what everyone else has said. And I know my issues aren't as severe as yours, but I'm pretty sure I told you about my really good friend that went through this stuff. If you ever want to talk, I understand this stuff...don't hesitate to message me, okay? :hug:

[rachelsparhawk]

I've been struggling with my eating disorder for my entire life, which is compulsive overeating. However, I have struggled with bulimia for four years off and on, but right now it is dormant and will hopefully stay that way.

[ari telescope]

So it's getting frustrating again. I'm obsessing more and I'm getting so frustrated if I don't lose a pound every day. I want to only weigh myself once a week but the scale calls me every morning. Im watching the True Life I Cant Stay Thin and every time they show the guy I want to cry so bad because I know EXACTLY how shitty he feels and it sucks that no one understands it.

[ari telescope]

So I'm bumping this because I'm going through a shit load of issues with my disorder. I've had a massive relapse with it recently to where I cannot eat almost anything without having minor panic attacks about what I ate. I continuously throw up what I eat because I fear it will make me gain a lot of weight. I am deeply ashamed of what has happened, I was doing well for a while and now it's all come crashing down again. I just don't know what to do anymore, this thing is literally destroying me.
I know what you're going through. The anxiety is making me so fucking emotional and crazy and I can't stop crying and feeling so awful and I wish I knew what to do. I'm so so sorry, but I at least wish you would stop making yourself throw up. The anxiety is bad but tearing up your throat and ruining your teeth and your insides isn't worth it in the long run.

[The_Blackout94]

I'm currently going through some shit to do with this. I am perfectly healthy, but I am terribly skinny. It's not that I have an eating disorder r anything, I am just like that. I can barely look at myself in the mirror without being repulsed. It sucks because I know there is nothing I can do to change it.
This may not be related though, as I don't nave an eating disorder as uch.

[ari telescope]

I'm currently going through some shit to do with this. I am perfectly healthy, but I am terribly skinny. It's not that I have an eating disorder r anything, I am just like that. I can barely look at myself in the mirror without being repulsed. It sucks because I know there is nothing I can do to change it.
This may not be related though, as I don't nave an eating disorder as uch.
My fiancé and his siblings are the same way (which is insane considering). It bothers him because he can only eat a ton when he smokes weed, but you onviousy can't do that all the time, and his sister is constantly eating high calories and being on meds from the doctors to gain weight and it hardly works. It's weird because people in my position could never imagine what it's like to be you, and vice versa. So alike but sooo different.

[anthonydarko]

I know what you're going through. The anxiety is making me so fucking emotional and crazy and I can't stop crying and feeling so awful and I wish I knew what to do. I'm so so sorry, but I at least wish you would stop making yourself throw up. The anxiety is bad but tearing up your throat and ruining your teeth and your insides isn't worth it in the long run.
I wish I knew what to do as well. It's like I've become a hypocrite of sorts, I try to help people with their problems while I'm falling into the same pitfalls at the same time. I don't know how to keep it under control this time, it's strong this time around. But thank you for the encouragement to stop, the same goes to the rest of you guys for your kind words.

[geebee889]

I wish I knew what to do as well. It's like I've become a hypocrite of sorts, I try to help people with their problems while I'm falling into the same pitfalls at the same time. I don't know how to keep it under control this time, it's strong this time around. But thank you for the encouragement to stop, the same goes to the rest of you guys for your kind words.


I think we all do that to some extent though...helping others with the same problems that we have. I know I do that, especially when it comes to body image and that kind of stuff. And there are always kind words for you when I'm here. I just want to make sure you're alright.

[anthonydarko]

I think we all do that to some extent though...helping others with the same problems that we have. I know I do that, especially when it comes to body image and that kind of stuff. And there are always kind words for you when I'm here. I just want to make sure you're alright.
Aw thanks, you're a good person :hug:

[geebee889]

Aw thanks, you're a good person :hug:


Any time! :-) I just think it's better to be nice to people than hold grudges and such. So any time you'd like to talk, I'm here to listen.


Oh, and my name is Geena!

[catherinexhimel]

I've been struggling with my eating disorder for my entire life, which is compulsive overeating. However, I have struggled with bulimia for four years off and on, but right now it is dormant and will hopefully stay that way.

I do this when I'm tired, stressed out, or anxious.

