and...go

[CROMagnon]

a couple years ago i posted some stuff here, but rather than do it again, i'd like to post a link to a blog i've started to put up some stuff i've been working on

please visit and comment (constructively, please)
http://rupturedsyllables.blogspot.com/

[CROMagnon]

i realized i didn't open it up for anyone to comment
now i have

[ArTkY_]

Its not bad. Its a bit wordy though. In the second stanza the vocabulary was refreshing, but by the end it got to be too much. Work on your diction. But I understand its meant to be somewhat formal.

[CROMagnon]

Its not bad. Its a bit wordy though. In the second stanza the vocabulary was refreshing, but by the end it got to be too much. Work on your diction. But I understand its meant to be somewhat formal.
wordy? that's one of the shorter, simpler things i've ever written...hmm, interesting

but thanks for reading