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Well maybe I'm Woody
And he's your Buzz.
Like I was saying to Hamm
"I'm no Superman."
But you were my Lana
You were my Lana Lang.
You said you need me
Well one thing's for sure
"We're not in Kansas anymore."
And "there's no place like home."
Oh, there's no place like home.
But if home is where the heart is
Then where am I without you?
Just a castaway,
Orphaned by the rain.
;) Bear in mind that it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek. At one point in time there was music to go along with it, but out of pure laziness I never got around to writing a second verse / chorus with other movie characters. Maybe someday...
a speedo model
09/11/06, 01:03 PM
i didn't like it.
TheObserver
09/11/06, 10:32 PM
yea its a little too much to be just "tongue-in-cheek"
HereUntilDeath
09/13/06, 08:31 AM
I think it is stupid
sorry....
ImpulZe
09/13/06, 09:47 AM
lol all of the above.
Haha, ok :] I think everyone takes things a little too seriously... just trying to lighten things up :p
OveriseFan
09/13/06, 07:45 PM
No, people don't take things too seriously, people realize when things suck.
':p'
That is all.
The ending is too cliche/ripping me off to be enjoyable. The rest is seriously stupid and written by a 3rd grader.
So, at first I was thinking I should be nice... but wow.
ahahahahahhahahahaha, I don't care if you were serious or not, this is awful.
thecurerocks182
09/13/06, 08:47 PM
No, people don't take things too seriously, people realize when things suck.
':p'
That is all.
The ending is too cliche/ripping me off to be enjoyable. The rest is seriously stupid and written by a 3rd grader.
wow that was pretty harsh...i don't entirely enjoy the piece but i think it deserves more than that
-- edit --
Sorry for those that read earlier; pride got the best of me. But really, if you don't like my creative endeavors, leave it at that. Calling me a 3rd grader is really just immature.
parallelism
09/13/06, 11:10 PM
I didn't enjoy it myself, but for what it was, this really isn't as bad as everybody is saying. Like you said, it's pretty obvious it wasn't meant to be taken very seriously.
Also, sorry about my lack of even an ounce of originality; I guess it just ends up working out that way sometimes. Usually my concepts run a little bit deeper than the ones from the last two pieces that I've posted.
Either way, don't take this all to heart. It's particularly harsh here and some people will just tell you what you don't want to hear. Eventually people will warm up to you when you've been posting for a while. Unfortunately, that's just the way it is on any board, as sketchy as it can be.
I didn't enjoy it myself, but for what it was, this really isn't as bad as everybody is saying. Like you said, it's pretty obvious it wasn't meant to be taken very seriously.
Also, sorry about my lack of even an ounce of originality; I guess it just ends up working out that way sometimes. Usually my concepts run a little bit deeper than the ones from the last two pieces that I've posted.
Either way, don't take this all to heart. It's particularly harsh here and some people will just tell you what you don't want to hear. Eventually people will warm up to you when you've been posting for a while. Unfortunately, that's just the way it is on any board, as sketchy as it can be.
Sorry, I wasn't referring to you with the originality. I don't believe I've read anything by you yet.
And I've become well aquainted with the favor some authors are given and the merit their pieces receive simply due to that :p Some poor girl was toasted because she wrote poorly and was new a few weeks ago... it was really uncalled for.
I want you to write another piece. I've never read anything you've written besides this.
I'll admit I was harsh, sorry.
I want you to write another piece. I've never read anything you've written besides this.
I'll admit I was harsh, sorry.
http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=81277
My more honest, less playful writing of long ago.
http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=81277
My more honest, less playful writing of long ago.
That song is absolutely wonderful... the imagery is beautiful.
OveriseFan
09/15/06, 05:27 PM
-- edit --
Sorry for those that read earlier; pride got the best of me. But really, if you don't like my creative endeavors, leave it at that. Calling me a 3rd grader is really just immature.
I didn't call you a third grader, I called your writer a 3rd grader. See the difference?
If you ever want actual advice about writing you can PM/IM me, I'm always happy to help, but I really just don't know where to start on this one.
OveriseFan
09/15/06, 05:29 PM
http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=81277
My more honest, less playful writing of long ago.
Most of that's good, but "I remember the hour, your words so sour" Come on... seriously. I know you can do better than that.
Most of that's good, but "I remember the hour, your words so sour" Come on... seriously. I know you can do better than that.
Oh wow, I didn't realize that post had the old lyrics. Yeah, that was the one part of the song I changed when it went from an acoustic demo to the plugged version. They lyrics to the chorus changed to:
Tell me something, tell me something I'll know means love.
Tell me please, tell me we're sent from above.
But don't tell me I fall for all those romance games.
I write a diary of praise
And I'm mapping out my heartbeats in a journal for you,
You see me through
All the pitfalls and the pain
And in the cold you fan the flame
Comforting me like a desert rain.
And all the beauty that inspired me
To waltz into the fire
Keeps calling through the night.
"You don't give up without a fight."
Honestly, there were a bunch of people mad at me for changing the lyrics, but I didn't really like the old chorus at all. The song itself was verbose and I felt repeating lines in the chorus would betray the rest of the song. Ended up being a 9 minute song... but it was the crowd favorite.
Oh wow, I didn't realize that post had the old lyrics. Yeah, that was the one part of the song I changed when it went from an acoustic demo to the plugged version. They lyrics to the chorus changed to:
Tell me something, tell me something I'll know means love.
Tell me please, tell me we're sent from above.
But don't tell me I fall for all those romance games.
I write a diary of praise
And I'm mapping out my heartbeats in a journal for you,
You see me through
All the pitfalls and the pain
And in the cold you fan the flame
Comforting me like a desert rain.
And all the beauty that inspired me
To waltz into the fire
Keeps calling through the night.
"You don't give up without a fight."
Honestly, there were a bunch of people mad at me for changing the lyrics, but I didn't really like the old chorus at all. The song itself was verbose and I felt repeating lines in the chorus would betray the rest of the song. Ended up being a 9 minute song... but it was the crowd favorite.
That is indeed better. James is a cunt.
OveriseFan
09/16/06, 08:03 AM
That is indeed better. James is a cunt.
hahahaha.
I read the old lyrics, and the chorus was pretty terrible. I'll help anyone that asks, but I get sick of saying the same thing.
The new chorus is actually good. I enjoyed it. What song is that from? Is it on your myspace/Purevolume?
hahahaha.
I read the old lyrics, and the chorus was pretty terrible. I'll help anyone that asks, but I get sick of saying the same thing.
The new chorus is actually good. I enjoyed it. What song is that from? Is it on your myspace/Purevolume?
It's on our MySpace. http://www.myspace.com/valvalis
I believe Treefall and Mellowdrama are both still up there.
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