[journeyhayes]

For as long as I can remember, I've had serious issues with my body image. I grew up most of my life overweight, which destroyed much of my self esteem and confidence. A few years ago, I made the decision to lose weight and in turn lost over 50 pounds. However with the weight loss, my own issues with body amplified tenfold and led me to a obsession with my weight and appearance, which led me to develop a case of bulimia. It's been something I've tried to fight ever since, I've been to rehab for it and I've had nothing but support from my friends but I've never been able to stop obsessing over how I look. It has been one of my most destructive demons in my life and I've gone through countless highs and lows with it. Hopefully one day I'll be able to kick it, as hard as it will be.

So with my story, I ask if anyone else here has dealt with an eating disorder, know someone who has or has body image issues of their own.

dude you look good dont sweat over body image you are who are and should be able to accept that

[crazymorbid]

So i kinda stopped eating when im with people. my boyfriend always tells me its not healthy and such but i cant help but to no listen. i gained about 3lbs and when i saw that this morning i literally started to freak out....im afraid its going to turn into something worse again...

[anthonydarko]

So i kinda stopped eating when im with people. my boyfriend always tells me its not healthy and such but i cant help but to no listen. i gained about 3lbs and when i saw that this morning i literally started to freak out....im afraid its going to turn into something worse again...
What makes you uncomfortable when you eat around people may I ask?

[crazymorbid]

What makes you uncomfortable when you eat around people may I ask?
just the fact of they can see what im eating and i think that thr thinking "wow shes eating that? what a fat chick" *sigh* ive always had that problem ever since i started eating kinda regularly. plus im afraid that they'll find some way to make fun of my weight..

[anthonydarko]

just the fact of they can see what im eating and i think that thr thinking "wow shes eating that? what a fat chick" *sigh* ive always had that problem ever since i started eating kinda regularly. plus im afraid that they'll find some way to make fun of my weight..
Well you really shouldn't think those kind of things as it hard as it can be. Now I myself worry from time to time about what my friends think about my weight or what I eat but recently I've learned to block those things out and not let them get to me. Plus if they really are your friends, what reason would they have to think of things like that? Perhaps you should talk to your friends about your problem and ask for their support with your situation. It's better to tell your friends your problem and have them help you than keeping them in the dark and destroying yourself.

[SincerelyMe]

just the fact of they can see what im eating and i think that thr thinking "wow shes eating that? what a fat chick" *sigh* ive always had that problem ever since i started eating kinda regularly. plus im afraid that they'll find some way to make fun of my weight..

Christ, I think the exact same thing. And if I do wind up eating with people (dinner at a friend's house or something that I can't get out of), I'm so paranoid looking at everyone else's plates and making sure I don't eat more than anyone else. It's so stressful.

[crazymorbid]

Well you really shouldn't think those kind of things as it hard as it can be. Now I myself worry from time to time about what my friends think about my weight or what I eat but recently I've learned to block those things out and not let them get to me. Plus if they really are your friends, what reason would they have to think of things like that? Perhaps you should talk to your friends about your problem and ask for their support with your situation. It's better to tell your friends your problem and have them help you than keeping them in the dark and destroying yourself.
i know only one of my friends really knows about how ive struggled with it. shes worried about me even tho i keep telling her im alright.

[anthonydarko]

So I started taking Prozac to try to get control of things. I've had a few relapses in the past few months, heartbreak is one hell of a thing.

[Jennurna Gray]

So I started taking Prozac to try to get control of things. I've had a few relapses in the past few months, heartbreak is one hell of a thing.
I'm sorry, that must be really hard :-(

[SincerelyMe]

So I started taking Prozac to try to get control of things. I've had a few relapses in the past few months, heartbreak is one hell of a thing.

How's that working out for you? I'm in a pretty similar place, minus the medication.

[anthonydarko]

I'm sorry, that must be really hard :-(
It was for a while. I was really in love with the girl I was dating but I found that she didn't feel the same way so I took it kinda hard. It also led me to drink quite a bit, at one point I was drinking almost every night.
How's that working out for you? I'm in a pretty similar place, minus the medication.
I'm doing better, just taking it day by day. I've been sticking to my vegetarian diet so that's helped a bit but I still have my anxieties and fears about eating. I'm also currently looking into therapy so I can start dealing with the issues that help fuel my disorder.

[Jennurna Gray]

It was for a while. I was really in love with the girl I was dating but I found that she didn't feel the same way so I took it kinda hard. It also led me to drink quite a bit, at one point I was drinking almost every night.
Ouch. Did she know how you felt? I mean, before you found out.

[Gaston]

i don't understand bulimia
i find throwing up difficult to muster even when i am sick and need to do so

granted i am very thin and don't eat much really anyway because i don't understand the attraction some people have with food. tastes good going in, sure. an hour later you could be feeling terrible though and it's all based on what you eat

[anthonydarko]

Ouch. Did she know how you felt? I mean, before you found out.
She had an idea about it but she really didn't think much of it. I later found out she was getting serious with another guy at the same time we were dating so that added to the heartbreak a little bit.

[anthonydarko]

i don't understand bulimia
i find throwing up difficult to muster even when i am sick and need to do so

granted i am very thin and don't eat much really anyway because i don't understand the attraction some people have with food. tastes good going in, sure. an hour later you could be feeling terrible though and it's all based on what you eat
It's not a really easy thing to explain, as with other eating disorders. It's just something that consumes you to the point where the action of throwing up doesn't seem so difficult to you.

[Jennurna Gray]

She had an idea about it but she really didn't think much of it. I later found out she was getting serious with another guy at the same time we were dating so that added to the heartbreak a little bit.
She sounds like a bitch.

[Gaston]

It's not a really easy thing to explain, as with other eating disorders. It's just something that consumes you to the point where the action of throwing up doesn't seem so difficult to you.
i understand how it can consume you because it's an addiction right? what i don't understand is how to even start

[Gaston]

She sounds like a bitch.
she DOES

[SincerelyMe]

It was for a while. I was really in love with the girl I was dating but I found that she didn't feel the same way so I took it kinda hard. It also led me to drink quite a bit, at one point I was drinking almost every night.

I'm doing better, just taking it day by day. I've been sticking to my vegetarian diet so that's helped a bit but I still have my anxieties and fears about eating. I'm also currently looking into therapy so I can start dealing with the issues that help fuel my disorder.

Sounds like you're on a good path. I know it's easier said than done, but keep it up.

And don't let stupid girls bring you down. :-)

[Jennurna Gray]

she DOES
Sup, bro?

[Gaston]

Sup, bro?
nothing i played halo and went for walks all weekend. first time on my computer in DAYS

also OP:

http://files2.adme.ru/files/news/part_10/108205/french_eat_meat.jpg

[anthonydarko]

She sounds like a bitch.
Pretty much yeah. I've moved on since then but I still hold a bit of resentment towards her because of that.
i understand how it can consume you because it's an addiction right? what i don't understand is how to even start
Well there are various reasons to why people start. For me, it was being overweight for a good portion of my life and having very little self-esteem and confidence growing up. When I started losing weight, I got a lot of compliments from people. This led me to believe that if I wasn't overweight, people would like me more. So I started purging as a way to keep that delusional idea alive.

[Jennurna Gray]

It's not a really easy thing to explain, as with other eating disorders. It's just something that consumes you to the point where the action of throwing up doesn't seem so difficult to you.
I can understand that. You purge as an act of desperation to get rid of the food, right? Someone I knew described it as 'the food is the enemy'.

[Jennurna Gray]

nothing i played halo and went for walks all weekend. first time on my computer in DAYS
Fun stuff, haha. I spent my weekend counting pills and sitting in a hospital.

[anthonydarko]

Sounds like you're on a good path. I know it's easier said than done, but keep it up.

And don't let stupid girls bring you down. :-)
Thanks Sarah, I'll make sure they don't. :-)

[anthonydarko]

I can understand that. You purge as an act of desperation to get rid of the food, right? Someone I knew described it as 'the food is the enemy'.
That's pretty much what it is. It's not an easy thing to deal with, I've lost track of how many times I've purged after eating at a restaurant or eating something out of my comfort zone.

[Jennurna Gray]

That's pretty much what it is. It's not an easy thing to deal with, I've lost track of how many times I've purged after eating at a restaurant or eating something out of my comfort zone.
It sounds extremely difficult. I mean, I can't relate, but I can sympathize. And it all stems from a lack of self confidence, from what I can see. What sucks about that is that you can't convince people to see what you see, perception is all our own.

[Gaston]

Fun stuff, haha. I spent my weekend counting pills and sitting in a hospital.
you win some, you lose some. i spent last weekend writing two horrid papers

[Jennurna Gray]

you win some, you lose some. i spent last weekend writing two horrid papers
Guess so.

[James Johnson]

The more you stress or let this kind of thing control you the more people around you will become aware of your esteem issues and it legitimately then becomes a social issue too. Confidence is key to so much, its so sad when kids get so lost and caught up in bullshit that they go down this path. No good ever came from hating your disliking yourself.

[Gaston]

Guess so.

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be back playing halo all weekend in no time

[Jennurna Gray]

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be back playing halo all weekend in no time
Heh. Not what I want to be 'back to doing', but I guess it works.

[anthonydarko]

It sounds extremely difficult. I mean, I can't relate, but I can sympathize. And it all stems from a lack of self confidence, from what I can see. What sucks about that is that you can't convince people to see what you see, perception is all our own.
That has been the thing that people I know don't really understand about eating disorders. It is hard for someone on the outside trying to look in and try to help you when they just don't understand what drives you to those actions. My mom in particular has tried understand my disorder to try to help me for some time now, whether it be watching Dr.Phil episodes (seriously) or reading books on the subject. I thumbed through one book she got recently on helping people with eating disorders, it was pretty standard information in my eyes. She asked me if I thought it was helpful and I told her to a degree, there are just some things that a book can't really explain.

[James Johnson]

Heh. Not what I want to be 'back to doing', but I guess it works.


Hi noob! Get some hair!

[Heart-A-Tact]

For the past two years of my life, I've had issues with the way I see myself. I'm 5'7" and I weigh 118 pounds, and while there's some part of my mind that understands that, if anything, I could probably stand to gain a few pounds, there's another part of my mind that overpowers the aforementioned part and convinces me that I never look good in anything I wear simply because I'm not skinny enough. No amount of reassurance from family or friends has really ever helped, and I do believe that it's a gigantic stressor in my life. I haven't been pushed to form an eating disorder, but I'm really not sure what's stopping me. I just hope that day never comes. While my case is not near as severe as yours, I'm sort of struggling, as well, so I kind of feel you. Hold your head up, dude.

[Gaston]

Heh. Not what I want to be 'back to doing', but I guess it works.

Hi noob! Get some hair!

When you look up "professional" in the dictionary, the first thing that comes up is this exchange.

[Jennurna Gray]

That has been the thing that people I know don't really understand about eating disorders. It is hard for someone on the outside trying to look in and try to help you when they just don't understand what drives you to those actions. My mom in particular has tried understand my disorder to try to help me for some time now, whether it be watching Dr.Phil episodes (seriously) or reading books on the subject. I thumbed through one book she got recently on helping people with eating disorders, it was pretty standard information in my eyes. She asked me if I thought it was helpful and I told her to a degree, there are just some things that a book can't really explain.
Right. It's really great that she's trying to support you in it, though. People can tell you as much as they want that you look good the way you do, but it's not helping anything unless you believe it yourself the most easily relatable aspect of the situation. I get that much of it, anyway.
Hi noob! Get some hair!
James, you're just a hater :-p
How've you been?

[Jennurna Gray]

When you look up "professional" in the dictionary, the first thing that comes up is this exchange.
I don't know, I've never looked up 'professional' in the dictionary. What does that even mean?

[anthonydarko]

Right. It's really great that she's trying to support you in it, though. People can tell you as much as they want that you look good the way you do, but it's not helping anything unless you believe it yourself the most easily relatable aspect of the situation. I get that much of it, anyway.
I'm glad she is; when I first came out with my problem, she just flat out didn't help me. Of course I know now that she just didn't know how to handle that so I can't hold that against her.

[Gaston]

I don't know, I've never looked up 'professional' in the dictionary. What does that even mean?

basically this
http://www.giving.cornell.edu/guide/_images/high/professional-student-aid.jpg

[Jennurna Gray]

I'm glad she is; when I first came out with my problem, she just flat out didn't help me. Of course I know now that she just didn't know how to handle that so I can't hold that against her.
Well, yeah. I mean, for people who aren't really exposed to it, I can see how it would be hard to understand. I'm glad she's there for you now, though. Understand or no, support is a good thing.
basically this
http://www.giving.cornell.edu/guide/_images/high/professional-student-aid.jpg
And why would I wnat to be that?!

[James Johnson]

I don't know, I've never looked up 'professional' in the dictionary. What does that even mean?

I don't know but I assumed he was calling us attractive.

[Gaston]

Well, yeah. I mean, for people who aren't really exposed to it, I can see how it would be hard to understand. I'm glad she's there for you now, though. Understand or no, support is a good thing.

And why would I wnat to be that?!

guy in the middle looks like he's having the time of his fucking life who wouldn't want to be that

[KellyGleason]

I've always had body image issues, but once I got to college and ditched my old friends, I became so much more confident. I've never been the girl to garner attention, but now I was going out and getting noticed! As a short, stout girl with not much to offer, I felt pretty good about myself. Until recently. It only took one guy to ruin that for me. :-( Bleh.